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Still Here :)
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Oct 02, 2014 - 2:33 pm
Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes, it sure is appreciated. Right now I'm in the OOU getting my weekly chemo, sure getting tired of every week but at the moment it is shrinking the tumors, so I'll stay the course. I have been happy that every week I had been gaining a pound, so a gain total of 6 pounds were made and today I was hoping for amother one or hopefully two pounds because even 116 isn't enough for my body. But no, I lost 2 pounds, so down to 114 and I was so pissed at my body, but half an hour later I'm calm about it, determined to eat more. No wonder I lost Mom's wedding ring in the shower, I was crying to my husband I'm gaining weight and now it falls off? The two pound loss at least explained it. This year if my parents were still alive they would be celebrating their 50th anniversary, it hurts my soul I lost the only thing I had that connected them, and that I inherited fromMom. Even though she was my step-mom, I celebrated every anniversary they had as my rebirth because they saved us (myself and siblings) from a life of hell with our birth mother. That ring meant a lot. So it goes sometimes. I'm able to go places and cook, I tire ever so easy, a trip to Chili's will wear me out, but I keep trucking!!!! And I am enjoying life and being here, plus it's supposed to be 93 degrees tomorrow (92 today, but stuck in OOU) and I love hot weather, I enjoyed yesterday's 80's although most Santa Cruz folk were complaining about the heat, as for me, bring it on I love it!!!!
Winter Marie Again thank you for the thoughts, love you guys
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Joined: Jun 2012
yayyy!!
Glad you're still alive and kickin'
feel free to post more often!
all the best to you
Karin
Joined: May 2011
Oh, it is so good to hear
Oh, it is so good to hear your 'forum voice'. Better still to know that you are doing better. Please know that you are here even when you are not here!
I am so sorry about your Mom's wedding ring. I wear my mother's and would be heartbroken if I lost it. She, however, is still very much with you.
Wishing you every good thing.....
hugs,
CM
Joined: Apr 2010
Cathleen Mary
It's good to "see" you again. Thank you for the wishes!!
Hugs,
Wintwr Marie
Joined: Apr 2010
Katin, liked your yayy
I feel the same!! LOL.
The best to you as well, fingers and toes still crossed.
Winter Marie
Joined: May 2012
I know it doesn't mean as
I know it doesn't mean as much as the physical ring but my mom would say "You didn't lose the only connection, your brain is your connection." She also used to say "the memory is the best picture ever and once you lose that, well that's okay because you don't know you've lost it". lol Congrats on the weight and shrinking tumors, I'm so happy that you are managing to get some on and get those gone.
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Helen
I'm just plain happy to be here, last month in hospital they had me call my loved ones to see me,mI wasn't doing well apparently, so every day is better day so far!!
Plus I got to see my daughter, made things lots better when she flew out, she slep in little spring bed next to me while I was rthere, forcing me to eat and then when I came home same thing, a GodSend.
Winter Marie
Joined: Oct 2009
Marie:
It is so wonderful to see you posting. I remember George going through weekly chemo and it is nasty, I am sorry you must go weekly. I will take your hot weather any day, here in Michigan it cold, rainy, and just yucky although we just had several wonderful days so can't complain too much.
Take care my dear friend and check in when you can.
Love and hugs, hugs and more hugs - Tina
Joined: Apr 2010
Tina
I'll make extra sure to enjoy our hot sunny weather tomorrow for you ;). Then you can send your rain here as we are still looking for some!!
A zillion hugs back at you my friend, thank you,
Winter Marir
Joined: Feb 2010
ofc
ofc you are. and so glad to see...
best wishes,
rick
ps i have to wear my wedding ring around a chain on my neck. my weight goes up and down so much i don't want to bother resizing it, but it means so much to me.
Joined: Apr 2010
Rick
a It's so nice to see you posting, thank you!!
Winiter Marie
Joined: May 2013
Hey neighbor!
You're just down the freeway from me! I love this hot weather too. My son went to UC Santa Cruz. Too bad about the ring but your stepmom is in your heart and she's not leaving you anytime soon : )
easyflip
Joined: Apr 2010
Hey Richard
PM me your city, we'll get together for a cuppa or something :). My son went to UCSC as well, he works for the city here now.
Winter Marie
Joined: Feb 2009
Howdy
Good to see you posting. Sorry to hear about your mom's wedding ring. Did your hubby ever try to see if it was just caught in the trap because sometimes something heavier won't flush down the drain. It's good to hear that you are keeping on some of your gained weight. Glad to hear of your progress and for the update. Hoping you continue to do well and always thinking of you.
Hugs! Kim
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Kim
Yes, my son offered to search for it via trap when he is next off work. Just got through heaving up yesterday's food (had worse indigestion all night) and now everything is feeling good and danged if I'm not hungry already (10 minutes later), how quickly we recover., but trying to stay quiet until house is up and that's a ways off, probably for the better. :)
Hugs,
Winter Marie
Joined: Apr 2010
Hi! It's so nice to see you
Hi!
It's so nice to see you posting on the board! :) I'm just glad that you're pain is under control, that makes all the difference in the world. Sorry about the ring though, but maybe it's still in the trap....??
Take care dear,
Cyn
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Cyn
my son offered to check the trap a couple of days ago when he is off work (next Monday) so hopefully will be there. ;)
Thanks for being here for us, you are truly appreciated.
luv,
Winter Marir
Joined: Apr 2012
Update
So happy to hear from you and glad the tumors are shrinking. Get that weight on, eat lots of Ice Cream
Luv & Prayers from George& Diane
Joined: Apr 2010
Diane and George
Thank you, no Ic cream though Oxi every week, so now it's baked potatoes loaded with butter and sour cream.
Luv back at you both,
Winter Marie
Joined: Apr 2012
Yummy
I forgot about the ban on cold. Yummy on the baked potato, hope you can eat it with lots of butter. Lots of good calories.
George is on Irinotecan, Xeloda and Avastin every three weeks. He has to stay on chemo indefinitely. They call it maintenance. With the oil he is doing pretty good. We just made a trip to Seattle to see his 91 year old mom.
My prayers go out to all fighting this battle, and their care givers.
Hugs from George & Diane
Joined: Nov 2001
Hugs Mate
All my strenghth to you and if there was a way I would send quite a few kilos your way, Ron.
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Ron
I'd gladly accept some of those kilos!!!!
Hugs,
Winter Marie
Joined: Oct 2011
Thank you for the detailed
Thank you for the detailed update. I am glad you gained some weight back and are able to get out some. Weekly chemo wow!!!. I admire you for your willpower to do that as I did Jeff (Steve and Nat) when he did it.
Joined: Apr 2010
Chemo
I don't even bother to count weeks, I do get a week off every four weeks and I look forward to it, am doing something called Fufox which is Oxiplatinum, levicorn (spelled wrong) and what ever is in this pump I have attached to me for 22 hours, been doing chemo for four and a half years, you'd think I'd know my chemo's by now, it's too dark to open it up and take a look at what it is, when it gets light, I'll check it our, don't want to wake the house up.
i admit I didn't want to go in yesterday, but got over it and dealt with it, got to do what you've got to do.
Take care,
Winter Marie
Joined: May 2009
I had Folfox too, it's the
I had Folfox too, it's the first chemo that is usually given as its very affective (if your body accepts it).
Of course you are still here, remain positive buddy.
Hugs.
Joined: May 2014
Oxyplatin
Is a tough chemo for eating foods. I'm so happy you're doing better. Take care of yourself. You are always in my prayers.
Joined: Apr 2010
FUFOX
This one is called Fufox not folfox, I thought I kept hearing Folfox but the nurses yesterday explained I was on Fufox. I said as in FU cancer and they laughd and agreed And spelled it Fufox for me. I hadn't heard it before. Oh I guess the FU is this pump stuff chemo, it's name is "Fluorouracil" dang that's a long name!
Hugs back to you,
Winter Marie
Joined: Jun 2009
flouracil
known as f-5u, winter:)
ch
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Craig
You do know you're one of my hero's in This battle?
Hugs,
Winter Marie
Joined: Apr 2012
Big Smile
so good to read your update. Thank you WM. With those temperatures you may need to sign your post as summer Marie. :-)
ps. Praying for you and for a little weight gain. And for finding that ring. There has to be a service access to look in???
Joined: May 2009
FU..., I love it!!
FU..., I love it!!
Joined: Jun 2006
Winter Marie
Dearest Winter Marie.....how wonderful it is to "hear your voice". You are so strong so amazing. Four and a half years of chemo....! yikes.....I think of you often. Glad the weather is warm.....all the leaves are turning color and falling here.....rain and 9 degrees....let's see better turn that into Fahrenheit.....50 ish I think. Sending love to you dear girl.....so sorry about the ring....mags
Joined: Apr 2010
Ahhh Mags
I have missed you so, it's wonderful to see you posting, gave my heart a lift, sending love back at you, and we have dropped to low 80's now, probably be in 70's soon.
so good to see you,
Winter Marie
Joined: Apr 2010
Thank you Phil
I enjoyed your big smile, it put one on my face. I hope you are doing well. Son, when he gets a day off is going to look in the shower trap for me ;).
Hugs,
Winter Marie
Joined: Jul 2007
Yay for weight gain and shrinking tumors!!!!
So glad things are getting a bit better for you. Sorry about the weekly chemo, that's no fun, but if the tumors are shrinking well worth it. Hope you continue to improve. Traci
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Traci
I ended up losing two pounds that I gained and this week lost almost another pound, vented to my Oncologist and he kindly explained, that I'm on three different chemo's every week and that fact that I gained weight at all is a surprise and not to worry about it now, since I'm eating right. So I promised myself to keep on eating the three meals and snacking each day and not worry about the weight.
Still improving on cancer front and pain has been almost all gone for almost three weeks now :)!
Hugs,
Winter Marie
Joined: Mar 2012
love the sentence...
... Still improving on cancer front and pain has been almost all gone for almost three weeks now :)!
Keep on improving!!!
Hugs from Germany
Petra
Joined: Jan 2013
So good to hear from you
i wish you were in England with me, as I'm sure you would gain some weight.
Keep on trucking! We are here for you.
Sue - Trubrit
Joined: Apr 2010
Thanks Sue
My husband promised me years ago that he would take me to England (he used to go there as his company was based there), I'm looking forward to that day. Enjoy yourself, which I'm sure you are immensely, wish I was there too ;)
Winter Marie
Joined: Mar 2010
Glad about the weight gain
Yes - keep on truckin' You are an inspiration to us all.
Joined: Apr 2010
Thank you
But I just say, you all here are my inspiration and keep me going. Thank you for that!
Winter Marie
Joined: Oct 2013
Sending LOTS of good thoughts
Sending LOTS of good thoughts to you! It was nice to see you again!
Joined: Apr 2010
Why thank you
Every good thought is a welcome thought and does make the heart happy, so thank you for that. I hope things are going well for you.
Winter Marie
Joined: Aug 2013
Hey Marie!
It's good to see you doing better! I hope you find the ring, but remember, you always have them in your heart. My mom is gone for 9 years now but I think of her often and know she's in my heart. I hear her everytime I talk to my kids. I can hear myself saying something she had said to me.
Send some of that warmth to NY. It's getting chilly here. I keep telling the hubby it's time to head south.
Warm regards.
Lin
Joined: Apr 2010
Lin
If you'll send some rain my way and I'll send some sunshine your way we'll both be smiling (I'll jump up and down in the rain with joy).
Hope your brother is doing better.
Winter Marie
Joined: Aug 2013
Hey Marie
My brother goes to the onc on Thursday. His last MUGA scan showed his ejection fraction rate is only 25%, down from 40-45% in the beginning of the year. The onc and cardiologist are supposed to have a pow wow to decide whether they can continue/try a new chemo. My brother associates chemo with life or death for himself. He has so much hope and I won't burst that bubble for him. I am hoping they can give him some chemo, if not for anything but his mental well being.
Weather here is still very moody. It's cool and rainy one day and cool and warmer another. I can't wait for spring! :) I am not a winter person. I know, I am living in the wrong place.
Joined: Oct 2011
There's no doubt you are one tough gal, lady.
So glad you're doing better! And tell that cancer FU from me, will you?
Big hugs and healing thoughts~AA
Joined: Jan 2009
Sending love
Sending you love Winter Marie. You are an incredible spirit and it is so good to hear from you. Wonderful that your daughter was able to stay. You remain in my prayers.
Aloha,
Kathleen