I do not need "Good Luck" or sympathy from anyone please, that does not help me, Please help me wit

blazytracy
blazytracy Member Posts: 157
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am not here for anyone to feel sorry for me or to wish me good luck because that is the last thing I want. My husband discovered my lump on Thursday, September 3rd. I have been diagnosed with Grade II, Stage III. I have had a modified radical masectomy on the right side on Thursday, September 24th. I have been told that I will need Chemotherapy (first) and also radiation. I would really just like to talk to people that have been in very similar situations so I can get some view on what to expect. I know everyone is different that is for sure. It is just so nice to be able to talk to someone that may be going thru the same things as I am. Thanks!
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Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    You have come to the right
    You have come to the right place! We do wish each other many things...but not sympathy very often ! We do give tons of EMPATHY~ as we are Kindred Spirits and we really do "get it" and can say that we feel your pain, as it were!

    I was stage 2B, with lymphnode involvement~ I had a lumpectomy, followed by chemo therapy, radiation therapy and 5 years of Arimidex to block the estrogen my body was producing which my particular brand of cancer fed on and loved! I am a 7 year survivor, but that by no means is the record for longevity in here! I am decades behind others!

    You will not find a more supportive, empathetic, wiser, honest group of women anywhere. Though I didn't have the exact cancer you did, there are many who did, and all of us will be more than happy to guide you through all phases of treatment and Life After Cancer!!

    Welcome to the club you never wanted to join....


    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • blazytracy
    blazytracy Member Posts: 157
    chenheart said:

    You have come to the right
    You have come to the right place! We do wish each other many things...but not sympathy very often ! We do give tons of EMPATHY~ as we are Kindred Spirits and we really do "get it" and can say that we feel your pain, as it were!

    I was stage 2B, with lymphnode involvement~ I had a lumpectomy, followed by chemo therapy, radiation therapy and 5 years of Arimidex to block the estrogen my body was producing which my particular brand of cancer fed on and loved! I am a 7 year survivor, but that by no means is the record for longevity in here! I am decades behind others!

    You will not find a more supportive, empathetic, wiser, honest group of women anywhere. Though I didn't have the exact cancer you did, there are many who did, and all of us will be more than happy to guide you through all phases of treatment and Life After Cancer!!

    Welcome to the club you never wanted to join....


    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    I think I am glad I joined..
    Thanks Cheri for the post. It is hard to believe that there are so many women out there with breast cancer. I, myself, never expected a diagnosis in a million years!
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159

    I think I am glad I joined..
    Thanks Cheri for the post. It is hard to believe that there are so many women out there with breast cancer. I, myself, never expected a diagnosis in a million years!

    YW....this is a great place
    YW....this is a great place for myriad reasons. One, as I mentioned, we get it. And because of that, when we vent, etc, someone will know just what we are talking about! And, in the probable event that you will have some frightening, sleepless nights, this place is open 24/7! There are amazing posts to read, and if you want to respoind to some, or start another one, fine! And if not...reading is good too; we know that we are never alone.
    As someone wisely said, and today it applies to you: You are our past, we are your future!

    You will find that we are gay, straight, single, married, divorced, happy, depressed, employed, looking for work,retired, with kids and without, drinkers, smokers and health"nuts" and yup--EVERYTHING inbetween~ of varying age groups too!We may seem different, but we are truly all Kindred Spirits, and though fighting the BC Beast is the reason you are here, you will not regret having found us!

    My name is Claudia, btw, and I live in California!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • mickeymom
    mickeymom Member Posts: 117
    That's alot!
    Wow, you've been through a lot for such a short time. I was diagnosed in early April and had surgery in late May. I did 8 rounds of chemo (4 A/C and 4 Taxol) over 16 weeks. I just finished chemo last week. I start radiation sometime next month. It's very normal to want to know what to expect and to try to see where you're headed. That much information can be very overwhelming and I would encourage you to try to take it one treatment at a time. Each one has it's own situations and everyone has different reactions. This is a good place to ask questions. There are alot of good people here with a lot of answers.

    Right now I hope you will try to focus on recovering from your surgery. Lots of rest, water and proteins to help you heal. You will definately want to get as much of your strength back as possible before chemo. You didn't say if you still have drains or if they took lymph nodes. Try to get information from your surgeon about getting your mobility back in your shoulder and arm and how to deal with the swelling that can happen. If you can do physical therapy, do it. It helped me feel better physically and I was very grateful for that once chemo started.

    Chemo takes a big toll on your body but that can be very different depending on what drugs you get, how you react, what kind of schedule you're on. Once you know the details of your chemo, ask more questions. Somebody here has been through it.

    The road you've started down is a long one and there will be a lot to learn. I think you're on the right track trying to find out as much as you can.
  • HillBillyNana
    HillBillyNana Member Posts: 107

    I think I am glad I joined..
    Thanks Cheri for the post. It is hard to believe that there are so many women out there with breast cancer. I, myself, never expected a diagnosis in a million years!

    You are not alone
    Hi Tracy, sadly you are right. There are many of us out here. And the road is not easy. The best advice I had after my diagnosis was "just consider the next 8 months as no fun". That was my oncologist. And he said it with a smile. (now you smile!) Seriously, I had treatment very similar to what you are describing. It has been 5 years since my treatment ended. I tried to keep a positive attitude and I think that helped. I was like you in that I did not want people to feel sorry for me. I figured if I looked sorry for myself they would feel sorry for me, so I smiled. I kept myself looking as good as possible. I even told myself a bald head wasn't that bad. I just put on big earrings and painted my eyebrows on and tried to look chipper. It was not always easy, but I got up every day and got dressed and did all I could of my own work. The chemo was no fun. I was weak. had a bad taste in my mouth. My husband made me cry every time I had a treatment. My appetite was gone but he said, "well you have to eat a few bites." He said it with the greatest of kindness but it made me cry. and it made me eat. I surrounded myself with strong supporters. And that is what you are asking for now, right? I refused to listen to stories with a bad ending. Halfway through the chemo, they stopped it and gave me 30 radiation treatments. I live 50 miles from the cancer center. My dear husband drove me there every day. Thankfully, we were both retired. That was our life and it was winter. But we just made it through. Treatment, lunch and come home and start over again. Some people get burns from the radiation - I did not. But really I think the radiation was worse than the chemo. After it was over, I went back to finish the last half of my chemo. Lost my hair again, and it was getting on to summer. I never wore a wig. Just a warm hat. To keep me warm. Then a baseball cap in the summer to keep the sun off my head. And when I was not out in the sun, I went bald. And always the big earrings. I tried putting fake eyelashes on, but that was a mistake. I got the kind that stick to the ones you already have and wouldn't you know, the real ones fell off and the fake ones came off with them. I hope you read this in the spirit in which I am writing it. This cancer stuff is a bad deal. But at least there is treatment. You sound like a toughy and I know you will make it.
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    mickeymom said:

    That's alot!
    Wow, you've been through a lot for such a short time. I was diagnosed in early April and had surgery in late May. I did 8 rounds of chemo (4 A/C and 4 Taxol) over 16 weeks. I just finished chemo last week. I start radiation sometime next month. It's very normal to want to know what to expect and to try to see where you're headed. That much information can be very overwhelming and I would encourage you to try to take it one treatment at a time. Each one has it's own situations and everyone has different reactions. This is a good place to ask questions. There are alot of good people here with a lot of answers.

    Right now I hope you will try to focus on recovering from your surgery. Lots of rest, water and proteins to help you heal. You will definately want to get as much of your strength back as possible before chemo. You didn't say if you still have drains or if they took lymph nodes. Try to get information from your surgeon about getting your mobility back in your shoulder and arm and how to deal with the swelling that can happen. If you can do physical therapy, do it. It helped me feel better physically and I was very grateful for that once chemo started.

    Chemo takes a big toll on your body but that can be very different depending on what drugs you get, how you react, what kind of schedule you're on. Once you know the details of your chemo, ask more questions. Somebody here has been through it.

    The road you've started down is a long one and there will be a lot to learn. I think you're on the right track trying to find out as much as you can.

    I would like to welcome you here, Tracy...
    ...but it sounds like that's not what you want.

    I can't believe how much you've gone through in just a few short weeks, and I'd like to tell you that my thoughts and prayers are with you as you find your way on this journey, but it sounds like that's not what you need to hear.

    We will be here for you whenever you have any questions that we can answer.

    Traci
  • blazytracy
    blazytracy Member Posts: 157
    chenheart said:

    YW....this is a great place
    YW....this is a great place for myriad reasons. One, as I mentioned, we get it. And because of that, when we vent, etc, someone will know just what we are talking about! And, in the probable event that you will have some frightening, sleepless nights, this place is open 24/7! There are amazing posts to read, and if you want to respoind to some, or start another one, fine! And if not...reading is good too; we know that we are never alone.
    As someone wisely said, and today it applies to you: You are our past, we are your future!

    You will find that we are gay, straight, single, married, divorced, happy, depressed, employed, looking for work,retired, with kids and without, drinkers, smokers and health"nuts" and yup--EVERYTHING inbetween~ of varying age groups too!We may seem different, but we are truly all Kindred Spirits, and though fighting the BC Beast is the reason you are here, you will not regret having found us!

    My name is Claudia, btw, and I live in California!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    thanks again claudia..
    I don't know if you read "about me" but you will know a bit more about me if you did. I see that you have been a member since April of 2003. That is great! I hope to be someone's "future" help someday also. My family is a great help but you are right, one never knows unless you have been there. I truly believe in that. I hope to keep writing to you Claudia, my best cousin has been calling me from CA to help me out as much as she can.
  • blazytracy
    blazytracy Member Posts: 157

    You are not alone
    Hi Tracy, sadly you are right. There are many of us out here. And the road is not easy. The best advice I had after my diagnosis was "just consider the next 8 months as no fun". That was my oncologist. And he said it with a smile. (now you smile!) Seriously, I had treatment very similar to what you are describing. It has been 5 years since my treatment ended. I tried to keep a positive attitude and I think that helped. I was like you in that I did not want people to feel sorry for me. I figured if I looked sorry for myself they would feel sorry for me, so I smiled. I kept myself looking as good as possible. I even told myself a bald head wasn't that bad. I just put on big earrings and painted my eyebrows on and tried to look chipper. It was not always easy, but I got up every day and got dressed and did all I could of my own work. The chemo was no fun. I was weak. had a bad taste in my mouth. My husband made me cry every time I had a treatment. My appetite was gone but he said, "well you have to eat a few bites." He said it with the greatest of kindness but it made me cry. and it made me eat. I surrounded myself with strong supporters. And that is what you are asking for now, right? I refused to listen to stories with a bad ending. Halfway through the chemo, they stopped it and gave me 30 radiation treatments. I live 50 miles from the cancer center. My dear husband drove me there every day. Thankfully, we were both retired. That was our life and it was winter. But we just made it through. Treatment, lunch and come home and start over again. Some people get burns from the radiation - I did not. But really I think the radiation was worse than the chemo. After it was over, I went back to finish the last half of my chemo. Lost my hair again, and it was getting on to summer. I never wore a wig. Just a warm hat. To keep me warm. Then a baseball cap in the summer to keep the sun off my head. And when I was not out in the sun, I went bald. And always the big earrings. I tried putting fake eyelashes on, but that was a mistake. I got the kind that stick to the ones you already have and wouldn't you know, the real ones fell off and the fake ones came off with them. I hope you read this in the spirit in which I am writing it. This cancer stuff is a bad deal. But at least there is treatment. You sound like a toughy and I know you will make it.

    thanks hillbilly nana
    Your story in a way made me laugh because all I could think of at first was "God, at least I have my eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed on...that was a smart decision 8 mos. ago"..hahahaha. I am about ready to go shopping for a wig because that is just the type of person that I am. Always have to look my best. And yes, as soon as people start feeling sorry for me, then I start feeling sorry for me and I do NOT want to do that. I don't feel sick at all right now which makes it even harder to believe that this is even happening to me. I will be having chemo and radiation during the winter months so I might consider just a stocking hat but we'll see. How long have you been done with your treatment? And please consider writing to me again. thanks.
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Stage III here...bilateral
    Stage III here...bilateral mastectomy in April '08, chemo in May-June-July 08, radiation September-Oct. Mild lymphedema. I think of the whole kaboodle as taking 9 months, just like a pregnancy : }. There are a number of Stage 3'ers here. Fire away with your questions. Like Claudia said, this site is open 24/7. xoxoxox Lynn
  • blazytracy
    blazytracy Member Posts: 157
    lynn1950 said:

    Stage III here...bilateral
    Stage III here...bilateral mastectomy in April '08, chemo in May-June-July 08, radiation September-Oct. Mild lymphedema. I think of the whole kaboodle as taking 9 months, just like a pregnancy : }. There are a number of Stage 3'ers here. Fire away with your questions. Like Claudia said, this site is open 24/7. xoxoxox Lynn

    thanks lynn1950
    thanks for sharing, yes, you do sound alot like what I am going to go thru... I would like to talk to you more...I sometimes wonder WHY I didn't do a bilateral...but that was my decision. So you have been done with treatment since last year about this time? That is great. How have you been doing? Did you have lymph nodes removed? I am so appreciative of all the responses that I have gotten. thanks everyone.
  • HillBillyNana
    HillBillyNana Member Posts: 107

    thanks hillbilly nana
    Your story in a way made me laugh because all I could think of at first was "God, at least I have my eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed on...that was a smart decision 8 mos. ago"..hahahaha. I am about ready to go shopping for a wig because that is just the type of person that I am. Always have to look my best. And yes, as soon as people start feeling sorry for me, then I start feeling sorry for me and I do NOT want to do that. I don't feel sick at all right now which makes it even harder to believe that this is even happening to me. I will be having chemo and radiation during the winter months so I might consider just a stocking hat but we'll see. How long have you been done with your treatment? And please consider writing to me again. thanks.

    Humor is the answer!!
    You will make it!!! I finished the chemo and radiation in July of 2004. I took Tamoxifen 5 years which ended in July of this year. The oncologist wants me to take Femara for another 5 years. I feel great. I hate the idea of taking more medication but I also hate idea of the breast cancer returning. So I will start the Femara in December. I am now 64 and I feel stronger every day. I don't remember that you told your age, but this stuff takes a lot of out of you. It is poison and just 'almost' kills you, but kills the cancer cells instead. Be patient with yourself. Take care of yourself. And stay pretty. It gives me cold chills to know that you are on this board just days after your surgery. But it is a good thing that you are communicating with people who have experienced the same thing. I had a small tumor, but my lymph nodes tested positive so they were removed also. I still have tenderness in that underarm area. They will tell you how to care for that arm. No needles, no blood pressure cuffs, etc. I started my chemo 1 week after my surgery. I asked if the chemo would hinder the healing process. The doctor told me it would not. I asked when do we start? He said it was up to me. I said how about today? He said go find you a seat. So i went to the recliner and had my first chemotherapy treatment. My husband and my daughter were with me at every appointment. I hope you have such a family. If not, I hope you have a friend who will stick to your side. Whatever you do, don't let people feel sorry for you. I don't check this board often, but you can email me. [email protected] and I will tell you anything you want to know. I live in AR. where are you? My name is Inez
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988

    thanks lynn1950
    thanks for sharing, yes, you do sound alot like what I am going to go thru... I would like to talk to you more...I sometimes wonder WHY I didn't do a bilateral...but that was my decision. So you have been done with treatment since last year about this time? That is great. How have you been doing? Did you have lymph nodes removed? I am so appreciative of all the responses that I have gotten. thanks everyone.

    Tracy, like Chen and all of
    Tracy, like Chen and all of the others stated, this is a place you don't want to be, but you will find that there are survivors that have answers to your questions, or someone who has been in most any scenario you can consider having to do with breast cancer. We are not few, but many, and the bond between those of us who have undergone the journey of recovery is strong enough to carry most anyone on our backs. My bc was found in February '08, and was followed by surgery, chemo (ACT) and radiation, and now Tamoxifen. It has been about 18 months since this all began, and I can truly say that without the support of this board, I may not be as far along in the recovery process as I am now. Post as often as you wish, look for answers in all places, and take the information you receive and apply it to your own personal journey. One of our members once said, we will be at the end of the tunnel with our flashlights shining bright, waiting for you. The trip is long, sometimes hard, but always taken with lots of companions by your side. Welcome to the board, and please keep us up to date on your progress. You may be surprised at how helpful these people can be, and always will be behind you, giving you a needed push. Hugs.

    Judy
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Welcome, blazytracy
    The value of loving support from family and friends is immeasurable when facing a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatments.

    However, only those who actually travel the journey can TRULY understand all it entails. This is - by far - the very best online group in existence, in my opinion. Which I know is shared by many, many other members.

    I joined this group to mark my own 5 year anniversary for completion of all invasive treatment: surgery, chemo, rads. Am now a 6 year survivor. There are members who count their own survivorship in decades, and some who've survived recurrences.

    The board is open each and every day, 24/7, never closed. Visit often, whenever you need or would like to. Someone is always here.
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Hi Blazy,
    Welcome!
    I was diagnosed in 2007 with stage 2A invasive ductal cancer. I had a lumpectomy followed by a partial mastectomy with (fortunately)clean nodes. I had 4 chemo treatments,33 rads treatments,and am now on Tamoxifen.
    You do sound like a tough cookie and that's what you are going to have to be in order to fight!
    You did come to the right place and we do have that common bond which makes it easy to be supportive of each other.
  • JGrim
    JGrim Member Posts: 36
    Tracy, I had a bilateral
    Tracy, I had a bilateral mastectomy followed by chemo and have been documenting it with photos and journals and reports and such at CancerVacation.com if you might want to see photos of what some of the later processes were like for me or what the test reports looked like or anything. The thing to remember, though, is that everyone is different and responds differently to things, but I remember going nuts that first month and wanting to learn as much as possible.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    JGrim said:

    Tracy, I had a bilateral
    Tracy, I had a bilateral mastectomy followed by chemo and have been documenting it with photos and journals and reports and such at CancerVacation.com if you might want to see photos of what some of the later processes were like for me or what the test reports looked like or anything. The thing to remember, though, is that everyone is different and responds differently to things, but I remember going nuts that first month and wanting to learn as much as possible.

    You are going to win
    Hi Tracy and welcome,
    You are not alone here and there are people who can help and support you. You can find many inspirational stories and make friends.
    I discovered a lymph-node lump myself about year ago at the age of 46. It was stage I on Mammogram and changed to III C after radical mastectomy. I had skin re-excision in addition to mastectomy and 6 cycles of Chemo, 36 radiation treatments and on hormonal therapy now.
    I never wanted people to feel sorry for me. Emotional determination and positive attitude both are very important in battling cancer. You can do it, we can help!
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Adding my welcome
    Just wanted to add my welcome. I am usually one of the night owls (cancer definitely messed up my internal clock).
    I was disgnosed, had quadrenectomy, had radiation, started Tamoxifen and will have surgery to remove my ovaries next week. It's been a long 4 months.
    Somehow, we all manage to get through it! For me, having everyone here made a huge difference. So come back any time and for any reason.
    Pammy
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570

    thanks lynn1950
    thanks for sharing, yes, you do sound alot like what I am going to go thru... I would like to talk to you more...I sometimes wonder WHY I didn't do a bilateral...but that was my decision. So you have been done with treatment since last year about this time? That is great. How have you been doing? Did you have lymph nodes removed? I am so appreciative of all the responses that I have gotten. thanks everyone.

    Yes, nodes removed...7 of 14
    Yes, nodes removed...7 of 14 had cancer (or something like that). There is some nerve damage on the cancer side, and like I said, some mild swelling. One thing I did was to confuse the lymphedema and the arm/underarm numbness with CANCER. Getting the byproducts of treatment separated from the cancer itself was a big step for me, emotionally.

    I can tell you that I barreled through chemo and rads, worked part-time (I'm a teacher), did outrageous travelling so I could keep working during radiation, and never cried. I fell apart about a year ago. MAJOR. Folks that were around here back then can testify, or you can probably look it up in the archives if you want to depress yourself. The point I want to make is: I am fine now and I gathered a lot of learning along the way.

    If I were to do it all over again (ha!), I would probably get counseling from the get-go and be easier on myself.

    xoxoxox Lynn
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    Can't really add anything....
    to these comments, except to say that my diagnosis was very similar to yours. Twenty-three years ago. Hope that offers a bit of encouragement. Email me here if you care to.
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    zahalene said:

    Can't really add anything....
    to these comments, except to say that my diagnosis was very similar to yours. Twenty-three years ago. Hope that offers a bit of encouragement. Email me here if you care to.

    Wow, Z! You are an
    Wow, Z! You are an inspiration to me, too. xoxoxox Lynn