Recently diagnosed, surgery pending, scared to death!

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  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #22
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    Welcome, Rose84
    My surgery was lumpectomy, so I can't specifically speak to your surgery concerns.

    We're all here to support and encourage each other. Visit often, whenever you want or feel the need.

    Best wishes.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #23
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    Aortus said:

    You're stronger than you think
    It seems to me like you have already taken the bull by the horns, Rose, when you decided on what surgery to have. There will continue to be moments of fear - the same fears everyone in your position has faced. It won't be easy, but with love and prayer and support and your own internal strength, you WILL make it. May God bless you!

    Joe

    Joe, Thank you so much for
    Joe, Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It meant a lot coming from a spouse or significant other. My husband is the proverbial osterich in the sand when it comes to this. He isn't on board, and I am going to be okay no matter what. There is great strength in numbers, so thank you for being one of the supporters.
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #24
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    padee6339 said:

    Welcome Rose
    I had my lumpectomy last October and just 2 weeks ago finished the last of my treatments (chemo and rads). You don't know where you will find the strength to get through it, but you do. Its there, buried inside you. We are here for you to talk to and send lots of hugs to get you through this new journey in your life.
    Pat

    Pat, thanks for sharing your
    Pat, thanks for sharing your journey. Strength comes from strange places sometimes. It took a good deal of strength to join this board. I have never done anything like this before. Thanks for your warm hugs - they really help!
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #25
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    Moopy23 said:

    Waiting
    Hi, Rose, I also welcome you though I am sorry for your diagnosis. As Kat wrote, waiting and fear are pretty much to be expected right now. The good news is that this is the worst time. After your surgery and receiving the pathology report, your doctors will be able to advise you as to what, if any, further treatment is needed or recommended.

    As far as the dance with the devil, you can expect many appointments and tests. For awhile, doctors and clinics will determine where and when you are on any given day. They don't ask when you want to come in: I guess they figure beating cancer is your priority as far as activities for your day.

    Your description "dance with the devil" is a good one. Just keep in mind that everything you are experiencing, everything you will do, is so that you end up dancing with NED. Who is NED?--no evidence of disease. So, hang in there. You have a great attitude already, and you will find lots of support here.

    Thanks for telling me about
    Thanks for telling me about NED. Haven't heard that expression before. It seems so far off in the distance right now. That dancing with the devil will eventually go away and I hope I never have to get used to him stepping on my toes. Thank you so much for your support.
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #26
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    Ltalcott said:

    similar situations
    I had a very similar situation to what you are doing. You won't know a lot about the rest of your treatment until pathology comes back after the mastectomies.

    I had a diagnosis through biopsy with invasive ductal carcinoma on the left side. Made the decision to do bialateral because I'd been arguing with things for years (I'd had 3-4 biopsies and a lumpectomy.) I also had a tiny spot on the right--no one really thought it was anything, but they decided to biospy before surgery to make sure.

    The right side was IDC also. Didn't change my decision at all, but sure knocked me on my tail. It wasn't cancer spreading from one breast to the other, two separate occurences at the same time. After all, I took both of them the same places, so they were both exposed to the same things--same genetic make-up.

    It did change the sentinel node biopsy--they did both sides, and I had no node involvement on either side. If the cancer in the right hadn't been found until after the mastectomies were done, they would have had to take all the lymph nodes, you can't go back and do the sentinal node biopsy. So if they can biopsy your suspicious area before the surgery, it might make sense. I'd ask.

    Because my tumors were small (1.4 and .6 centimeters) and because my Oncotype DX scores were low (9 and 16), my benefit from chemo would be non-existent--and the risk of long-term side effects (heart damage, other cancers) didn't make that treatment reasonable.

    So, after the surgery, my treatment is basically over. I'm taking Tamoxifen for 5 years--May 1, 2009 through April 30, 2014 but I've had no side effects at all.

    I had DIEP flap reconstruction at the time of surgery--just a varation of TRAM that's a little more complicated. I was in surgery for 17 hours! No major complications, but I was in the ICU for two days, in the hospital for 7 days, and back to work at 6 weeks. I'm now 3 1/2 months out of surgery, and I'm back at the gym working out every morning--sit-ups don't work yet, ha, ha! But, as others will tell you, the part you are doing now--waiting, getting tests--that's the hard part. Even if you have chemo or rads, at least then you are involved in the fight.

    Welcome to the discussion board.
    Lisa

    Lisa, our paths are quite
    Lisa, our paths are quite similar. Hopefully I will come out the same way as you are progressing. The TRAM procedure is almost as scary as the cancer itself. She told me that I would not be able to so sit ups as the main muscle will be moved. I told her it didn't matter since I can't do them that well now. Glad to know that exercise will be possible soon after since I am not looking forward to regaining any of the 35 pounds I have recently lost in the last year. A six pack abs won't be a problem since I haven't ever been good at sit ups! Just another "wrinkle" in the journey. I just hope what they move to the north will find it comfortable and not want to go back south from where it came from! What a journey!
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #27
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    cats_toy said:

    Rose
    Scary yes! no one will tell you otherwise. But try not to let the fear rule you. Sounds like you have already decided to beat this so that is a great first step. If you have faith in your doctors, let them guide you on the journey, they will be there every step of the way. We will too. Just ask the question, and you already see the response. Let us know how it goes and when your surgery will be.
    =^..^=

    Scheduled for surgery on
    Scheduled for surgery on July 8th. It will be here before you know it. The waiting is the absolute hardest thing right now. Waiting, wondering, mind taking you to places where you may not want to go. It will all be good - one way or another. Thank you so much for your support!
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #28
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    maryannrogers said:

    Rose
    You've come to the right place. These ladies are awesome. I know they have all put their arms around me when I started posting.

    I got home from surgery 2 days ago and am now staying at my daughters. I had a modified radical masect on the right side and all lymph nodes were taken under my arm. Talk about scared, I thought I was having a heart attack before I went in for the surgery. All I can say is hang in there. Iknow I wasn't a good patient either as I was pissed at the whole world. It is not as bad as I anticipated. They make you as comfortable as possible, had a wonderful support team and am recouping now. I don't know what the future will bring me as far as treatment yet, but as much of a chicken as I am, I feel I will handle whatever needs to be handled.

    God bless you and stay with us.

    Love,
    Maryann

    Maryann, You will be in my
    Maryann, You will be in my prayers as you recover. I didn't know there was a good patient when it comes to this. I can relate to the "heart attack" description. Allow your daughters to take great care of you and get your rest so you are back on your feet real soon. Chicken - heck no - you already are strong by just making it through the surgery! God Bless your recovery!
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #29
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    jk1952 said:

    TRAM

    Welcome to this group, and we are all very sorry that you have had the diagnosis that makes you a member.

    Everyone has done a great job of encouragement and telling you what to expect. You've come a long way in decision-making and planning, and those are very difficult times. I had a similar situation to you, but I had the bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction, on April 22nd, nine years after having my original cancer diagnosis.

    For me, one breast was reconstructed using the DIEP procedure and the other with the free TRAM flap procedure, which is very similar to the DIEP. Are you having the TRAM procedure where they tunnel the tissue up through your body, or will the plastic surgeon detach the tissue and fat from your abdomen and then reattach the blood supply under your arm? My procedures were the detach/reattach kinds. Lisa described that surgery well, but if you have additional questions, just ask. By the way, the ICU is so they can check your blood flow regularly; it's not because you are very sick.

    I wish you well with your surgeries and your journey.

    Joyce

    Joyce

    Joyce, Thank you for
    Joyce, Thank you for joining the TRAM discussion for me. I am concerned about this part of the surgery. The reading I have done does not make it sound pleasant, either for the surgery or the recovery. I am having the "tunneling" experience. She said it will be like having 2 major surgeries at the same time. I believe the doctor told me that I would pray to die for about 2 weeks but if I make it that far, I will be fine. I have been envisioning what that will be like in my head, which is a very dangerous game. However, if it is better than what I envision, it will not be so bad after all. Never thought about the ICU part and nobody has mentioned it. My fear/concern is that I will be put in a room with another patient (usually don't care about this) but am concerned about what shape I will be in, where my mind will be, not sure I can be exceptionally "nice" to another person right after surgery. I get along with everyone and usually am very friendly. Just would hate to give someone the wrong impression when I feel like I am dying (not literally). Surgery poses so many mind boggeling thoughts. Thank you so much for your support.
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #30
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    cruf said:

    Tram Flap
    Hi Rose! Welcome! I had a single Tram Flap almost 9 years ago. I would be willing to try to answer any questions. Please e-mail me here and I will help you as much as I can. I, too, was terrified but it wasn't as bad as I feared. HUGS!! Cathy

    Cathy, is there a special
    Cathy, is there a special way to email from this site. I have never joined a forum before so this whole process is wierd. Not sure how to find my post answers when I return either. Was a challenge this morning so if there is an easier way, please share it.
  • Rose84
    Rose84 Member Posts: 11
    #31
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    DianeBC said:

    Rose, how are you doing
    Rose, how are you doing today? Please post and let us know.

    Diane, today was a mixed
    Diane, today was a mixed blessing. Received a Prayer Quilt from a friend, which made me cry. Found a gift my brother left with a note, made me cry again. I guess you could say it was a weepy day. Then I sucked it up and went to work with a smile on my face. Putting on a positive face for my customers. Joy comes from strange places sometimes.
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #32
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    Rose84 said:

    Cathy, is there a special
    Cathy, is there a special way to email from this site. I have never joined a forum before so this whole process is wierd. Not sure how to find my post answers when I return either. Was a challenge this morning so if there is an easier way, please share it.

    Rose, welcome...
    Go to your csn home page and under 'connect and communicate' click on CSN Email. That will take you to your email options page.
    To follow your thread, click on discussion boards, scroll down to 'breast cancer', click that then look for the original post you made. All your posts and replies will be there...here actually!
    It all gets easy as pie real soon.
    God bless.
  • jk1952
    jk1952 Member Posts: 613
    #33
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    Rose84 said:

    Joyce, Thank you for
    Joyce, Thank you for joining the TRAM discussion for me. I am concerned about this part of the surgery. The reading I have done does not make it sound pleasant, either for the surgery or the recovery. I am having the "tunneling" experience. She said it will be like having 2 major surgeries at the same time. I believe the doctor told me that I would pray to die for about 2 weeks but if I make it that far, I will be fine. I have been envisioning what that will be like in my head, which is a very dangerous game. However, if it is better than what I envision, it will not be so bad after all. Never thought about the ICU part and nobody has mentioned it. My fear/concern is that I will be put in a room with another patient (usually don't care about this) but am concerned about what shape I will be in, where my mind will be, not sure I can be exceptionally "nice" to another person right after surgery. I get along with everyone and usually am very friendly. Just would hate to give someone the wrong impression when I feel like I am dying (not literally). Surgery poses so many mind boggeling thoughts. Thank you so much for your support.

    TRAM Surgery

    Rose,

    It sounds like you are not having the same surgery that Lisa and I had. The surgery that we had is a fairly recent development and is really a delicate microsurgery, in that the blood supply is detached from the abdomen and then reattached under your arm. There are similarities, but quite significant differences, too. There are only about 150 plastic surgeons in the US who have enough experience to perform this surgery, and fortunately, there was one whose office is two miles from my house. And, this was in Syracuse, NY, which is not a huge city. If there's anyway you could be considered for the DIEP reconstruction, I would highly recommend it. Although the reconnecting the blood supply seems scary, I preferred that to what I knew of the TRAM reconstruction. But, there are many considerations, not the least being its availability, so you need to do what's right for you.

    I don't think that ICU will apply to you: it was only because of the need to constantly check the blood supply reconnection.

    My biggest fear of the surgery and hospital stay was my fear of having a roommate and what I might say or do when I was in pain or frustrated. I didn't want their hospital stay ruined because of me. Funny that we were both very concerned about the same thing. (I had a private room in ICU for two days and then I was fortunate to have a private room on the surgical floor for two days, so my fears were unfounded).

    Once again, if I can help you in any way, let me know.

    Joyce
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #34
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    Rose84 said:

    Thanks outdoor girl for your prayers and support. It means a lot.

    Sounds like you have a good
    Sounds like you have a good plan of action Rose. The hard part is just waiting to get started,but best of luck with everything.
    Dee
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #35
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    Rose84 said:

    Thanks outdoor girl for your prayers and support. It means a lot.

    Welcome to this board Rose
    Welcome to this board Rose and I want to wish you well! We are here to support you.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #36
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    Christmas Girl said:

    Welcome, Rose84
    My surgery was lumpectomy, so I can't specifically speak to your surgery concerns.

    We're all here to support and encourage each other. Visit often, whenever you want or feel the need.

    Best wishes.

    Kind regards, Susan

    Rose
    Welcome to the best support group on the internet. Your surgery will be a doddle and over before you know it, I am only just a year out of treatment and can barely remember any of it. It passes. I am now working full time and loving it. Life is good again. I know at the moment it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me, we will all be there with our flashlights at the ready!
    Hugs to you! Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • aurora2009
    aurora2009 Member Posts: 544 Member
    #37
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    tasha_111 said:

    Rose
    Welcome to the best support group on the internet. Your surgery will be a doddle and over before you know it, I am only just a year out of treatment and can barely remember any of it. It passes. I am now working full time and loving it. Life is good again. I know at the moment it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me, we will all be there with our flashlights at the ready!
    Hugs to you! Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Hi Rose
    I just wanted to welcome you to this site, it's a wonderful to find strength and support.

    Hope your day is a good one!!!!!!!!
  • piseminger
    piseminger Member Posts: 35
    #38
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    God be with you
    Hi Rose, I am new to the board but just finished 33 rounds of radiation. I was diagnosed in October 2008 with breast cancer in one breast. I had a modified mastecomy. Then I went through 16 rounds of chemo and then my radiation. What has helped me through this is my faith and trust in God, my family, my friends and even people I didn't know. God has put people I didn't even know in my path that have walked where I am walking. They were all so encouraging. It is ok to be afraid but don't let that fear dominate your life. Please be encouraged.
    Penny
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #39
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    Hi rose....
    As usual I am bringing up the rear in welcoming you. Didn't want you to think I left you out. Glad you found us. You found the best bunch of people that exist in ctber space and we are always here for you!! :) Pammy
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #40
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    Akiss4me said:

    Hi rose....
    As usual I am bringing up the rear in welcoming you. Didn't want you to think I left you out. Glad you found us. You found the best bunch of people that exist in ctber space and we are always here for you!! :) Pammy

    Hi Rose. Just welcoming you
    Hi Rose. Just welcoming you like the rest!
  • maryannrogers
    maryannrogers Member Posts: 115
    #41
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    Alexis F said:

    Hi Rose. Just welcoming you
    Hi Rose. Just welcoming you like the rest!

    Rose
    Hang in their sister. I had my masectomy a week ago. Never thought I would even make it that far. All I did was hyperventilate and cry and I remember it so well.

    Things will be better for you, I promise. This is a great support group here.

    When you can, keep us posted on how you are doing. We're all in this together.

    Maryann

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