stress doubled??.. and going thru chemo :(

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2

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  • Whoknowz
    Whoknowz Member Posts: 82
    #22
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    newbiefromcananda said:

    ****!!
    well things blew up... my parents left on bad terms.. my kids are upset.. my husband took his wedding ring off and told me he doesn't like me anymore... I am bald...stressed and soooo hurt.... I just want to leave ..but I have no where to go :( Iam I not suppose to be stress free... yeah right ...I know my parents were here for me but it just got to be to much... i understand... but I just feel spoooo bad :(:(

    Wish I could give you a big hug
    There's not much to say that hasn't been said. It's a horrible situation, and people who make this about themselves rather than you need a kick in the rear. Be sure to get your feelings out, don't try to hold anything in. If you don't have anyone physically there sane enough to talk this thru with, does your onc's office have a social worker? A neutral ear can be helpful.

    In the meantime, lots of hugs and prayers to you

    Angela
  • marywest
    marywest Member Posts: 132
    #23
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    newbiefromcananda said:

    thanks everyone...I know...I
    thanks everyone...I know...I just want to cry sometimes but feel like I am not doing well if I do> weird eh? thankyou so much and I know my sisters are right here with me love, hugs & well wishes to ALL of you xoxoxoxoox Lisa

    people can be draining
    Feelings get real wierd being on chemo. I found it extreemly exhausting to have people around me except my daughter who moved from Hawaii to come live with me when I was diagnoised. Feelings and emotions are magnified, the chemo is doing its job but also causes emotional and physcial side affects. I was real short tempered around people and my family. they would come over constantly, meaning well, but I wasn't up for visits and we finaly put our foot down and said always call before you come over and if I am awake and up for company you come visit. My husband works on a ship so he was never around. My heart really goes out to you, I want to protect you so bad from being hurt. I am praying your husband has a big change of heart and puts you first. It takes adjustment and not one we want but losing our hair, and being on chemo is the pits, but its temporary, it will be over with, cancer is being killed, and you will get through this. Please do something nice for yourself, be around someone who is there to love you and let you talk, cry and laugh. it took another adjustment on letting yourself cry, good thing is it doesn't last, but there is a need to release those emotions especialy when they spring up on you. Please let me know how today went for you and how your feeling now. So many people care for you, your precious and beautiful.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #24
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    carkris said:

    I think people get
    I think people get frightened and they try so hard to keep it the same as it always was. Even though it isn't. People dont always listen either and they want to help you in the way they think is best not the way you need. I am so sorry you are dealing with this you are an awesome person and dont need this. Once people cool off and have time to think I thn they will settle and hopefully this blowup can lead to better communication. Everyone is like a deer in the headlights, nothing teaches you how to deal with this. BIG HUGS!!!

    How is it going today Lisa?

    How is it going today Lisa?
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #25
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    carkris said:

    How is it going today Lisa?

    How is it going today Lisa?

    (((((((((((( Lisa ))))))))))))
    Sending you a big hug Lisa! Hoping today is better for you!


    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #26
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    susie09 said:

    (((((((((((( Lisa ))))))))))))
    Sending you a big hug Lisa! Hoping today is better for you!


    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣

    hello everyone
    hi to all my "best sisters"my girlfriend and her daughter showed up at my house last night with funny movies, chips amd dip! I called my parents and told them I appreciated everything they have done so far for me.. I was sorry that things "blew up" but I love them and I think we all need a "much needed break" as for my husband... well he slep alone last night :) today he is kissing my #### sorry for that but I just realized I can't worry about Little stuff ... things that use to bother me isn't going to get to me now... also I was o stressed about christmas ... less $ less gifts for the kids ( I didn't care about having a gift under the tree or not) its all about my children... anyway my social worker (from the cancer centre) called today and was given a couple hundred dollars and a few gifts for me for christmas..can u believe that thank you again to all of you for well wishes and wisdom.. I can't believe my stress levels have been so high.. I can chalk it up to being bald... and having hot flushes and every other side effect I have been getting... again thank you ((((hugs, love and kisses)xoxoxoxoxo happy holidays....love always lisa xoxoxooxox
  • Mama G
    Mama G Member Posts: 762
    #27
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    newbiefromcananda said:

    hello everyone
    hi to all my "best sisters"my girlfriend and her daughter showed up at my house last night with funny movies, chips amd dip! I called my parents and told them I appreciated everything they have done so far for me.. I was sorry that things "blew up" but I love them and I think we all need a "much needed break" as for my husband... well he slep alone last night :) today he is kissing my #### sorry for that but I just realized I can't worry about Little stuff ... things that use to bother me isn't going to get to me now... also I was o stressed about christmas ... less $ less gifts for the kids ( I didn't care about having a gift under the tree or not) its all about my children... anyway my social worker (from the cancer centre) called today and was given a couple hundred dollars and a few gifts for me for christmas..can u believe that thank you again to all of you for well wishes and wisdom.. I can't believe my stress levels have been so high.. I can chalk it up to being bald... and having hot flushes and every other side effect I have been getting... again thank you ((((hugs, love and kisses)xoxoxoxoxo happy holidays....love always lisa xoxoxooxox

    Glad things got a little better...
    I especially like the part where hubby had to kiss @%$$. hahaha So nice that the cancer centre was so good to you!!! Merry Christmas Darlin~ try to have as good a time as you can, my dear. I go for chemo tomorrow, so I'll probably be pretty tired on Christmas day.
    Just gotta deal with it and hope it's all a memory next year. We all have to keep in touch and pray for each other...We can do this!
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #28
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    Mama G said:

    Glad things got a little better...
    I especially like the part where hubby had to kiss @%$$. hahaha So nice that the cancer centre was so good to you!!! Merry Christmas Darlin~ try to have as good a time as you can, my dear. I go for chemo tomorrow, so I'll probably be pretty tired on Christmas day.
    Just gotta deal with it and hope it's all a memory next year. We all have to keep in touch and pray for each other...We can do this!

    glad things are better I was
    glad things are better I was worried about you . My first time around when I was 34 My sister in law was talking about me behind my back at my daughters first birthday party. "I dont call her she's too negative" amongst other things. She got my husband mad a t me. I felt so alone and got in my car and went down to the water front and cried. My husband and I learned from that and I dont have a good relationship with my sister in law. But people need to understand
    what you are going through. I told my husband when I was rediagnosed that yes it was going to be about me for a while. He said I have not been as b....y as he though I might be.
    Anyway I know that feeling of not being understood and frustrated and am glad you straightended it right out.
    I have chemo the 24th but usually I am hyper from the decadron so am hoping I will actually feel ok. hope you feel ok mama g
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #29
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    newbiefromcananda said:

    hello everyone
    hi to all my "best sisters"my girlfriend and her daughter showed up at my house last night with funny movies, chips amd dip! I called my parents and told them I appreciated everything they have done so far for me.. I was sorry that things "blew up" but I love them and I think we all need a "much needed break" as for my husband... well he slep alone last night :) today he is kissing my #### sorry for that but I just realized I can't worry about Little stuff ... things that use to bother me isn't going to get to me now... also I was o stressed about christmas ... less $ less gifts for the kids ( I didn't care about having a gift under the tree or not) its all about my children... anyway my social worker (from the cancer centre) called today and was given a couple hundred dollars and a few gifts for me for christmas..can u believe that thank you again to all of you for well wishes and wisdom.. I can't believe my stress levels have been so high.. I can chalk it up to being bald... and having hot flushes and every other side effect I have been getting... again thank you ((((hugs, love and kisses)xoxoxoxoxo happy holidays....love always lisa xoxoxooxox

    Lisa... so glad that your
    Lisa... so glad that your friend showed up... sometimes that is exactly what the doctor should order... It sounds like they brought your spirits up so glad... and I think it serves him right and a night sleeping alone usually does the trick and creates the *(&* kissing ... "I want out of the dog house" plea... lol

    Have a wonderful holiday... try to enjoy it as best you can...

    You too mamag

    Hugs,

    ~T
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #30
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    taleena said:

    Lisa... so glad that your
    Lisa... so glad that your friend showed up... sometimes that is exactly what the doctor should order... It sounds like they brought your spirits up so glad... and I think it serves him right and a night sleeping alone usually does the trick and creates the *(&* kissing ... "I want out of the dog house" plea... lol

    Have a wonderful holiday... try to enjoy it as best you can...

    You too mamag

    Hugs,

    ~T

    I am so glad everything
    I am so glad everything turned out well. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #31
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    meena1 said:

    I am so glad everything
    I am so glad everything turned out well. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!

    thank you meena same to you
    thank you meena same to you xoxoxo
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #32
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    meena1 said:

    I am so glad everything
    I am so glad everything turned out well. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!

    Lisa, My heart goes out to you and your family
    What a wild ride .. family and all. My kids and husband at times, want to take me to the nearest bus terminal and send me to the East coast. With my many moods swings and multiple personalities, they will not spend the $$$ to buy me an airline ticket, just bus fare.

    Cancer sucks, it take it's toll on our home life, marriage and general outlook. When we are told that we will have to endure 4 or 6 rounds of chemo treatments - we are not told that our world as we know it, will be turned upside down. No one mentions the gross side efforts, hair loss, fatigue, mouth/nose sores along with weight gain like it's no BIG deal. However, day after day - week after week, we fight to stay strong, we fight to look good, even tho, we have NO hair .. hats and scarves lose their appeal .. Sanity .. I fight daily .. My thoughts .. If we have a bad day, we smile - crying silently -- not to upset anyone living with us.......

    So if every once in a while, we have a melt down, scream fest or hate our spouse -- SO BE IT. If we need a few days to ourselves, Go for it .. don't feel guilty.

    Breast cancer and chemo treatments have taken the last 22 weeks from me .. and I refuse to be a victim of zapped energy and mild depression.

    I drove for the first time today .. down to our local supermaket, First time in 16 weeks.

    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa ... Be GOOD to yourself, and remember it's all about us .. because we are the ones ... fighting breast cancer !!!!


    VickiSam
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #33
    Options
    taleena said:

    Lisa... so glad that your
    Lisa... so glad that your friend showed up... sometimes that is exactly what the doctor should order... It sounds like they brought your spirits up so glad... and I think it serves him right and a night sleeping alone usually does the trick and creates the *(&* kissing ... "I want out of the dog house" plea... lol

    Have a wonderful holiday... try to enjoy it as best you can...

    You too mamag

    Hugs,

    ~T

    thanks T I hope you ar
    thanks T I hope you ar feeling better I am thinking of you xoxxoxo Lisa
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #34
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    carkris said:

    glad things are better I was
    glad things are better I was worried about you . My first time around when I was 34 My sister in law was talking about me behind my back at my daughters first birthday party. "I dont call her she's too negative" amongst other things. She got my husband mad a t me. I felt so alone and got in my car and went down to the water front and cried. My husband and I learned from that and I dont have a good relationship with my sister in law. But people need to understand
    what you are going through. I told my husband when I was rediagnosed that yes it was going to be about me for a while. He said I have not been as b....y as he though I might be.
    Anyway I know that feeling of not being understood and frustrated and am glad you straightended it right out.
    I have chemo the 24th but usually I am hyper from the decadron so am hoping I will actually feel ok. hope you feel ok mama g

    thank you carkris xoxox I am
    thank you carkris xoxox I am glad you will be on steroids on the 25th still lol merry christmas xoxo
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #35
    Options
    Mama G said:

    Glad things got a little better...
    I especially like the part where hubby had to kiss @%$$. hahaha So nice that the cancer centre was so good to you!!! Merry Christmas Darlin~ try to have as good a time as you can, my dear. I go for chemo tomorrow, so I'll probably be pretty tired on Christmas day.
    Just gotta deal with it and hope it's all a memory next year. We all have to keep in touch and pray for each other...We can do this!

    thank mama G ( I love the
    thank mama G ( I love the profile pic by the way)I will surely treausure christmas this year and next and the year after that and so till I am 89...(or older) lol merry christmas to you too xoxoxoxo (((big Hugs))) xoxoxoxo Lisa
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #36
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    VickiSam said:

    Lisa, My heart goes out to you and your family
    What a wild ride .. family and all. My kids and husband at times, want to take me to the nearest bus terminal and send me to the East coast. With my many moods swings and multiple personalities, they will not spend the $$$ to buy me an airline ticket, just bus fare.

    Cancer sucks, it take it's toll on our home life, marriage and general outlook. When we are told that we will have to endure 4 or 6 rounds of chemo treatments - we are not told that our world as we know it, will be turned upside down. No one mentions the gross side efforts, hair loss, fatigue, mouth/nose sores along with weight gain like it's no BIG deal. However, day after day - week after week, we fight to stay strong, we fight to look good, even tho, we have NO hair .. hats and scarves lose their appeal .. Sanity .. I fight daily .. My thoughts .. If we have a bad day, we smile - crying silently -- not to upset anyone living with us.......

    So if every once in a while, we have a melt down, scream fest or hate our spouse -- SO BE IT. If we need a few days to ourselves, Go for it .. don't feel guilty.

    Breast cancer and chemo treatments have taken the last 22 weeks from me .. and I refuse to be a victim of zapped energy and mild depression.

    I drove for the first time today .. down to our local supermaket, First time in 16 weeks.

    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa ... Be GOOD to yourself, and remember it's all about us .. because we are the ones ... fighting breast cancer !!!!


    VickiSam

    wow vickiSam you always
    wow vickiSam you always seem to know what to say...(and everyone else on here) you really put things in perspective... I know it sounds odd but its nice to know that others have gone thru or are going thru the same thing you are ?? weird eh? its almost like saying "I am glad you are sick too"well if your family does decide to put you on a bus and you haven't ever visited Canada I have a spare room! lol well I think all the dr's should get 2 gether and start off by saying ok you have cancer and not only are you going to lose your hair ... your mind.. your patience... but also your family will have a difficult time.. your dog will look at you funny... your husband maybe an *** at times.. you will cry for no apparant reason... your income will be less...etc dn't you think!!! thanks again everyonexoxoxoxoxoxoxo merry christmas xxxxooooo...Lisa
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #37
    Options
    VickiSam said:

    Lisa, My heart goes out to you and your family
    What a wild ride .. family and all. My kids and husband at times, want to take me to the nearest bus terminal and send me to the East coast. With my many moods swings and multiple personalities, they will not spend the $$$ to buy me an airline ticket, just bus fare.

    Cancer sucks, it take it's toll on our home life, marriage and general outlook. When we are told that we will have to endure 4 or 6 rounds of chemo treatments - we are not told that our world as we know it, will be turned upside down. No one mentions the gross side efforts, hair loss, fatigue, mouth/nose sores along with weight gain like it's no BIG deal. However, day after day - week after week, we fight to stay strong, we fight to look good, even tho, we have NO hair .. hats and scarves lose their appeal .. Sanity .. I fight daily .. My thoughts .. If we have a bad day, we smile - crying silently -- not to upset anyone living with us.......

    So if every once in a while, we have a melt down, scream fest or hate our spouse -- SO BE IT. If we need a few days to ourselves, Go for it .. don't feel guilty.

    Breast cancer and chemo treatments have taken the last 22 weeks from me .. and I refuse to be a victim of zapped energy and mild depression.

    I drove for the first time today .. down to our local supermaket, First time in 16 weeks.

    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa ... Be GOOD to yourself, and remember it's all about us .. because we are the ones ... fighting breast cancer !!!!


    VickiSam

    wow vickiSam you always
    wow vickiSam you always seem to know what to say...(and everyone else on here) you really put things in perspective... I know it sounds odd but its nice to know that others have gone thru or are going thru the same thing you are ?? weird eh? its almost like saying "I am glad you are sick too"well if your family does decide to put you on a bus and you haven't ever visited Canada I have a spare room! lol well I think all the dr's should get 2 gether and start off by saying ok you have cancer and not only are you going to lose your hair ... your mind.. your patience... but also your family will have a difficult time.. your dog will look at you funny... your husband maybe an *** at times.. you will cry for no apparant reason... your income will be less...etc dn't you think!!! thanks again everyonexoxoxoxoxoxoxo merry christmas xxxxooooo...Lisa
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
    #38
    Options
    VickiSam said:

    Lisa, My heart goes out to you and your family
    What a wild ride .. family and all. My kids and husband at times, want to take me to the nearest bus terminal and send me to the East coast. With my many moods swings and multiple personalities, they will not spend the $$$ to buy me an airline ticket, just bus fare.

    Cancer sucks, it take it's toll on our home life, marriage and general outlook. When we are told that we will have to endure 4 or 6 rounds of chemo treatments - we are not told that our world as we know it, will be turned upside down. No one mentions the gross side efforts, hair loss, fatigue, mouth/nose sores along with weight gain like it's no BIG deal. However, day after day - week after week, we fight to stay strong, we fight to look good, even tho, we have NO hair .. hats and scarves lose their appeal .. Sanity .. I fight daily .. My thoughts .. If we have a bad day, we smile - crying silently -- not to upset anyone living with us.......

    So if every once in a while, we have a melt down, scream fest or hate our spouse -- SO BE IT. If we need a few days to ourselves, Go for it .. don't feel guilty.

    Breast cancer and chemo treatments have taken the last 22 weeks from me .. and I refuse to be a victim of zapped energy and mild depression.

    I drove for the first time today .. down to our local supermaket, First time in 16 weeks.

    Lisa, Lisa, Lisa ... Be GOOD to yourself, and remember it's all about us .. because we are the ones ... fighting breast cancer !!!!


    VickiSam

    wow vickiSam you always
    wow vickiSam you always seem to know what to say...(and everyone else on here) you really put things in perspective... I know it sounds odd but its nice to know that others have gone thru or are going thru the same thing you are ?? weird eh? its almost like saying "I am glad you are sick too"well if your family does decide to put you on a bus and you haven't ever visited Canada I have a spare room! lol well I think all the dr's should get 2 gether and start off by saying ok you have cancer and not only are you going to lose your hair ... your mind.. your patience... but also your family will have a difficult time.. your dog will look at you funny... your husband maybe an *** at times.. you will cry for no apparant reason... your income will be less...etc dn't you think!!! thanks again everyonexoxoxoxoxoxoxo merry christmas xxxxooooo...Lisa
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #39
    Options
    Lisa stress definitely is not helping
    you to go through chemo. You should not deal with disappointments and everyone in your family needs to understand the importance of peace and positive energy in your house. My family is not exception, and I often have to remind everyone thatI do not need to deal with negative energy at home and is is not healthy for me to be upset or feel nervous. They actually listen and have been adjusting accordantly. Please do not feel crazy, speak up and ask for help fighting cancer in peaceful and positive environment.
    Yes, It is a Christmas time!!!!
    New Flower
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #40
    Options
    newbiefromcananda said:

    hello everyone
    hi to all my "best sisters"my girlfriend and her daughter showed up at my house last night with funny movies, chips amd dip! I called my parents and told them I appreciated everything they have done so far for me.. I was sorry that things "blew up" but I love them and I think we all need a "much needed break" as for my husband... well he slep alone last night :) today he is kissing my #### sorry for that but I just realized I can't worry about Little stuff ... things that use to bother me isn't going to get to me now... also I was o stressed about christmas ... less $ less gifts for the kids ( I didn't care about having a gift under the tree or not) its all about my children... anyway my social worker (from the cancer centre) called today and was given a couple hundred dollars and a few gifts for me for christmas..can u believe that thank you again to all of you for well wishes and wisdom.. I can't believe my stress levels have been so high.. I can chalk it up to being bald... and having hot flushes and every other side effect I have been getting... again thank you ((((hugs, love and kisses)xoxoxoxoxo happy holidays....love always lisa xoxoxooxox

    Lisa
    It is true that all of
    Lisa
    It is true that all of this can induce menopausal moments. So glad that you talked with your parents. And as for hubby he should be kissing your A55 big time. I am sure he spoke in a moment of stress also but who is the one with the cancer. Yeah, that would be you. I know what you mean about the kids at Christmas and isn't it lovely that the social worker angel stepped in. You never know where your blessing might come from. It is a tough time with the economy anyway and add to that cancer, treatment and who wouldn't go on overload. After the holidays maybe you should sit down with the kids and explain that some things might be different or change during this time but that when you are done with treatments and feeling more yourself things will normalize. Just emphasize that this is going to take time, maybe a lot of time. But that you love them and you are doing everything in your power to see to it that you are well and healthy for all the great Christmas's to come. Glad you are feeling better and know that we are here for you.
    Stef
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #41
    Options
    newbiefromcananda said:

    wow vickiSam you always
    wow vickiSam you always seem to know what to say...(and everyone else on here) you really put things in perspective... I know it sounds odd but its nice to know that others have gone thru or are going thru the same thing you are ?? weird eh? its almost like saying "I am glad you are sick too"well if your family does decide to put you on a bus and you haven't ever visited Canada I have a spare room! lol well I think all the dr's should get 2 gether and start off by saying ok you have cancer and not only are you going to lose your hair ... your mind.. your patience... but also your family will have a difficult time.. your dog will look at you funny... your husband maybe an *** at times.. you will cry for no apparant reason... your income will be less...etc dn't you think!!! thanks again everyonexoxoxoxoxoxoxo merry christmas xxxxooooo...Lisa

    Lisa, I'm just reading all
    Lisa, I'm just reading all your posts. Oof! to be grateful that chemo was in spring and rads in the fall for me ! Just know that you are normal going through the most abnormal of times and that it really sounds like you have family and friends who love you in their human, imperfect ways. One day you will be looking BACK at all this, and isn't that a good thing to know? xoxoxoxo Lynn

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