CSN Login
Members Online: 4

You are here

Facing Death - Awkward!

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Hi Everyone,

Years ago, I had discussions with others about whether or not I would ever want to know if I was going to die. I didn't think I could handle it but now I know I can. It is a difficult and weird feeling but I am also very glad that I have the opportunity to do some things I want to do and get things in order. I feel so strange knowing that I will live less than a year (although no one really knows the exact time when they are going to die). Talk about looking at things differently after a diagnosis... whew! Just overwhelming sometimes.

I have been thinning out the house which has made me very happy. It makes a difference to live with fewer things around me - a good difference. However, there are still items I am not ready to ditch. I have heard it said that we only rent things on earth. True. It is only stuff and we can't take it with us.

I wish there was a manual on how to die. Maybe there is. I am doing the best I know how to do but I still feel there are certain things I could do but do not have a handle on it. I have made funeral arrangements and combined things for my husband so that he will have an easier way of dealing with loose ends.

Random thoughts and questions. Which charities are the best? Should I plan to stay home at the end or move into a Hospice organization? What can I do to help others before and at the end? How do I continue to live and still sit out this wait?

I have told my husband that I want him to be happy when I am gone. He has been so good to me that I only want him to begin a new chapter in his life and find a loving companion and be happy in the days ahead.

I think it would be easier if I could talk to someone who has died. Wouldn't that be terrific? Just kidding. Friends, I hope you all will forgive me for rattling on with ridiculous thoughts. I don’t know if it is chemo brain or the pain meds. But I am living now and laughing and enjoying the beautiful sunshine.

Everyday we wake up is a gift! Any comments are more than welcome.

Lizzy

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Hi Lizzy! It is amazing...I have been thinking of you all week long and have frequently come online to see if there was any word from you. Imagine my delight to see that you had posted.

Aww Lizzy, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you whole and healthy. I wish I had all the answers. I don't. I believe you are handling your situation most graciously and I can only hope that I could do the same.

I don't know of a manual on how to die but there have been numerous others before us, and will be after us, who have made that transition gracefully.I think the fear of the unknown is what scares so many of us.Like taking a trip in uncharted waters.Lizzy, I have always heard that if we listen real close there is a still, small voice right within us that can and will guide us through all difficulties. I personally have found this to be true for myself.

Thank you so much Lizzy for checking in.My heart, my thoughts, my prayers will be with you.

Peace and love to you,
-Pat

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thanks, Pat! I have heard that voice you mentioned.

Hugs and love to you,

Lizzy

thxmiker's picture
thxmiker
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

I am glad that you can appreciate what you have!

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, to be able to live life to the fullest!
Best Always, mike

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4888
Joined: May 2005

Some good general advice is to live everyday like it's our last because it just could be.
-phil

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Lizzy,
Live everyday to the fullest, enjoy the love of family and friends, I know you have many. You are such a gracious Lady, your husband is a lucky man to have you as a partner who is still looking out for him.

A friend of mine started a journal, when she was told she had 6 months left, and wrote to each of her friends and family a chapter. Things she would not and could not say to us in person. I treasure my chapter.

Yes, if we could ol,y talk to someone who has gone before us, that would be awesome. However such is the mistery of life. I believe us awaits an eternal live of beauty and love and health.
Try not to think to far ahead, enjoy each glorious morning and minute of the day. Today is a great day, tomorrow we will see again.
Love you and admire you, in my thought and heart,
Marjan

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2589
Joined: Jun 2006

Lizzy I LOVE you

let me just think about what you have said. Sometimes I feel I am where you are but I know just not yet.....and what a difference it makes. Lizzy it is wonderful to hear your thoughts...

mags.....sigh and hug.....

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

Lizzy, I have"met" you more from perusing than posting but always admired the strength you showed. ...perhaps, never more than now.
I have no "how to" advice but something I carry with me from 21 years of working with pediatric cancer patients...."out of the mouths of babes."
When I was diagnosed and looking for guidance, I remembered 3 things in particular from these little ones that I fall back on:

~ children don't battle cancer, they encounter it and play harder than ever.
~ They let people love them
~ And, I will always remember a conversation I overheard in the playroom between two 5 year olds, Brian with leukemia and Jason with a brain tumor. As only children can, Jason asked Brian if he was dying. Brian, without skipping a beat, replied. "Yuh, and it's awesome!"

I know that you will be given what you need.....and, I hope, more time here with loved ones than you might expect.

Hugs,
Cathleen Mary

tko683
Posts: 265
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi Lizzy! I was so glad to see your post, I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I agree with all the posts here....live each day to the fullest and enjoy each and every moment. Everyday we wake up truly is a gift. I wish there was a manual and someone who could tell you about what really happens when you die. I've thought about it alot but i have no answers....but I think having time to get things in order is definately comforting. I have also heard from many that having Hospice come to your home is amazing. They are wonderful from what I hear. I pray that you have many more days than you think and praying for your days to continue to be filled with laughter and sunshine! Hugs, Teri

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

Lizzy, I can really understand where you are coming from. Before cancer and this sentence hanging over us, I took most everything for granted. Now everything and everyday is so special. I know friends that have died suddenly and never had a chance to say goodbye or prepare for the ending. I guess that is one good thing with cancer is we do have time to tell those that we love how much they mean to us. I just pray that your good days are more than anyone expects. God bless.
Jeff

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thanks so much to everyone for posting! Your comments certainly calm me and put a warm feeling in my heart.

Hugs and thanks,
Lizzy

Lifeisajourney
Posts: 217
Joined: Apr 2010

I read your post and have felt the same. I was just glad to know there was someone else out there with my same feelings. I wish you luck in your journey,having no chemo has made my life bearable and I can think about things, just celebrated my 69th birthday today and it was a good day....I told the Dr. I wish I were two people and do it with chemo and without and just see the results, but can't so made my choice. Some days are good and some not so, but I am alive and living and we will see how it goes...thanks for your post, it is good to know I am not alone. Pat

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

It sounds to me like you have a good handle on things. I'm not sure I could be so composed and thoughtful about it all.

If hospice near you is as wonderful as it is here, that would certainly be something to consider. They do seem to make it so much better for the patient and the family.

You have been a wonderful contributor to this board, and I certainly hope you'll be here for a long time to come.

*hugs*
Gail

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

all any of us has is today.
nothing to forgive, just a person to admire.

hugs,
pete

brianm
Posts: 16
Joined: Oct 2005

Lizzy, your post just got my attention, I have not posted in a very long time. My husband died in Feb 09 after 4 years illness. He was told in Jan 09 that his illness was no longer treatable and he had 4 weeks to live after that day. During this time he worked really hard with our two children, 16 and 11yrs old at that time, he talked at length with them about the journey he was about to take and at times while listening to him he made it sound exciting.He wrote to them both and they have these letters which are treasured! He also worked hard on some of his family members who were struggling to accept his imminent death and made them hear him about his life and how happy he had been in it!
When Brian died I was incredibly proud of how he dealt with it all, he organised his funeral and wrote his own eulogy as he did not want anyone else to speak about him feeling they might be too boastful of him!!!

There is a book titled, Legacy of love, the gift of goodbye, by Gemini Ahern, I heard her speak after Brian's death and it seemed like Brian followed all her advice even tho he knew nothing of this book.

I also spent the last four weeks by his side and we talked and laughed untill the end, it was an amazing experience and even tho I am very lonely and sad without him in my life I would not have wanted to do anything differently and there is great comfort for me in knowing that! Hope this is some help and enjoy every moment as much as you can,

Love Jackie

brianm
Posts: 16
Joined: Oct 2005

Lizzy, sorry the author of that book is Gemini Adams! XXXX

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

We don't know how long we have,so as a nun who was dying of cancer once said"every day is a gift from God".No one know what she meant untill she died 6 months later.Before my brother died of cancer he used to say,when it's your time it's your time,so enjoy your family,and your friends as much as you can,an make some memories.I will be praying for you.

Joy1216's picture
Joy1216
Posts: 293
Joined: Mar 2006

Lizzie, every time I wear my blue colon cancer bracelet I think of you because I ordered the bracelet from you several years ago. After all, this is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month.

I am not surprised by how graciously you are preparing to die. You are such a strong woman and are planning for the future. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

Joy

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Everyday we wake up is a gift....you are a gift Lizzy!

huggin you, gail

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

What a sad, yet admirable post. Wish we could meet in person.
Your Friend

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thank you!

Lizzy

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

"I'm smilin' at you, Lizzy:)

I want to talk with you more later...I should be in bed but having a time winding down. I miss you and love you...put the "sweat" away but it just holds such a special place in my heart and the sight of it, triggers my thoughts of you.

And how I miss having you around:)

I'm so proud of you and am learning a great deal from you right now...you know me though The Lion will go out of here growling all the way, LOL!

I really do hope that I can find "The Path of Acceptance" that you find yourself on now...I hope that I can do it as right as you are handling things.

You're still my friend - and the good news is "You Will Always Be With Me." I'll never forget you - never.

All my love and big TX Hugs all the way to S.C.

-Craig

P.S. Big Billy sends his best and his love too, LOL!

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

most of us reach a point in the journey where we have to face our own mortality in a way that a lot of people never do. I truly admire you for being able to reach out to others and talk about what's happening. My sister died just a year after diagnosis, and she was never able to accept the inevitable. There was no planning or discussion beforehand, and it left my BIL and her son in an even harder place, trying to figure out what she wanted done after her death. Of course, now that I'm experiencing some of what she went through, I am much less judgmental, realize there's no one right way to do things, but I do hope when my time comes that I can manage things with a certain degree of grace and openness of heart, as you seem to be doing. Sending you hope for time and peace, Ann

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6212
Joined: Feb 2009

This is a question that is hard to wrap your mind around sometimes. It sounds like you have a good deal of the future needs taken care of so your husband will have little to think about which is so thoughtful of you. You are a strong person and I've always admired you and your posts. As far as hospice goes, if you would feel more comfortable being at home with your loved ones being able to come in and out when they please then that would be the choice to make, but then also if you feel more comfortable being in an atomosphere where they can be with you more then that is the choice. Can't give you any information on either as this can be made at a later time. I'm so hoping that things can get better for you. You are a wonderful person.

Hugs! Kim

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Craig, Ann & Kim,

Thank you for your very kind and meaningful comments. It is so special to have these to read and re-read.

Love and hugs to you,

Lizzy

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

Thank you so much for sharing this post with all of us. I appreciate the tenderness that comes through with your words. I offer you this quote from the Dalai Lama because your post reminded me of it:

"Until you have the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, external facilities and conditions will never bring the joy and happiness you seek. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality, calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, even if you lack the various external factors that you would normally require to be happy, it will still be possible to live a happy and joyful life."
-Dalai Lama

all the best, Leslie

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I have some definite plans on my death...and have shared them with the people in my life that matter. It is so much better than trying to guess (I have had to do that twice, once for my ex-hubby, once for my daughter).

A manual on the proper way to die....hummm, would be an interesting read...so many, many different views!

Here in The Netherlands, there is 'assisted death'. It has recently been expanded to include people with severe dementia, if they have set instructions before hand.

I only wish for a gentle death, not trapped or suffering. Regardless of the cause.

I have cancer to thank for these revelations...I now feel I can go quietly into the good night....with no fear.

Hugs for the reminder of how precious each day is!!!

Dutch knuffels, Kathi

Aud's picture
Aud
Posts: 480
Joined: Oct 2009

I so admire you. You are a kind, generous, loving, strong, and throughtful person. Nothing for you to apologize for. Your joyful spirit is contagious. I hope for many more days of laughter and joy!
In the Light,
Audrey

donnare
Posts: 266
Joined: Jun 2009

Don't have any advice Lizzie - just wanted to say what a beautiful and generous person you are to be thinking of how to make things easier on others while dealing with this. Your beautiful spirit is jumping right off the screen.

Wishing you miracles and peace in your heart!
Donna

Doc_Hawk's picture
Doc_Hawk
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

My Dear Lizzy,

I have enjoyed you posts in the past and when I read this one this evening, it made my heart sad and yet strong at the same time. The courage which you display in your post is so admirable and has much to be emulated for the rest of us.

I have thought about many of the issues you raise, particularly the home vs. hospice question. As we all know, the day and time of our passing to the next life is a mystery: I have yet to be diagnosed as terminal and I may well meet my end tomorrow while riding my motorcycle or enjoying my dinner. However, for my part, I have opted to stay at home if that choice is granted me. In a way, I find it comforting having a special room where I may pass. I have a chair set up near the bed so that a visitor can have a seat and at times, when I wake up afraid at night, I can feel a very comforting presence there and I know that it is either Jesus or our Beloved Father.

In the time that I have left, I am doing what I can to make amends with those I may have injured in the past; tell those that I love how much I care about them; say good bye to former colleagues and friends; an to make arrangements for my funeral. Oddly enough, discussing my passing seems very easy. However, I have made the decision that when I go, if my 12 year old dog is still alive I want her put to sleep and placed with me, her chin on my right shoulder and my arm around her and we will go into the fires together. We've been together almost constantly since she was 2 months old and I know that she will have a short but miserable life without me and that my plan is the best for her.

I suppose all that I can say (other than the "all about me" paragraphs above) is to have fun and share it those you love. Make as many happy memories as you can and look forward the times that you will have together in the next life. And I do believe that there must be an after life. We are all creatures of energy, which can neither be created nor destroyed, so we must have had some sort of pre-existence and there must be an after life for that energy to go into. Personally, I look forward to meeting you and everyone else on this board there when it is my time.

Love to all,

Ray

tko683
Posts: 265
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi Lizzy,
Just wanted to say that I think you are a beautiful soul and your attitude is amazing. You are such an inspiration to me and to everyone on this board. I hope that the chemo is not making you too sick right now and I hope that your pain is under control. I also pray for you and hope that you have many more happy days!! Hugs and prayers, Teri

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear lizzy,

I have been reading all the posts and ofcourse you made me think about my future a lot.
One day we all will be were you are now, facing death.
A friend of mine gave me a little book, I do not know if you are a believer, but even if you are not, this book made me think. It is called," Heaven is for REAL" . It is a true story and it is written by Tod Burpo, with Lynn Vincent.
If you like to read it or cannot find it let me know I will send it to you.
This little boy 3 years old had a major operation and during this operation he visited Heaven. His father Todd recalls this event.Remember this little boy was 3 yeard old and told them bits and pieces at the time.

Also, when my brother was facing the same illness you are battling now he told me, I do not die, my body is giving up, I never will.

You so remind me of him with your gentle acceptance and even wonder of the whole experience.
Much love and many hugs,
Marjan

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Hugs, Kathi

Varmint5's picture
Varmint5
Posts: 384
Joined: Feb 2012

We don't know each other but this is such a gracious post. You must be an amazing woman. Bless your kind heart on this journey.

Sandy

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thanks for your posts! I have enjoyed reading your thoughts, ideas, and inspirations. Thanks for taking the time to leave a message.

Lizzy

lauragb
Posts: 370
Joined: Aug 2011

Sending cyber hugs and prayers to you. My friend and coworker passed on last December of colon cancer. Upon initial diagnosis, she was given a life expectancy of two years. She was on chemo and lived well during this time. Once she hit the second year, she cleaned out her stuff and enjoyed life to the fullest that she could. She did say to me she wondered what it was like to die and when it would happen, next week, in 6 months, who knows? In the end, she acquired an infection and died quickly and peacefully with her family. Your poignant comment about how it would be nice to be able to talk with someone who had already passed would have resonated with her. I just wanted to share this with you because I see parallels in your thinking and her story was peaceful. Here's hoping you can enjoy and seize the beauty of each day as we all should.
Light and love,
Laura

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thank you, Laura. I appreciate you sharing your friend's story. It is a warm feeling to hear about her. May her memory be a blessing.

Hugs,
Lizzy

th_in_canada's picture
th_in_canada
Posts: 46
Joined: Nov 2011

Thanks for starting this thread, Lizzy.
I'm in just about the same position as you. We look at life differently now. Instead of thinking, oh I'll do that next year, we do things now. If a concert seems interesting to us, we go. If I feel the urge to speak to someone (that I don't know) I do. There's a lot less putting things off. We've gotten various accounts cleaned up, everything is in my husband's name first. We talk about everything. If someone asks how I'm doing, I usually tell them. I never really did the "I'm fine" route. I don't want family or friends to have things unsaid to me so I have at times, been blunt. I find it easier to deal with than hiding. I'm into sharing now, lol.
I have a friend who is a "little bit ahead" of me, if you get my drift and he has been totally honest about his treatment and prognosis since the start. Because we have so many mutual friends, it's been easier for me to share my journey.
I've found that once close family and friends accept the inevitable, it's so much easier discussing my final chapter here and how I'd like it to go. Our big decision left is will I be able to stay at home or go to a hospice and for us, that will depend on timing.
Sorry I've rambled on about me. I hope things go peacefully for you Lizzy.

Tricia

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thanks for posting Tricia. Yes, I can certainly relate to what you have said. It is such a good feeling to me to be able to walk up to people in public and speak. I have been so shy in my life that I would hide my feelings and now, yes, I feel the freedom to talk when I feel it helps others. I do think it is important to try to be as nice as possible. I have to bite my tongue at times when people say things that they do not know is hurtful.

But now there are more important things in my life and those silly things don't matter at all. I just let them roll off. I also think that I am still here now because my work here is not completed. I have found that certain people need me and my experience to help them along their way in life. Young people in fact have written me and I have found that I have been able to share with them knowledge that sometimes takes years to learn. If they use it or ignore it is another thing. lol.

I also think that people who call and help me sometimes need people to help. It makes them feel good and useful too. Yes, this is the best of times and the worst of times. I am happy and taking one day at a time.

Thank you!

Lizzy

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Every time I start a comment, I break out in tears and feel such grief. I know that isn't what I should say, but every time I go to write you, that is what comes out, and so I just decided to say it.
You are leaving behind here on CSN to us wonderful memories of you, and showing us how to approach our time hopefully with the same dignity and grace that you are showing.
It's just that I'm going to miss you as I do so many others, and I just don't want you to go.
I've always thought the best thing that we could leave behind were memories of love, laughter and caring, and you have done that for me, for us. I thank you for that Lizzy.
May your time be long here on this earth making more memories.
Hugs and love to you Lizzy, your one heck of a person and I'm proud to know you.
Winter Marie

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Winter Marie,

Thanks for your kind words and love. Please don't break out in tears because I am very happy. This is a good time for me. I enjoy everything more right now! Everything tastes better. I love the Spring air and gorgeous trees. I love walking my poodle. I have helped people and let them help me. I am more confident now than I have been in my life. I have thinned my personal belongings and it feels great to feel organized and neater in the house. My husband and I are more appreciative of each other and more respectful too. Life is good - one day at a time.

Hugs and love back to you, Winter Marie!

Love,
Lizzy

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Just taking another opportunity to see your smiling face:)

I may no longer be able to help you anymore (not that I ever could, lol), but you are helping me with your personal example. Still can't tell which way I will lean when it's my turn...even writing the book and examining this topic in the closing chapters, I still could not see which way I would go...oh, I mean, I could see the 2 paths to take, just don't know which one I will find myself on.

I suppose, when the inevitable befalls me, I'll know what to do - and when to do it - just like you have:)

I can feel the serenity in your world, Lizzy, or should I say Lou Ann? LOL!

Well, I'll let you go - anytime I can touch base w/you, I just gotta':)

-Craig

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Hi Craig,

Thanks for your post. You are still helping me and you are helping so many others. Yes, I frequent this site 2-3 times a week and always look for you. You are a wise man. Thank you for being here. I feel a special closeness to you and to some of the others who I have known longer. I am grateful to have your friendship.

Love,
Lizzy (Lou Ann)

janderson1964
Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

Your peace makes me feel at peace. A picture you as an angel with the beautiful way you are handling this. I am praying for a painless transition for you.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

This shows your graciousness and loveliness all over again, comforting me, when it's supposed to be the other way around. I'm so happy you are enjoying one day at a time and life, you are a woman of courage, life and sweetness. Thank you for being you Lizzy.
Love,
Winter Marie

mom_2_3
Posts: 964
Joined: Nov 2008

I was very saddened by your post but you seem to be at peace with where you are. I am so glad about that.

When I was first diagnosed I also thinned out quite a few of my belongings. Gave away patterns and crafts I figured I would never do. Organized our lockbox and all our important papers so my husband would have an easier time. Hid various love and thank you notes to my husband throughout our files so he might find them one day. I am glad that I had the chance to all of those things.

My son and I were talking the other night about death. We were talking about it in a general sense, heaven vs hell. He wondered what our bodies would be like and how it would "feel." It was a very interesting discussion. I told him about what happened when my father passed away. My father had lung cancer after 53 years of smoking (he started at 14). When he stopped breathing at home my mother panicked and called the medics who took him to the hospital and intubated him. He was not concious as we all gathered around him (I have 6 brothers and sisters). The night before my husband had just proposed after a 4 year LONG courtship. While my father lay there I told him that my husband "finally got off his butt and asked me to marry him." I am the youngest and my father always called me his "little caboose." After I told him my news he just smiled and shook his head. It was amazing.

Later that day the doctors increased his morphine drip and told us he would just slowly stop breathing as the dosage increased. His breathing slowed through the early afternoon and at about 4:00 he opened his eyes and sat straight up. He looked past us all and I can only imagine what he saw. He then laid back down on the pillow and took his last breath. I would like to think that he saw the souls of his parents and siblings who had pre-deceased him coming to greet him. But the actual process seemed painfree for him and very peaceful and I am glad that I was able to be with him.

I am glad that you are enjoying the sunshine and the springtime. I keep you in my thoughts.

Amy

Semira's picture
Semira
Posts: 378
Joined: Mar 2012

I'm proud and honored to know you, even if only in a cyber way. I wish you pleasent further steps, where ever they may lead.

hugs from germany
Petra

Lifeisajourney
Posts: 217
Joined: Apr 2010

glad to see you posting. Because I find my situation awkward also..failed liver resection 6/1/11, so I don't know if I am ahead of you or behind. But when I said no more chemo they said 6 mos...still here and it is as you said awkward...so I appreciate all you feel, only I am not all caught up on cleaning yet.....bless you, continue feeling good...thoughts are with you. Pat

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2589
Joined: Jun 2006

lizzy I feel like I do not know how to start....you are so brave, so gracious, so kind to everyone....I am so proud of you.

yesterday we had the memorial for my friend who passed at home in January. she wanted a musical service on the first day of spring.
I lasted about 20 minutes and then I felt I had to leave the theatre....kinda felt closer to her just outside in the open

oh gosh i ramble......Lizzy I love you......

mags

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2117
Joined: Oct 2009

You already know I am so sorry you are facing this.

Hospice or home, well, there is no easy answer. Just tell your husband your wishes and if you wish to stay at home but circumstances dictate that a hospice center is necessary, you will be ok with that. Give him the option of either way so he feels no guilt in not following your wishes and to do whatever is necessary at the time.

As far as charities, well Pancreatic or Colon related but judging by your picture you sure do love your dog so maybe think about an animal rescue organization, no kill shelter or the like.

Again Lizzy, I am so very sorry. It is just not fair. I still wear my colon cancer bracelet I got from you when you did your fundraising and every time I put it on I not only think of my George but also of you. I wear it every day.

Love and Hugs - Tina

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1321
Joined: Apr 2009

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Although we have not spoken before, please know that you have always been a bright light in so much darkness that this horrible disease leaves many of us in. You continue to be this light. I am proud to be your cyber friend as you gracefully face this next step in your journey.

Luv,

Wolfen

Pages

Subscribe to Comments for "Facing Death - Awkward!"