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molimoli update

Mmnn
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2016

Hello all,

It is with the heaviest of hearts that we share with you that our mother lost her battle this morning. The support you provided her with was invaluable. We really appreciate that you continually encouraged her to confide in us. In the end, we were able to spend the past month and a half supporting her, although we desperately wish that we could have been more involved all along.

She spoke very highly of you all in the past few weeks, even though she didn't have enough energy to write. Just know that she cared about your opinions and well being very much.

Wishing you all the best. 

molimoli's daughters

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 815
Joined: Feb 2016

This is news we dreaded.  Our hearts are broken and our souls are aching.  Tears all around.  A warrior has gone on to paradise.  Thank you Molimoli for the support and love you gave to all of us.  And thank you daughters for letting us know about our dear Moli.  May God wrap you in his arms to comfort you. 

Donswife48
Posts: 297
Joined: Nov 2015

I didn't know your mother as much as others, only recently joined.  But she posted back to me and encouraged me.  She had a wonderful humor and outlook on life, I thought and hoped that the surgery was a success.  Please know I thought your mother was a grand lady.  Hugs Nancy

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

Thank you so much for letting us know.  We become surrogate family here and we care so very much.  I'm glad you had these last few weeks with her.  She wanted so much to spare you as long as she could.  Know that her words on this site have helped so many ( as you will see when you return here over the next days and weeks) and they will continue to help new members for years to come.  I consider that a good legacy.

We kinda feel like we know the two of you, too.   Take care of each other and may your memories bring you peace.

Connie

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1555
Joined: Jun 2015

I type this with shaking hands and tears down my face. I'm so sorry for your loss and ours on this board. I came to love Moli as a dear sister and had high hopes that her surgery would get her a clean bill of health.  She will be greatly missed. Her sense of humor, love of her daughters and general outlook on life were inspiring to say the least. Please know that she is pain-free and at peace.

Please take care of each other and take comfort knowing that your Mom made a difference in our lives and that she loved you with her entire being.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Kvdyson's picture
Kvdyson
Posts: 789
Joined: Jan 2016

So very sorry to hear this news. Please accept my most heartfelt condolence for your loss. I am fairly new to this board and didn't know your Mom well but could tell by her posts and the replies to them that she was well loved here. I am so grateful to have been given the gift of her humor and her wonderful attitude toward life. Thank you for sharing her with us. Wishing you peace and comfort. Kim

namedropper
Posts: 102
Joined: Dec 2014

So sorry to hear the sad news. She will be missed by all of us who have gotten to know her. She loved you very, very much. Sue  

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1358
Joined: Oct 2015

I am so so sorry.  Your mother loved you so much and wanted to spare you.  She was a wonderful woman and gave us all so much love and support.  My heart is just breaking.  I just emailed her yesterday to see how see how she was doing because I was worried about her.  She fought this horrible disease her own way but I'm glad, in the end, she had you girls.  Please go back and read her posts - so much love and humor.  It's hard to write this through the tears but I wanted you to know she was loved.

Love, 

Eldri

Virgil90012's picture
Virgil90012
Posts: 34
Joined: Feb 2015

I am so sorry to hear about your mother.  She was always uplifiting others on this website.  She was a godsend. 

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2597
Joined: Mar 2013

Mmnn, thank you for taking the time at this difficult time to let us know about your mother, molimoli.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

brissance's picture
brissance
Posts: 192
Joined: May 2016

I am so so sorry for you. I am also new and did not know Moli as many of the long timers did but when they heard from Moli about her new challenge, all the women spoke of he so fondly I did as Eldri just suggested, I reviewed her post.  What a strong, loving and "alive" spirit she had. She gave me strength.

Although you can rationally know death is coming to your mom, or any dear one, you are never ever ready.  She is (in my belief) in a better place and she is whole, healed and strong.  You will always miss her and not a day will pass that you won't want to share a joke, seek advice or just get strength from "your" mom.  Cancer took my mom 29 years ago next month..  and I still reach for the phone to call her.  But the emptiness and sadness will ease and the memories of her and her love will remain.  I can hear my mom's hearty belly laugh and see her red hair flaming in the sun now as I did 50 years ago.  

Yes, you have pain and loss but you also have love and that will never die.  God Bless you and ease your as well as your family's sadness.

Patty

 

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

Moli was one of a kind and she did things on her own terms.  My eyes are burning, and I feel so sad that she has left you, and us, far too soon.  I will remember her humor, her strength, her determination, and her generosity in sharing on this board.  I am glad that you were able to share these last weeks with her.  She loved you so much.  Wishing you peace and strength during this difficult time.

Chris

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

Thank you for telling us...I just wrote her an e-mail yesterday.  I'm sorry, my heart hurts too much to continue this.  Will you let us know the arraingments, if any? Nuff, Nuff, Love,  Debrajo

Mmnn
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2016

Yes, of course. For anyone who is based in Toronto, please send me a message and I can share details of the arrangements once they are confirmed this weekend.

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

I'm in Texas, but would love to sign the guest book.  Your mother ment a great deal to me.  God Bless Y'all   Debrajo

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

I am in Toronto and would be honored to represent this band of sisters. I messaged you for the details

Stay strong and know your mom made a difference in many lives.

Jan H

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1358
Joined: Oct 2015

Jan, that would be wonderful!  Is there a place we can send a card?  

Love, 

Eldri

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

As soon as I get the details I will post it here. I would be honored to take messages or cards or you will be able to post on a website as well, I would expect.

It is Canada Day here so most things are closed, plans are probably delayed.

Stay tuned!

Jan

joyce6611
Posts: 48
Joined: Oct 2015

I am fairly new, but always read your Mom's postings.  We will all miss her very much.  She was such a strong person and had a great sense of humor.  Thank you for taking the time to let us know.

Joyce

 

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

Thank you Jan!  There is so little we can do,especially living all over the country, but if you will do this for all of us I would be so very grateful!  Still can't get my head around the fact I will never see her post and her Nuff, Nuff Love!  Thanks again, Debra(Jo)

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

thank you so much for offering to  represent all of us.

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1555
Joined: Jun 2015

Thank You JanH. It makes such a difference knowing that we have someone there to represent us and our love for our friend Moli.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

Moli's daughters, you were loved so much.  I lover reading your mom'S post. She had such a way with words.  She will be missed here.  Thanks for letting us know this very sad news.

Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

Charissa's picture
Charissa
Posts: 124
Joined: May 2016

My heart is so saddened. I can't imagine what you girls are going through. I, also, just recently joined this group, so I never got the opportunity to chat with your precious mother. But, my eyes filled with tears, just reading this post. There is a bond created here, like no other. I can't explain it. It is a beautiful bond. This group is wonderful. They truly care and love each other, as family. They have been a true blessing to me.

From some of the posts I have read written by your mother; she appears to have been a phenomenal woman. How blessed that her words of encouragement and wisdom will continue through her posts. I pray the Lord will wrap His kind and loving arms around both of you and comfort you in the days ahead. I will look forward to meeting her, some day, in our eternal home. In the meantime, virtual hugs to each you. I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

Soup52's picture
Soup52
Posts: 902
Joined: Jan 2016

I am so saddened to learn of Moli's passing. I am a newer member also, but I did read her posts and was encouraged by them. My deepest sympathy to you all. May she rest in peace.

Sandy3185's picture
Sandy3185
Posts: 228
Joined: Oct 2013

Your mom will be profoundly missed! She was a wonderful person, an inspiration to all of us. Thank you so much for letting us know. I know you would have liked to be there for her the entire time, but she knew how much she was loved and did not want to allow her illness to interrupt your lives. She loved you so much and was sustained by seeing you moving forward with your plans. Believe that the greatest support you could have provided your mom was letting her protect you from the knowledge of her illness. She was convinced that freeing you from the concern for her health was the very best for both her daughters and herself and comforted her throughout this journey.

Love, Sandy

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

So the funeral will be Thursday, July 7 at 1:30pm. I will attend on all of our behalf.

 

The funeral is at RS Kane funeral home. The online condolences are not yet available but will be shortly.

Moli's name is Betty Grant

If you would like to send a card you can send to:

1604 Sagebrush Ciurt, Windsor, ON  N9G 3B8

Let me know if there is anything I should be saying or doing on Thursday other than hugging the girls and passing along all your love.

Jan

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

Is the address yours or the funeral home?  I have a card ready to go on the 5th.  Do you think it will get there in time?  Maybe make a list of all our names who knew Moli at CSN to put in the pages of the funeral book?  Just a thought.  Dear God, this just can't be hapening again! As Sandy said, be sure to let the girls know that the not telling them was Molis strongest wish.  It gave her Peace of mind!  Thank you Jan, Debra(jo)

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

The mail will not cross borders that quickly but I would send the card anyway.

The address is one her daughter gave me so I am presuming it is one of the daughters' addresses.

I love the idea of filling in the guest book. If you want your name listed please private message me so I can make a list for Thursday! GREAT IDEA!

Jan

janaes
Posts: 776
Joined: May 2016

I didnt know your daughter.  I joined the forum not to long ago but still feel sadend by her loss. I hope the best for you and your family as you go forward in this journey. 

pinky104
Posts: 574
Joined: Feb 2013

I'm someone who has managed to survive NED for 6 years after having stage IVb UPSC and have read her posts for some time.  I always found your mother's writing on here very intriguing. She had a fascinating way of expressing herself and I always read them wishing I could express myself as well as she could.  She must have had a really great mind.  We were all hoping she just needed a little time to recover and then she'd be back. We'll all miss her for a long time. 

janaes
Posts: 776
Joined: May 2016

Im so sorry.  I wrote daughter but meant your mother on my post.

MAbound
Posts: 875
Joined: Jun 2016

I didn't get a chance to know your mother, but clearly what she shared here mattered deeply to others and I hope that brings you some comfort. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

ncg007
Posts: 132
Joined: Nov 2015

i am heart broken to hear the passing of your mom.  As you can see from the responses we all loved her wisdom and words of encouragement she gave us all.  She was a true warrior of this sisterhood.  May Betty rest in peace.

Nancy

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 1978
Joined: Nov 2009

Dear Molimoli daughter

So sorry to hear of Moli's passing.  I haven't been on for awhile and was sadden to hear about moli.  Sorry, I am at a loss of words.  But in the words of your

mom,  Nuff Nuff said.

Rest in peace dear friend.  Until we meet again.

Kathy

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2827
Joined: Jun 2010

Dear Daughters of our Molimoli:

I, too, just got online to read the sad news about your mother.  She will be missed by all. 

Suzanne

txtrisha55's picture
txtrisha55
Posts: 684
Joined: Apr 2011

Deepest sympathy for the loss of your mother.  She was always so gracious to all of us on this site.  May God hold the family in His arms while you go through this difficult time.  Know that she did love her kids.  Trish in Texas.

TAyers's picture
TAyers
Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2012

i am so sorry to hear of your mothers passing, prayers are sent.

giggs100's picture
giggs100
Posts: 91
Joined: Oct 2015

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your mom.   She was quite a woman - so wise and so kind.  My prayers are with your family during this difficult time.

Jerri

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

i was honorsd to represent you all at Molimoli's funeral. I gave her daughters your hugs, condolences and best wishes. I tried to assure them their Mom loved them and was protecting them by not telling them of her illness but I am not sure they were ready to accept yet.

It was very evident Moli had told very few people (if anyone) and there were many very sad people there with heavy hearts and some regrets.

I am mot sure Moli made the right decision - she gave me lots to ponder today.

 

More later. 

JanH

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1555
Joined: Jun 2015

Jan, thanks for representing all of us. It means a lot.

I have never been good at being subtle. I'm going to try my best right now...

I believe Moli felt like she was doing the best for everyone by keeping this to herself. Many of us begged her to not keep the secret. From a daughter's point of view I would want to know. From a sister, parent, friend the same thing. It saddens me to think that she may not have realized how many people loved her deeply. Maybe she did and this was her way to protect them. Maybe she was in denial. Maybe she really believed that the surgery was the answer. I know we all have to make our own decisions about treatment but I so wanted her to give chemo a chance. I believe she was more afraid of it than everything else. That makes me cry every day for her! I wish things would have been different.

I'm not passing judgment at all here. So, I hope I haven't offended anyone. I loved our Moli and miss her very much.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1358
Joined: Oct 2015

Thank you so much, Jan, for representing us at Moli's funeral.  I understand her decision about not telling her family because I have whitewashed the news to my family.  They know I have uterine cancer but I told them the surgery got it all and I just had the chemo as a precaution.  The only ones who knows it's UPSC are my husband and sister - she's way too smart to fool.  The rest believe I'm cured.  If it recurs, which I'm pretty sure it will, I'll decide at that point what to do.  My reasoning is, why have them worry about me?  What good would it do?  Would they spend more time with me; be nicer to me?  Just like Moli, I don't want pity.  I want to have as normal of a relationship with my family and friends as possible.  I love them and don't want to cause them anymore pain, guilt, grief or worry.  

Our Moli dealt with this cancer on her own terms and I admire her for that....it was right for her.  Each of us has to decide what's right for us - whether it's to go with the conventional treatment - surgery, chemo, radiation or diet, supplements, acupuncture or no treatment.  But....more importantly to me, to know when it's time to throw in the towel.  Quality of life is my top priority.

Love,

Eldri

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

For representing all of us.  During private emails between Moli and I, she outlined why she didn't want to tell others.  I must say that I agreeded with her.  It wasn't just a "private" thing.  It was her hearts desire to complete this final act.  It wouldn't have mattered if I or anyone else agreeded...her mind and her heart were made up.  She told me that in the medical profession, she had seen too much to NOT know what she wanted.  I believe she knew what the out-come would be.  This surgery was the last effort she intended to do, of that she was adament.  I'm sure her children don't understand and maybe never will, but she did this thing called life her way...this is what SHE wanted.  Debrajo

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

Again, my thanks for going to the funeral.

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

As I spoke with her girls I believed molimoli did it her way - and we are all entitled to that.

But as I sat in the chapel and could hear the conversations around me it became very clear that there was a palpable sadness that moli didn't share her burden and didn't give her family and friends the opportunity to help carry her burden. There seemed to be some regrets as well of words not spoken and bridges not repaired, perhaps?

I just felt very sad and definitely am not judging - just not sure moli knew how many people loved her and wanted to know.

She was a beautiful lady who clearly had many friends and loved ones.

JanH

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

Just got back in town, but I also wanted to thank you, Jan, for being there for all of us.  

Chris

Soup52's picture
Soup52
Posts: 902
Joined: Jan 2016

I guess we all have to deal with this nasty cancer in our own way... As I said to my friends last night, when they were anxious in knowing my ct results as so am I, well it will be great if I'm clear and don't need more chemo right away, but I am a realist and I know there is great chance that this will reoccur if not now but in the future. Maybe Moli didn't want to deal with both friends and family's positive thoughts as well as the sympathy. Reguardless,  may she rest in peace.

Kvdyson's picture
Kvdyson
Posts: 789
Joined: Jan 2016

Jan - thank you so much for representing us all at Moli's funeral. 

Soup - do you find that you friends/family try to stop you from discussing the chance of recurrence? Mine do. When I had my first scan after treatment NONE of them wanted me to acknowledge the reality that it could come back. After the 3rd time someone stopped me, I completely censored myself and stopped saying it to anyone (besides my husband and all of you, of course).

Not sure if they were trying to protect me from that thought - which is kind of sweet - or if it was just too scary for them to deal with?

I guess I can understand why Moli would also censor herself from sharing the reality of this dreaded disease with anyone outside of this group if she had experienced anything like that. Not being able to openly share your reality with those closest to you is a very lonely place to find yourself.

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 815
Joined: Feb 2016

Although I continue to maintain a positive attitude, I think we also need to be realistic about our chances pf reoccurrence. I try to be totally honest with my son and he seems to appreciate it. Friends, however do tend to not want to hear this info. 

janh_in_ontario
Posts: 125
Joined: Sep 2010

Right on - we each deal differently and that is our right! I am really sad I didn't meet moli in person. She loved to cook and I love to eat! Would have been a great friendship!

RIP molimoli

 

Nuff love!

Jan

Hopeful162's picture
Hopeful162
Posts: 82
Joined: Sep 2014

I have just returned from a singing trip to Cuba and have been out of reach as to Internet, so I am newly stunned to learn of Molli (Betty)'s passing. She was quite a character and while I did not always agree with her, she lived life on her terms. She will indeed be missed...

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