Woohooooooooo
Comments
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getting some much deserved attention
Sorry I don't have a vet but I'll take you anywhere you want to go in my old beat-up pick up truck.
Don't put up with the shi# at home- you deserve better. Tell him to stop drinking or get out.
As far as what he WANTS sexually----- He doesn't even deserve a kiss on the cheek.
Bill S0 -
Bill sBill.S said:getting some much deserved attention
Sorry I don't have a vet but I'll take you anywhere you want to go in my old beat-up pick up truck.
Don't put up with the shi# at home- you deserve better. Tell him to stop drinking or get out.
As far as what he WANTS sexually----- He doesn't even deserve a kiss on the cheek.
Bill S
Thank you so much..........I am starting to get it............Hey thanks just so much.......... Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
Yeah J,tasha_111 said:Bill s
Thank you so much..........I am starting to get it............Hey thanks just so much.......... Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You deserve much better than that!0 -
HUGStasha_111 said:Hey
He spent loads, on a platinum amex (one notices these things) He was from Manchester which is just up country from the county I come from.........I think it was just an ex-pat thing.
He was real nice though.
nuff said.
Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
Well actually NOT ENOUGH SAID! HERE GOES......Every day when I have worked 8 hours, I come home to my so called 'better half' who has been spending money like it grows on trees and is a drunk as a judge EVERY night when I get in at 5. This is usually followed by a blazing row within an hour of me getting home. All the bloody washing up is still in the sink when I get my day off on sunday (even though he only cooked one meal all week, every cup, mug, glass and plate needs to be washed)
I KNOW! Why don't you leave him?.......I am in a strange country with only him as backup. That's why.
He is verbally, sexually and mentally abusive and I HAVE PHUCKIN HAD ENOUGH!
No wonder I am looking elsewhere.......Hey all of you Pray for me and keep yer fingers crossed too! I can't do this much longer.
Sorry to vent........It's not like me, I tackle everything with humour but this is just getting my goat so much.
Sorry again.......Jxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You sure don't need to be sorry for venting in here Tasha, we are here for you. I think he needs to step up a bit for goodness sakes. If there is no ring and he treats you like the rug he walks on then he has certainly not earned anything physical. Just cause he is the only person you know in that country does not mean you should be mistreated, it is just not okay.
RE0 -
Heytasha_111 said:Jan and Cats
Thank you so much............
I'm in Canada, you know me.:)0 -
That's for ()&#^@#*^)ing sure, Tasha!outdoorgirl said:Yeah J,
You deserve much better than that!
You and Jamie and the guppies too!
Seriously, there is no reason why a smart, funny, hard-working babe who gets hit on by rich dudes driving Vettes should have to put up with a a chucklehead like that. You really do deserve better!0 -
Tasha,dyaneb123 said:Tasha you are so funny and
Tasha you are so funny and cool...you don't need that fool.
You have to ask
Tasha,
You have to ask yourself that age old question. Am I better off with him or without him? Also, do you think that all the abuse stems from the alcohol or the alcohol is just an excuse for the abuse. That can make a big difference in what you want to do. I won't tell you to leave him. As someone else said that's a choice only you can make. It makes me sad and angry that someone as obviously fun and upbeat and strong as you, has to have someone like this in their lives. If I am correct, he doesn't work, help around the house, support you and your health issues, and is a physical and sexual abuser. Ask yourself what would you advise any one of us on this board if we were in that situation. Pretend it's not you but your dearest friend and see what your heart says. Maybe your new employers can help you to locate a place to go if you decide to leave or what you need to do if you throw the B*****d out. There are options to living like this and you should explore them.
HOpe I don't sound too preachy. I just care so much for my friends on here and their problems are my problems.
Stef0 -
You go girl! It always feels
You go girl! It always feels good to get that outside attention. "Just let it shine, let it shine!
Babe0 -
Dear TashaNoel said:You shake that thang!
You shake that thang! Boosts your ego, doesn't it? Gotta love it!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT! 'Nuff said. Hugs.
Judy0 -
Sweet Tasha,
I really
Sweet Tasha,
I really needed to weigh in on this one. The best thing I think I read in all of the postings is, you are NOT married to him! The close to second worst thing you said, even though it was in quotes was that he is your "better half"....uh, are you kidding?????
Everyone has been very eloquent, smart, encouraging~ just as we would expect in here! We are a strong sisterhood! ( you kindred men in here know I am in no way slighting you and your amazing in-put)
After the obvious has been stated, there is also a reason you have stayed in this unhealthy relationship for so long; and it seems to most of us in here TOO long. From the outside, it is easy for us to push you in the right direction, or pull you from your seemingly untenable situation. And we would jump to your aid and defense in the proverbial heartbeat.
I just want to say, in case uncertainty, fear and change is holding you back~ I understand that perfectly! I was married for over 27 YEARS, and was over 50 when I made "The Decision" to leave. I realized that if I didn't leave then, I probably never would. I would wake up one day being 80, and still in the same place, with no place to go. Literally.
I can't begin to tell you how afraid I was. As bad as things are, there is a perverse comfort zone in the familiarity.
And yet, as lonely and afraid as I was, at that "old age", I did get BC ( UGH) but I also met my Sweet Reggie, and have been loved, nurtured and cared for in ways I never dreamed possible. And why shouldn't I have been??? I am loveable, caring, and nurturing myself~ and I found someone to share that part of my personality with!!! That wasn't very humble, I know....sorry!
Muster what strength you need...and Run For Your Life! There is a big difference between what we are responsible for and what we are responsible to.
None of us in here sighs and avoids answering your posts. Why is that? Because we see you for who you are~ and who we know you can be, given the chance!!!
Make the leap Tasha! Make a literal or mental list of Pros and Cons of staying where you are. Sometimes when we actually see things written down, it makes our decisions a bit easier to make.
Sorry to have rambled here Tasha! Just that you are loved and valued in here, but you should also experience that value outside of the cyber world!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Claudia said it allchenheart said:Sweet Tasha,
I really
Sweet Tasha,
I really needed to weigh in on this one. The best thing I think I read in all of the postings is, you are NOT married to him! The close to second worst thing you said, even though it was in quotes was that he is your "better half"....uh, are you kidding?????
Everyone has been very eloquent, smart, encouraging~ just as we would expect in here! We are a strong sisterhood! ( you kindred men in here know I am in no way slighting you and your amazing in-put)
After the obvious has been stated, there is also a reason you have stayed in this unhealthy relationship for so long; and it seems to most of us in here TOO long. From the outside, it is easy for us to push you in the right direction, or pull you from your seemingly untenable situation. And we would jump to your aid and defense in the proverbial heartbeat.
I just want to say, in case uncertainty, fear and change is holding you back~ I understand that perfectly! I was married for over 27 YEARS, and was over 50 when I made "The Decision" to leave. I realized that if I didn't leave then, I probably never would. I would wake up one day being 80, and still in the same place, with no place to go. Literally.
I can't begin to tell you how afraid I was. As bad as things are, there is a perverse comfort zone in the familiarity.
And yet, as lonely and afraid as I was, at that "old age", I did get BC ( UGH) but I also met my Sweet Reggie, and have been loved, nurtured and cared for in ways I never dreamed possible. And why shouldn't I have been??? I am loveable, caring, and nurturing myself~ and I found someone to share that part of my personality with!!! That wasn't very humble, I know....sorry!
Muster what strength you need...and Run For Your Life! There is a big difference between what we are responsible for and what we are responsible to.
None of us in here sighs and avoids answering your posts. Why is that? Because we see you for who you are~ and who we know you can be, given the chance!!!
Make the leap Tasha! Make a literal or mental list of Pros and Cons of staying where you are. Sometimes when we actually see things written down, it makes our decisions a bit easier to make.
Sorry to have rambled here Tasha! Just that you are loved and valued in here, but you should also experience that value outside of the cyber world!
Hugs,
Claudia
Tasha ... I think Claudia put into words what we all feel. We all love you and see you for the wonderful, sensitive, caring, funny, ambitious, determined and hard working woman you are. It is such a shame that you have to come home from your very fun and rewarding days at your new job ... to find the blob at home doing nothing. How very sad. You deserve so much better.
I can only second what Claudia said about putting decisions off to leave ... because I did just about the same thing. I was married for 21 years and for the life of my I don't know what kept us together. I loved him ... but if I'd had a brain in my head I should have seen that he did not feel the same about me. He moved out several times (coming back only when I begged him ... not because he really wanted to). To look back on it now ... it was so obvious that he just didn't want to spend time with me. There were nights when he just didn't come home ... and I would be worried sick ... but of course he just didn't care what I was feeling.
I'm sure I would still be married to him today ... if he hadn't found someone else (although I must admit that it must have been a bit difficult to date while he was still married ... but that's just tough you-know-what!). Anyway ... HE finally asked for the divorce and I was devastated. But ... to look back on it ... I wonder why I didn't see things clearer all along. He didn't want to be with me. It was that simple. I realize now that I wasted a lot of time hoping and dreaming that everything would be fine ... and we'd live happily ever after. I wasted so much time ... in my imaginary world of how things should be ... and that of course the reason things weren't that way was MY fault.
Well ... that's a bunch of crap. Because I realize now that all along I deserved much better. Instead ... I was just "settling" for something less.
I think the suggestion that you talk with your new employers and see if they might be able to help you find a (safe) place to live ... is a good suggestion. I am no a person of religion ... but I do have faith (if that makes sense) ... and I do believe that everything happens for a reason ... and this new job and your wonderful new employers seemed to have come along at just the right time. You'll have employment ... in a job you love ... and you are strong enough and independent enough to make it without that jerk sitting at home. You deserve so much more.
Better late than never ... and there's a big wide world out there ... full of people who will treat you with the respect you deserve. And ... who knows ... that guy in the Corvette may just need some more plants ... real soon.
Love ya ...
Teena
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Claudiachenheart said:Sweet Tasha,
I really
Sweet Tasha,
I really needed to weigh in on this one. The best thing I think I read in all of the postings is, you are NOT married to him! The close to second worst thing you said, even though it was in quotes was that he is your "better half"....uh, are you kidding?????
Everyone has been very eloquent, smart, encouraging~ just as we would expect in here! We are a strong sisterhood! ( you kindred men in here know I am in no way slighting you and your amazing in-put)
After the obvious has been stated, there is also a reason you have stayed in this unhealthy relationship for so long; and it seems to most of us in here TOO long. From the outside, it is easy for us to push you in the right direction, or pull you from your seemingly untenable situation. And we would jump to your aid and defense in the proverbial heartbeat.
I just want to say, in case uncertainty, fear and change is holding you back~ I understand that perfectly! I was married for over 27 YEARS, and was over 50 when I made "The Decision" to leave. I realized that if I didn't leave then, I probably never would. I would wake up one day being 80, and still in the same place, with no place to go. Literally.
I can't begin to tell you how afraid I was. As bad as things are, there is a perverse comfort zone in the familiarity.
And yet, as lonely and afraid as I was, at that "old age", I did get BC ( UGH) but I also met my Sweet Reggie, and have been loved, nurtured and cared for in ways I never dreamed possible. And why shouldn't I have been??? I am loveable, caring, and nurturing myself~ and I found someone to share that part of my personality with!!! That wasn't very humble, I know....sorry!
Muster what strength you need...and Run For Your Life! There is a big difference between what we are responsible for and what we are responsible to.
None of us in here sighs and avoids answering your posts. Why is that? Because we see you for who you are~ and who we know you can be, given the chance!!!
Make the leap Tasha! Make a literal or mental list of Pros and Cons of staying where you are. Sometimes when we actually see things written down, it makes our decisions a bit easier to make.
Sorry to have rambled here Tasha! Just that you are loved and valued in here, but you should also experience that value outside of the cyber world!
Hugs,
Claudia
I applaud and commend you. Humble? NO! With good reason, you are amazing! Can't say anything more
Tasha, listen to them all and do what your heart tells you is right, you may find your own "Sweet Reggie" !!
=^..^=0 -
Tashacats_toy said:Claudia
I applaud and commend you. Humble? NO! With good reason, you are amazing! Can't say anything more
Tasha, listen to them all and do what your heart tells you is right, you may find your own "Sweet Reggie" !!
=^..^=
I am so sad to read of your home situation. I had no idea as you are always so bright, brilliant and funny on this board. As I wrote earlier in another post about you, you always bring a smile to my face. When I come on, I search for your name, as I know I will get a chuckle for the day from you. I was so happy for you when you got your new job and you seemed so pleased about it. That is what life is about Tasha, being happy. Not being in a situation where you are physically, sexually and mentally abused. Life is wayyyyyyyyyy too short for that and anything can happen, as we all know only too well. So, I will say to you what I asked one of my best girlfriends who was in an abusive marriage. I asked her to think that if she were told that she only had 1 year left to live, would she want to spend that precious and ever so important year with her abusive husband or finally find some peace and happiness and enjoy each and everyday to the max. Needless to say, she divorced the creep, found a new man and is deleriously happy and married to him! Please Tasha, don't be afraid to do what is right for you. Where there is a will, there is a way! Love, Jeanne0 -
Hey there TashaJeanne D said:Tasha
I am so sad to read of your home situation. I had no idea as you are always so bright, brilliant and funny on this board. As I wrote earlier in another post about you, you always bring a smile to my face. When I come on, I search for your name, as I know I will get a chuckle for the day from you. I was so happy for you when you got your new job and you seemed so pleased about it. That is what life is about Tasha, being happy. Not being in a situation where you are physically, sexually and mentally abused. Life is wayyyyyyyyyy too short for that and anything can happen, as we all know only too well. So, I will say to you what I asked one of my best girlfriends who was in an abusive marriage. I asked her to think that if she were told that she only had 1 year left to live, would she want to spend that precious and ever so important year with her abusive husband or finally find some peace and happiness and enjoy each and everyday to the max. Needless to say, she divorced the creep, found a new man and is deleriously happy and married to him! Please Tasha, don't be afraid to do what is right for you. Where there is a will, there is a way! Love, Jeanne
I think all the good and important stuff's been said here. I just want you to know that I support your decisions and that no one should stay in any kind of abusive situation. So GET OUT OF THERE (or get him to leave, pronto).
Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Do it now!
I think you're fantastic...EVERYONE here does.
And you deserve someone who can treat you like the fantastic person you are, and they're out there -- I know it!!
Sending you much love and strength,
Debi0 -
My thoughtbfbear said:Hey there Tasha
I think all the good and important stuff's been said here. I just want you to know that I support your decisions and that no one should stay in any kind of abusive situation. So GET OUT OF THERE (or get him to leave, pronto).
Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Do it now!
I think you're fantastic...EVERYONE here does.
And you deserve someone who can treat you like the fantastic person you are, and they're out there -- I know it!!
Sending you much love and strength,
Debi
I will tell you what I did. Asked my husband to move out because Jake and I were very unhappy in the situation with all the drinking that my husband did which then made him call me names bad names in front of Jake. He did finally move out and we get along a lot better now. He does not call or come over to see Jake if he has been drinking.
We will never get back together and I will be filing papers in June. Jake and I are very happy now. Jake needs to grow up where he is happy and not sad.
With that said Tasha you need to make up your mind--you need to be happy.
I will be thinking of you.
Strengthening hugs coming your way.
Margo0 -
My fun-loving sister Tashtommaseena said:My thought
I will tell you what I did. Asked my husband to move out because Jake and I were very unhappy in the situation with all the drinking that my husband did which then made him call me names bad names in front of Jake. He did finally move out and we get along a lot better now. He does not call or come over to see Jake if he has been drinking.
We will never get back together and I will be filing papers in June. Jake and I are very happy now. Jake needs to grow up where he is happy and not sad.
With that said Tasha you need to make up your mind--you need to be happy.
I will be thinking of you.
Strengthening hugs coming your way.
Margo
Looks like I got back to my computer just in time!!!Remember how you ran running and screaming from that snake? Well........run girl run...and don't look back. It sounds like he is just like that snake all coiled up and ready to strike at you the minute you get home. That makes my heart so sad, I know what a joy you are and how very happy you could be if he wasn't there trying to steal it. He is very possibly jealous of what a truly amazing, sweet and funny person you are and don't forget very talented and creative. I knew that quite a long time back when you posted the poem and picture of your turquoise out-fit. I would love to see that again sometime...
I can't probably tell you any more than all your amazing sisters have said , but hun don't just "settle" because you are familiar with your surroundings, there is so much more out there to live for and anyone would be crazy not to love you and show you how much. Look at what happiness your new job has made you. If you didn't have to go home to the drunken judge, you could go have a drink with friends after work. Before you know it you would have guys in corvetts, cudas, mustangs etc. all beating down your door. In time you will find someone who truley loves you and will show you all the joy you have missed. That I am sure of.
I know that it is scary but girl pull up your big girl panties (my favorite saying) and get out there and live your long and happy life. I know your heart ..and you probably are concerned with how he will be should you leave. but he will be fine..maybe he (the worse half) will get some counceling or try to quit the drunken abusive behavior.. If you continue to let it happen he will never change.
I will be wishing you the best sweetie. luv ya, Jackie0
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