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Stopping chemo

Vickilg's picture
Posts: 281
Joined: Jan 2011

Told my husband I don't want to do chemo anymore.  I'm canceling my Monday appointment.   I just think outs time.  My cancer is too wide spread and there is no chance at remission.  I think it's time me and my family move on.  

steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

I know this has to be such a hard decision and only you know when enough is enough. I pray for you and your tough choice. I always told myself that I may decide to stop but the good thing is I can change my mind too. Bless you. Jeff

joemetz's picture
Posts: 493
Joined: Nov 2011


Thank you so much for sharing your decision with us.

my eyes fill with tears for you, and big virtual Hugs from Toledo!

You and your family are in my prayers, and I wish you one glorious day after another for each day ahead of you.


Never forget, that there is someone who is waking up this morning, that is perfectly healthy who will lose their life today, and never be able to say I Love You to the people they truly love. We all hate cancer, but if I had a choice between a process like Cancer vs. A deadly stroke or "the greyhouse bus syndrom"... I'd take cancer.

We're here with you and cheering you on. Maybe your days and nights be peaceful, happy and glorious.

Some may get mad because you choose this path... but now you can put all your energy into loving others.

Hugs to you and yours!




John23's picture
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007


I’ve never had chemo, but I can certainly sympathize with your decision. But you still have a lot of options, and once you get a second breath, you might want to consider them!


There are some new western medicine cancer fighting drugs that are not considered “chemo”. If your Oncologist hasn’t suggested any, perhaps it’s time to find a new Oncologist! Taking some time and interviewing oncologists in other areas of the country, can often provide a new lease on life!


And of course, there are still “alternatives” to try. Not the expensive “alternatives” geared to rich Australians, but fairly inexpensive alternatives that almost anyone can afford.


I won’t push anyone into trying the herbs I used, but the list is there for anyone to consider.


If doing something different doesn’t break the bank or make you sick, why not try it? You already took the time and effort, and the brunt of the force against your health and spirit using western medicine’s toxic chemicals, so why not try something healthy?


Get a second breath, you need it! Then reconsider –all- your options; there’s a lot waiting for you!



Think well; Be well.




Maxiecat's picture
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2012

Vicki..you will of course be in my thoughts and prayers.   This decision is yours...you need to feel in control of your life and thankfully you have the loving support of your family and all of us.  The chemo can be a very long hard Road....right now you need to concentrate on the ones you love and live each day fully.  Please keep us updated if you do decide to try some of the alternative therapies...we all learn from each other.


Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

I just don't know what to say. This is something I worry about with regards to my husband. How will we know when it's time to stop? I hope this decision brings you peace and may you enjoy the time you have left. You're a very brave person.


Momof2plusteentwins's picture
Posts: 508
Joined: May 2012

I know it is a hard decision. I totally respect your decision. I think a lot of us will come to that point. I wish you many days of happiness and peace.

devotion10's picture
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

of your treatments.  My husband made the decision to stop chemotherapy and now focuses on his comfort therapies only.  We do not feel that he has given up, it is simply a change in the way he has freely chosen to deal with his incurable cancer.

I know that you have recently started Irenotecan treatment that has been rough for you both physically and emotionally.  You have also begun to or have, lost your hair.  These are very difficult challenges.

Your desire to stop treatments may be a momentary decision that results from the difficulties you now face that have compounded for you ... or, you may have truly reached a decision that if you face a limited life span from incurable cancer that you want to spend that time having therapies that feel more dedicated to your well-being like massage, acupuncture, TCM.

Irenotecan can extend your life but the quality of that life may not feel right to you.  Stopping chemo can also actually extend the quality and quantity of time you have left.

Strong support for whatever decision you choose.

Best to you and your family -- Cynthia 


fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012


I seldom write anymore.  I was drawn to the courage with which you shared this decision.  This is a very personal decision.  It is humbling to think that you have shared this very personal part of your life with us.

Huge (((HUGS))), freedom from pain and wishes of peace for you and your family.


Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5424
Joined: Jan 2013

I know that there is a time when we all have to make this desicion, and I know it has to be very heartbreaking. 

You may find that you have a better quality of life without the chemo, and you never know, with a good diet and exercise, you may be able to be around longer than you think.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. 


marbleotis's picture
Posts: 714
Joined: Mar 2012

You only know you best. 

From your post you made this decision thoughtfully and how it makes sense for you and your family. 

Please keep posting.  The best - as always. 

annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

and we will support you, whatever choices you make, as you walk the rest of the journey.  Someone on the other cancer forum stated that she didn't want to die with chemo in her veins, and personally I'm in total agreement with that feeling.  I hope that this decision gives you peaceful time to enjoy with your family, free of suffering.  Many hugs~AA

geotina's picture
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009


Oh how I wish it wasn't so, but, you have faced the reality of your situation and disease.  When the treatment becomes unbearable and there is no chance of remission or stability, it is heartbreaking.  I have no words of wisdom for you, for there are none.  Myself and the rest of the board is here for you, with whatever support we can lend, and saddened along with you. 

Take care - Tina

maglets's picture
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

thank you Vicki for sharing this very difficult decision with us.  I salute your incredible wisdom and bravery....

I wish the very best smooth sailing for you Vicki...I hope you can find some peace and relief from the chemo blues...

all love.....mags

thxmiker's picture
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

We respect your decission. One has to choose quality of life over everything else.   We are sending our thoughts and prayers for seeing many more encouraging words from you on the forum. 



Best A:ways,  mike


Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6694
Joined: Feb 2009

I'm so sorry to hear that decision that you have made but can understand completely.  You have gone the great struggle to heal and when you decide that it's enough it is.  My prayers and thoughts are with you as you continue to go forward with your decision.  Please keep us informed and know that you are in my prayers.


Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009


We are here for you as you go forward.  I'll be praying for peace and some wonderful, special  times ahead for you and your family.




fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 64
Joined: Mar 2013

It is heartbreaking to hear this. But we all respect your decision and we will back you all the way. Will be praying for you.

tanstaafl's picture
Posts: 1299
Joined: Oct 2010

Dear Vicki, I will echo John23's sentiments.

Our own options are further afield, if the status quo at highest doses fail and any recurrence is irresectable.   As far as we know, based on tests, Folfox, Folfiri won't work. Not sure that Avastin, Erbitux would add that much in my wife's case, she's already hit those targets.   Maybe the GOLFIG protocol would have some effect, at least that is what the tumor kill tests suggested from 2 years ago, but less than present tx orignally.  

What else could we do?

We could try alone, or add, TCM a la John23. 

We could try direct immunotherapy, if available like perhaps the Caribbean,  NDV, MBX vaccines or other trials, probably plus the other immunomodulators we already use like PSK, Biothera WGP, Dr Prendergast's standalone protocol for megavitamins K2-D3 up to 50 or 100,000iu per day (1-3 caps with professional over sight for calcium every 5-9 weeks), and the various supplements/fruit-herb extracts in the Life Extension recommendations.

As long as the kidneys are decent, we will do IV vitamin C, up to 50-200 grams per infusion day, #500 soon. We will always do something extra at home for maximum comfort, coverage and chances.   

Posts: 295
Joined: Apr 2010

I can relate with Joe's comment. People die everyday with out being able to say how much they love someone. This experience allows all of us to treasure the time we have with people we love. You're courageous.


dmj101's picture
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2011

Vicki, only you can make this decision.. All the best to you on this leg of the journey. May you be watched over and cared for.. may your love eminate to all around you.. it is not without love you an make this choice I am sure..

When ever I see someone post this message I wonder what really drives along whichever path we take.. I guess we never really know as I too have chosen to not treat my thyroid cancer anylonger but am still fighting my mets of CRC.. I wonder when I will have the courage to say - enough...

I am proud of you my friend and only wish you the best..

Love you ... Donna



Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011


Wishing you peace in your decision.  My hope and prayer for you is that this decision opens up days filled with feeling better, energy for things other than chemo, the love of your family and friends, and peace of heart.

Know that you are supported. In this rocky journey, some of us may need to borrow your courage.


Cathleen Mary


Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2004

All along this journey we are asked to make decisions and all along it we also know there is this one in the background that we can make at any time. It is one of the hardest to consider. All along we try to make the 'right' decisions and seldom, if ever, really get to know if we have. However, with this one you alone know whether it is right for you.If it is- if it brings that sense of relief and freedom from the chemo battle that I hope it brings you- then you will know.

I have huge respect for people who can keep some control in their lives when it all seems so chaotic and as if others are always steering the ship. I hope the decision brings you a well earned release from chemo and all that comes with it,


Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

It's already been said.....but I think that a person knowing how they are responding or not responding to treatment is a healthy thing.....because from this comes Knowledge...and from Knowledge comes Choice.

It's always easy to say fight on....it takes a great deal of courage to even consider an alternate way of thinking....and then quite another to make that commitment to follow your heart.  And having some good time available when you're feeling pretty good would certainly enhance your situation. 

I agree with you that I would not want to be taking chemo if it were really down to it....that Irinotecan is some of the toughest stuff I ever did.  And I know for several of us, that it has been particularly tough - while others have fared much better with it with far less side effects. 

But, for those of us where Irinotecan is such a main staple, it really makes things hard for one to feel well...and so, I totally respect your decision to spend time with your family and gain some enjoyment and fulfillment from that. 

It is a brave decision still and we so appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us - as these types of personal reflections always echo through the canyon walls of the community and reverberatre inside each one of our hearts and minds as we try and imagine ourselves in this position and how we would handle that - while hoping we don't have to face one of the toughest decisions in the entire journey.

Which is.....knowing when to say When...

I'm saddened by the news, Vicki, but completely understand your perspective.  I've enjoyed getting to know you some and watching your transformation through the journey of your own personal growth has been an honor and a privilege.

Thank you for all that you shared!

I hope that whatever decisions that you make will be the very best ones for you and your family. 

If you ever need to talk - I've always got my ears on to listen:)

I wish there was more that I could say.

Biggest hugs with lots of respect!


Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3366
Joined: Jan 2010

Stopping chemo is not always a popular choice, especially when family and friends may view it as "giving up".

However, I am sure that you have given it much consideration and determined what is best for you. 

Make the most of every day.  Live, love and be happy.

May your time on this earth be far longer than anyone would dream possible.


Marie who loves kitties

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