Losses

Jojo61
Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
in Kidney Cancer #1

I am just heading out to an appointment, but got notice of this news...I had to reach out to everyone here and say something.

I cannot believe that we have received news of the passing of two very special friends here on CSN. This reminds me of when Djinnie and Neil passed...their losses were close in date, and we greatly felt their absence.

I am bracing for this next impact. These losses do "punch you in the gut" as Foxy mentioned before. Devestating and heartbreaking.

I value each and every person here. We will draw from each other for support. This is our virtual (kidney cancer) family. I hope to learn from the virtues that both Stomps and Mark demonstrated....humor, compassion, and such a great attitude.

Hugs and lots of love to everyone!

XOXOXOX

Jojo

Comments

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    #2
    Excellent, comforting words

    Excellent, comforting words my dear friend~

    Yes, we need each other, not only on the cancer journey, but afterwards as well.

    Hugs to you,

    You are more special than you know!

    Jan

  • sblairc
    sblairc Member Posts: 585 Member
    edited March 2017 #3
    Coming here is important. But the passings are so hard.

    When GSRon passed away, I stepped away from this forum. It was too much to handle with my own anxiety and depression already in full swing. But I thought about how as a caretaker/wife of someone with kidney cancer I was so isolated from others that could relate to me, it was important to continue to try to give a little bit to others. I'm glad I did. It was hard, but in the end not entirely selfless since I gained a lot of support here. Love to all. 

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    edited March 2017 #4
    sblairc, glad you returned.

    sblairc, glad you returned. Yes, losing GSRon was hard on me too. You get close to so many and even closer to a few. I always feel the person that has passed on is okay, but we, as their CSN family and their personal family still grieve.

    So let me tell you how I appreciate your candid sentiments and sharing which is difficult leads to bringing us together.

    Hugs to you and all who visit here.

    Jan

  • CRashster
    CRashster Member Posts: 241 Member
    #5
    The Beast

    It's the very nature of this beast. Somehow, in the battle, it's comforting to know others are here and have been here before.

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,072 Member
    edited March 2017 #6
    Such warm words, thank you,

    Such warm words, thank you, Jojo!

    Mark's, Nano's and Dginnie's health was declining, and we knew it. But somehow Footstomper's death seems so unexpected. I was not under impression he is nearing the end. Or maybe he was too strong and positive to share it with us...

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    #7
    Thank you Jojo for this post

    It has been very, very sad news to learn about Stomps and Mark's passing. Have been feeling stunned all day.  We need a big hug together and it feels therapeutic and good to be able to express as best we can our deep sadness at having lost our friends.  This news has made it very clear to me how much we can feel and get close to a person without having to have met them in person.  We have the privilege of being there for one another,  for  better, for worst.  There's a lot of good energy.  Im glad I found this group.  Sending love to everyone.  May we all be well.

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    #8
    Other losses

    For those of you here a couple of years ago we lost Texas_wedge (the most prolifiv poster on the forum) and oneputt (Alice's husband) as well.

     

    Icemantoo

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #9
    just numbstruck

    FLY my friends.

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    #10
    Beautiful words, Jojo. You

    Beautiful words, Jojo. You always know what to say and how to say it. It's a rare gift. It's exactly like when we lost DJ and Neil. And also Ron. So devastating and it just leaves you feeling sad and numb. 

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    #11
    Yes...also Ron and Texaswedge

    Yes...also Ron and Texaswedge (who passed before I joined, but knew that he was a large contributor here) and others....I am so sorry for having missed them in my original post....I certainly have not forgotten these wonderful people.

    I am still numb about it all. I also have another friend who is going through her own cancer battle and a co-worker whose breast cancer has returned. It never ends, does it? They are all such sad stories....and somehow so complicated. I always thought life would get easier as we got older, but at times like this, I just find it gets more difficult. We need to focus on our blessings and continue to look at the bright side of life....but sometimes that is a struggle, I must admit. This is when I need my CSN family more than ever.

    Sending big hugs and love your way! :)

    Jojo

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #12
    I am angry

    and broken hearted.

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    #13
    foxhd said:

    I am angry

    and broken hearted.

    Understandable, Foxy. Angry

    Understandable, Foxy. Angry at this *bleeping* disease!! It keeps taking loved ones from us. And brokenhearted....because we had loved ones taken from us.

    I had once spoken to a therapist who gave great advice: allow yourself time to grieve. We often push ourselves through it...forcing ourselves to shove our feelings away in order to resume our lives....

    Big hugs for you, my friend.

     

  • pamstayner
    pamstayner Member Posts: 111 Member
    #14
    I hate bad news.

    One of the most influential people in my life was my Aunt Betty.  We were blessed to have her move into our home the winter of 2003.  About two weeks after we inherited 4 grandchildren to raise.  She had turned 97, and thought it was time to be close to me, and stay in our lives, as she figured she was close to "kicking the bucket".  She was a perfect fit, we needed her love and attention (she had no children) and became a grandmother to the new kids on our block( in our house !).  The kids thrived with her, I survived without mental health therapy for five years with her.  She used to tell me she was tired of delivering meals on wheels to the senior citizens in her mobil home community... when she figured out she was 10 years older than the oldest citizen in the community!  Our new blended family became her reason to keep on keeping on as she put it.

    When she needed full time care, I retired to take care of her.  She told me it was about time, because not only did she need me, but the new kids needed me too... full time.  She really did not need a lot of care, she was easy to care for.  She kicked her bucket shortly before she turned 102, only a few two weeks as a "sick old lady" something she worried about being "a burden".  She was not.  Ever.

    I want so much to be remembered in her likeness.  Strong, independent, self-sufficient, Loved.

    I have learned to be aware of being needed, and stepping in to hold things together.  Footstomper, Ron, Mora, Neil, Dinnie, Texaswedge....and a LOT of others who's name, but not words on this site I forget..... thank you.  You have shaped my new life, my thoughts, and I want to be remembered like you are too... inspiring in our cancer community.

    Pam

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    edited March 2017 #15
    What a lovely story, Pam.

    What a lovely story, Pam. Your Aunty Betty sounded fabulous! And a great role model!

    And your words about our departed friends...absolutely perfect.

    Hugs

    Jojo

  • Deanie0916
    Deanie0916 Member Posts: 626 Member
    edited March 2017 #16
    I hate cancer

    I was sad to hear about Mark, he encouraged me a lot with his compassion. Now Footstomper? Noooo. I haven't been on this forum for long, but Footstomper was one of the first to respond to my intial posting with humor and kindness. He encouraged me to use moist flushable towelettes and eat all the ben n Jerrys I need. I will miss them both. Cry

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    edited March 2017 #17
    Two guys...

    Both teachers, both great folks in their communities, both super encouragers and all-around neat people on this forum. I get that we're here because of cancer, I get that being alive has a 100% mortality rate. 

    But two guys, in their 50s? It just stinks and I'm pretty ticked about it, too. 

    Grrr.

  • beemurguia
    beemurguia Member Posts: 57
    #18
    I did not have the privalege

    I did not have the privalege in getting to know them.  I am very saddened by their passing!  What a loss for their communities and what a loss for this group!

    I hope ya'l dont mind me asking...was their cancer stage 4? recurrent? 

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #19
    stage 4 bee

    Both fellows have had a tough ride. Foots was finally having some success with nivo and Mark was having improvements with cabo. Marks' se's became intolerable, and Foots' poor response from previous treatments took their toll. I have my suspicions as to their passing as they passed fairly quickly.

  • Bellweather
    Bellweather Member Posts: 102
    edited April 2017 #20
    Loss for words

    UndecidedYell

  • foroughsh
    foroughsh Member Posts: 779 Member
    edited April 2017 #21
    Jojo61 said:

    Yes...also Ron and Texaswedge

    Yes...also Ron and Texaswedge (who passed before I joined, but knew that he was a large contributor here) and others....I am so sorry for having missed them in my original post....I certainly have not forgotten these wonderful people.

    I am still numb about it all. I also have another friend who is going through her own cancer battle and a co-worker whose breast cancer has returned. It never ends, does it? They are all such sad stories....and somehow so complicated. I always thought life would get easier as we got older, but at times like this, I just find it gets more difficult. We need to focus on our blessings and continue to look at the bright side of life....but sometimes that is a struggle, I must admit. This is when I need my CSN family more than ever.

    Sending big hugs and love your way! :)

    Jojo

    JoJo,

    JoJo,

    This is something I usually find myself thinking about, life gets more difficult and doesn't turn out to be what I'd planed for , it's been hard to Stay positive since stomper and Mark's  sad story. I'm sure they both could have been finding something fun out of this tragedy but I can't, this sort of news makes me feel down for long time. Good for you who find it possible to count the blessing but i become angry and disappointed and it's not very easy to find the bright side of a sad story

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