Life and Death Here in “Our World”
Sundanceh
Member Posts: 4,392 Member
There have been dark clouds hanging over our community this month. Like a storm that won’t pass, we’ve all been feeling this heaviness in our hearts as we check the Board each day, hoping for news that we don’t want to see, but fearing and knowing that we will.
Just like all of you, the grief and sorrow has been almost too much for words to convey what we are truly feeling, but it is what we have to express in some form the grief we are experiencing and the pain in each of our hearts.
We want so much to wish it all away, but it is not in our power to do so. We want to run away, but there is nowhere to hide. We have had to stand there and meet these difficult times head on with the grace and dignity that resides in each one of our hearts.
As badly as it hurts us, the families that are affected have been hurt more and it is for THEM, that we stand by everyday here to offer support and comfort to not only those families, but to all of us as well – Grief comes in many flavors, but as a community when one of Wins, WE all win – when one of us LOSES, then WE all lose.
During my time on this Board, I have learned quite a few things – about each other here and about the principles in Life that we all live by. I’ve never met a more incredible, supportive, and loving group of people in my entire life. All of YOU each day, show me the way and how it is done. Your strength, courage, and compassion is what the world needs right now – and in a big way.
It was not too long ago last year, that there were several deaths that occurred on the Board, one right after the other. I did not have the privilege of knowing these folks, but knew of their stories from hearing and reading about them from the Ol’Timers that knew them so closely and would speak of them.
I remember feeling sad for the folks that passes – it’s always sad to read about someone losing their battle with Cancer – it reminds us of how fragile that life can be – it jolts us to an awareness that this is REAL and the stakes are FOR KEEPS.
I remember mentioning in a post to the Ol’Timers of the board of how I empathized with them on the loss of their friends – but I did not have the emotional connection to them that the Ol’Timers did, and I felt so sad that they were hurting so badly with the loss of another family member.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to experience it first hand on what it’s like to lose someone who you’ve built a relationship and shared the SMILES and the TEARS with. It is a sense of loss that can never be replaced and there is a certain “denial” that nothing can happen to all of these good people, who are your friends.
Sadly, I know that it sometimes not true, but I suppose it’s a “Shield of Naivete” that I use so that my spirit won’t be crushed – I just cannot imagine this Board or my life without each of YOU in it. It is such a joy and comfort to come here and logon and look to see who’s here and what’s going on in “Our World.”
I’ve been asked by people, “Why do you stay on the Board?” “Why do you put yourself through all of the sad stories and heartbreak and loss?”
The ANSWER is simple – and I can say it in this phrase: “THEY are my friends – and I love them.”
And the other answer is there are good times here too and a lot of sharing and love – it comes in waves around here. We talk about our individual Cancer being the ‘rollercoaster’ but the Board is the same way. At any given moment, we are doing scans – waiting on results – scheduling surgeries – doing surgeries – having recurrences – going NED etc. etc.
Sometimes, this can all be very overwhelming – what this Board has taught me is that we have to HANG together - to advise, support, and love each other to the fullest of our abilities – that is what a FAMILY does. And that’s what makes our place so special and a big part of our lives.
Never really having a family, and searching for one all of my life…now that I’ve found this family, I’ve learned that we have to take the Good with the Bad and just stay together – that’s what makes it all worthwhile and bearable. We’re all in this TOGETHER and together, there is nothing that we cannot overcome as a group. And what a wonderful group of people you all are!
It is said that Death happens in “3’s” – let’s hope that for now, the Storm has passed and all of us can begin the healing process. It has been so rough “out of the gate” so far for 2010. There are still so many chapters left to write this year – let us pray for our family that has left us so suddenly – and for the family that we still have in each other.
These thoughts were on my mind – and have been for several weeks. I needed to be able to express what I was feeling emotionally about what has all happened to our community.
Thank you for allowing me to be able to express those thoughts and feelings with you!
Melissa/Brant and Phoebe/Michael and Jenny/Mike:
You have all shown us the Courage and Bravery on how to live – and showed us the Grace and Dignity on how to pass on. My sincerest condolences to you and your families during this most difficult time in your lives. Just know that you and your partners made an impact and a real difference in everyone’s lives here on the Board.
With Love and Admiration to ALL of YOU
-Craig
Just like all of you, the grief and sorrow has been almost too much for words to convey what we are truly feeling, but it is what we have to express in some form the grief we are experiencing and the pain in each of our hearts.
We want so much to wish it all away, but it is not in our power to do so. We want to run away, but there is nowhere to hide. We have had to stand there and meet these difficult times head on with the grace and dignity that resides in each one of our hearts.
As badly as it hurts us, the families that are affected have been hurt more and it is for THEM, that we stand by everyday here to offer support and comfort to not only those families, but to all of us as well – Grief comes in many flavors, but as a community when one of Wins, WE all win – when one of us LOSES, then WE all lose.
During my time on this Board, I have learned quite a few things – about each other here and about the principles in Life that we all live by. I’ve never met a more incredible, supportive, and loving group of people in my entire life. All of YOU each day, show me the way and how it is done. Your strength, courage, and compassion is what the world needs right now – and in a big way.
It was not too long ago last year, that there were several deaths that occurred on the Board, one right after the other. I did not have the privilege of knowing these folks, but knew of their stories from hearing and reading about them from the Ol’Timers that knew them so closely and would speak of them.
I remember feeling sad for the folks that passes – it’s always sad to read about someone losing their battle with Cancer – it reminds us of how fragile that life can be – it jolts us to an awareness that this is REAL and the stakes are FOR KEEPS.
I remember mentioning in a post to the Ol’Timers of the board of how I empathized with them on the loss of their friends – but I did not have the emotional connection to them that the Ol’Timers did, and I felt so sad that they were hurting so badly with the loss of another family member.
Now, I’ve been around long enough to experience it first hand on what it’s like to lose someone who you’ve built a relationship and shared the SMILES and the TEARS with. It is a sense of loss that can never be replaced and there is a certain “denial” that nothing can happen to all of these good people, who are your friends.
Sadly, I know that it sometimes not true, but I suppose it’s a “Shield of Naivete” that I use so that my spirit won’t be crushed – I just cannot imagine this Board or my life without each of YOU in it. It is such a joy and comfort to come here and logon and look to see who’s here and what’s going on in “Our World.”
I’ve been asked by people, “Why do you stay on the Board?” “Why do you put yourself through all of the sad stories and heartbreak and loss?”
The ANSWER is simple – and I can say it in this phrase: “THEY are my friends – and I love them.”
And the other answer is there are good times here too and a lot of sharing and love – it comes in waves around here. We talk about our individual Cancer being the ‘rollercoaster’ but the Board is the same way. At any given moment, we are doing scans – waiting on results – scheduling surgeries – doing surgeries – having recurrences – going NED etc. etc.
Sometimes, this can all be very overwhelming – what this Board has taught me is that we have to HANG together - to advise, support, and love each other to the fullest of our abilities – that is what a FAMILY does. And that’s what makes our place so special and a big part of our lives.
Never really having a family, and searching for one all of my life…now that I’ve found this family, I’ve learned that we have to take the Good with the Bad and just stay together – that’s what makes it all worthwhile and bearable. We’re all in this TOGETHER and together, there is nothing that we cannot overcome as a group. And what a wonderful group of people you all are!
It is said that Death happens in “3’s” – let’s hope that for now, the Storm has passed and all of us can begin the healing process. It has been so rough “out of the gate” so far for 2010. There are still so many chapters left to write this year – let us pray for our family that has left us so suddenly – and for the family that we still have in each other.
These thoughts were on my mind – and have been for several weeks. I needed to be able to express what I was feeling emotionally about what has all happened to our community.
Thank you for allowing me to be able to express those thoughts and feelings with you!
Melissa/Brant and Phoebe/Michael and Jenny/Mike:
You have all shown us the Courage and Bravery on how to live – and showed us the Grace and Dignity on how to pass on. My sincerest condolences to you and your families during this most difficult time in your lives. Just know that you and your partners made an impact and a real difference in everyone’s lives here on the Board.
With Love and Admiration to ALL of YOU
-Craig
0
Comments
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Thank You Craig
Thank you for these healing words.
Peace and blessings... Rob; in Vancouver
“Life is short,and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us. So let us be swift to love, and let us make haste to show kindness.”
Henri Amiel0 -
Dear Craig,thank you very
Dear Craig,thank you very much for opening this post.Everytime when I know we lose somebody here,my feelings become so complicated and I just want to be a ostrich that buries head in the sand.I really became speechless and I don't know how to convey my feelings.Thank you for speaking out something that I didn't know how to express.Take care.0 -
I do okay until I see or
I do okay until I see or even think about 'Dry Socks and Warm Chow' and then my heart breaks anew.
We have so many who are so sick and it's so true that we have become such good friends. Colon cancer has made some odd bedfellows.
Until we meet in person.... Brant, Michael and Mike.... you fought well and you will be missed.0 -
Well said Craig
Sometimes it hard to find the words we want to say. It great to have a person who can put into words how we all feel about our lost and sadness. You are so right about us being a family, together we are strong and we work as a team. Even though we lost a few team members we grow stronger together as a team.
Great job Craig
Brooks0 -
thank you craig.. as i am
thank you craig.. as i am reading this the tears are falling and will not stop.this week i have stayed in bed and got up every hour to check the board. i was numb not sure if i could take coming to this board anymore and then not being able to stay away either.you put all my feelings in your post. i have made it the last 3 years with the support from everyone here and i did not want to give it up.. and now i dont have to i know what i was feeling and it was fear. i just needed to feel and get my feelings out and you helped me do this love always tammy0 -
Sad
This is just hard for all of us to deal with. Thank you Craig for such a great post (as usual). It is so hard to be a part of people's lives and then lose them. Wishing all the families God's healing grace and for comfort.
Kim0 -
Bearing Witness
Thank you so much Craig for your words. I was just telling my naturopath this afternoon why I treasure being a part of this discussion board. How in the times of sorrow, and in the times of rejoicing, we all experience the power of bearing witness. I feel blessed that my understanding of what exactly bearing witness means to others and to myself deepens and strengthens by being a part of this board. And for that feeling, there are no words.
my love to all of you,
Leslie0 -
Thank you Craiglesvanb said:Bearing Witness
Thank you so much Craig for your words. I was just telling my naturopath this afternoon why I treasure being a part of this discussion board. How in the times of sorrow, and in the times of rejoicing, we all experience the power of bearing witness. I feel blessed that my understanding of what exactly bearing witness means to others and to myself deepens and strengthens by being a part of this board. And for that feeling, there are no words.
my love to all of you,
Leslie
You have got a heart as "big as Texas". The emotion in your words came right off the screen and touched me. Thank you for saying what we are all feeling so eloquently. I do not have the way with words that you do and am happy to have you "speak" for me.
Blessings,
Joanne0 -
It hurts too much to read of sad news,JDuke said:Thank you Craig
You have got a heart as "big as Texas". The emotion in your words came right off the screen and touched me. Thank you for saying what we are all feeling so eloquently. I do not have the way with words that you do and am happy to have you "speak" for me.
Blessings,
Joanne
tho part of life, nonetheless its heartwrenching......Steve0 -
Thank you Craig for sharing
Thank you Craig for sharing these thoughts. Very eloquent and powerful. Maybe it's not a “Shield of Naivete.” Maybe it's a "Shield of Hope." I don't know. But I do know this: You've made the shield a bit stronger for me this morning. Thanks.
Peace,
Roger0 -
Tammytammy41 said:thank you craig.. as i am
thank you craig.. as i am reading this the tears are falling and will not stop.this week i have stayed in bed and got up every hour to check the board. i was numb not sure if i could take coming to this board anymore and then not being able to stay away either.you put all my feelings in your post. i have made it the last 3 years with the support from everyone here and i did not want to give it up.. and now i dont have to i know what i was feeling and it was fear. i just needed to feel and get my feelings out and you helped me do this love always tammy
WOW!
Tammy, that was so moving - over and over I read your post and it was so emotional hearing what you had to tell me.
I know it's been very hard around here these days - We are all being TESTED right now in what we feel and say - I believe that things will calm down here - it's just the cycle of life and it's been hard to see people suffer and feel the pain in everyone's hearts.
And PLEASE don't go away - continue to stay here with us - the good far outweighs the bad, that's for sure.
And I'm glad you were able to get your feelings out and that it helped - so glad I was able to be the catalyst to provide that release you so desperately needed. Judging from some of the other comments, several other folks echoed similiar sentiments...so I'm glad that my post could help some.
Emily goes by the Juice Chick - maybe I can be the Feelings Guy?
-Craig
The Feelings Guy0 -
I CouldCrow71 said:Thank you Craig for sharing
Thank you Craig for sharing these thoughts. Very eloquent and powerful. Maybe it's not a “Shield of Naivete.” Maybe it's a "Shield of Hope." I don't know. But I do know this: You've made the shield a bit stronger for me this morning. Thanks.
Peace,
Roger
Never leave my family here, we're all in this together. That was beautifully said, and I agree, have you ever though about being an author? lol...you write so beautifully.
You can be known as the "Feelings Guy" all you want, but you will always be my "Lion"
Amen to your post sweety!
Hugsss!
~Donna0 -
sundanceShayenne said:I Could
Never leave my family here, we're all in this together. That was beautifully said, and I agree, have you ever though about being an author? lol...you write so beautifully.
You can be known as the "Feelings Guy" all you want, but you will always be my "Lion"
Amen to your post sweety!
Hugsss!
~Donna
I love to read your post do you work ? If so I hope it is the writing field you rock.0 -
Lcarperlcarper2 said:sundance
I love to read your post do you work ? If so I hope it is the writing field you rock.
Yes - I do work - With the work I do, I get to write some technical documents, How To's and stuff like that.
But being able to write like I do here allows me the opportunity to write stuff from my heart and that's what I really enjoy.
These type of posts can just come to me and once I start, the words begin to flow like a river - I live and feel them as I write. They are very emotional to me and this apparently translates to the community.
By the time I'm done, I'm physically and emotionally drained - a little part of me dies with each post - but a little piece of me lives as well.
It makes me happy when the community reads them and posts back a reply.
I like to "knock on the door" to your heart - 'cause that where LIFE is
Thank you for your sweet comments - they really mean alot to me.
-Craig0 -
Tootstootsie1 said:Yes, we are a family
Craig,
Has anyone ever told you that you should be a writer? You have a marvelous way with words (and with feelings). Thank you for your eloquent post.
*hugs*
Gail
That's so sweet Gail
Many of you have told me this - looks like I missed my calling
Perhaps there will still be time in my life for me to do something about this. Writing does bring me the greatest joy!
At least I can share it with YOU
-Craig0 -
Great words of wisdomSundanceh said:Lcarper
Yes - I do work - With the work I do, I get to write some technical documents, How To's and stuff like that.
But being able to write like I do here allows me the opportunity to write stuff from my heart and that's what I really enjoy.
These type of posts can just come to me and once I start, the words begin to flow like a river - I live and feel them as I write. They are very emotional to me and this apparently translates to the community.
By the time I'm done, I'm physically and emotionally drained - a little part of me dies with each post - but a little piece of me lives as well.
It makes me happy when the community reads them and posts back a reply.
I like to "knock on the door" to your heart - 'cause that where LIFE is
Thank you for your sweet comments - they really mean alot to me.
-Craig
I haven't checked in for a few days, children and grandchildren come over every Friday night for family night and then yesterday was the first time my husband felt more like himself so we took a day trip. I regret it when I don't check in on the posts daily, yours was the first I opened and I am glad I did. You are right everyone here is like a large family. Everyone is so caring and it does hit hard when someone passes on. It does affect anyone who knew that person through this site. I pray for all of you and God Bless you for such a wonderful post.
Margaret0
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