Shut up and Get Back to Work!!!

chenheart

Traci,
I posted this a few YEARS ago, after Robin had surgery and treatment~ it is in regards to her Doctor who opined that chemo etc is almost easy, and can pretty much be scheduled in to fit anyone's life. BALDERDASH! This was not an indictment about Robin of course, as anyone dx'd instantly becomes part of the Family of Kindred Spirits. Interesting that she is validating the human feelings so many of us have. Thanks for posting about the article. I was featured a few years ago in one of Prevention magazines sister publications in an article called "You Have Cancer." Interesting experience...Hugs,
Chen♥



Did any of you see Robin Roberts' surgeon on GMA this morning? Robin returned to work 10 days after Breast Ca surgery, and subsequent treatment was being discussed. And whereas I imagine the Dr was trying to empower women and not contribute to the "lay down and die" attitude~she infuriated me! She was so cavalier in saying that we can schedule our Chemotherapy for Fridays, rest up over the weekend, and go back to work every Monday with no one being the wiser! Ditto regarding radiation~schedule it before or after work, or maybe during lunch, and wow! No one even needs to know!!!
That may be fine in some cases, but considering the 31000+ postings on this site alone, I would say the majority of us have not exactly skated through treatment! This attitude fed right into the topic I brought up a few days ago~that in many famiies, there is no empathy or support. Can you imagine the potential damage this might do to those of us who already live with the "Get Over It" attitude at home? Just when we thought it was safe to go back in the water....here comes an expert telling us we can work, smile, and be surrounded by all things positive! As one of the posters to the GMA site mentioned, with no disrspect to Robin~she has no husband, no children, has a job sitting infront of a camera, GREAT insurance, and a world of support! I know I wish Robin a full and complete recovery, just as I wish all of us. But her DR...shame on her for her less than empathetic attitude!
Am I out of line here? What do YOU think???

jmears

Hi - I agree that a Doctor should not have such a cavelier attitude about the issues that go with the DX and treatment of BC. I actually did go back to work two weeks after a lumpectomy and worked through chemo and radiation when I had my first diagnosis of breast cancer. I did miss work for treatments ...Dr keep the same hours most businesses do ... they don't have evening hours!!! Plus ...when you loose your hair ... even the best of wigs can't fool everyone. Besides ... why not let everyone know that you are battling breat cancer. Opens some peoples eyes. Since my first DX I have encountered numerous BC survivors ... some worked throughout, some took leave some just quit working all together. Now, 4 years later I find out it came back to my bones. There is no surgery but I do have a lot of treatments and tests. I am working still (mostly because I have to for insurance ... my husband is self employed) and I think the stress of working and managing the treatments is BAD. I still wonder if working is a contributor to the BC because of the stress. Anyway .. I think if you can not work during treatment you should not!!!! I wish I could quit working now and enjoy the rest of my life without the stress of battling traffic, deadlines, reviews, office politics and all that. But...money and insurance are needed so.. what can I do. Well, to everyone out there working or not working .... battle on!!! We can still fight the good fight against this beast!!! Best wishes to all!

babs49242

I just missed her surgeon,some how I was in lala land. What kind of surgery was it,lumpectomy or mastectomy?I never really heard. I think there is a BIG difference in recovery time between the two. I tried that,,scheduling my chemo on fridays..didn't work..I ran into problems and things got harried!
I decided to NOT work. It was worth it. It was nice of my employer to pay for my insurance while I was off. I bet if it happened again to someone there they would not pay for the insurance.
If I had a dr like Robin's I think I would change! My dr wanted me to NOT work and kept writing medical excuses for me. also my Radiation dr. There was no way that I could have worked, the chemo drained me to no end.
Wonder what tmrw will bring,,guess I will have to STAY awake after getting up!
Like you had mentioned ,Chen, my family has the attitude that it never happened.
There is a segment on ABC nightly news on going back to work and how it helped these survivors get thru the hoopla....we all can not be that way. I am glad I didn't work.!
Bunches of hugs from Babs

kbc4869

I did not see the interview, but am irratated by what you're saying she said. If you can work -- GREAT. Some of us do and it helps keep your mind off of things. On the other hand, some need to take it easy if they're having a hard time and should not be made to feel that they just aren't as strong as they should be.

I returned to work 3 days after my lumpectomy and probably should not have. I also worked through chemo and rads. I am very proud of that fact. However, it took me over two years to recover and feel human again. I often wonder if my recovery period would have been shorter had I taken better care of myself during treatment. Oh well. No regrets.

Bottom Line: we're all different. Let's listen to our bodies and forget about these idiots!

Take good care, Ladies! Fight on.

toninasky

Well, I have to disagree with you. I had a lumpectomy followed by 4 AC, and 6 Taxol treatments, and then 38 radiation treatments. I did work thru it all. I returned to work 12 days after my surgery, and scheduled all of my chemo treatments for Friday mornings. When the treatment was over my husband and I went to lunch and a movie. My co workers were very supportive thru it all, even the fact that I wore a hat most times because I hated the wig.
I don't think it is wrong to let women know that it does not have to be the horror story, and that perhaps her message with save someone who was watching that show who has been afraid to go to a doctor. I think going into treatment with a positive attitude helps soooo much. I did have problems, my pancreas, and liver, and gall bladder shut down after treatment 5 of Taxol, and I spent 10 days in the hospital in a great deal of discomfort. I chose not to let that stop my attitude from being positive. I say hurray to Robin's doctor, and to her, and I say to all who have had bad times with treatment, you do have this site for support and just hang in there. Life hands out some sour cherries sometimes, but we have to go on and hope for a sweeter life on the way.

Blessing to all

seof

I am relatively new to this, and I am planning to go back to work Monday. I work in a Public School as a Speech Pathologist and I have very supportive administrators and coworkers. Not everyone in the school knows about my cancer, but my fellow Speech Pahtologists, and those administrators I am directly responsible to (campus Prinicipal and Special Education directors) are aware because they need to know my chemo/Dr. visit schedules. I think cancer is a very individual thing. Wether to work or not to work depends on your own physical condition, your work environment and support or lack thereof at work, and your own psychological make-up. For me the chemo has had very few side effects, so I feel I have the energy to do the work I need to do. I also have another SLP on the same campus, so we can coordinate our schedules together. If I start having more trouble, I have some flexibility and options of doing work from home. If I was not doing as well physically, and did not feel like my team at work was as supportive, I would very likely not go to work, though the loss of my paycheck would mean major changes in family finances. My insurance is through my spouse's job, so it would not be affected...I am fortunate with that.

As far as talking to Drs: I had a bad initial reaction to my Oncologist when we were first talking about initial diagnosis and possibly going back to work because I felt like he was saying, "You silly person, you should not even be thinking about how this will impact your job, don't you know cancer is a serious disease? Your sole aim needs to be dealing with cancer!" I felt like saying, "My Sister died of cancer, Dr. know-it-all, I am well aware of the seriousness of my condition. I am also well aware that I am not dead yet, and I do not intend to act like it till I am!" I held my tongue till I had time to reflect and talk to the Surgeon (who was much more encouraging about the possiblities of working while doing treatments) and I talked to several survivors and family members of survivors I know in our church who worked during all or part of treatment, as well as some who did not choose to do so. I have read many stories on this site and talked to many people and have yet to hear any 2 survivors stories that are alike. Express your concerns to those you trust. When and if you feel it will improve your communication with the Dr. try to find a postive (or at least polite) way to let her know your feelings about returning to work and the reasons for it...and that you do not have the "lay down and die" attitude (I've read some of your letters on this site, I know you don't have that), but you are'nt one of the "this is not going to affect me at all" extremes either.
Keep on standing up for yourself... only you know what you need most.

SEOF

seof

this is seof. I did not see the show, but it does sound like the Dr. may be too extreme in trying to be positive. I had the opposite issue in the initial attempts at communication with my Oncologist. I like my job and was concerned that I may have to quit or work part-time, or something. When I voiced my concerns to him at the beginning, I heard a response that sounded to me at the time something along the lines, "You crazy lady, don't you know you have a serious disease...not just a common cold. You need to concentrate on cancer, don't even think about work!" I may have everreacted to what he was saying and may not have heard what he intended, but I felt like saying, "I am not at idiot, Dr. Know-it-all. My sister died of breast cancer, I think I know how serious it is, but I am not dead yet, and I do not intend to act like I am until I have to, so there!" My wise husband helped me to hold my tongue until more time had passed and I had time to talk to the Surgeon and calmly reflect. Future visits and persistent questioning on my part (I am a Speech Pathologist after all, we are quite good at being persistent in attempts to communicate until we are satisfied)have led to better relationship. I do plan to go back to work when school starts, but then I am feeling good (chemo has had few side effects) and I have very supportive colleagues and administrators who are willing to be flexible with my Dr. schedules and workloads, etc. I believe each cancer survivor is an individual with individual needs and unique circumstances. We each need to be our own advocates and let people, even Drs. know what we need and how they are and are not being helpful to us.

I appreciate reading what you post here. Keep it up!
seof

jmears

Great string! I am glad you brought it up. I like what everyone is saying and the bottom line is do what you need to do for yourself. I do get concerned that the "public" doesn't really know how each individual may feel. Like I said earlier I continue to work throught my treatment but if one of my co-workers have to deal with it I don't want anyone to compare them to me. They have issues of their own and that is what the Doctors should "publicly" emphasize. Just because one can doesn't mean the other isn't trying just as hard to beat it! Anyway ... thanks again for starting this string.

chenheart

seof said:

this is seof. I did not see the show, but it does sound like the Dr. may be too extreme in trying to be positive. I had the opposite issue in the initial attempts at communication with my Oncologist. I like my job and was concerned that I may have to quit or work part-time, or something. When I voiced my concerns to him at the beginning, I heard a response that sounded to me at the time something along the lines, "You crazy lady, don't you know you have a serious disease...not just a common cold. You need to concentrate on cancer, don't even think about work!" I may have everreacted to what he was saying and may not have heard what he intended, but I felt like saying, "I am not at idiot, Dr. Know-it-all. My sister died of breast cancer, I think I know how serious it is, but I am not dead yet, and I do not intend to act like I am until I have to, so there!" My wise husband helped me to hold my tongue until more time had passed and I had time to talk to the Surgeon and calmly reflect. Future visits and persistent questioning on my part (I am a Speech Pathologist after all, we are quite good at being persistent in attempts to communicate until we are satisfied)have led to better relationship. I do plan to go back to work when school starts, but then I am feeling good (chemo has had few side effects) and I have very supportive colleagues and administrators who are willing to be flexible with my Dr. schedules and workloads, etc. I believe each cancer survivor is an individual with individual needs and unique circumstances. We each need to be our own advocates and let people, even Drs. know what we need and how they are and are not being helpful to us.

I appreciate reading what you post here. Keep it up!
seof

I should have known!! :-) I am so relieved to know that many of us have had positive experiences regarding treatment and work. My concern, after coming in here as well as chat, was that the "one size fits all" approach would negatively impact those who do NOT have understanding employers or families. If we fall into the bracket of not feeling well post surgery, chemo or radiation, and our employers saw the GMA piece, perhaps they would not be understanding of our needing time off. (and didn't one of us lose her job for that very reason??) To those who can go right back to work, I stand up and applaud you! As as survivor myself, I know that cancer isn't a crime, nor does it discriminate. My concern was not so much about going back to work . I worked as much as possible during treatment as well. My concern is that we not have a cookie cutter approach to it. And that our families and employers know that we are individuals with individual needs~despite what a surgeon says on a nationally broadcast morning show!

Unknown

Hey chen and everyone....
This one really makes my blood boil because of a personal experience during treatment.
A man whose wife was also battling breast cancer at the time I was told my then-husband that...and I quote here (as my then-husband reported it to me)..."breast cancer is just no big deal". When my then-husband related that statement to me in a tone that gave me to understand that he agreed...well it was all I could do not to excuse them both from the human race....permanently.
It doesn't matter whether or not Ms X is able to work during treatment, or whether or not she needs help with meals, child care, etc., or whether or not she is in bed for 3 days after every treatment (me). What matters is that we are all in the fight of our lives FOR our lives and A GIRL'S GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRL'S GOTTA DO. Period. And if those around her (doctors included) can not find it in themselves to help and support her in WHATEVER decisions she makes, then that person or people has no right to even be in her life. (You will notice I have been referring to him as my THEN-HUSBAND...LOL). Well thanks for listening.
My blood pressure is almost back to normal now. :-)

toninasky

We are such a diversified group of survivors !!!
I am so grateful that mine has been a pretty positive experience, and that I have had so much support from co workers (spoken and unspoken) and from my husband. My daughter is supportive even though she does not talk about it with me. She works for CORE, which is an organ retrieval organization and retrieves organs from donors all over the U.S. I do respect her silence, because I know that her heart is with me in this.
My heart goes out to all who have not had the support we all need. I must say that I am always available if anyone needs to vent. I don't know how many of you have joined Gilda's Club, or if you have one in your area, but they do offer great support and friendship.

I wish us all recovery and peace.

I haven't mentioned it in this post, but I had a son who was 29 years old and died of Esophegeal Cancer caused by Acid Reflux in 2000. He died here at home, where he wanted to be, and his was a positive experience, even though it ended in his death, only because he had every ounce of our beings to support him. And because of our belief in a heavenly home, we are at peace, in the knowlege that he is there, and free from the pain and suffering.
Blessings

chenheart

toninasky said:

We are such a diversified group of survivors !!!
I am so grateful that mine has been a pretty positive experience, and that I have had so much support from co workers (spoken and unspoken) and from my husband. My daughter is supportive even though she does not talk about it with me. She works for CORE, which is an organ retrieval organization and retrieves organs from donors all over the U.S. I do respect her silence, because I know that her heart is with me in this.
My heart goes out to all who have not had the support we all need. I must say that I am always available if anyone needs to vent. I don't know how many of you have joined Gilda's Club, or if you have one in your area, but they do offer great support and friendship.

I wish us all recovery and peace.

I haven't mentioned it in this post, but I had a son who was 29 years old and died of Esophegeal Cancer caused by Acid Reflux in 2000. He died here at home, where he wanted to be, and his was a positive experience, even though it ended in his death, only because he had every ounce of our beings to support him. And because of our belief in a heavenly home, we are at peace, in the knowlege that he is there, and free from the pain and suffering.
Blessings

Thank you for sharing your story~and you are so fortunate to have had support from all avenues in your life. Wish it were so for every one of us! My concern was just that DR.s NOT treat us in cookie-cutter fashion, and and that we be allowed to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually in our own way without feeling less than someone else, or guilty for not recouping as quickly as the person in the next cubicle, across the street, or on TV!

And whereas I am so saddened to hear of your young son's passing; how blessed you all were to be together, and share a hope in common. That must have been an immeasurable comfort for all of you.
Hugs,
Claudia

Kitty3571

This topic has obviously hit home for several people including myself - I took 2 weeks off work after my surgery for lumpectomy, had 4 rounds of A&C, 6 of Taxol (had to stop early) and 36 rads - I worked through it all - Even worked till Noon on Friday's then went for Chemo, back to work on Monday (sickly) Everyone outside the office (friends/family) were like "oh, you are working"??? My thought was "well yes, I don't have a choice" Although my insurance is also through my husbands employer, I am the bread winner and that added pressure for me to continue to work because we simply just couldn't afford for me to take any time off - No disability insurance - My employer was wonderful throughout the entire thing, very supportive & understanding but a year and a half later when I'm finally finished treatments I'm still having to take off here and there for follow-up appointments and I can't help but think that my employer is thinking "when will she be normal again"??? I know that is probably not the case, just me being paranoid I guess - My husband sometimes completely dismisses that this ever happened to me, he just wants to move on I guess - I know it all scares him and he just doesn't deal well with it - So I have to be strong and move on myself but I'm finding a hard time getting back to a "normal life" - What is that? Did I ever have it? I find myself constantly reading survivors stories and getting on this website - which helps to vent to people who have been there/done that and truly understand my feelings - I guess I'll just continue taking each day as it comes and find the courage to not be afaid to live on. Thanks for listening! Kitty

roxanne53

HI there all.
I did not get to listen to the doctor for Robin. I did hear she was back on TV for work 10 days later. All I thought is> that is going to make us who have rough times with all this treatment (s) look like mamby pambies. Too cavalier just by herself coming back.
Sounded like cake walk. May be for her but not for me.
I did have to work some of the time to keep my insurance, job, and etc. I worked when I could called part time intermittent thankfully due to the family medical leave act. Still got some of the discriminatory remarks. Stressful times.
not a cake walk for all. So not one size fits all.

Well there
Roxanne53

kbc4869

Kitty3571 said:

This topic has obviously hit home for several people including myself - I took 2 weeks off work after my surgery for lumpectomy, had 4 rounds of A&C, 6 of Taxol (had to stop early) and 36 rads - I worked through it all - Even worked till Noon on Friday's then went for Chemo, back to work on Monday (sickly) Everyone outside the office (friends/family) were like "oh, you are working"??? My thought was "well yes, I don't have a choice" Although my insurance is also through my husbands employer, I am the bread winner and that added pressure for me to continue to work because we simply just couldn't afford for me to take any time off - No disability insurance - My employer was wonderful throughout the entire thing, very supportive & understanding but a year and a half later when I'm finally finished treatments I'm still having to take off here and there for follow-up appointments and I can't help but think that my employer is thinking "when will she be normal again"??? I know that is probably not the case, just me being paranoid I guess - My husband sometimes completely dismisses that this ever happened to me, he just wants to move on I guess - I know it all scares him and he just doesn't deal well with it - So I have to be strong and move on myself but I'm finding a hard time getting back to a "normal life" - What is that? Did I ever have it? I find myself constantly reading survivors stories and getting on this website - which helps to vent to people who have been there/done that and truly understand my feelings - I guess I'll just continue taking each day as it comes and find the courage to not be afaid to live on. Thanks for listening! Kitty

Hi Kitty -- I can completely relate to your feelings. After working through treatment, I found that the year and half that followed was harder on me and I too got the feeling that my supervisors and some peers thought that I was "milking" my condition when I had to take time off. The response I had that I think made some of them understand (not all) was that -- Yes -- there are a lot of sick and tired people out there and many of them just "shut up and work." However, the difference between normal sick and tired and cancer sick and tired is the lack of adreniline. That reserve of adrenenline that pushes many on when they don't feel great just wasn't there for me. It's not that my will wasn't strong enough. I was a flat line.

The good news is it does get better. At the three year mark, I do feel human again and have that adreniline back. I get more tired than I used to but am able to push on regardless.

As far as your husband not wanting to deal with it -- I hear ya. We never discuss "it." And I gave up trying. He's just not capable of ever understanding that reoccurance is always in the back of my mind. Especially when you have a young child that needs you so desperately. That's why these types of forums are so important -- we need to stick together. Take care!

Kim

babs49242

roxanne53 said:

HI there all.
I did not get to listen to the doctor for Robin. I did hear she was back on TV for work 10 days later. All I thought is> that is going to make us who have rough times with all this treatment (s) look like mamby pambies. Too cavalier just by herself coming back.
Sounded like cake walk. May be for her but not for me.
I did have to work some of the time to keep my insurance, job, and etc. I worked when I could called part time intermittent thankfully due to the family medical leave act. Still got some of the discriminatory remarks. Stressful times.
not a cake walk for all. So not one size fits all.

Well there
Roxanne53

I am glad I had AFLAC when I went thru this hoopla.

cookiewookie

All I know is that for me, there was no way I couuld have been working through my treatment, let alone after my surgery. And with the radiation, while i didnt get the fatigue most people experience it was not an easy thing to have to do. Did Robin ever say what type of bc she had or the type of surgery? Everyone is different and for her to assume that we could all do what she did is ridiculous! Chen, you are NOT out of line with your post!

chenheart

cookiewookie said:

All I know is that for me, there was no way I couuld have been working through my treatment, let alone after my surgery. And with the radiation, while i didnt get the fatigue most people experience it was not an easy thing to have to do. Did Robin ever say what type of bc she had or the type of surgery? Everyone is different and for her to assume that we could all do what she did is ridiculous! Chen, you are NOT out of line with your post!

Thank you all for "vindicating" my feelings about this, fellow warriors! The GMA boards were also inundated with those who wished Robin well, but chastised her DR. I was remembering that it was the Neulasta shots which really wiped me out during chemo. All 206 bones in my body ached so horribly that I needed help to raise my head up from my pillow, and I also needed assistance to get to the bathroom. Had I not been self-employed, I shudder to think how that would have been possible in an office setting! Breeze right through treatment, my eye! LOL
Thanks, Strong Women! We will continue to do battle, and come out victorious against this beast called Cancer. Thanks so much for your feedback and support. I love you all.
Claudia

chenheart

Bumping this up...I
Bumping this up...I originally wrote this in OMG 2007!!! Where has the time flown????

phoenixrising

chenheart said:

Bumping this up...I
Bumping this up...I originally wrote this in OMG 2007!!! Where has the time flown????

Your timing is perfect!! Did
Your timing is perfect!! Did she sail through her tx like expected? I'm afraid I missed that part.

SIROD

I DID JUST THAT
Hi Chen,

Hope you are doing ok? You are taking it easy and recovering. I hope you stay on Tamoxifen. Don't let them take you off hormonal therapy to quickly. I had a tumor in the axilla and bone lesions and stayed on Arimidex for 5 years. I was NED in no time.

Three months before I was initially dx, I had minor surgery that turned into a staph infection. I almost died. Antibiotics saved my life but I went on to have two more surgeries, the last did the trick before it was over. Six weeks later I was dx with BC. I had a mastectomy and lymph node dissection after a lumpectomy showed the cancer had spread. I took 10 days off before returning to work. Two weeks later, I took 2 days off (Thursday and Friday), one for the port and the second for the scans and my first chemo. I went to work on Monday.

I had CMF for six months (because my blood didn't recover, it was 3 weeks off between. I never missed a day of work and never left early. I didn't do much that year, work, took care of my only child left at home, did what needed to be done to maintain living. Had my port removed the following month after treatment. I was within 3 weeks from the minor surgery from hell the year before it all began.

I worked, drove my self to radiation treatments (1 hour away travel time) and never took a day off. I also worked weekends as my summer job was starting. That is 7 days a week during radiation!

Super Hero, Super Mom, Super Fool? I was a single mom, so I had to work for health insurance and for that I needed my employment.

What came out of it? I will never do chemotherapy by infusion again. Never! I will bail out! I might take a pill form (if I don't become to sick) after the AI's fail. Never again chemo. I remember the experience as pure hell, I was so tired, exhausted, fatigued.

Do I recommend what I did, absolutely not. It was a horrible year, one I wouldn't recommend to anyone.

Though I still work (I am able to be on SSD) with so many medical problems. Sometimes, I believe if I stop now, I will drop dead immediately from lack of pushing.

I am not familiar with Robin Roberts. Her doctor? He should try the treatment before he recommends anything. I asked my gyn doctor once, if a procedure would hurt. He said, "no", so I inquired how he knew. Well, the books state.... I told him that I would tell him if it hurt and that was by experiencing it.

No you are not out of line, the doctor is a moron.

SIROD