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Ever get a song in your head?

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

and you can't get it out?

This weekend I had another experience that we have all had. Some good intentioned person was asking me how I'm doing. During our conversation they uttered that incredibly stupid statement, "We all could die any minute. We could get hit by a bus today. Or maybe have a heart attack and die. We are all in the same boat. You can't worry about it"..don't you want to punch them in the nose?..They are clueless.

I never had a good answer to that. They just don't understand how consuming the thought of having cancer is. Especially when you are stage 4. Then I asked him, "How many minutes in the last year have you conciously thought of dieing due to being hit by a bus?" Of course the answer was zero. Then I asked him," Now have you ever had a song (usually one you don't like) stuck in your head and you can't get it out no matter what you do?" Of course he said "Yes."

Then I told him THAT is what it is like to have cancer. All day. Every day. We never forget. We can get minutes, maybe hours where we can be distracted by family, activities, or sleep. But it never goes away. Constantly eating at your brain. That stopped him in his tracks. He exhaled and said he never considered that. My statement took all the air out of his balloon. He had no comeback. Here it was. Finally a snappy answer that people can understand.

Several people heard this conversation. I'm sure it struck them all. But me being me I decided to have fun with it. So what I did next was hilarious. (To me.) Here we were. At a picnic. 85 degrees. Middle of June.

So I started whistling. Christmas songs! I kept it up, off and on, all afternoon. Guess what everyone was doing after a while?  Oh my God! It had me laughing my a$$ off.  There was Jingle bells, White Christmas, and my favorite of the day was, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer..."

Now, is that funny or what? Maybe I drove the point home. I can't wait to do this again. Who says cancer can't be fun?

GSRon's picture
GSRon
Posts: 1304
Joined: Jan 2013

I told one guy.. that he better be very careful... that "bus" is coming for him..  and that most likely I will outlive him..   That was fun for me.. scared the crap out of him.. for a little while anyway..

Yes people do not get it...  

Song yes... the Motorcycle Song is in my head as well as a few others... 

Be well my friend.!!

Ron Cool

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1949
Joined: Mar 2014

Fox, that was perfect! And so incredibly true.

todd121's picture
todd121
Posts: 1425
Joined: Dec 2012

Just remind me of your friendly, loving support and sense of humor. Sure do miss you.

Todd

danbren2's picture
danbren2
Posts: 311
Joined: May 2013

Once again, you have been made it possible to explain what the words "You have Cancer" does to a person! I can promise you I will be using that explanation, ALOT!

                                Prayers for good health for us all!

                                 Brenda

thaxter's picture
thaxter
Posts: 124
Joined: Jan 2014

My wife wonders why I can't sleep in most of the time.  I don't want to tell her that I wake up thinking about how long I might have left.  Most of the time I can pretend it isn't there, but it's always in the back of my mind.  Even short term plans become very iffy.  To my family I seem like I am in good health, but with another week or two of IL-2 looming we can pretty much write off August and September.

DonMiller's picture
DonMiller
Posts: 109
Joined: Feb 2013

I really think when people we love start with the " you could hit by a bus" or " I'm sure the scan will be fine" mean well and really are just hoping we will be ok.  I am trying not to get pissed off at this anymore

Djinnie's picture
Djinnie
Posts: 945
Joined: Apr 2013

I love that analogy Fox! You do make me laugh! We all know what you mean though, I hate those flippant comments, shows a complete lack of empathy. I have lost count of how many times I have been told "well we all have to go some time". Well! that's true but we don't all walk around with a packed suitcase at the ready. There is no way we are all in the same boat, this one has definitely sprung a major leak taking a concentrated effort to keep it afloat.

Keep whistling:)

 

Djinnie x

aamdsi
Posts: 284
Joined: Apr 2014

I will have to use that one this weekend.  The frakin' bus comment is very popular and I will be around family who like to use it 8-).

As for songs...I had a Backstreet Boys song that I only knew about 4 words too stuck in my head during my first marathon YEARS ago.  26.2 miles of, "Don't want you back..."!  8-) (now I don't listen to radio before long races - only the music from Band of Brothers)

Do you have a "tackful" turn turn down for, "Show me your scar", that I can use this weekend as well?

 

Have a grand day!  You made mine

Laurie

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Laurie, I was at a large biker party a couple months after my nephrectomy. My 7-8" incision was still red and a bit inflammed. As you would expect, there were plenty of loud obnoxious drunk bikers hasseling people. As I walked by with a couple friends one loud mouth started on us. He was saying things like, "Your not a real biker, if you were you'd have a limp." and so on. Well he made a mistake because then he asked, "Where"s your scars? You'd have some if you were a real biker." So I turned to him and raised my shirt. Now he goes, "You call that a scar? This is a scar." And he raised his shirt. He had plenty of big scars. Then with all his friends waiting for a response, I said loudly, "At least mine wasn't from a hysterectomy!" I thought either I get stabbed or I get away with it. Anyway his buddies started laughing at him so hard I thought they'd fall over and wet their pants laughing. Score me-1, jerk-0. Hey, when in Rome....

aamdsi
Posts: 284
Joined: Apr 2014

Glad you lived after THAT 8-)

Now back to humming, "deck the halls"......

 

sheesh and maybe I'll learn how to spell - tactful 8-)

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1949
Joined: Mar 2014

LOL, you're very funny! Not to mention very brave Smile 

NewDay's picture
NewDay
Posts: 273
Joined: May 2012

Fox,

I love your attitude and wit.  Then again "wit" sounds too wimpy for a biker.  You're hilarious.  I'll have to remember that analogy.  It's perfect.

About that last song, there a lot of deer where I live and I'll see one a couple of times a week.  One day walking back from my mailbox,  I saw something blow past me in a dead run, close enough to feel the breeze.  I saw the tail as it flew through the bushes.  I think of that song every time the incident comes to mind.  I may not get run over by a bus, but a deer could take me out.

What I admire is your spirit and ability to live fully in spite of the nagging cancer song.

Kathy

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

if we had a choosen tune. And when we were around other people, we whistled or hummed it. A happy tune for positivity. I think that is why a xmas tune is great. Do it discreatly. Then watch how many people we can get to sing or hum or whistle it. No harm done. Spread the joy. Watch other people get something in their head that they can't get out. but don't ever tell them. Otherwise, you could never get away with it again. This game would be funnier the longer you have had cancer. I think.

Djinnie's picture
Djinnie
Posts: 945
Joined: Apr 2013

Nice idea Fox, the world could do with some cheering up, big time! I am always whistling 'Pumpin Blood' by NoNoNo, you know the one that goes 'The whole wide world is whistling'. It really gets me dancing around the kitchen in the mornings. I play it several times a day, my other half tells me he is sick of hearing it. Funny! You can hear him whistling it when he is out in the garden though!

 

You are such a card:)

 

Djinnie xx

dhs1963's picture
dhs1963
Posts: 510
Joined: May 2012

I hate that song.

 

Given the temps today in the east....how about Bruce Springsteen's "Girls in their summer clothes", though if you listen to the song, (like many from the boss), you will find that the cheerfull melody goes with wistfully sad lyrics.

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

You handled that situation so well. You drove the point home!  I have, in fact, been told MANY times about that bus. Now I will try and use your solution! I think you need to be our official bus driver!!- whistling that tune!

And that biker with the scar thing? Priceless. And dangerous!! Wow.

Thanks for starting my day with such a great chuckle!

Laughing

Hugs and SMILES

Jojo

 

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

like Christmas.....everywhere we go.....o,o,oo,oo,o,oooo, everywhere we go.....Hee, hee, hee.. I'm gonna stick to that tune. it's kind of contagious.

aamdsi
Posts: 284
Joined: Apr 2014
"This is the song that doesn't end
Yes, it goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because . . ."
jshorty29's picture
jshorty29
Posts: 12
Joined: Apr 2014

And thank you for sharing! I hear this all the time when people find out my huz has stage IV RCC. I'm sure they are trying to make him feel better in knowing that we all have an expiration date. Of course it doesn't make him feel better! As he says, his "expiration date" just always seems that much closer. AND is ALWAYS present in his thoughts.

Thanks again for sharing. I'm going to forward this to him. He's been in and out of the hospital so much this last month and he's feeling extremely frustrated especially as he has not been able to straddle his hog and feels he never will again. 

Im hoping he will  join this group and find just a bit of comfort among those who try get it! 

Hugs,

 

Jenny

GSRon's picture
GSRon
Posts: 1304
Joined: Jan 2013

Hmm... just remembered (somewhat) the movie of Apollo 13... when things looked really bad, you heard the sound of "Oh say can you see.."  Not sure if that part really happened but singing in the face of adversity.. awesome..!

Ron

twinthings's picture
twinthings
Posts: 409
Joined: Jun 2013

Oh. My. Goodness. Fox!  This was the best thing I've read on here, to date! 

After reading it and the other. about your exchange with the bully biker, the song "I think I love you" by the Partridge Family (of all people) popped in my head.  You really are something else!  I have always liked you but now, I think I love you!!  And now, not only is the song stuck in my head but, I'll think of you everytime I hear it.  I'd say thanks for making me laugh but, with these 17 staples in my belly, laughter is not the best medicine at the moment.  Still, I very much enjoyed reading thru this thread! 

xoxo

Sindy

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 901
Joined: Feb 2009

To the ??, let me see your scar.  Turn around, start to drop your drawers, and tell them "my skin was so tough, they had to use another opening."

Hah.

And twinny, you'll know you have staples when they remove them.  You'll twinge.  Bad joke, I know.  On surgery #1, I counted 67 of those grapple hooks that he pulled out with a pry bar.  Just teasing.  Hope the rest of the recovery goes well.

Donna

twinthings's picture
twinthings
Posts: 409
Joined: Jun 2013

Didn't feel a thing, Donna. When you've had as much abdominal surgery as I have, and so many nerves have been severed, there's not a lot of feeling. Actually, there's no feeling at all. I'm pretty well numb and have been for a number of years. The only pain I feel is internal. It's really weird when I have an itch on my belly, I can feel it inside but scratching doesn't satisfy the itch. 

Hope you have a great weekend!

S

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

..Patches.  By the way I haven't mentioned that I am also a Wrangler fan. Having several over the past ten years or so. I recently sold my last one as I no longer need 2 vehicles since I don't work. Had to keep my pick up truck. That hurt.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

I've been working on a joke about using the back door. Not surprised you beat me to it...I saw a girl this weekend. She had a big old healed incision along her spine. Probably had a rod inserted to control scoliosis. Adjacent to her scar were piercings like shoe eyelets. Laced with a pretty ribbon. Cool touch.

rhominator's picture
rhominator
Posts: 232
Joined: Nov 2015

Re: "They just don't understand how consuming the thought of having cancer is. ... I asked him, 'Now have you ever had a song (usually one you don't like) stuck in your head and you can't get it out no matter what you do?' Of course he said Yes. Then I told him THAT is what it is like to have cancer. All day. Every day."

Thanks for that!

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

I still do this stuff to people. It always works. Again, who says cancer can't be fun?

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Wow....oldie but a goodie. Funny stuff, but sad, too seeing posts from friends we have lost.

Hugs

Jojo

Skagway Jack's picture
Skagway Jack
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2013

Fox,  I had forgotten about that post.  It is so "right on".  What I always get being a stage 1 guy is "oh so the cancer is gone arent you lucky".  My response has been yes I am, but in my mind I am thinking they have no idea what the consequences of a potential return are or how it prays on ones mind. 

For example, I just had a visit with my Urologist this week and he ordered a new  6 month CT with IV contrast.  My kidney function had imporved to a creatin of 1.2 and I think he wanted the improved imagery that contrast gives.  This after my Onc(back in August) had said he would see me next year.  So the docs are not quite on the same sheet of music, though I know they have worked together a lot and there is mutual respect.  In anycase I get an un-anticipated scan added to the schedule in January.  I fully expect good results but as we all know it adds to ones stress. 

I will keep this nugget of Fox Wisdom in mind next time I get the question.

Cheers,  Skagway

todd121's picture
todd121
Posts: 1425
Joined: Dec 2012

But a bit more annoying and sometimes even frightening. As soon as I've forgotten, I'll get a little body ache or something will be off in my body and I'll think "hmm. brain tumor". I think their staging system makes it a little more intense. Stage 3. Song is louder. Stage 4? Damn. It won't stop!

I had a pain in my foot last week and I'm wondering, is it possible to get a tumor in your foot? (Them not scanning there makes me suspicious right away). This week it's a pain in my jaw.

I keep reminding myself (not on purpose) about friends who have had tumors in their eyes, nose, and other places.

Will try and remember an antidote. Although, Christmas songs right now aren't exactly making me feel stress free. If I hear that Mariah Carey Christmas song one more time, you may see me on the evening news!!! Damn, I'm sick of that thing.

Todd

mrou50
Posts: 389
Joined: Mar 2013

Fox what perfect timing for someone to bring up this coversation.  Thursday night I was trying to explain to my wife what is like to have this damn disease and the mind games it plays on us.  I read your initial comment to her and I told her that it is what I was trying to tell her Thursday night.  Thanks for your sense of humor and your guidance.

 

Mark

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

Excellent advice. The only problem is I then get a song stuck in my head. Problem is its in German. And I only remember one line.

Still theres nothing better to start your day than a youg German Punk, dressed as a catholic priesnt, doing a Hitler impression

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egaUzATKXsQ 

So thanks for that. Oh I should add they are not Nazis

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