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Losses

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

I am just heading out to an appointment, but got notice of this news...I had to reach out to everyone here and say something.

I cannot believe that we have received news of the passing of two very special friends here on CSN. This reminds me of when Djinnie and Neil passed...their losses were close in date, and we greatly felt their absence.

I am bracing for this next impact. These losses do "punch you in the gut" as Foxy mentioned before. Devestating and heartbreaking.

I value each and every person here. We will draw from each other for support. This is our virtual (kidney cancer) family. I hope to learn from the virtues that both Stomps and Mark demonstrated....humor, compassion, and such a great attitude.

Hugs and lots of love to everyone!

XOXOXOX

Jojo

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1327
Joined: Oct 2013

Excellent, comforting words my dear friend~

Yes, we need each other, not only on the cancer journey, but afterwards as well.

Hugs to you,

You are more special than you know!

Jan

sblairc's picture
sblairc
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2014

When GSRon passed away, I stepped away from this forum. It was too much to handle with my own anxiety and depression already in full swing. But I thought about how as a caretaker/wife of someone with kidney cancer I was so isolated from others that could relate to me, it was important to continue to try to give a little bit to others. I'm glad I did. It was hard, but in the end not entirely selfless since I gained a lot of support here. Love to all. 

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1327
Joined: Oct 2013

sblairc, glad you returned. Yes, losing GSRon was hard on me too. You get close to so many and even closer to a few. I always feel the person that has passed on is okay, but we, as their CSN family and their personal family still grieve.

So let me tell you how I appreciate your candid sentiments and sharing which is difficult leads to bringing us together.

Hugs to you and all who visit here.

Jan

CRashster's picture
CRashster
Posts: 239
Joined: Mar 2017

It's the very nature of this beast. Somehow, in the battle, it's comforting to know others are here and have been here before.

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 949
Joined: Nov 2014

Such warm words, thank you, Jojo!

Mark's, Nano's and Dginnie's health was declining, and we knew it. But somehow Footstomper's death seems so unexpected. I was not under impression he is nearing the end. Or maybe he was too strong and positive to share it with us...

marosa's picture
marosa
Posts: 333
Joined: Feb 2015

It has been very, very sad news to learn about Stomps and Mark's passing. Have been feeling stunned all day.  We need a big hug together and it feels therapeutic and good to be able to express as best we can our deep sadness at having lost our friends.  This news has made it very clear to me how much we can feel and get close to a person without having to have met them in person.  We have the privilege of being there for one another,  for  better, for worst.  There's a lot of good energy.  Im glad I found this group.  Sending love to everyone.  May we all be well.

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3331
Joined: Jan 2010

For those of you here a couple of years ago we lost Texas_wedge (the most prolifiv poster on the forum) and oneputt (Alice's husband) as well.

 

Icemantoo

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

FLY my friends.

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1998
Joined: Mar 2014

Beautiful words, Jojo. You always know what to say and how to say it. It's a rare gift. It's exactly like when we lost DJ and Neil. And also Ron. So devastating and it just leaves you feeling sad and numb. 

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Yes...also Ron and Texaswedge (who passed before I joined, but knew that he was a large contributor here) and others....I am so sorry for having missed them in my original post....I certainly have not forgotten these wonderful people.

I am still numb about it all. I also have another friend who is going through her own cancer battle and a co-worker whose breast cancer has returned. It never ends, does it? They are all such sad stories....and somehow so complicated. I always thought life would get easier as we got older, but at times like this, I just find it gets more difficult. We need to focus on our blessings and continue to look at the bright side of life....but sometimes that is a struggle, I must admit. This is when I need my CSN family more than ever.

Sending big hugs and love your way! :)

Jojo

foroughsh's picture
foroughsh
Posts: 779
Joined: Oct 2014

JoJo,

This is something I usually find myself thinking about, life gets more difficult and doesn't turn out to be what I'd planed for , it's been hard to Stay positive since stomper and Mark's  sad story. I'm sure they both could have been finding something fun out of this tragedy but I can't, this sort of news makes me feel down for long time. Good for you who find it possible to count the blessing but i become angry and disappointed and it's not very easy to find the bright side of a sad story

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

and broken hearted.

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Understandable, Foxy. Angry at this *bleeping* disease!! It keeps taking loved ones from us. And brokenhearted....because we had loved ones taken from us.

I had once spoken to a therapist who gave great advice: allow yourself time to grieve. We often push ourselves through it...forcing ourselves to shove our feelings away in order to resume our lives....

Big hugs for you, my friend.

 

pamstayner's picture
pamstayner
Posts: 111
Joined: Apr 2014

One of the most influential people in my life was my Aunt Betty.  We were blessed to have her move into our home the winter of 2003.  About two weeks after we inherited 4 grandchildren to raise.  She had turned 97, and thought it was time to be close to me, and stay in our lives, as she figured she was close to "kicking the bucket".  She was a perfect fit, we needed her love and attention (she had no children) and became a grandmother to the new kids on our block( in our house !).  The kids thrived with her, I survived without mental health therapy for five years with her.  She used to tell me she was tired of delivering meals on wheels to the senior citizens in her mobil home community... when she figured out she was 10 years older than the oldest citizen in the community!  Our new blended family became her reason to keep on keeping on as she put it.

When she needed full time care, I retired to take care of her.  She told me it was about time, because not only did she need me, but the new kids needed me too... full time.  She really did not need a lot of care, she was easy to care for.  She kicked her bucket shortly before she turned 102, only a few two weeks as a "sick old lady" something she worried about being "a burden".  She was not.  Ever.

I want so much to be remembered in her likeness.  Strong, independent, self-sufficient, Loved.

I have learned to be aware of being needed, and stepping in to hold things together.  Footstomper, Ron, Mora, Neil, Dinnie, Texaswedge....and a LOT of others who's name, but not words on this site I forget..... thank you.  You have shaped my new life, my thoughts, and I want to be remembered like you are too... inspiring in our cancer community.

Pam

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

What a lovely story, Pam. Your Aunty Betty sounded fabulous! And a great role model!

And your words about our departed friends...absolutely perfect.

Hugs

Jojo

Deanie0916
Posts: 399
Joined: Nov 2016

I was sad to hear about Mark, he encouraged me a lot with his compassion. Now Footstomper? Noooo. I haven't been on this forum for long, but Footstomper was one of the first to respond to my intial posting with humor and kindness. He encouraged me to use moist flushable towelettes and eat all the ben n Jerrys I need. I will miss them both. Cry

JerzyGrrl's picture
JerzyGrrl
Posts: 760
Joined: Jun 2016

Both teachers, both great folks in their communities, both super encouragers and all-around neat people on this forum. I get that we're here because of cancer, I get that being alive has a 100% mortality rate. 

But two guys, in their 50s? It just stinks and I'm pretty ticked about it, too. 

Grrr.

beemurguia's picture
beemurguia
Posts: 57
Joined: Mar 2017

I did not have the privalege in getting to know them.  I am very saddened by their passing!  What a loss for their communities and what a loss for this group!

I hope ya'l dont mind me asking...was their cancer stage 4? recurrent? 

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Both fellows have had a tough ride. Foots was finally having some success with nivo and Mark was having improvements with cabo. Marks' se's became intolerable, and Foots' poor response from previous treatments took their toll. I have my suspicions as to their passing as they passed fairly quickly.

Bellweather
Posts: 102
Joined: Jun 2013

UndecidedYell

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