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My, Oh My how life does change sometimes

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'm not quite sure about this stranger next to me. I hadn't realized how used to the way he had been for the last year or so that any change would seem foreign and indeed strange.
Apparently the words "you will be dead in a few months to a year" seems to have penetrated my alcoholic husband's mind. This is Day FOUR of NO alcohol. I keep staring at him in wonder, he isn't walking around in wet pants from having peed them, no slobbering idiot across the table from me, no mumbling crazy stuff coming out of his mouth. WOW!! I'm not celebrating yet, everyday I'm waiting for this new leaf to turn back over and start again, but I remain cautiously hopeful that it is for real.
He has managed to do this with the help of 3 valium pills a day to prevent DT's and is doing it at home, on his own. I'm shocked, maybe still in shock.
Must of been those well wishes, good thoughts and prays sent his way.
Thank you my friends, keep those good thoughts and wishes still going.
In gratitude for your support,
Winter Marie

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1330
Joined: Apr 2009

This is great news and I'll keep sending out positive vibes for both of you. Just keep encouraging words & actions handy and he will get through this. He'll be able to look in the mirror and see this new person also and be proud of himself.

Luv,

Wolfen

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you for your words, ALL of them and for your vibes. You mean a lot to me. He needs every good vibe he can get, I'm very proud of him for trying so hard.
Hugs,
Winter Marie

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

That is good news. We will keep sending those positive thoughts your way. Lisa

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you, appreciate them, I asked how he was doing this evening, and he said, you know I want a drink, I keep thinking about it. I asked what he planned to do about it. He said nothing, just taking it one step at a time.
So I'm thinking he needs those positive thoughts to keep coming his way.
Thank you,
Winter Marie

jbeans888's picture
jbeans888
Posts: 313
Joined: Mar 2011

Hi I am from the ovarian cancer board and I just read your profile and it seems you went thru a lot and are a real trooper. Good news about your husband. It sucks that something like loosing time makes people change, but at least it's for the good.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you so much for taking the time to "come on over" here and your kind words!! I do appreciate it.
Good health your way!
Winter Marie

laurettas
Posts: 372
Joined: May 2011

Am so happy to hear this, Marie. I could tell from your description that your husband was a good man but probably overwhelmed by everything concerning your cancer. Will hope that this good news continues and the two of you can again enjoy the good marriage you had before all of this started.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'm so looking forward to a bit more happiness to be sure!!!
Thank you for thinking of us.
Winter Marie

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

I hope that this new trend continues...the journey of a 1000 miles begins with the 1st step.

-C

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Simply amazing huh girlfriend???????? Hope it continues...sending good vibes every day!!! Take care.

Jennie

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

My dear friends, even in the battles you are both waging at the moment, you always take the time to come over and hold my hand. I'm proud to have two such great friends as you both are, thank you for being there every time I need you.
Winter Marie

dasspears
Posts: 233
Joined: Feb 2009

Good to hear! Hope he keeps up the good work.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

I know that all will be well in time.........love to you sweetheart........buzz

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

I am also sending good thoughts, having some, ok a lot of experience with alcoholism in my family, i know what you are going through,
Good luck to you both. hugs, judy

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you. I just realized I haven't had to try to pick him up off the floor in days, I went to school and didn't have to stress about coming home finding him laying on the floor, I'm 5'5" and he's 6'2" and it would take me sometimes up to 20 minutes trying to get him up off the floor, it was exhausting for both of us. I don't know how many times I've had to ask my son to come pick him up and carry him to the bed. Even my neighbor (my son's friend) has had to help on occasion. I keep thinking how nice it feels not worrying about it.
Winter Marie

shmurciakova's picture
shmurciakova
Posts: 910
Joined: Dec 2002

I don't know your story but I just wanted to say congratulations on getting him to see the light. I wish I could do the same thing for my elderly mother. So, did a doctor tell him that if he kept it up he would not live much longer? Maybe that is what she needs to hear too. I don't know whether it is even worth it to try to talk to her about this subject again, but I feel like I have to at least try.
-Susan

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I can say I understand, the first visit the doctor just told him he was killing himself. We went back for the blood test results and everything wrong was due to alcohol, his liver, his enlarged red blood cells etc., things I had already been telling my husband, his wasting away from his muscles being ate up by his body. Nothing I said did anything.
The doctor again repeated to him, how he was going to die, if he kept drinking, I pressed the doctor to tell him how long (those that know and have seen my husband has been figuring a couple of months at best), the doctor said he didn't like to predict these things, I looked at the doctor and I said, "He needs to hear how long, because I believe he is thinking a few years, you need to let him know." The doctor then looked at him and said, "I believe you have a few months to a year at most if you keep drinking." That is what it took to apparently make an impression. He came home that night and got drunk as usual, then the next day, no more. I'm still in disbelief but happy.
I had bought brand new sheets but refused to put them on the bed because he was peeing the bed. Hopefully, I'll give him a few weeks and if he's still stopped, I'm so looking forward to a new bed, he wanted to buy one before and I wouldn't let him, I didn't want him peeing in it. Try the doctor route, it's the only thing that made a difference, I think he realized he was staring death in the face and decided he didn't want that anymore.
My heart goes out to you.
Winter Marie

relaxoutdoors08
Posts: 520
Joined: May 2011

Winter Marie,
My family has a family history/risk of alcoholism and I know how tough it is to be the person who has to practice tough love and wait for your loved one to "reach bottom" and then begin the healing process. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
NB

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Winter Marie, I just wanted to say that I'm thinking about you and so glad that your hubby has finally decided to turn things around for himself. All my best, and hugs dear, Cynthia

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

Winter marie....I owe you a very deep apology....when you said your husband was an alcoholic i just didn't think deeply enough. I guess i thought....right....well whose hubby does not have 3 beers while watching the hockey game?

Winter Marie....your comment about wet pants just struck me......where have I been???

I am soo sorry.....wouldn't it be great if he can continue with sobriety

maggie

Phoebesnow's picture
Phoebesnow
Posts: 601
Joined: Apr 2011

Good for him and good for you winter Marie. The blue book put out by aa tells stories of people who have been alcoholics and who have turned it around. It really resonates with people. I think u can even download it from the Internet. We will pray for u both.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

It's alright, he was drinking a liter plus of vodka a day, he had lost control of his body, and I feared his mind as well.
But so far so good!!
Winter Marie

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you for your words and thinking of us, and for your suggestion Phoeb's, I do appreciate it. I told him tonight, just a step at a time hun, and your doing well. I make sure to let him know I'm proud of him many times a day. So nice to see him showering and shaving again. Life can turn around and surprise you, sometimes bad, sometimes good. I'm always in favor of the "sometimes good"!!!! Thanks for you hugs Cynthia, I always like looking at the pictures you post in your avatar.
Winter Marie

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I hope the soberiaty continues.It is a hard thing to do,but I know people who have been sober for 20 years.I will be praying for you both.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

His sister has been sober for about 20 years now (he didn't let her know he drinks, I was thinking when we go in December she was going to figure that one out by now, but he might gain enough weight back by then). I appreciate the prayers.
Winter Marie

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Winter Marie...I so hope for the best for your husband. That it stays in his mind what the impact from "those words" did for him and helps him keep on his course.

gail

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you for your kind words.
Winter Marie

marqimark's picture
marqimark
Posts: 242
Joined: Jun 2011

Good vibes coming your way, hope they help both of you in your health battles.

Mark

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'll take all the good vibes I can get!!!
Thank you my friend.
Winter Marie

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Winter Marie,
I am so glad you have more peace in your life. Sending great vibes your way. Praying your hubby takes sobriety one day at a time.

Aloha,
Kathleen

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

He is on day 8 of no drinking. I'm still shocked at his walking though, I guess I thought if he stopped drinking he would be walking like a normal man again. The doc did say he didn't know if it "ataxia" would go away. I do so pray it does, this month my husband turns 58 and he shuffles like a 98 year old (my 90 year old mother bless her soul was walking faster then him before she passed away), I have to realize it will take time for him to get his muscles back, (they pretty much have almost completely wasted away), so I've got to remember patience. I'm thankful for his eight days so far, I'm thankful he gets to live a longer life because of his choice to stop drinking, I just have to remember patience, patience, patience. It took awhile for him to get in this position, I must realize it'll take a while to get out of it.
Thank you all for your support for me and especially for your support for him.
Much gratitude,
Winter Marie

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6722
Joined: Feb 2009

I'm so proud of him and YOU. After reading your first post about the caregiver, guess I'd never thought it was that bad that you literally had to pick him off the floor and then wetting the bed. I'm wondering how you ever got him to go to the doctor if he really didn't want to quit when you told him before. Getting him to take a blood test was another hurdle that would have been hard to do. He is so lucky to have a wonderful wife like you that has stayed by his side through everything you, yourself, has had to go through. Hope he continues amazing you every day.

Hugs! Kim

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Fantastic. You have taken many hurdles. Every new day is a new hurdle. I am so proud of you that you are able to support him in this and for him to quit just like that.
My girlfriend quit 12 years ago and every day is a new day and struggle, but she has mot taken a drink all this time. Just be proud and give encouragement. 
Many prayers and good vibes are being send your way.
Much love and hugs, Marjan

christinecarl's picture
christinecarl
Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2009

I have seen family, that I never thought would get sober, get sober. I thought I would've been going to my uncle Sonny's funeral, yet he got sober and was able to drive my mom to all of her chemo appointments. After my mom died I though my stepdad would drink himself to death, the last time I saw him before he went in the hospital his eyes were yellow.

Both of them are doing well, AA has been a great help to them. I pray you husband continues to take it one day at a time.

alexinlv's picture
alexinlv
Posts: 194
Joined: Jul 2010

Winter Marie,
Praying for you both, one day at a time! I have many alcoholics in my family and have seen some miraculous recoveries! I thing we never know what is going to be the thing that makes a person turn it around. xo Alex

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

sending all you need from here winter marie hugs Tina

janie1
Posts: 753
Joined: Apr 2011

Winter Marie, i pray that all gets better and better each day. And, yes, patience will be needed. You are amazing in so many ways.

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