Life and Death Here in “Our World”

There have been dark clouds hanging over our community this month. Like a storm that won’t pass, we’ve all been feeling this heaviness in our hearts as we check the Board each day, hoping for news that we don’t want to see, but fearing and knowing that we will.

Just like all of you, the grief and sorrow has been almost too much for words to convey what we are truly feeling, but it is what we have to express in some form the grief we are experiencing and the pain in each of our hearts.

We want so much to wish it all away, but it is not in our power to do so. We want to run away, but there is nowhere to hide. We have had to stand there and meet these difficult times head on with the grace and dignity that resides in each one of our hearts.

As badly as it hurts us, the families that are affected have been hurt more and it is for THEM, that we stand by everyday here to offer support and comfort to not only those families, but to all of us as well – Grief comes in many flavors, but as a community when one of Wins, WE all win – when one of us LOSES, then WE all lose.

During my time on this Board, I have learned quite a few things – about each other here and about the principles in Life that we all live by. I’ve never met a more incredible, supportive, and loving group of people in my entire life. All of YOU each day, show me the way and how it is done. Your strength, courage, and compassion is what the world needs right now – and in a big way.

It was not too long ago last year, that there were several deaths that occurred on the Board, one right after the other. I did not have the privilege of knowing these folks, but knew of their stories from hearing and reading about them from the Ol’Timers that knew them so closely and would speak of them.

I remember feeling sad for the folks that passes – it’s always sad to read about someone losing their battle with Cancer – it reminds us of how fragile that life can be – it jolts us to an awareness that this is REAL and the stakes are FOR KEEPS.

I remember mentioning in a post to the Ol’Timers of the board of how I empathized with them on the loss of their friends – but I did not have the emotional connection to them that the Ol’Timers did, and I felt so sad that they were hurting so badly with the loss of another family member.

Now, I’ve been around long enough to experience it first hand on what it’s like to lose someone who you’ve built a relationship and shared the SMILES and the TEARS with. It is a sense of loss that can never be replaced and there is a certain “denial” that nothing can happen to all of these good people, who are your friends.

Sadly, I know that it sometimes not true, but I suppose it’s a “Shield of Naivete” that I use so that my spirit won’t be crushed – I just cannot imagine this Board or my life without each of YOU in it. It is such a joy and comfort to come here and logon and look to see who’s here and what’s going on in “Our World.”

I’ve been asked by people, “Why do you stay on the Board?” “Why do you put yourself through all of the sad stories and heartbreak and loss?”

The ANSWER is simple – and I can say it in this phrase: “THEY are my friends – and I love them.”

And the other answer is there are good times here too and a lot of sharing and love – it comes in waves around here. We talk about our individual Cancer being the ‘rollercoaster’ but the Board is the same way. At any given moment, we are doing scans – waiting on results – scheduling surgeries – doing surgeries – having recurrences – going NED etc. etc.

Sometimes, this can all be very overwhelming – what this Board has taught me is that we have to HANG together - to advise, support, and love each other to the fullest of our abilities – that is what a FAMILY does. And that’s what makes our place so special and a big part of our lives.

Never really having a family, and searching for one all of my life…now that I’ve found this family, I’ve learned that we have to take the Good with the Bad and just stay together – that’s what makes it all worthwhile and bearable. We’re all in this TOGETHER and together, there is nothing that we cannot overcome as a group. And what a wonderful group of people you all are!

It is said that Death happens in “3’s” – let’s hope that for now, the Storm has passed and all of us can begin the healing process. It has been so rough “out of the gate” so far for 2010. There are still so many chapters left to write this year – let us pray for our family that has left us so suddenly – and for the family that we still have in each other.

These thoughts were on my mind – and have been for several weeks. I needed to be able to express what I was feeling emotionally about what has all happened to our community.

Thank you for allowing me to be able to express those thoughts and feelings with you!

Melissa/Brant and Phoebe/Michael and Jenny/Mike:
You have all shown us the Courage and Bravery on how to live – and showed us the Grace and Dignity on how to pass on. My sincerest condolences to you and your families during this most difficult time in your lives. Just know that you and your partners made an impact and a real difference in everyone’s lives here on the Board.

With Love and Admiration to ALL of YOU

-Craig