Shut up and Get Back to Work!!!
Comments
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Dear Toninaskytoninasky said:We are such a diversified group of survivors !!!
I am so grateful that mine has been a pretty positive experience, and that I have had so much support from co workers (spoken and unspoken) and from my husband. My daughter is supportive even though she does not talk about it with me. She works for CORE, which is an organ retrieval organization and retrieves organs from donors all over the U.S. I do respect her silence, because I know that her heart is with me in this.
My heart goes out to all who have not had the support we all need. I must say that I am always available if anyone needs to vent. I don't know how many of you have joined Gilda's Club, or if you have one in your area, but they do offer great support and friendship.
I wish us all recovery and peace.
I haven't mentioned it in this post, but I had a son who was 29 years old and died of Esophegeal Cancer caused by Acid Reflux in 2000. He died here at home, where he wanted to be, and his was a positive experience, even though it ended in his death, only because he had every ounce of our beings to support him. And because of our belief in a heavenly home, we are at peace, in the knowlege that he is there, and free from the pain and suffering.
Blessings
I am very much aware of cancer of the esophagus and what a terrible prognosis so many have. He was to young to die but lucky to have good parents.
My best to you,
Doris0 -
Wasn't her surgeon Dr. SusanSIROD said:I DID JUST THAT
Hi Chen,
Hope you are doing ok? You are taking it easy and recovering. I hope you stay on Tamoxifen. Don't let them take you off hormonal therapy to quickly. I had a tumor in the axilla and bone lesions and stayed on Arimidex for 5 years. I was NED in no time.
Three months before I was initially dx, I had minor surgery that turned into a staph infection. I almost died. Antibiotics saved my life but I went on to have two more surgeries, the last did the trick before it was over. Six weeks later I was dx with BC. I had a mastectomy and lymph node dissection after a lumpectomy showed the cancer had spread. I took 10 days off before returning to work. Two weeks later, I took 2 days off (Thursday and Friday), one for the port and the second for the scans and my first chemo. I went to work on Monday.
I had CMF for six months (because my blood didn't recover, it was 3 weeks off between. I never missed a day of work and never left early. I didn't do much that year, work, took care of my only child left at home, did what needed to be done to maintain living. Had my port removed the following month after treatment. I was within 3 weeks from the minor surgery from hell the year before it all began.
I worked, drove my self to radiation treatments (1 hour away travel time) and never took a day off. I also worked weekends as my summer job was starting. That is 7 days a week during radiation!
Super Hero, Super Mom, Super Fool? I was a single mom, so I had to work for health insurance and for that I needed my employment.
What came out of it? I will never do chemotherapy by infusion again. Never! I will bail out! I might take a pill form (if I don't become to sick) after the AI's fail. Never again chemo. I remember the experience as pure hell, I was so tired, exhausted, fatigued.
Do I recommend what I did, absolutely not. It was a horrible year, one I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
Though I still work (I am able to be on SSD) with so many medical problems. Sometimes, I believe if I stop now, I will drop dead immediately from lack of pushing.
I am not familiar with Robin Roberts. Her doctor? He should try the treatment before he recommends anything. I asked my gyn doctor once, if a procedure would hurt. He said, "no", so I inquired how he knew. Well, the books state.... I told him that I would tell him if it hurt and that was by experiencing it.
No you are not out of line, the doctor is a moron.
SIROD
Wasn't her surgeon Dr. Susan Love? I think I remember an interview she did on BC with her.0 -
If it was Dr.Susan Love...Sher43009 said:Wasn't her surgeon Dr. Susan
Wasn't her surgeon Dr. Susan Love? I think I remember an interview she did on BC with her.
Personally, hang me if you must...I can't stand her! I heard her speak just months before I was diagnosed...If I had listened to her advice, I would never have found my bc until perhaps it was more than the stage II that it was...and found less then three months after my annual mammo and ultrasound...her advice was ..." women don't need to do monthly self exams...causes to much anxiety, causes unnecessary testing that is expensive, just do it about every 3 months or so".... heard her say the same thing on the today show while I was going through treatment...I wanted to go through the TV at her! I brought up what she had said to all three of my physicians...ALL said..."Do not follow her advice". But it leaves me wondering how many do and live to regret it....And, personally that's why I have never donated money to her foundation and won't..but this is just me...so again, hang me if you must for disliking her and her advice....
Hugs,
Nancy
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thinking about working vs not workingSher43009 said:Wasn't her surgeon Dr. Susan
Wasn't her surgeon Dr. Susan Love? I think I remember an interview she did on BC with her.
I;m getting ready to make a decision now about working vs not working...I'm on my 6th Taxol treatment annd working three days a week, 4 hours a day...not sure I could do much more...I get very tired....I teach at a community college...today my classes were from 2-6 pm so I got up at 7, put the kids on the bus, took a nap from 10:30-12:30, went to work from 2-6, and now I'm tired. As I'm sure is common, I'm getting more tired as the treatments continue.
The semester ends in May and I'm scheduled to teach twice a week for 3 hours each for the summer session of six weeks..it;s optional so I;m considering whether to do it or not...not teaching would be a money loss since I'd lose my summer pay...but more that the money I'm wondering if mentally I would be better off teaching two days than staying at home all the time...getting out is a good distraction and helps the time pass between chemos...and leaves less time to worry...but I'm concerned that I won;t be able to doing it by mid-May as I would start FEC in early April. More will be revealed, I guess, after I start the FEC and see how that goes.
Good night all!
Laura0 -
I missed GMA, but I have a
I missed GMA, but I have a big problem with anyone downplaying how hard this experience can be both physically and emotionally. I have been extremely fortunate because I work in healthcare and my schedule is incredibly flexible. Even so, now with the mets (and probably age), it is not so easy and I am only on zometa and arimidex right now.
Wouldn't we love to see the Kindred Spirits arrive en masse to GMA and give them the real poop about what goes on.0 -
Funny you should bump thisCypressCynthia said:I missed GMA, but I have a
I missed GMA, but I have a big problem with anyone downplaying how hard this experience can be both physically and emotionally. I have been extremely fortunate because I work in healthcare and my schedule is incredibly flexible. Even so, now with the mets (and probably age), it is not so easy and I am only on zometa and arimidex right now.
Wouldn't we love to see the Kindred Spirits arrive en masse to GMA and give them the real poop about what goes on.
Funny you should bump this up, I am going through alot of stuff at work. I am very depressed and stressed.0 -
I really, really, reallycarkris said:Funny you should bump this
Funny you should bump this up, I am going through alot of stuff at work. I am very depressed and stressed.
I really, really, really HATE you being depressed and stressed. I wish I had The Magic to make whatever ( or more likely WHOMEVER) leave you alone!!! You are so encouraging to me, always in touch with me, always asking about me and keeping my spirits up. I am sending that back to you, sweet Penny. Envelope yourself in the good...
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
to work or not...chenheart said:I really, really, really
I really, really, really HATE you being depressed and stressed. I wish I had The Magic to make whatever ( or more likely WHOMEVER) leave you alone!!! You are so encouraging to me, always in touch with me, always asking about me and keeping my spirits up. I am sending that back to you, sweet Penny. Envelope yourself in the good...
Hugs,
Chen♥
So I am at the point of deciding if I should go to work or not...I had lumpectomy Jan 22nd and got my results on Feb 7th. Had a dr's note that said to go back on Feb 14th. Since the results showed cancer, I had another surg sched'd for Mar 9th...I decided to go back to work - my boss was great...she said I could work as much as I felt ok, I can call in one day & come in the next, or work from home if I want...they have been great. My GP has said...come in and I'll write you a letter to be off for as long as you want...lol.
I am paid regardless - 100% - best medical plan around...up to 6 months of 100% pay for any illness.
But, I was going stir crazy at home...so I went to work on Feb 14th & 15th - I took today off as I was exhausted...my job is very stressful, but I'm used to it...been there for 20+ years.
Now, the date of my surgery has been moved to Feb 24th - next week, so I have to decide do I work next week? I think I'll go in Thurs & Fri but leave at 3 every day...
When and if I do chemo, radiation, I don't know what I'll do...maybe work from home for a few hrs per day...I don't know...I need something to keep my mind working and give me a reason to get up every day...
Any suggestions? Am I just crazy and should stay home...LOL. maybe, sometimes I think so...0 -
each of us are so different!
each of us are so different! I had only radiation...but no side effects at all..but i have read here how bad it can be!0 -
@survivorSurvivor73 said:to work or not...
So I am at the point of deciding if I should go to work or not...I had lumpectomy Jan 22nd and got my results on Feb 7th. Had a dr's note that said to go back on Feb 14th. Since the results showed cancer, I had another surg sched'd for Mar 9th...I decided to go back to work - my boss was great...she said I could work as much as I felt ok, I can call in one day & come in the next, or work from home if I want...they have been great. My GP has said...come in and I'll write you a letter to be off for as long as you want...lol.
I am paid regardless - 100% - best medical plan around...up to 6 months of 100% pay for any illness.
But, I was going stir crazy at home...so I went to work on Feb 14th & 15th - I took today off as I was exhausted...my job is very stressful, but I'm used to it...been there for 20+ years.
Now, the date of my surgery has been moved to Feb 24th - next week, so I have to decide do I work next week? I think I'll go in Thurs & Fri but leave at 3 every day...
When and if I do chemo, radiation, I don't know what I'll do...maybe work from home for a few hrs per day...I don't know...I need something to keep my mind working and give me a reason to get up every day...
Any suggestions? Am I just crazy and should stay home...LOL. maybe, sometimes I think so...
I am envious of you and your job..(it's been almost 3 yrs for me) I took 2 wks off post surgery-i was told i could leave as needed for radiation! That was good for 3 days then I was called in and said USE sick days from now on! My cancer center adjusted my treatments to my lunch hour (I work 10 mins away)so not to use my sick time.
YET at end of year I was written up for abusing my sick time and they KNEW I had CANCER! I will never get over that...ever...HARSH! and I still had about 60 days of sick time left even after my appts etc..etc..and in sick bank!0 -
Ugh!disneyfan2008 said:@survivor
I am envious of you and your job..(it's been almost 3 yrs for me) I took 2 wks off post surgery-i was told i could leave as needed for radiation! That was good for 3 days then I was called in and said USE sick days from now on! My cancer center adjusted my treatments to my lunch hour (I work 10 mins away)so not to use my sick time.
YET at end of year I was written up for abusing my sick time and they KNEW I had CANCER! I will never get over that...ever...HARSH! and I still had about 60 days of sick time left even after my appts etc..etc..and in sick bank!
@Disneyfan2008 -
Does your company have over 50 employees? If they do, they cannot discipline you for taking time off if they know it is for cancer treatment as this would be covered by FMLA (you don't have to specifically ask for FMLA either, you just need to give them enough information for them to know that the absence was due to a serious health condition).
I hate hearing that people are treated this way still today. This is what FMLA was supposed to remedy, but unfortunately it doesn't cover small companies so some companies can still get away with this legally. And it's especially disheartening in this economy where losing your job can be devastating.
Hang in there!!!
Cindy0 -
Keep Calm and Carry on!!
The slogan in the UK during the second world war!
This also reminds me of the leaflet/pamphlet that was in boxes of tampons in the '50s that women should not taking advantage of the fact that they have their menstrual cycle and not do their housework and they should still be 'good' wives and carry on as normal!!!!
Having a life threatening disease and going through one of the toughest treatments IS a big deal and no we don't need to make it into a huge drama. However we do need to recognise when we need the time off AND most importantly really take care of ourselves.
Coming from a female doctor really surprises me, or not, because for many women to make it in their field they need to become/think like men.0 -
Wow!mariam_11_09 said:Keep Calm and Carry on!!
The slogan in the UK during the second world war!
This also reminds me of the leaflet/pamphlet that was in boxes of tampons in the '50s that women should not taking advantage of the fact that they have their menstrual cycle and not do their housework and they should still be 'good' wives and carry on as normal!!!!
Having a life threatening disease and going through one of the toughest treatments IS a big deal and no we don't need to make it into a huge drama. However we do need to recognise when we need the time off AND most importantly really take care of ourselves.
Coming from a female doctor really surprises me, or not, because for many women to make it in their field they need to become/think like men.
Chen, that was a nice historical look at CSN. Loved seeing some names I haven't seen here for a while. As far as work goes, it makes me mad that someone who has not been through it personally can undertake to speak for how cancer patients SHOULD feel. There are some who do "get back to work" right away. Some of them are fine doing it and some are doing it out of a misguided notion that suffering makes them morally weak. Patients who take time off should not be made to feel lazy or less than. I hate that taking care of ourselves is often seen as a weakness in our culture. My oncologist told me I should look into short term disability. In the end, I didn't, but I took time off as needed. Not everyone gets this luxury and it's a shame.
I was in a cancer seminar once where a woman (NOT a survivor) claimed that chemo brain was not real. It's just getting older, she claimed. I can tell you, the survivors in the room quickly let her know what they thought! I think sometimes doctors refuse to acknowlege the true costs of cancer treatment. It's sad.
Mimi0 -
well over 50...cindycflynn said:Ugh!
@Disneyfan2008 -
Does your company have over 50 employees? If they do, they cannot discipline you for taking time off if they know it is for cancer treatment as this would be covered by FMLA (you don't have to specifically ask for FMLA either, you just need to give them enough information for them to know that the absence was due to a serious health condition).
I hate hearing that people are treated this way still today. This is what FMLA was supposed to remedy, but unfortunately it doesn't cover small companies so some companies can still get away with this legally. And it's especially disheartening in this economy where losing your job can be devastating.
Hang in there!!!
Cindy
They did send me info on FMLA but I DID not fill it out. I had more then enough sick time etc.-but when it all started they said dont' worry just do what you must..I was so so happy. After the 3rd day said YOU MUST use sick days we can't JUSTIFY paying someone to cover you. (I am receptionist and @ hour someone else comes to my desk-they all dont' like to so only 1-2 willing to help me in my time of need) when written UP on my annual review...i heard is illegal...no verbal or written prior...they did everything wrong..
after the fact I went (OVER HOUR away) to support group ref: employer/employees rights!
I ONLY missed 2 wks..+ misc appt for dr...and then did all my radiation on lunch-never missed a day. when I was shown reveiw..I said " YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH"...AND STARTED TO CRY...only comment I got was "dont' be made at me-I dont' like people mad at me" ----turned it around to HER!0 -
letter from Dr...officecindycflynn said:Ugh!
@Disneyfan2008 -
Does your company have over 50 employees? If they do, they cannot discipline you for taking time off if they know it is for cancer treatment as this would be covered by FMLA (you don't have to specifically ask for FMLA either, you just need to give them enough information for them to know that the absence was due to a serious health condition).
I hate hearing that people are treated this way still today. This is what FMLA was supposed to remedy, but unfortunately it doesn't cover small companies so some companies can still get away with this legally. And it's especially disheartening in this economy where losing your job can be devastating.
Hang in there!!!
Cindy
VERY VERY detailed..I was really like wow so much personal privacy...but form had to be filled out....
Cindyflynn: so if I did not fill out for FMLA "they still must adjust my work day if needed?"0 -
I'm not going back to workmimivac said:Wow!
Chen, that was a nice historical look at CSN. Loved seeing some names I haven't seen here for a while. As far as work goes, it makes me mad that someone who has not been through it personally can undertake to speak for how cancer patients SHOULD feel. There are some who do "get back to work" right away. Some of them are fine doing it and some are doing it out of a misguided notion that suffering makes them morally weak. Patients who take time off should not be made to feel lazy or less than. I hate that taking care of ourselves is often seen as a weakness in our culture. My oncologist told me I should look into short term disability. In the end, I didn't, but I took time off as needed. Not everyone gets this luxury and it's a shame.
I was in a cancer seminar once where a woman (NOT a survivor) claimed that chemo brain was not real. It's just getting older, she claimed. I can tell you, the survivors in the room quickly let her know what they thought! I think sometimes doctors refuse to acknowlege the true costs of cancer treatment. It's sad.
Mimi
I decided today that I tried and just can't do it. I wasn't sleeping and I figured out only the nights prior to going to work did I not sleep - so I assume it was anxiety related to work that was causing this.
I'm noticing a lot of anxiety symptoms so I'm better off staying home...I need to stay calm and focus on myself...Monday is family day, so I'll hang with the family...I'll have Tuesday to relax, then Wed I get the radioactive dye and lymph node surgery on Thursday....that's my week next week...:)
I'm much better now that I'm home and not having to go back to work. Thank goodness for my health plan...:)
Take care all...0 -
I think post chemo the wordsSurvivor73 said:I'm not going back to work
I decided today that I tried and just can't do it. I wasn't sleeping and I figured out only the nights prior to going to work did I not sleep - so I assume it was anxiety related to work that was causing this.
I'm noticing a lot of anxiety symptoms so I'm better off staying home...I need to stay calm and focus on myself...Monday is family day, so I'll hang with the family...I'll have Tuesday to relax, then Wed I get the radioactive dye and lymph node surgery on Thursday....that's my week next week...:)
I'm much better now that I'm home and not having to go back to work. Thank goodness for my health plan...:)
Take care all...
I think post chemo the words I hate lately "You look good" It is such a disconnect between the way you look and feel sometimes. and people believe what they see. If you complain you are whiney, if you dont you are fine.
I had a tough time with chemo, was basically debilitated, dizzy, sick etc.. and climbing out of that hole into work feels like an uphill climb. I have no energy to do anything but work, and I suffer from awful insomnia. I worked today and i should be sleeping but i am wide awake. My feet are so painful (neuropathy). I have neuropathy up to my knees. I think I might go nuts not working, but am so sick of being in pain and exhausted. When do we stop sucking it up I wonder and what is wrong with me that I just flog myself this way. I think I am ever hopeful, that I will feel better soon.
anyway, I think working depends on how the chemo personally affects you, age, health history, and what kind of job you do.
Sorry to complain here, other people just dont get it!!!!! I just feel angry, frustrated and dissapointed. I just felt so much better before I started working! anyway rant over, tomorrow is another day, or its tomorrow already isnt it. LOL!!!!0 -
mimi-mimivac said:Wow!
Chen, that was a nice historical look at CSN. Loved seeing some names I haven't seen here for a while. As far as work goes, it makes me mad that someone who has not been through it personally can undertake to speak for how cancer patients SHOULD feel. There are some who do "get back to work" right away. Some of them are fine doing it and some are doing it out of a misguided notion that suffering makes them morally weak. Patients who take time off should not be made to feel lazy or less than. I hate that taking care of ourselves is often seen as a weakness in our culture. My oncologist told me I should look into short term disability. In the end, I didn't, but I took time off as needed. Not everyone gets this luxury and it's a shame.
I was in a cancer seminar once where a woman (NOT a survivor) claimed that chemo brain was not real. It's just getting older, she claimed. I can tell you, the survivors in the room quickly let her know what they thought! I think sometimes doctors refuse to acknowlege the true costs of cancer treatment. It's sad.
Mimi
YOU are right...! ON many topics you hit...
I was fortunate enough to work the whole time I had radiation! (no thanks for my employer) Thankfully I HAD NO side effects from radiation! Why was the non survior at this seminar? family member?
I went to support group and lady worked with many side effects etc. thought she was doing the right thing to NOT be weak...! She was no further ahead...sadly..0 -
Do what you gotta do...Survivor73 said:I'm not going back to work
I decided today that I tried and just can't do it. I wasn't sleeping and I figured out only the nights prior to going to work did I not sleep - so I assume it was anxiety related to work that was causing this.
I'm noticing a lot of anxiety symptoms so I'm better off staying home...I need to stay calm and focus on myself...Monday is family day, so I'll hang with the family...I'll have Tuesday to relax, then Wed I get the radioactive dye and lymph node surgery on Thursday....that's my week next week...:)
I'm much better now that I'm home and not having to go back to work. Thank goodness for my health plan...:)
Take care all...
what ever works best for you...
HOPE YOU feel better...i'll be thinking of you...on Thursday...0
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