second try to say goodbye

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24

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  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #22
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    24242 said:

    Survivors Guilt
    It isn't easy watching others go before us and especially those we have shared such bonds with this I know for sure. The losses are too great sometimes though we know there is this flow to life we can feel with our every breath. Times are tough enough trying not to think about the possible out comes and being tired and sick and tired doesn't make it easy to see things in a fresh light.
    I have lost a few of my very dear loves in life who had to go before their time and I just know that they will live long through everyone they touched if we just allow them too. It isn't easy being a survivor when others haven't been able to survive as much but LOVE sometimes is all there is. Death complicates the thoughts we have and sometimes knock us back a whole pile of steps and not easy to overcome.
    My hope and wish for you is that you can remember those around you and how hard it is on them. Thanks Hubby for finding the message because that truly is as simple as it gets.
    Tara

    Thanks Hubby

    Thanks Hubby
  • kakie
    kakie Member Posts: 38
    #23
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    carkris said:

    Thanks Hubby

    Thanks Hubby

    Yes Hubby,
    Thank you
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #24
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    Think of your children........
    Laura,

    I understand that you have children........FIGHT FOR THEM!!!!!!!! THEY NEED YOU!
    No one can replace YOU! YOU are unique....a one and only! Don't give up.....I lost my own mother when I was young.........I miss her to this day and she has been gone 34 years.. I am unaware of your prognosis.....But my feeling is as long as there is breath in your body, there is HOPE! Make this about your kids.....I have to agree with another "sister" who says this sounds like a "suicide goodbye.".........I hope that's not the case, but if it is, again think of your children.......what kind of a legacy is that to leave them?.....I have seen the aftermath and wake of what suicides do to those who are left to deal with it......

    You stated your sister is the ONLY one who loved you? I doubt that, Laura.....especially having children....THEY LOVE YOU....THINK OF THEM! Just THINK, period!

    I know, all of us on this site, know what it's like to feel emotionally and physically spent...this isn't an easy thing to cope with, IT SUCKS! But we do it, in spite of all the mental and physical pain it causes us and those we love.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reach out to someone who can help you..I am rooting for you......I know you"ll do the right thing! We may not know one another personally on this site, but I know that there is love,caring,compassion and help, just waiting for you to reach out to us....We're here for you......No, we can't replace your sister, but we have a strong connection to one another. This site has helped me more than anyone knows..but then again I think we all feel that way. SO PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP........and the most important thing of ALL..........THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN! Make this about your children........

    I wish you peace of mind.....I wish I could reach out and hug you......
    Nancy
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #25
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    Laura,
    YOU are also one of
    Laura,
    YOU are also one of the warriors here on the boards! I absolutely hear the pain in your voice, and I know from recent posts that things are so hard for you emotionally. But sweet sister, we need you, you need us, and and others here have said, your babies need you.
    Please, don't give up! Call the ACS, call 911, call a suicide hotline~ EVERYONE who cares about you ( and they number in the hundreds) is ready to give you the loving care you deserve.

    We value you, Laura. Your personality, your posts, the love you have to offer is worth
    so very much...I was so happy to see your name back on the boards~ it had been a while!

    We are connected here not "just" because of BC; we have come to be connected by our heartstrings. We are Kindred Spirits, we fight together. We also laugh and rejoice together. And you are part of who all of us are. We are sisters.

    Don't let this day go by without calling someone...and then come back in and let us know how you are.


    (((((((hugs and love))))))

    Chen♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #26
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    chenheart said:

    Laura,
    YOU are also one of
    Laura,
    YOU are also one of the warriors here on the boards! I absolutely hear the pain in your voice, and I know from recent posts that things are so hard for you emotionally. But sweet sister, we need you, you need us, and and others here have said, your babies need you.
    Please, don't give up! Call the ACS, call 911, call a suicide hotline~ EVERYONE who cares about you ( and they number in the hundreds) is ready to give you the loving care you deserve.

    We value you, Laura. Your personality, your posts, the love you have to offer is worth
    so very much...I was so happy to see your name back on the boards~ it had been a while!

    We are connected here not "just" because of BC; we have come to be connected by our heartstrings. We are Kindred Spirits, we fight together. We also laugh and rejoice together. And you are part of who all of us are. We are sisters.

    Don't let this day go by without calling someone...and then come back in and let us know how you are.


    (((((((hugs and love))))))

    Chen♥

    Laura
    I am praying that your post is your cry for help, and, that you will seek some help. You know that all of your sisters in pink here love you and will support you in anyway that we can, but, we are limited unfortunately by what we can do. But, we ALL are willing to do what we can to get you through this dark time.

    Death is no answer, it never is. Leaving this earth would only bring pain to your children, and, I KNOW you don't want to do that.

    I realize from some of your other posts that you were having problems, but, what you are considering would be the wrong way out.

    God is always there, you just have to reach out to him. So, I ask you to pray to him to give you strength and to help you with what you are going through at this time.

    The ACS has a 24 hour hotline with experienced bc survivors that can help you and guide you also. This is NOT the time to give up!!!!!

    Your sister would NOT want you to do this! Would she? NO!

    So, please seek some help outside of this board and get your life back on track. I know..easier said than done, but, you CAN do it, if you really want to. If not for yourself, for your children. After all, you are a GREAT MOM!

    And, this is one of my favorite quotes:

    " Your best life is still ahead of you! "

    Sending hugs and love,


    Sue :)
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #27
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    Laura! You have fought so
    Laura! You have fought so hard to get where you are...a survivor! You have been on a perilous journey and I know that with everything else, family problems have left you feeling lost in the storm. You have a loving heart and people who love you. Hang on, you can weather this, too. My heart goes out to you. xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #28
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    lynn1950 said:

    Laura! You have fought so
    Laura! You have fought so hard to get where you are...a survivor! You have been on a perilous journey and I know that with everything else, family problems have left you feeling lost in the storm. You have a loving heart and people who love you. Hang on, you can weather this, too. My heart goes out to you. xoxoxoxo Lynn

    Hey Laura
    There are lots of
    Hey Laura

    There are lots of us who have turned to antidepressants to get us through these rough times. I started them about 3 weeks ago and I am starting to feel much better now. Please pick up that phone and call someone who can help you through this. You are not alone.
    Dee
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #29
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    NO
    Laura I did not take the time to read all the other responses so if I repeat I am sorry. NO, you have three children you post pictures of and you say how wonderful they are and how much you love and are loved by them so no, your sister in heaven can wait you are needed here! Time to dig deep and and think of your children who will have their world rocked in a way you cannot even imagine should you choose to attempt to be with your sister. You need to fight to be here, call your doctor tell them how you feel and get some assistance so you can get back in the saddle so to speak. Think of those cherub faces you have posted here and remember the touch and love they give, they are in the midst of growing up and they need their Mom. Hope to hear from you soon!

    RE
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #30
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    RE said:

    NO
    Laura I did not take the time to read all the other responses so if I repeat I am sorry. NO, you have three children you post pictures of and you say how wonderful they are and how much you love and are loved by them so no, your sister in heaven can wait you are needed here! Time to dig deep and and think of your children who will have their world rocked in a way you cannot even imagine should you choose to attempt to be with your sister. You need to fight to be here, call your doctor tell them how you feel and get some assistance so you can get back in the saddle so to speak. Think of those cherub faces you have posted here and remember the touch and love they give, they are in the midst of growing up and they need their Mom. Hope to hear from you soon!

    RE

    I am sadden by all of this .. Reach deep inside of
    yourself ... and try to stay here with us. Thank of those who love you .. children first, as I always say ..

    Strength and Peace:


    Vicki Sam
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #31
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    Laura
    please find help immediately. We don't want to hear you say goodbye. Don't give up. Your sister is watching. Think of your children. You are a survivor! Keep reaching out....
    {{hugs}} Char
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member
    #32
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    cahjah75 said:

    Laura
    please find help immediately. We don't want to hear you say goodbye. Don't give up. Your sister is watching. Think of your children. You are a survivor! Keep reaching out....
    {{hugs}} Char

    Laura
    Please respond to us, dear. We are anxious indeed, and need to know that you are alright!
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #33
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    carkris said:

    I am at a loss for words,
    I am at a loss for words, you r daughter says it all. sometimes this makes you feel anxious and sad, and alone. please dont give up. fight.

    Very good point Hubby
    Thanks. I have been following the group discussion lately. Laura, you are a great person. your daughter needs you and you need her. I hope you read hubby's post. You have been exhausted physically and emotionally. lease do not give up. Look at support you got from everyone. You have so many fiends right here and can meet sisters who live close to you. What city /state do you live? I am sure there is somebody from this board who is geographically close to you.
    Call me any time please write PM.
    Hugs
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
    #34
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    xxoo
    Hey Laura,
    Email me when you have a chance. I'd love to talk.
    I hate the darkness. It'll be okay just stay with us. You're loved.

    xxoo,
    JoJo
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #35
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    SamuraiMom said:

    xxoo
    Hey Laura,
    Email me when you have a chance. I'd love to talk.
    I hate the darkness. It'll be okay just stay with us. You're loved.

    xxoo,
    JoJo

    Please choose to hold on to hope.
    None of us want to see you give up...don't leave, we love you. Let us or someone help.

    Standing in the gap for you,

    Sylvia
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #36
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    Don't give up!
    Please don't give up! You have 3 beautiful children that need their mother. It would break my heart to know these children had to grow up without you. I just recently lost a niece to this beast and she left behind an 8 year old son. It was one of the most difficult things to see him try to cope. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!

    Hugs and prayers
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
    #37
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    ladyg said:

    Don't give up!
    Please don't give up! You have 3 beautiful children that need their mother. It would break my heart to know these children had to grow up without you. I just recently lost a niece to this beast and she left behind an 8 year old son. It was one of the most difficult things to see him try to cope. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!

    Hugs and prayers

    Please get help immediately...someday you can look
    back on this lowest of lows and be thankful that you are still with your children. My husband lost his Mom to bc when he was 11 and he can tell you how difficult it is to lose your Mom as a child. We have wonderful meds to help you thru this and everyone here loves you and we need you.

    Please hear us and get the help you need.

    Love, Judy
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    #38
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    Laura please
    Check back with us. We are all here for you. I know it feels lonely at times but please know you have so many people who care.
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #39
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    oh laura, you are breaking
    oh laura, you are breaking my heart, i just want to wrap you in my arms and tell you that it will be okay. where do you live? i am willing to get in my car tomorrow morning and drive to wherever you are. you need to know that we care about you, please please please don't give up,
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #40
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    ppurdin said:

    Laura.
    I am crying as I am writting here.You are someone that helped me so much when I was going through my battle with the beast.I really don,t know what to say other then I am so sorry.I will be Praying for you.I Pray you have a pastor you can talk to.Please make sure it isn,t depression talking.You can get help for that.But I do relize that we all have our breaking point.We love you very much.xxoo Pat.

    I pray that you are ok. You
    I pray that you are ok. You are seriously depressed and need to seek help. And, there is help out there, besides us here.


    Leeza
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    #41
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    Dear Laura, I know you are
    Dear Laura, I know you are tired, but please hang in there. We all go through blue spells and just want a break from it all from time to time. If need be, let the tears flow. I find I feel better after a good cry.

    You have three beautiful kids who love you like crazy. Remember them and get help. Some have posted numbers where you can get it, if you want it. You were blessed to have a wonderful relationship with your sister who is now in heaven. You know... deep down inside she would want you to Fight, Fight, Fight for yourself and for your kids, you're worth it!

    Hugs, kisses, and prayers to you dear sweet Sister.
    BL

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