Young *Single* Cancer Survivors

13

Comments

  • Eric65
    Eric65 Member Posts: 125 Member
    #42
    Chemo_Princess said:

    Dumped
    That is just wrong! But it's better to find out exactly how people are early on. I do not hide the fact that I have cancer. I would love to meet my prince charming and live happily ever after, but now I doubt that will happen. I'll just have to see if it's in Gods plan for me...
    Blessings to all of you!

    Chemo Princess, You go Girl
    You took the words right outta my Keyboard, hang in there!
  • Eric65
    Eric65 Member Posts: 125 Member
    #43
    survEYEve said:

    I've been reading through
    I've been reading through what you cool folks have been saying, and glad that relationships have worked out great for some, whereas others...well, nothing really surprises me anymore. My story fits in the latter - I was dating someone for about 9 mos, and I told her everything even before getting involved. She wasn't scared away or anything. But around the 8th month, I'm going to a follow-up w/the eye specialist in a few days, and let know that although I'm not paranoid or thinking about it constantly, it's on my mind. Her reply was 'well, I can't help you.' A little backstory - at the time, she was clearly not happy w/work, and related issues like money, and so I decided not to get too wrapped up in each and every thing said, and just be on alert if I start really getting the vibe that she can no longer be cool about it. About a month later, in general, I'm starting to doubt the future of the relationship, for other reasons really. She started showing lots of anger and acted meaner. I had a follow-up w/the regular onc. coming up, and again, let her know that these tend to be stressful. She asked 'how many more of these do you have?' I told her 'the rest of my life,' and she didn't appear to be ok w/that. Not long after that, we split.

    Hey Bud
    Sounds to me like you're better off. Just put it all in God's hands and you'll be amazed.
  • Eric65
    Eric65 Member Posts: 125 Member
    #44
    survEYEve said:

    Hey, Eric, I'm Eric, too.
    Hey, Eric, I'm Eric, too. Your 'about me' was well said. We got eachothers' backs here.

    Ob La Di, Ob La Da, Life Goes On
    Just so you all don't feel pregnant, here's an update:
    After going out for a month with a girl that new about my condition a new "mass" showed in a follow up CAT Scan and long story short, I'm gonna be saving some dough!
  • survEYEve
    survEYEve Member Posts: 8
    #45
    Eric65 said:

    Ob La Di, Ob La Da, Life Goes On
    Just so you all don't feel pregnant, here's an update:
    After going out for a month with a girl that new about my condition a new "mass" showed in a follow up CAT Scan and long story short, I'm gonna be saving some dough!

    Nice title, from the
    Nice title, from the Beatles' White Album.

    I'm gonna have to give back your words of wisdom to me: 'looks like you're better off...'
  • karenrn6
    karenrn6 Member Posts: 3
    #46
    I started a facebook group
    I started a facebook group called single cancer survivors
  • lauren379
    lauren379 Member Posts: 5
    #47
    Perstephanie said:

    How about young got dumped
    How about young got dumped in the middle of having cancer because of the symptoms of a condition directly related to your cancer survivors?

    But I'm not bitter.

    ;) Wait, yes I am.

    how bout you got dumped and cheated on
    about a month after diagnosis (breast cancer) my live in boyfriend moved out, although we remained together I knew something was up. And a week after my double mastectomy, I found out he has been cheating on me with another girl for a few months now! Not trying to have one up on you, just letting you know it sucks and I know!!! I really want to focus on myself and my treatment and getting better but all I can do is be depressed (i just found out about the cheating two days ago). I really want to snap out of it but I cant. My friends and family are not really supportive either, they call to talk but no one ever asks me to do things and go places. So i sit at home every day and every night...alone! Im so bored and depressed and dont know what to do. Anyone out there in a similar situation and want to talk?
  • 3TimeChamp
    3TimeChamp Member Posts: 4
    #48
    chrismn said:

    Michael, you're not alone man. I wonder in what ways people think of me differently now. Some people I've met this past year don't even know I have cancer, they haven't had the guts to ask why I have 3 long scars on my cheek and neck, I have no problem telling them if they ask, but I don't go around making sure everyone knows. I'm getting off the topic. I'd like to hear what other people think about young cancer survivors, we obviously carry a little more baggage than most people would like to deal with, in my opinion at least. I'd really love to hear what you all have to say on this, thanks.

    Good Excuse
    I just say my scars on my chest etc are hickeys. Most people believe me.
  • ajadestar
    ajadestar Member Posts: 7
    #49
    srisko said:

    I was diagnosed in 1990 at
    I was diagnosed in 1990 at age five. When I was going through public school I only had two good friends. It wasn't until 7th grade when I transferd to a special needs school would I make more friends. I have never, ever had a boyfriend, or been on a date or anything. I look fine, when I tell people I had cancer they're really shocked because I don't look like I've been sick. I feel like I'm not pretty enough for guys if I've never had a boyfriend, and its so hard when you're 24 years old and have never been kissed. I'm in my last year of college so that may be a factor. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm a simple girl, I don't need much to be happy, I just can't find any guys who feel the same way.

    I had Ganglionuroblastoma at
    I had Ganglionuroblastoma at the age of two. As a result I walked on my tippy toes and the docs kept me in horrible leg braces and cast for years. (Never correcting the problem might I had.) I had very very few friends in school. Children can be so cruel. As a result I didnt have boyfriends eaither. As I grew up tho, I worked with myself, n' am now able to walk pretty normal with just a slight limp. I did not grow up with the pride of being a cancer survior. Now as an adult I have that pride. But sharing it is a different story. When I tell people they start looking at me and treating me differently. Like with pity and like I still have it and am so fragile. But its been 27 years. So I still dont really say much. But then people start asking why I limp and if Im ok. Or guys will ask about the scar I have that literally cuts my abdomen in half. I dont want a boyfriend that feels pity for me. I just want to be looked at like everyone else. Not like Im gonna fall apart at any minute.
  • Marvusman
    Marvusman Member Posts: 22
    #50
    You seem really sweet &
    Though cancer hasn't changed how I feel about myself physically or emotionally it has changed what I want in a woman. I would love to date another survivor because there is no stronger common bond than having both walked down that dark flaming hallway that is cancer. It's something that can't be imagined or conveyed but must be experienced. To really love someone you have to be able to respect them and even admire them. It's unfortunate and shouldn't be this way but for me I can't look up to or admire anyone who hasn't battled for their life. I want a woman I can sit back and breathe out a deep breath of admiration for. I want to look at my partner and see warrior and only a cancer survivor can truly wear that often over-used label. I am in awe with all who have survived and prospered and I would not date anyone who hasn't. I also would want someone who ahs the same fire and zest for life I do and having battled is one way to ensure that it's present.
  • Marvusman
    Marvusman Member Posts: 22
    #51
    survEYEve said:

    I've been reading through
    I've been reading through what you cool folks have been saying, and glad that relationships have worked out great for some, whereas others...well, nothing really surprises me anymore. My story fits in the latter - I was dating someone for about 9 mos, and I told her everything even before getting involved. She wasn't scared away or anything. But around the 8th month, I'm going to a follow-up w/the eye specialist in a few days, and let know that although I'm not paranoid or thinking about it constantly, it's on my mind. Her reply was 'well, I can't help you.' A little backstory - at the time, she was clearly not happy w/work, and related issues like money, and so I decided not to get too wrapped up in each and every thing said, and just be on alert if I start really getting the vibe that she can no longer be cool about it. About a month later, in general, I'm starting to doubt the future of the relationship, for other reasons really. She started showing lots of anger and acted meaner. I had a follow-up w/the regular onc. coming up, and again, let her know that these tend to be stressful. She asked 'how many more of these do you have?' I told her 'the rest of my life,' and she didn't appear to be ok w/that. Not long after that, we split.

    Hey Eric
    After reading your post you are way better off man. Focus on you and your health in time you will meet someone much better. I personally would not date a non-survivor for that reason. People who never faced the illness often grow tired of the consistancy it has in your life. The tests, doctors appointments, scans, bloodwork and how you may feel leading up to getting your results. Do yourself a favor and meet a fellow survivor I'll guarantee you she'll get it! Every bit of it! Good luck brother and stay healthy. LIVESTRONG
  • Chemo_Princess
    Chemo_Princess Member Posts: 105
    #52
    Marvusman said:

    You seem really sweet &
    Though cancer hasn't changed how I feel about myself physically or emotionally it has changed what I want in a woman. I would love to date another survivor because there is no stronger common bond than having both walked down that dark flaming hallway that is cancer. It's something that can't be imagined or conveyed but must be experienced. To really love someone you have to be able to respect them and even admire them. It's unfortunate and shouldn't be this way but for me I can't look up to or admire anyone who hasn't battled for their life. I want a woman I can sit back and breathe out a deep breath of admiration for. I want to look at my partner and see warrior and only a cancer survivor can truly wear that often over-used label. I am in awe with all who have survived and prospered and I would not date anyone who hasn't. I also would want someone who ahs the same fire and zest for life I do and having battled is one way to ensure that it's present.

    Indeed
    I agree 100%. I'd also rather date a survivor because nobody else appreciates every breath of air and sunrise like we do!!
    Blessings,
    Natalie
  • Eric65
    Eric65 Member Posts: 125 Member
    #53
    Chemo_Princess said:

    Indeed
    I agree 100%. I'd also rather date a survivor because nobody else appreciates every breath of air and sunrise like we do!!
    Blessings,
    Natalie

    Both you guys are right
    I had figured that out a while ago, we gotta keep tryin'...
  • Marvusman
    Marvusman Member Posts: 22
    #54
    Chemo_Princess said:

    Indeed
    I agree 100%. I'd also rather date a survivor because nobody else appreciates every breath of air and sunrise like we do!!
    Blessings,
    Natalie

    Hey Chemo Princess
    Chemo Princess where are you from? I live in Philadelphia looking for nice fellow survivors to maybe hang out and have some laughs with. We know rightoff the bat we have 1 huge thing in commom LOL.
  • Chemo_Princess
    Chemo_Princess Member Posts: 105
    #55
    Marvusman said:

    Hey Chemo Princess
    Chemo Princess where are you from? I live in Philadelphia looking for nice fellow survivors to maybe hang out and have some laughs with. We know rightoff the bat we have 1 huge thing in commom LOL.

    I live in Louisville KY.
    I live in Louisville KY. I've yet to meet a man here my age who is a survivor. It is very frustrating!!
  • Marvusman
    Marvusman Member Posts: 22
    #56
    Chemo_Princess said:

    I live in Louisville KY.
    I live in Louisville KY. I've yet to meet a man here my age who is a survivor. It is very frustrating!!

    I hear ya Chemo!
    It is so frustrating! I live in Philadelphia & I would love to meet survivors my age for friendship and maybe for dating but it is near impossible! Every appointment I go to, every doctors office I am sitting amongst people between the ages of 50-80. The have pediatric cancer hospitals they need to open one for young adults like 18-35.
  • kitandkat
    kitandkat Member Posts: 11
    #57
    Chemo_Princess said:

    Indeed
    I agree 100%. I'd also rather date a survivor because nobody else appreciates every breath of air and sunrise like we do!!
    Blessings,
    Natalie

    I agree too!
    Definitely! I would love to date a fellow cancer survivor. Not a lot of people understand what I'm going through. Or if they do... it takes years for us to actually be able to talk about it normally. I've lost some really close friends because they can't cope with my problems, and I'm really afraid of that happening when I'm already seriously involved with someone. Almost to the point where I'd be grateful if I had a medical crisis early while we were dating so I would know if we should take the relationship any farther ;) My best friend and I clicked instantly and I couldn't figure out what it was. It turns out that in third grade, she lost her best friend to leukemia. Even though she hasn't had cancer herself she totally understands what it's like. I often think that I would just like to date the male version of my female best friend, lol.
  • Skrane
    Skrane Member Posts: 19
    #58
    kitandkat said:

    I agree too!
    Definitely! I would love to date a fellow cancer survivor. Not a lot of people understand what I'm going through. Or if they do... it takes years for us to actually be able to talk about it normally. I've lost some really close friends because they can't cope with my problems, and I'm really afraid of that happening when I'm already seriously involved with someone. Almost to the point where I'd be grateful if I had a medical crisis early while we were dating so I would know if we should take the relationship any farther ;) My best friend and I clicked instantly and I couldn't figure out what it was. It turns out that in third grade, she lost her best friend to leukemia. Even though she hasn't had cancer herself she totally understands what it's like. I often think that I would just like to date the male version of my female best friend, lol.

    I agree, despite nobody ever
    I agree, despite nobody ever truly knowing what "you" are going through it would make things easier
  • jmp123
    jmp123 Member Posts: 5
    #59
    Chemo_Princess said:

    Dumped
    That is just wrong! But it's better to find out exactly how people are early on. I do not hide the fact that I have cancer. I would love to meet my prince charming and live happily ever after, but now I doubt that will happen. I'll just have to see if it's in Gods plan for me...
    Blessings to all of you!

    friend
    hi I'am Joshua how are you doing today
  • jmp123
    jmp123 Member Posts: 5
    #60
    Chemo_Princess said:

    Dumped
    That is just wrong! But it's better to find out exactly how people are early on. I do not hide the fact that I have cancer. I would love to meet my prince charming and live happily ever after, but now I doubt that will happen. I'll just have to see if it's in Gods plan for me...
    Blessings to all of you!

    friend
    hi I'am Joshua how are you doing today
  • jmp123
    jmp123 Member Posts: 5
    #61
    Vulgarism said:

    It's never once bothered me
    It's never once bothered me that I'm single. I'm not that big into dating, and havent dated since long before I was diagnosed, which was four or five some odd years ago already. Having someone romantically involved with me..just isn't that important. If I find someone, fine, if not, fine too. :)

    friend
    hi cutie I'am joshua are you doing anything

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