Facing Death - Awkward!

135

Comments

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #42
    lizzydavis said:

    Winter Marie,
    Winter Marie,

    Thanks for your kind words and love. Please don't break out in tears because I am very happy. This is a good time for me. I enjoy everything more right now! Everything tastes better. I love the Spring air and gorgeous trees. I love walking my poodle. I have helped people and let them help me. I am more confident now than I have been in my life. I have thinned my personal belongings and it feels great to feel organized and neater in the house. My husband and I are more appreciative of each other and more respectful too. Life is good - one day at a time.

    Hugs and love back to you, Winter Marie!

    Love,
    Lizzy

    Hi There - Hey There - Ho There!
    Just taking another opportunity to see your smiling face:)

    I may no longer be able to help you anymore (not that I ever could, lol), but you are helping me with your personal example. Still can't tell which way I will lean when it's my turn...even writing the book and examining this topic in the closing chapters, I still could not see which way I would go...oh, I mean, I could see the 2 paths to take, just don't know which one I will find myself on.

    I suppose, when the inevitable befalls me, I'll know what to do - and when to do it - just like you have:)

    I can feel the serenity in your world, Lizzy, or should I say Lou Ann? LOL!

    Well, I'll let you go - anytime I can touch base w/you, I just gotta':)

    -Craig
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #43
    lizzydavis said:

    Winter Marie,
    Winter Marie,

    Thanks for your kind words and love. Please don't break out in tears because I am very happy. This is a good time for me. I enjoy everything more right now! Everything tastes better. I love the Spring air and gorgeous trees. I love walking my poodle. I have helped people and let them help me. I am more confident now than I have been in my life. I have thinned my personal belongings and it feels great to feel organized and neater in the house. My husband and I are more appreciative of each other and more respectful too. Life is good - one day at a time.

    Hugs and love back to you, Winter Marie!

    Love,
    Lizzy

    Your peace makes me feel at
    Your peace makes me feel at peace. A picture you as an angel with the beautiful way you are handling this. I am praying for a painless transition for you.
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    #44
    Sundanceh said:

    Hi There - Hey There - Ho There!
    Just taking another opportunity to see your smiling face:)

    I may no longer be able to help you anymore (not that I ever could, lol), but you are helping me with your personal example. Still can't tell which way I will lean when it's my turn...even writing the book and examining this topic in the closing chapters, I still could not see which way I would go...oh, I mean, I could see the 2 paths to take, just don't know which one I will find myself on.

    I suppose, when the inevitable befalls me, I'll know what to do - and when to do it - just like you have:)

    I can feel the serenity in your world, Lizzy, or should I say Lou Ann? LOL!

    Well, I'll let you go - anytime I can touch base w/you, I just gotta':)

    -Craig

    Hi Craig,
    Hi Craig,

    Thanks for your post. You are still helping me and you are helping so many others. Yes, I frequent this site 2-3 times a week and always look for you. You are a wise man. Thank you for being here. I feel a special closeness to you and to some of the others who I have known longer. I am grateful to have your friendship.

    Love,
    Lizzy (Lou Ann)
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    #45
    Lizzy
    I was very saddened by your post but you seem to be at peace with where you are. I am so glad about that.

    When I was first diagnosed I also thinned out quite a few of my belongings. Gave away patterns and crafts I figured I would never do. Organized our lockbox and all our important papers so my husband would have an easier time. Hid various love and thank you notes to my husband throughout our files so he might find them one day. I am glad that I had the chance to all of those things.

    My son and I were talking the other night about death. We were talking about it in a general sense, heaven vs hell. He wondered what our bodies would be like and how it would "feel." It was a very interesting discussion. I told him about what happened when my father passed away. My father had lung cancer after 53 years of smoking (he started at 14). When he stopped breathing at home my mother panicked and called the medics who took him to the hospital and intubated him. He was not concious as we all gathered around him (I have 6 brothers and sisters). The night before my husband had just proposed after a 4 year LONG courtship. While my father lay there I told him that my husband "finally got off his butt and asked me to marry him." I am the youngest and my father always called me his "little caboose." After I told him my news he just smiled and shook his head. It was amazing.

    Later that day the doctors increased his morphine drip and told us he would just slowly stop breathing as the dosage increased. His breathing slowed through the early afternoon and at about 4:00 he opened his eyes and sat straight up. He looked past us all and I can only imagine what he saw. He then laid back down on the pillow and took his last breath. I would like to think that he saw the souls of his parents and siblings who had pre-deceased him coming to greet him. But the actual process seemed painfree for him and very peaceful and I am glad that I was able to be with him.

    I am glad that you are enjoying the sunshine and the springtime. I keep you in my thoughts.

    Amy
  • Semira
    Semira Member Posts: 381 Member
    #46
    Dear Lizzy
    I'm proud and honored to know you, even if only in a cyber way. I wish you pleasent further steps, where ever they may lead.

    hugs from germany
    Petra
  • Lifeisajourney
    Lifeisajourney Member Posts: 216
    #47
    Lizzy
    glad to see you posting. Because I find my situation awkward also..failed liver resection 6/1/11, so I don't know if I am ahead of you or behind. But when I said no more chemo they said 6 mos...still here and it is as you said awkward...so I appreciate all you feel, only I am not all caught up on cleaning yet.....bless you, continue feeling good...thoughts are with you. Pat
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #48
    lizzydavis said:

    Winter Marie,
    Winter Marie,

    Thanks for your kind words and love. Please don't break out in tears because I am very happy. This is a good time for me. I enjoy everything more right now! Everything tastes better. I love the Spring air and gorgeous trees. I love walking my poodle. I have helped people and let them help me. I am more confident now than I have been in my life. I have thinned my personal belongings and it feels great to feel organized and neater in the house. My husband and I are more appreciative of each other and more respectful too. Life is good - one day at a time.

    Hugs and love back to you, Winter Marie!

    Love,
    Lizzy

    Lizzy
    This shows your graciousness and loveliness all over again, comforting me, when it's supposed to be the other way around. I'm so happy you are enjoying one day at a time and life, you are a woman of courage, life and sweetness. Thank you for being you Lizzy.
    Love,
    Winter Marie
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #49
    Lifeisajourney said:

    Lizzy
    glad to see you posting. Because I find my situation awkward also..failed liver resection 6/1/11, so I don't know if I am ahead of you or behind. But when I said no more chemo they said 6 mos...still here and it is as you said awkward...so I appreciate all you feel, only I am not all caught up on cleaning yet.....bless you, continue feeling good...thoughts are with you. Pat

    Lizzy
    lizzy I feel like I do not know how to start....you are so brave, so gracious, so kind to everyone....I am so proud of you.

    yesterday we had the memorial for my friend who passed at home in January. she wanted a musical service on the first day of spring.
    I lasted about 20 minutes and then I felt I had to leave the theatre....kinda felt closer to her just outside in the open

    oh gosh i ramble......Lizzy I love you......

    mags
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #50
    Dear Lizzy:
    You already know I am so sorry you are facing this.

    Hospice or home, well, there is no easy answer. Just tell your husband your wishes and if you wish to stay at home but circumstances dictate that a hospice center is necessary, you will be ok with that. Give him the option of either way so he feels no guilt in not following your wishes and to do whatever is necessary at the time.

    As far as charities, well Pancreatic or Colon related but judging by your picture you sure do love your dog so maybe think about an animal rescue organization, no kill shelter or the like.

    Again Lizzy, I am so very sorry. It is just not fair. I still wear my colon cancer bracelet I got from you when you did your fundraising and every time I put it on I not only think of my George but also of you. I wear it every day.

    Love and Hugs - Tina
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #51
    geotina said:

    Dear Lizzy:
    You already know I am so sorry you are facing this.

    Hospice or home, well, there is no easy answer. Just tell your husband your wishes and if you wish to stay at home but circumstances dictate that a hospice center is necessary, you will be ok with that. Give him the option of either way so he feels no guilt in not following your wishes and to do whatever is necessary at the time.

    As far as charities, well Pancreatic or Colon related but judging by your picture you sure do love your dog so maybe think about an animal rescue organization, no kill shelter or the like.

    Again Lizzy, I am so very sorry. It is just not fair. I still wear my colon cancer bracelet I got from you when you did your fundraising and every time I put it on I not only think of my George but also of you. I wear it every day.

    Love and Hugs - Tina

    Lizzy
    Your post brought tears to my eyes. Although we have not spoken before, please know that you have always been a bright light in so much darkness that this horrible disease leaves many of us in. You continue to be this light. I am proud to be your cyber friend as you gracefully face this next step in your journey.

    Luv,

    Wolfen
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867 Member
    #52
    Lizzy, I just saw your post
    Lizzy, I just saw your post and my heart is so sad. I really believe that when each phase starts you will know what you want.A friend of mine who recently passed, dashed around completing her bucket list. Then she gave someone music to be played in hospice. she said she wanted the end to be lovely. So, Lizzy, you will know what you need when the time comes. in the meantime, keep enjoying each day to the fullest.
    Know that we are all sending heartfelt prayers and that you have touched all of our hearts.
    Love and prayers,
    Judy
  • flyguide
    flyguide Member Posts: 27
    #53
    Hi Lizzy
    What a wonderful
    Hi Lizzy
    What a wonderful post..I do not know you but I sure admire you..i hope to have your courage when my time is near..you are a true inspiration..keep squeezing every day..thanks..sean
  • tko683
    tko683 Member Posts: 264 Member
    #54
    METFORMIN IN THE NEWS
    Hi Lizzy, I just read this article on-line about this diabetes medication that is cheap, readily available in pill form and has been shown to be effective in shrinking tumors for those with pancreatic cancer and other cancers. You should ask your doctor about this to see if it might be something you could try. I don't know about the side effects or anything but maybe you doctor will be able to give you some advice. Hope you are doing okay. Hugs, Teri
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    #55
    tko683 said:

    METFORMIN IN THE NEWS
    Hi Lizzy, I just read this article on-line about this diabetes medication that is cheap, readily available in pill form and has been shown to be effective in shrinking tumors for those with pancreatic cancer and other cancers. You should ask your doctor about this to see if it might be something you could try. I don't know about the side effects or anything but maybe you doctor will be able to give you some advice. Hope you are doing okay. Hugs, Teri

    Hi Teri,
    Hi Teri,

    Thanks for thinking of me and bringing this to my attention. Some of the Pancreatic Patients have jumped on it and commented on the "List Serve". I appreciate you letting me know.

    Hugs,
    Lizzy
  • lostmyheart
    lostmyheart Member Posts: 7 Member
    #56
    Hi Lizzy. God Bless You! I
    Hi Lizzy. God Bless You! I am brand new to this ; my husband and I were in an 18month battle with colon cancer that spread to his bladder until he passed away 25 days ago. I just felt I had to respond to you if only to say your thoughts are in no way ridiculous--in fact, they just show how much you care about others.

    My husband chose to stay home (on hospice) and that is where he died. As the patient, I say you choose what makes you most comfortable (home, hospital, or hospice in-house unit),-but as the caregiver (thinking of your husband), if you stay home I would hope that you guys have alot of around the clock help--it is essential towards the end.

    As my husbands only caregiver, I learned alot during all of this and the first suggestion I would make is to research & find the best Hospice agency in your area. I learned that some offer alot more than others & they will be very important to both you and your husband.

    I believe what you can do to help others is to share your wonderful attitude with them--in my opinion, there is no better gift you can give to loved ones than to let them know you are at peace with whats happening to you.. and getting everything organized is also going to be a great gift to your husband. What about St. Judes Hospital for Children as a charity? Just a thought. And finally, how do you continue to live while you are waiting to die...(sorry if that sounds cold, I dont mean it to be!) but that was our biggest struggle. Cancer took over our lives the last 8 months or so and I wish I would have figured out how to "live" while we went through it. We just 'existed', if that makes any sense, and did what we needed to do just to get through it....but I pray that you keep laughing and enjoying the beauty of each day . Best of luck to you Lizzy, and to your family.
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    #57
    lostmyheart said:

    Hi Lizzy. God Bless You! I
    Hi Lizzy. God Bless You! I am brand new to this ; my husband and I were in an 18month battle with colon cancer that spread to his bladder until he passed away 25 days ago. I just felt I had to respond to you if only to say your thoughts are in no way ridiculous--in fact, they just show how much you care about others.

    My husband chose to stay home (on hospice) and that is where he died. As the patient, I say you choose what makes you most comfortable (home, hospital, or hospice in-house unit),-but as the caregiver (thinking of your husband), if you stay home I would hope that you guys have alot of around the clock help--it is essential towards the end.

    As my husbands only caregiver, I learned alot during all of this and the first suggestion I would make is to research & find the best Hospice agency in your area. I learned that some offer alot more than others & they will be very important to both you and your husband.

    I believe what you can do to help others is to share your wonderful attitude with them--in my opinion, there is no better gift you can give to loved ones than to let them know you are at peace with whats happening to you.. and getting everything organized is also going to be a great gift to your husband. What about St. Judes Hospital for Children as a charity? Just a thought. And finally, how do you continue to live while you are waiting to die...(sorry if that sounds cold, I dont mean it to be!) but that was our biggest struggle. Cancer took over our lives the last 8 months or so and I wish I would have figured out how to "live" while we went through it. We just 'existed', if that makes any sense, and did what we needed to do just to get through it....but I pray that you keep laughing and enjoying the beauty of each day . Best of luck to you Lizzy, and to your family.

    Hi Lostmyheart,
    Hi Lostmyheart,

    I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. I can tell how much you loved him. He was so lucky to have you with him. I am sure that he appreciated you, your love and the help you gave him more than he could ever tell you.

    Thank you for taking the time to post. Your information is especially helpful to me. I will read it and re-read it.

    Luckily, my husband is still working. Although he is overwhelmed with work, I believe it keeps him occupied. We also try to get out of the house often. We shop, go out to eat, and even go to plays. I know I can come right home and rest if needed. It is working out for us so far.

    Every day is a gift and if I can be encouraging to someone along the way, it makes my day even better.

    Hugs,
    Lizzy
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #58
    Post
    I've seen this post come to the top and wanted to let you know you are always in my thougts and prayers and I'm wishing and praying for the best for you. You are a always a delight to see on this board. I'm glad to see you posting.

    Hugs! Kim
  • clever_user_name
    clever_user_name Member Posts: 8
    #59
    thanks
    Lizzy, thanks for the post you directed to Blake. Kathy will read it to him, along with the others. It meant a lot to me because I had already read this post, and felt I knew you a little bit. The sentiments you express here helped me, too.

    Drummond
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #60
    So dear
    Thinking about you, Lizzy...

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Joy1216
    Joy1216 Member Posts: 290 Member
    #61
    Admiring your grace
    Lizzy, I admire your grace as you face each new day. Keeping you in my prayers.
    Joy

Discussion Boards