Newbies - introduce yourselves

Wolfi

Victoria1566 said:

Hello
I'm new too. Had one of the worst summers of my life! Diagnosed in June and surgery in July, but the good news is that based on all the tests I did not have to have chemo!

Unfortunately, it isn't over. My two daughters suffered along with me this summer and we all made it through but we are changed. My husband had died of leukemia in 2000 when my girls were 10 and 5, and during his battle with cancer I very much felt that I was the rock everybody was clinging to. This summer that rock got very shakey and my girls are still feeling the effects. After my husband's death, I was diagnosed with post tramatic stress disorder and now I see signs of PTSD in my children. So, I am plugging away, with a happy face on, trying to get their world back to a secure normal.

Honestly, this site has helped me. Not only do I have the opportunity to vent my fears, but it also reminds me how lucky I really am; my cancer could have been so much worse! Also, it feels good to be on the giving end of advice and support, rather than having family and friends look at me with pity and offers of, "If there is anything I can do..."

Thanks.

"If there is anything I can do..."
Victoria,

I'm beginning to dislike that phrase. I've found since I was diagnosed with bc that the people who say "If there is anything I can do...." have been the ones that I can count on the least. There have been a few (three) people I work with who just jumped in and DID something without asking. They visited me when I was home for a month, brought food for me and my family (so we didn't have to think about cooking), brought magazines, books and movies, and just stayed to "chat" with me. They looked into me and could tell when I was getting tired so they didn't overstay their welcome even though I (lied) and told them I wasn't too tired.

My sister-in-law lives pretty close to us and has said "If there is anything we can do...." but has yet to do anything. She is one who always offers to watch her sister's kids or make food for people who are sick, but she didn't extend those things to me or my family. My own mother has yet to call or visit me since my diagnosis. She sent a card that said "If I could go through this for you, I would." Thanks - nice thought, but that doesn't REALLY help.

A friend of mine has also asked to help but when I told her that some rides to and from radiation would be helpful she made it clear that it would be a disruption to her family life to take me in the mornings (and it isn't a disruption to my family life?). I've quit asking her for any assistance.

Wolfi

helen e said:

New in September
I am 44, married with 2 kids, girl 14 & boy 12 both athletes. I have a very close family. 2 sisters live near and a sister & 2 brothers in another state. Dad is visiting and mom is too sick to come from another state. I get calls everyday from them. I also teach special education to middle school kids. The building I work in is a family, they send home dinners so I don't have to cook and tell me to just get well and not to worry.

I had a mammogram on 9/2 and they found a lump. Biopsy 2 days later - invasive ductal carcinoma, aggressive. 1.8 cm lump (stage 1) removed on 10/2 - centinel node biopsy clean. ER+, Her2nu -. All good. Only during surgery found more cancer spots in the duct. Now they want to do a mastectomy because chance for recurrence is 30-40%, even with radiation & chemo. I was floored by this now cancer takes on a whole meaning for me as a woman. Am having trouble trying to deal with this, any suggestions?

I love this site already. Have tried another and came back here, just not the same. Everyone is so sincere, compassionate, and helpful. I have been blessed to find this site. Thanks to everyone for their support, I have a feeling I will be needing it soon.

Helen

Dealing with bc
Helen,

Unfortunately there are no "quick fixes" for dealing with bc and all you and your family have to go through. It has been five months for me and I still have some VERY bad days. I am currently going through radiation treatments and am exhausted. I figured I should be stronger than this, but the technicians told me it is normal and not to expect too much from myself right now. I have to learn how to slow down and not try to work full time at this point.

Accept help whenever it is offered (sounds like your co-workers and family are a big help). I didn't think that getting meals brought to my house was a big deal until I was recovering from surgery (bilateral mastectomy) and I noticed how good it was for my husband and kids to not have to worry about making food.

Keep posting here and talk about anything. It has helped me a great deal to get questions answered, encouragement from others who have gone through the same things, and just support from people who care. This is my favorite bc site.

Wolfi

kathyrcady said:

newbe
Hi everyone. I am a newbe, Iv done a little posting but was off line for a while. My name is kathy, I am 55 and was diagnosed with breast ca.sept 17th. I went for my lumpectomy yesterday and still have a tight binder on. I will be taking it off tomorro' I have not seen a med onch, or radiation man yet. My nodes were neg, and my dr. said she got clean margins with my surgery.I love this discussion site and have learned so much from it. sorry if I posted in the wrong place. my thanks to everyone for being there, and I wish everyone the best

Nodes and margins
Kathy,

Negative nodes and clean margins are a good thing! Congratulations.

Keep us posted on your treatment and ask any questions you may have. There are a lot of people here who have been through it.

Take care.

ata2d

cheyennedawn said:

Hi, my name is Deana. I am
Hi, my name is Deana. I am 35 years old. I was DX with a phyllodes tumor of my left breast and had a mastectomty with lymph node removal on August 12, 2009. I didn't have to go through any further treatments. I have been trying to move on from this, just don't know how to do that. I was fine while I was going through all of this, the dx, 2 surgeries (had a partial mastectomy on July 31), and just trying to recover physically. Now, 2 months after my surgery, I am not fine. Physically yes, but not emotionally. My doctor prescribed some anti-depressants, and I am taking them, but I really hate the way they make me feel. I don't understand why I am feeling this way. I am fine, no sign of cancer, but I am so depressed! I know I am not the only one going through anything, and I feel guilty for these feelings, there is so many people out there that is going through much, much worse! But, this site has helped me more than anything. I don't post much, but I read alot. It helps to feel connected to women with the same problems. Thanks for the introduction pitt! This is really a great site.

i totally understand
I feel the same way while I was going through chemo and all of my surgeries and recovery I was way more positive and hopeful then I am now. I was 38 and dx with stage 3b had 18 surgeries and 8 rounds of chemo in 18 months I am now back to work but the bills are overwhelming. And I feel like every ache or twinge the cancer is back. I know I should be happy to be alive but I feel like living in the shadow of cancer is hard. Sorry for being a downer but I hope u stay strong and can find the strength to enjoy life

ata2d

cheyennedawn said:

Hi, my name is Deana. I am
Hi, my name is Deana. I am 35 years old. I was DX with a phyllodes tumor of my left breast and had a mastectomty with lymph node removal on August 12, 2009. I didn't have to go through any further treatments. I have been trying to move on from this, just don't know how to do that. I was fine while I was going through all of this, the dx, 2 surgeries (had a partial mastectomy on July 31), and just trying to recover physically. Now, 2 months after my surgery, I am not fine. Physically yes, but not emotionally. My doctor prescribed some anti-depressants, and I am taking them, but I really hate the way they make me feel. I don't understand why I am feeling this way. I am fine, no sign of cancer, but I am so depressed! I know I am not the only one going through anything, and I feel guilty for these feelings, there is so many people out there that is going through much, much worse! But, this site has helped me more than anything. I don't post much, but I read alot. It helps to feel connected to women with the same problems. Thanks for the introduction pitt! This is really a great site.

i totally understand
I feel the same way while I was going through chemo and all of my surgeries and recovery I was way more positive and hopeful then I am now. I was 38 and dx with stage 3b had 18 surgeries and 8 rounds of chemo in 18 months I am now back to work but the bills are overwhelming. And I feel like every ache or twinge the cancer is back. I know I should be happy to be alive but I feel like living in the shadow of cancer is hard. Sorry for being a downer but I hope u stay strong and can find the strength to enjoy life

LindaJo59

Another Newbie!
Hi all, I am LindaJo. Diagnosed a month ago today with breast cancer, go figure.... Have been thru a month of being poked and proded and my 1st round of AC, 2nd round coming up on Friday. The 1st round has been without complaint. Treatment plan is 4 rounds then surgery followed by 4 rounds of T. Seem to have developed cellulitis at the lymph node biopsy surgical site, oral ABX and a sore armpit! I will win this war!

Cat64

LindaJo59 said:

Another Newbie!
Hi all, I am LindaJo. Diagnosed a month ago today with breast cancer, go figure.... Have been thru a month of being poked and proded and my 1st round of AC, 2nd round coming up on Friday. The 1st round has been without complaint. Treatment plan is 4 rounds then surgery followed by 4 rounds of T. Seem to have developed cellulitis at the lymph node biopsy surgical site, oral ABX and a sore armpit! I will win this war!

Hi LindaJo
Welcome! Although sorry for your reason. You have come to the right place to find comfort,understanding,hope,strength,& advice to help you win this battle. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Feel free to post if you have any questions or just need to vent!
Hugz,
Cathy

aurora2009

Akiss4me said:

Great idea Pitt
I just wanted to introduce myself and welcome all the newcomers. I usually do this on an individual basis, but just had another surgery and have gotten behind. Sooooo, "welcome". I look forward to talking with you all. Post often, anytime and for any reason.. Someone is usually around 24/7. Please do not feel I am ignoring you if I do not respond to all your post, although I love to talk, I am having a difficult time here lately. But should be back to myself soon. It would have been almost impossible to get through my journey without everyone here to walk with me. I have an awesome family that has been by my side not only in my home, but in cyberspace as well. This board has become the cornerstone of my recovery and I hope it helps all of you as much. ♥Pammy

I agree Pammy
Hi everyone I am also not new to the boards, but have been away for awhile, I'm on the last 4 treatments of rad's and they are really taking a toll on me. I guess it's more because I'm working about 35 hours a week as well. But enough about me....

Pitt this was a great idea, there are so many new comers on here that I would never be able to catch up,

So to all of you that I haven't had a chance to welcome personally "Welcome" you will find great support from people who are going through what you are, or people who have already been there. I know I would could not of made it with out the couragous women and men on these boards. Good luck to all of you who have just began your journry. As you can see, it is different for all of us, but what we all have in common is that we are not alone, and we can get through this with a little help from our sisters here in pink.

God Bless you all,
Aurora

kathyrcady

expresslove said:

hello!!
Hello, well I am a newbie as well and haven't really posted very much, but am trying to do this more often because it helps me. I have been using this website for about two weeks now. I am 21 years old and have been diagnosed with a phyllodes tumor in my left breast. So far I have gone through a lumpectomy and am about to have another surgery this Friday. I am currently in a limbo because I am waiting for the results of my chest x rays, and I still don't know if I will have to undergo more surgery on my breast after this Friday or what. Waiting has been the hardest part of the journey. Its been over a month from the first time I went in about a lump. I am trying to do the best I can and lead a regular life (not at home with my parents but with my roommates etc.) I try to keep myself smiling, maintaining strength and loving my life. My biggest goal is to graduate in the Spring! If not, at least walk during the ceremony.
-Expresslove
Also, I am having a hard time talking about it and telling people in my life about what is going on. I find it easier to tell people over the phone, but haven't really done it in person. any advice? Its hard because I wont want to make people worry about me.
Thank you for the chance to introduce myself!

telling people
Hi , I just wanted to say, when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer i didnt want to tell anyone either for fear of people worrying and feeling pity for me' lucky for me I have a great boss who also went through breast cancer, and she convinced me to share with others. I had already told mt family and good friends but was not sure about the coworker thing. Let mr tell ya I have recieved so much support, and I am not the kind of person that likes to lean on others. I am so glad I didnt keep it a secreat' most people will respect your need for privacy ,and back off when you need them to. I understand how you feel and hope you make a decision thats right for you, best wishes ,kathy

kathyrcady

Wolfi said:

Nodes and margins
Kathy,

Negative nodes and clean margins are a good thing! Congratulations.

Keep us posted on your treatment and ask any questions you may have. There are a lot of people here who have been through it.

Take care.

wolfie,,thank you so much
wolfie,,thank you so much for the kind words,,it means a lot when you are trying to recover,, I go next fri for follow up with my surgeon and Im sure she will refere me to a medical and radiation onch. hope you are having a great weekend kathy

Akiss4me

aurora2009 said:

I agree Pammy
Hi everyone I am also not new to the boards, but have been away for awhile, I'm on the last 4 treatments of rad's and they are really taking a toll on me. I guess it's more because I'm working about 35 hours a week as well. But enough about me....

Pitt this was a great idea, there are so many new comers on here that I would never be able to catch up,

So to all of you that I haven't had a chance to welcome personally "Welcome" you will find great support from people who are going through what you are, or people who have already been there. I know I would could not of made it with out the couragous women and men on these boards. Good luck to all of you who have just began your journry. As you can see, it is different for all of us, but what we all have in common is that we are not alone, and we can get through this with a little help from our sisters here in pink.

God Bless you all,
Aurora

Hang in there!
Only 4 more to go!! I don't know how you are doing it while working, but I am glad that you are so close to the end! Sooooo......party on Thursday? Hmmmm.....may need some extra ice-cream this week! Better stock up now. ♥Pammy

Ritzy

sherria49 said:

Another Newbie!!
Thanks Pitt!!
Hi I'm Sherri, 49, in Maryland, with 3 adult children, 28, 26, & 19 and a beautiful granddaughter who is 7. I have been on the site for a month or so now. Only a few posts from me, but have received a wealth of info from all of the threads. Omg, everyone is so wonderful here! My Dr was so shocked at how informed I had become in such a short time. I was diagnosed in Aug this year with IDC in left breast, bilateral mastectomy (my choice) scheduled for Oct 30th with immediate reconstruction w/expanders & chemo port. Meeting with onco this Friday. Everytime I visit the site I have new questions & info to go to the Dr's with. Which makes me feel a little more in control of the situation. Hmmmmm, how much control do I really think I have. I'm still working and it seems everyone at work is sick! I use alot of hand sanitizer, trying to stay as healthy as possible. I have been doing fairly well with the whole BC thing until now... Just lost my ex father in law tonight (R.I.P Pop) He had a massive stroke over 25 years ago with little to no recovery from it. Just started going downhill last week and got the call this evening that he probably wouldn't make it through the night. So I gathered the kids together and we went to visit with him and say our goodbyes(he was at home). As soon as I returned home, we got the call that he passed. Reality kicked me straight in the teeth!! I just lost it!! I need to be strong for the kids. So...now I need to gather myself together, get through the funeral, and get my head ready for surgery! Thanks everyone for your encouraging kind words, & wealth of knowledge. Without you guys & this site I would be completely BC iliterate. Sherri

Sherri
Hi Sherri. I am sorry at the passing of your ex father in law. You seem like such a strong woman to go thru bc and then this too. I hope that we can all continue to help you.

Sue

lolad

Cat64 said:

Hi LindaJo
Welcome! Although sorry for your reason. You have come to the right place to find comfort,understanding,hope,strength,& advice to help you win this battle. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Feel free to post if you have any questions or just need to vent!
Hugz,
Cathy

wow
I cant believe all the new ones here. Its so amazing that they all have found this site. Please believe me when i say that you all have come to the right spot. Ive been on for a while now and just finished up with chemo. I know that all the new ones have so many emotions going through them right now. I will share with all of you that if it werent for me finding this site, i wouldnt be where i am today. I would probably be so lost and alone. Some days you wont feel like posting, just come and read. I did that alot and it still helped me alot. And when you want to vent and let all that frustration out come and do it here. When you have questions and no question is a dumb one either, ask it here. You will always have someone here ready to help and respond. Sometimes it might take a few to get a response but they do come, so dont give up. Stay strong and keep coming back.

take care all
laura

sherria49

Ritzy said:

Sherri
Hi Sherri. I am sorry at the passing of your ex father in law. You seem like such a strong woman to go thru bc and then this too. I hope that we can all continue to help you.

Sue

Omg Sue.....
Help is such a small word in comparison to what I have received from this site and the women here. These women have made me stronger than I would have ever imagined I could be. They say..."He nevers gives you more than you can handle"....hmmmmmm just wondering how strong he really thinks I am??????

I will be forever grateful for the caring, compassionate, and strong women that have entered my life since my diagnosis.

I only hope that someday I can pay it forward.

Sherri

MyTurnNow

lolad said:

wow
I cant believe all the new ones here. Its so amazing that they all have found this site. Please believe me when i say that you all have come to the right spot. Ive been on for a while now and just finished up with chemo. I know that all the new ones have so many emotions going through them right now. I will share with all of you that if it werent for me finding this site, i wouldnt be where i am today. I would probably be so lost and alone. Some days you wont feel like posting, just come and read. I did that alot and it still helped me alot. And when you want to vent and let all that frustration out come and do it here. When you have questions and no question is a dumb one either, ask it here. You will always have someone here ready to help and respond. Sometimes it might take a few to get a response but they do come, so dont give up. Stay strong and keep coming back.

take care all
laura

I, too, am amazed at the
I, too, am amazed at the number of new members. This is the greatest site and full of information and support. Just read or ask away. There seem to always be sisters in all phases of treatment so help is just a question away. It's a great place to be!

Jadie

ninjamom said:

I'm not new to this site,
I'm not new to this site, but have been gone for a while. My name is Patty and I live in California but was born and raised in El Salvador (Central America). I was diagnosed in March of 08, had a lumpectomy on my right breast in April, chemo May-July and radiation Aug-Spet 08. Luck would have it, I was hit with most side effects of chemo from diabetes to heart failure and have been in recovery all of 2009. The good news is that I'm getting stronger and my primary care MD seems to think that the damage might have been reversed as they are slowly reducing my heart medication and I seem to be responding well.

Valeria, this decease affects the caregivers as well. It is not easy but know that just by you being there for your mother is the best thing you can do for her. Your company and your love is the best medicine for her. I know it was for me, having my children around brought me back to life.

Let me know if you want to communicate in spanish. I will be checking in every day now.

Hi ninjamom
It's good to hear from you. I've been wondering about you lately. I started to put out an APB for you. LOL

ninjamom

Jadie said:

Hi ninjamom
It's good to hear from you. I've been wondering about you lately. I started to put out an APB for you. LOL

Hi Jadie
I have been real
Hi Jadie

I have been real busy working on getting better. Then I also got busy with Relay For Life, I'm team captain and committee member. Next year I will take it easy, my oldest daughter is taking the job of team captain and my second daughter will be the co-captain. I will only do commeetee. So, now that Relay is over for 2009, I have a little more time on my hands and here I am. I have been checking in almost every day now, I missed reading everyone's posts (even thought I sometimes don't reply).

cindycflynn

I've posted a few times on other threads, but realized that I've never introduced myself.

I'm 50 years young, living in So. Cal., married to a wonderfully supportive husband, and I was diagnosed with low grade invasive ductal carcinoma on September 2, 2009. Just completed my lumpectomy this past Monday with clear margins around a 1.3 cm tumor with no lymph node involvement. I'm looking forward to meeting with my medical oncologist soon (my surgeon will refer me at my surgical follow-up tomorrow) to plan the rest of my treatment, which will definitely include rads. I've already talked to my surgeon about the Oncotype test, and he said that my medical oncologist will order it.

A big THANK YOU to all who have come here, old and new, to post questions I might never have thought of, and to provide answers, support, and laughs to all of us with this common bond.

Cindy

padee6339

sherria49 said:

Thanks Pat!
Wow! We are close. If you ever need help with anything or just need an ear, let me know. We could always get together for lunch or dinner, compare notes, vent, laugh or whatever.....Always good to have someone that understands what you are going through. I have a great support system of family & friends but they have never walked in our shoes.

My onc is right down the street from the hospital so any support groups in that area would be great. Do you go to that same support group??

Hi Sherri
No, I don't go to that support group, my friend Rose does. She was originally diagnosed about 20 years ago, and had a reoccurrence this year and had a mastectomy. She was in Howard County Hospital (I had my lumpectomy in Laurel, and this last biopsy at Doctor's Hospital). If you read my new thread, Friday I was declared free and clear and all better, but that doesn't take away this past year. My oncologist is Dr. Isabella Martire and she is wonderful. She does the chemo right in her office in Laurel which made it sooo convenient. My surgeon was Dr. Mohammed Ali Khan, (Laurel and Greenbelt) and he was very kind and caring. Only Rose has walked in my shoes so she is my only off-line buddy to talk to about it. We went to an ACS Look Good - Feel Better at Laurel Hospital in September and they just had another one, so I'll be on the lookout for the next one. Just wish there was a support group closer to me. Maybe once I get this cataract off my good eye, I can drive again at night. I know there is a group in Gambrills, but that's even farther. I would love to get together for lunch sometime, no night driving!!
Pat

padee6339

jennN said:

Newbie
Hi All,

I'm Jenn and I had stage II BC. I had a 6x7x8 ductal insitu tumor and a 2.5 cm. invasive tumor. I had a mastecomy in August and have had one round of chemo. I am Her2nu positive and ER/PR positive. I was told I had a high liklihood of my cancer returning if I didn't do chemo...like 70% or more. However,I never had an onco (sp?) test. Should I ask to do this? My oncologist entered my info into the computer and it had a % for it recurring. I did have the BRACA1 & 2 test done and it was negative.

I just turned 41 a few days ago and have 3 children. I have 2 boys (16 & 14) and a girl (11).

What all does the onco test say?

Thanks,

Jen

Onco Type DX
The onco type dx test is a test on part of your tumor. After the tumor is removed, part of it is sent to this lab in California. They test it to see the DNA or whatever in it and they can tell what the percentage of recurrence is. The lower the percentage the better. I had a very small tumor and my oncologist recommended the test. The test is very expensive and not all insurance companies will pay it. I told her to go ahead and send it, I'd deal with it later. A week or so later I got a call from a nice young man at the lab who explained if my insurance didn't pay, they had funding to offer it for free, so not to worry about the cost. BTW - my insurance did cover it. My recurrence rate was 34%, high enough for more aggressive treatment, i.e., 6 rounds of chemo and 36 radiation treatments. I am done with the treatments now since June, but see the oncologist once a month for a shot to bring my blood levels back to normal. Doesn't seem to be working - maybe that's just the way my blood is, but I'll keep going. Even though I've been declared disease free, it makes me feel good to go to her so I feel like I am still fighting this beast. Or at least keep it in abeyance!
I would recommend getting the test, its another tool for them to determine your treatment.
Hugs - Pat