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herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes, it sure is appreciated.

Right now I'm in the OOU getting my weekly chemo, sure getting tired of every week but at the moment it is shrinking the tumors, so I'll stay the course.

I have been happy that every week I had been gaining a pound, so a gain total of 6 pounds were made and today I was hoping for amother one or hopefully two pounds because even 116 isn't enough for my body.  But no, I lost 2 pounds, so down to 114 and I was so pissed at my body, but half an hour later I'm calm about it, determined to eat more.  No wonder I lost Mom's wedding ring in the shower, I was crying to my husband I'm gaining weight and now it falls off? The two pound loss at least explained it.  This year if my parents were still alive they would be celebrating their 50th anniversary, it hurts my soul I lost the only thing I had that connected them, and that I inherited fromMom. Even though she was my step-mom, I celebrated every anniversary they had as my rebirth because they saved us (myself and siblings) from a life of hell with our birth mother.  That ring meant a lot. So it goes sometimes.

I'm able to go places and cook, I tire ever so easy, a trip to Chili's will wear me out, but I keep trucking!!!!  And I am enjoying life and being here, plus it's supposed to be 93 degrees tomorrow (92 today, but stuck in OOU) and I love hot weather, I enjoyed yesterday's 80's although most Santa Cruz folk were complaining about the heat, as for me, bring it on I love it!!!!

 

Winter Marie

Again thank you for the thoughts, love you guys

 

lilacbrroller's picture
lilacbrroller
Posts: 412
Joined: Jun 2012

Glad you're still alive and kickin'

 

feel free to post more often!

all the best to you

 

KarinCool

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

Oh, it is so good to hear your 'forum voice'. Better still to know that you are doing better. Please know that you are here even when you are not here!  

I am so sorry about your Mom's wedding ring.  I wear my mother's and would be heartbroken if I lost it. She, however, is still very much with you.

Wishing you every good thing.....

hugs,

CM

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

It's good to "see" you again.  Thank you for the wishes!!

Hugs,

Wintwr Marie

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I feel the same!! LOL.

The best to you as well, fingers and toes still crossed.

Winter Marie

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1393
Joined: May 2012

I know it doesn't mean as much as the physical ring but my mom would say "You didn't lose the only connection, your brain is your connection."  She also used to say "the memory is the best picture ever and once you lose that, well that's okay because you don't know you've lost it".  lol  Congrats on the weight and shrinking tumors, I'm so happy that you are managing to get some on and get those gone. 

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'm just plain happy to be here, last month in hospital they had me call my loved ones to see me,mI wasn't doing well apparently, so every day is better day so far!!

Plus I got to see my daughter, made things lots better when she flew out, she slep in little spring bed next to me while I was rthere, forcing me to eat and then when I came home same thing, a GodSend.

Winter Marie

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2117
Joined: Oct 2009

It is so wonderful to see you posting.  I remember George going through weekly chemo and it is nasty, I am sorry you must go weekly.  I will take your hot weather any day, here in Michigan it cold, rainy, and just yucky although we just had several wonderful days so can't complain too much.

Take care my dear friend and check in when you can.

Love and hugs, hugs and more hugs - Tina

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'll make extra sure to enjoy our hot sunny weather tomorrow for you ;).  Then you can send your rain here as we are still looking for some!!

A zillion hugs back at you my friend, thank you,

Winter Marir

 

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 584
Joined: Feb 2010

ofc you are.  and so glad to see...

 

best wishes,

rick

 

ps i have to wear my wedding ring around a chain on my neck.  my weight goes up and down so much i don't want to bother resizing it, but it means so much to me.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

a It's so nice to see you posting, thank you!!

Winiter Marie

Easyflip's picture
Easyflip
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2013

You're just down the freeway from me! I love this hot weather too. My son went to UC Santa Cruz. Too bad about the ring but your stepmom is in your heart and she's not leaving you anytime soon : )

easyflip

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

PM me your city, we'll get together for a cuppa or something :).  My son went to UCSC as well, he works for the city here now.

Winter Marie

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6247
Joined: Feb 2009

Good to see you posting.  Sorry to hear about your mom's wedding ring.  Did your hubby ever try to see if it was just caught in the trap because sometimes something heavier won't flush down the drain.  It's good to hear that you are keeping on some of your gained weight.  Glad to hear of your progress and for the update.  Hoping you continue to do well and always thinking of you.

Hugs!  Kim

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Yes, my son offered to search for it via trap when he is next off work. Just got through heaving up yesterday's food (had worse indigestion all night) and now everything is feeling good and danged if I'm not hungry already (10 minutes later), how quickly we recover., but trying to stay quiet until house is up and that's a ways off, probably for the better. :)

Hugs,

Winter Marie

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Hi!

It's so nice to see you posting on the board!  :)  I'm just glad that you're pain is under control, that makes all the difference in the world.  Sorry about the ring though, but maybe it's still in the trap....??

Take care dear,

Cyn

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

my son offered to check the trap a couple of days ago when he is off work (next Monday) so hopefully will be there. ;)

Thanks for being here for us, you are truly appreciated.

luv,

Winter Marir

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 296
Joined: Apr 2012

So happy to hear from you and glad the tumors are shrinking.  Get that weight on, eat lots of Ice  Cream

Luv & Prayers from George& Diane

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you, no Ic cream though Oxi every week, so now it's baked potatoes loaded with butter and sour cream.

Luv back at you both,

Winter Marie

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 296
Joined: Apr 2012

Wink

I forgot about the ban on cold.  Yummy on the baked potato, hope you can eat it with lots of butter.  Lots of good calories.

George is on Irinotecan, Xeloda and Avastin every three weeks.  He has to stay on chemo indefinitely.   They call it maintenance.  With the oil he is doing pretty good. We just made a trip to Seattle to see his 91 year old mom.

My prayers go out to all fighting this battle, and their care givers.

Hugs from George & Diane

 

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1721
Joined: Nov 2001

All my strenghth to you and if there was a way I would send quite a few kilos your way, Ron.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I'd gladly accept some of those kilos!!!!

Hugs,

Winter Marie

janderson1964
Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

Thank you for the detailed update. I am glad you gained some weight back and are able to get out some. Weekly chemo wow!!!. I admire you for your willpower to do that as I did Jeff (Steve and Nat) when he did it.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I don't even bother to count weeks, I do get a week off every four weeks and I look forward to it, am doing something called Fufox which is Oxiplatinum, levicorn (spelled wrong) and what ever is in this pump I have attached to me for 22 hours, been doing chemo for four and a half years, you'd think I'd know my chemo's by now, it's too dark to open it up and take a look at what it is, when it gets light, I'll check it our, don't want to wake the house up.

i admit I didn't want to go in yesterday, but got over it and dealt with it, got to do what you've got to do.

Take care,

Winter Marie

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

I had Folfox too, it's the first chemo that is usually given as its very affective (if your body accepts it). 

 

Of course you are still here, remain positive buddy. 

 

Hugs. 

Yolllmbs's picture
Yolllmbs
Posts: 361
Joined: May 2014

Is a tough chemo for eating foods. I'm so happy you're doing better. Take care of yourself. You are always in my prayers. 

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

This one is called Fufox not folfox, I thought I kept hearing Folfox but the nurses yesterday  explained I was on Fufox.  I said as in FU cancer and they laughd and agreed And spelled it Fufox for me.  I hadn't heard it before.  Oh I guess the FU is this pump stuff chemo, it's name is "Fluorouracil" dang that's a long name!

Hugs back to you,

Winter Marie

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

known as f-5u, winter:)

ch

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

You do know you're one of my hero's in This battle?

Hugs,

Winter Marie

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2012

so good to read your update. Thank you WM. With those temperatures you may need to sign your post as summer Marie. :-)

ps. Praying for you and for a little weight gain. And for finding that ring. There has to be a service access to look in???

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

FU..., I love it!!

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2589
Joined: Jun 2006

Dearest Winter Marie.....how wonderful it is to "hear your voice".  You are so strong so amazing. Four and a half years of chemo....! yikes.....I think of you often.  Glad the weather is warm.....all the leaves are turning color and falling here.....rain and 9 degrees....let's see better turn that into Fahrenheit.....50 ish I think. Sending love to you dear girl.....so sorry about the ring....mags

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I have missed you so, it's wonderful to see you posting, gave my heart a lift, sending love back at you, and we have dropped to low 80's now, probably be in 70's soon.

so good to see you,

Winter Marie

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I enjoyed your big smile, it put one on my face.  I hope you are doing well.  Son, when he gets a day off is going to look in the shower trap for me ;).

Hugs,

Winter Marie

traci43's picture
traci43
Posts: 775
Joined: Jul 2007

So glad things are getting a bit better for you.  Sorry about the weekly chemo, that's no fun, but if the tumors are shrinking well worth it.  Hope you continue to improve.  Traci

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I ended up losing two pounds that I gained and this week lost almost another pound, vented to my Oncologist and he kindly explained, that I'm on three different chemo's every week and that fact that I gained weight at all is a surprise and not to worry about it now, since I'm eating right.  So I promised myself to keep on eating the three meals and snacking each day and not worry about the weight.

Still improving on cancer front and pain has been almost all gone for almost three weeks now :)!

Hugs,

Winter Marie

Semira's picture
Semira
Posts: 378
Joined: Mar 2012

... Still improving on cancer front and pain has been almost all gone for almost three weeks now :)!

Keep on improving!!!

Hugs from Germany

Petra

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4894
Joined: Jan 2013

i wish you were in England with me, as I'm sure you would gain some weight. 

Keep on trucking! We are here for you.

Sue - Trubrit

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

My husband promised me years ago that he would take me to England (he used to go there as his company was based there), I'm looking forward to that day.  Enjoy yourself, which I'm sure you are immensely, wish I was there too ;)

Winter Marie

YoVita's picture
YoVita
Posts: 590
Joined: Mar 2010

Yes - keep on truckin'  You are an inspiration to us all.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

But I just say, you all here are my inspiration and keep me going.  Thank you for that!

Winter Marie

TheLadySkye's picture
TheLadySkye
Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2013

Sending LOTS of good thoughts to you!  It was nice to see you again!

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Every good thought is a welcome thought and does make the heart happy, so thank you for that.  I hope things are going well for you.

Winter Marie

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

It's good to see you doing better! I hope you find the ring, but remember, you always have them in your heart. My mom is gone for 9 years now but I think of her often and know she's in my heart. I hear her everytime I talk to my kids. I can hear myself saying something she had said to me.

Send some of that warmth to NY. It's getting chilly here. I keep telling the hubby it's time to head south.

Warm regards.

Lin

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

If you'll send some rain my way and I'll send some sunshine your way we'll both be smiling (I'll jump up and down in the rain with joy).

Hope your brother is doing better.

Winter Marie

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

My brother goes to the onc on Thursday. His last MUGA scan showed his ejection fraction rate is only 25%, down from 40-45% in the beginning of the year. The onc and cardiologist are supposed to have a pow wow to decide whether they can continue/try a new chemo. My brother associates chemo with life or death for himself. He has so much hope and I won't burst that bubble for him. I am hoping they can give him some chemo, if not for anything but his mental well being.

Weather here is still very moody. It's cool and rainy one day and cool and warmer another. I can't wait for spring! :) I am not a winter person. I know, I am living in the wrong place.

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

So glad you're doing better!  And tell that cancer FU from me, will you?

Big hugs and healing thoughts~AA

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Sending you love Winter Marie.   You are an incredible spirit and it is so good to hear from you.  Wonderful that your daughter was able to stay.  You remain in my prayers.

 

Aloha,

Kathleen

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