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A little kindness goes a long way....remembering those who exemplified it.

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Hello you wonderful Semi-colons!

I want to share my appreciation for those on this board who showed love and respect to me and others over the years. Many of you have challenged me in ways that forced growth and understanding, but you did it in such a kind way, or humorous way, that connections were made and friendships blossomed.

When we share our stories on here we are stepping out, trusting strangers to be kind in response, with what we hold near and dear whether it be our faith or our choices. Occasionally there are times when that trust is broken, harsh words are exchanged, feelings are hurt but we learn quickly who is to be trusted and who is not.

Many of us have our less-than-wonderful moments because we are vulnerable to the emotions that a cancer diagnosis brings and we lash out or act like jerks, but my guess is that most of us are not really jerks IRL; we're just scared or angry or frustrated.

I want to remember a few who went beyond normal decency and never faltered publicly to show love and kindness toward the rest of us:

Nanuk, Bud, was so near and dear to my heart. His loyalty and love, generosity and kindness knew no bounds. He had my back. Always. He touched my heart so profoundly when he drove over 600 miles out of his way to come visit me in Northern Minnesota on his way to Texas for a colonpalooza. Thankfully before he died we were able to spend some heartfelt moments on the phone and I was able to tell him how much his friendship meant to me and that I would see him on the other side. He didn't believe in all that but he never once faulted me or shamed me for believing. Ever. He never condemned me for anything I believed in. Bud was a true gentleman.

And then there was Kerry--ever the lady who embodied grace no matter what horrific personal crisis with which she was dealing. Her love and concern for others was tangible through her posts as was her courage. It was my loss that I was not able to travel to Texas to meet a great lady.

Sweet Baby Girl Andrea was the epitome of youthful will and energy and focused determination. You always knew when she breezed into the discussion because her spirit was a force to be reckoned with 'til the very end. She as going to get her Masters Degree if it was the last thing she did.

Kimby made us laugh and lighten up. Her humor and upbeat attitude was infectious and drew us to her like bees to honey. She was the kind of woman that I wanted as my BFF. She rocked these boards bringing such a uniqueness that has yet to be duplicated.

There have been many others; and though I do not mention them that doesn't mean they weren't significant, au contraire, each has been.

And to those still here, I thank you for bringing your own distinctive flavor, your willingness to share your stories, your lives, your struggles and your victories. It is no small feat. I hope we can collectively respect and honor each
others story. It is something I can aspire to following the example of Bud, Kerry, Andrea and Kimby.

peace, emily

MrsJP
Posts: 157
Joined: Jan 2011

Thankyou! For sharing, and caring. You have inspired me and given me hope. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews
jp

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Emily, you are my inspiration. No matter how many push backs you have received over the years, you have continued to help others who seek your advice. I share your beliefs, that I am still here speaks for itself. I may have a relapse, but I have been here longer then I first anticipated. I don't post as often as I once did, but I still lurk to ensure questions are being answered for the newbies. As you say, it is frustrating at times.

You and Scouty rock! Thank you! Raquel

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

It's what we can freely give and means so much.

:-)

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Emily,
I smile when I see one of your posts and I can't wait to read your words. Thank you for sharing about those lovely people. It is so true that we all leave a mark on each other even if it is here in cyberspace.
I hope you are staying warm my friend. Spring will be here soon.

Aloha,
Kathleen

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

that I can make you smile from way over here! Heading south to some sun tomorrow.

:-)

christinecarl's picture
christinecarl
Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2009

There definitely have been so many (some here and some not) that have helped lighten the load. It is always inspiring to see people find light in the middle of darkness

P.S. I am from Northern MN too, I grew up in Ely and I still drive up there to see my family once in a while.

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Wow how cool is that? Ely is one of my favorite places. Going to Ely for the Mukluk Ball put on by Steger Mukluks was on my bucket list (don't laugh). My hubby and I would go every year for quite a few years as our weekend get away to ski and shop and dance in our mukluks! HA!

One of my sled dogs now lives in Ely with her new family--we moved and I had to find homes for my team (or what was left of them). I named one of my other sleddies Ely in honor of that wonderfully magic sled dog town. He was a big part of my cancer healing team. He was hit by a logging truck last year which broke my heart, but his spirit stays close.

Anyway, you lucky duck that you're from there. We spent 6 years in Two Harbors during our MN stint. Fabulous years in my dream log cabin on the edge of the wilderness.....nothing beats a day of skiing and an evening in the sauna!

peace, emily

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

When I was first diagnosed I read and read and read, looking for hope and good advice. I always found your posts to have both and I always open a thread that I see you have responded to. Keep up the good work (as if you would do otherwise....) and thank you.

Amy

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

When I first came on here in 2001 it was slim pickin's to find either hope or advice. I am so glad times have changed and there are many wonderful people helping others to walk this path.

peace, emily

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

That is such a sweet post, full of wonderful thoughts.

Gail

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Thank you.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

first placed in this arena...This is certainly not easy for anyone, but after you meet some of the original ones that are still here it seems to take on a serene more peaceful place where its like a family reunion everyday....You,Scouty,Ron,Phil,Kimby,KathiM etc, all have your personalities and each different, but they all intertwined to make the newbies (as I was) feel like it was more brother and sister than complete stranger bantering...and it was addicting, simply because you could feel the warmth and love for each other that people coming in here for the initial visits felt and vitally needed. I want to personally thank you for being an unspoken hero to all of us, especially me, as well as the others who were here when I came in dire need of solace and comfort and answers, and found everything I needed in the blink of an eye.......Peace Juice Chick, and many many thanks to you and your comrades................buzz

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Emily,

This is very nice that you are giving this tribute. I do look forward to each post you make- you always seem to have wise words of wisdom. We had an interesting beginning when I first came on the board, as you probably remember, but I have learned much and believe I have grown much as a person during this time. I enjoyed meeting Lisa P./Scouty over the phone yesterday & would enjoy talking with you someday, perhaps too. :)
Keep being an inspiration- many, many appreciate what you have to say.

Cheers!
Lisa

sasjourney
Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

Emily,

Your sweet posts talks about the kindness of some special people that you aspire to be like. Well, you are one of them. You have taken the time, despite having a large family and busy life, to offer hope, encouragement, advice and love to those struggling with this disease. I imagine it would be easy to want to put all this behind you, not think about cancer, and just move on with your life. But you have stayed visible and offer so much to us. I appreciate all the help and encouragement you have given me this past year. I juice everyday because of you. You have also given me hope for a future which I have failed to receive from the medical profession. You and Scouty are amazing ladies and are truly loved by so many people.

Thank YOU for the love and kindness that you have shown us.

Hugs,
Sara

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

i have never really got to know you over these last few years but i always look forward to reading your posts.you have given so much to this board.you and scouty are just a few, of who us stage4 and many others really look up to.my hopes and dreams are that we can all fall in your footsteps in someway with the ultimate goal of being NED forever....Godbless...johnnybegood

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Thanks for being here, Emily!

Lizzy

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Emily,

This is a nice post + beautiful tribute to some people who have made this journey a little easier for you. You make this journey a little easier to me, with your positive vibes + information. Thanks for being you + for continuing to participate.

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Great post!

Bud was amazing and a great dancer! remember how mad he would get at the old CSN board as we outgrew it and was having so many problems. My first memory of Bud was back when I had so many questions and he would research and attach links for anything and everything people asked about. If it was a controversial topic, he would post all sides and show no bias, he simply let you read and decide on your own which was perfect for my chemo brain. At CP 3 @ Austin in 2006, he treated Linda, who had lost her husband to the beast earlier in the year, to a spa day the Saturday we were there. I had dinner with them that night and she glowed while he beamed. She was like a different person in every way and I swear he had halo over her head that night and you couldn't knock the smile off his face. One of the coolest things I've witnessed and it involved 2 people who had just met and it was not flirtacious or anything like that, it was just a very kind and thoughtful gesture.

With Kerry, every time I see a bag of cheetos I think of you and her and laugh!!! I talk to her all time and she will live in my heart forever.

I think I learned more grace under pressure from Andrea than I have from anyone in my life to date. For a young woman in her early 20's, she was truly special. Remember the whole purple gown and Barney thread as we all promised to be at her grad school graduation? I wish I had met her in person.

I'll mention another one just because I thought about her today. Jerseysue, from Michigan (she grew up in Jersey). She was one of the funniest people I have ever met. We both were in management at AT&T and it was great to have someone to talk about benefits, disability, etc. At CP 5 @ Nashville in 2007 a group of us occupied the back of the bar enjoying one of those dueling pianos shows and I was dancing with somebody and got videoed without knowing it. The next morning she told me she had seen it so I asked her how I did and her response was "not bad for a white girl" just as serious as she could. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard. So TODAY I'm running well jogging my favorite 3 mile mountain bike trail and had a personal best for my post cancer days! As I cooled down and was gving myself kudos, I swear I heard her say "not bad for a white girl". I smiled, then cried but it sure warmed my heart.

Thanks for the reminder that we are here to fight cancer and help each other. People do what they think is right for them at the time and no one should judge them for it no matter what that decision is. I feel strongly that each one of us need to have faith in whatever we do. I totally believe in attitude, laughing, faith (in something), and conviction. I had a great conversation with my onc once about his "miracle patients". He smiles his wiley smile and his eyes light up when he talks about them. But his definition was a patient doing really well that "I and the stats can't explain". He said all oncs have miracle patients so I think we all should ask our oncologists to tell us about 1 or 2 the next time we have an appt.

Have a safe trip and again thank you for helping me save my life!

Love, Lisa P.

Lisa Rose's picture
Lisa Rose
Posts: 597
Joined: Mar 2003

Emily, your post is very touching....

I spent time with Bud in Austin and yes he was and always will remain a very sweet gentlemen. One day he went and ordered and paid for a massage for a member of our CSN family just to help her feel better. Bud loved to dance and I'm sure he could have given Fred Astaire a run for his money - but can't say much about his driving. You can go to you tube and find a tribute I made for Bud after his passing. Many of the pictures were taken at Kerry's home where we had the pleasure of meeting Kerry's family.

Remembering Bud http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQAq06Q8c2Q

Kerry was an amazing women - always gracious and very classy. We had the pleasure of spending time with her in Las Vegas, Nashville and Austin Texas her home town. Kerry and her husband Merriman had all the semi colons ( Colon Palooza 5 ) to their home for a wonderful and memorable evening. You can see picture of Kerry through this link but the audio portion is no longer available.

Kerry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3761ZE8t9rg&feature=related

Sweet Baby Girl Andrea Elder was wise beyond her years... sadly she lost her battle on May 10, 2006 at the tender age of 24. Living through colorectal cancer http://www.mcgill.ca/reporter/36/13/stein/

Kimby, I never knew but I know she was loved by all

Amazing friends that will live in our hearts forever ...

Always,
Lisa Rose

Also remembering Mark Gregory ( limey ) Susan Kowalski ( jerseysue ) and Dr Jana Miller. Thanks for the memories xoxox

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Emily,

That was a very lovely post. It was so nice of you to recall some of the earlier folks who inspired you.

You are always so sweet and upbeat, and I love to see your picture. You look SO healthy! I have to think that part of the reason for your health is that you're so relaxed and peaceful and happy.

*hugs*
Gail

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

Hugs from downunder,if nothing else you have reminded me how proud and how dreadfully sad this board has made me over the years.love Ron.

emrose's picture
emrose
Posts: 137
Joined: Dec 2008

Your kindness and understanding of everyone's unique challenges and opinions has been greatly appreciated. Even when I was too much of a coward to take your advice, you were never rude or hurtful and I appreciated that so much. Your story inspired me from day one, yet I was absolutely terrified. In the long run, I can honestly say you changed our lives. At the time, I just wasn't ready to listen. I didnt know who to listen to i suppose. Thank you for understanding.

My husband and little boy say thank you too!

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

its so simple is n't it and so easily overlooked.
a little kindness.
hugs,
pete

Kanort's picture
Kanort
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Thank you, Emily, for so eloquently stating the significance of this board and its members. Whether we were once daily contributors and now just check in on occassion or are presently benefiting from the support and collective wisdom of fellow survivors, we all share a common bond. It's one that has no borders.

Getting to personally meet Bud in Austin will always be one of my treasured memories. Scouty said it all....he was a true gentleman!

I can't type or say Kerry's name without tears in my eyes. Spending time with Kerry during her final days was an honor that I will always cherish. Even in the most difficult of times, her grace and dignity stood out way above her disease.

I never got the opportunity to meet Andrea or Kimby, but I respected and admired them both.

Mark, Jersey Sue, and Jana are just a few of the many others who are etched in my heart and thought of often with admiration and respect. They are greatly missed and loved.

Because I no longer post on this board, please know that each and everyone of you are special to me, and I pray that you will once dance with NED, as I have done for the last seven years. I owe my wellness to all of the wonderful friends I met here during my journey with Stage 3c colon cancer!

Healing hugs,

Kay

luvmum
Posts: 457
Joined: Dec 2010

Dear Emily,

I have to say it's really a blessing to find this forum and receive so much support from the people here. Despite the fact that they are all fighting hard, they always give support, love and hope to the others. They welcome the newbies, share their experience and cheer each others up. I myself have received so much support and help from them which help me a great deal to walk through the first few months. Without reading posts from them and receiving their unconditional support, I cannot imagine how am I going to go through all these hurdles.

I would really like to show my sincere gratitude and appreciation to all of you!
Lots of love from Dora

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Thanks, Add my sweet JR to the list. He didn't post much just looked. He loved All of you guys for what you have and had gone thru. I still look now and then. You are all in my heart. Best to all of you for the ones we have lost and the ones still fighting and the ones who have won!!!

greybeard64's picture
greybeard64
Posts: 254
Joined: Mar 2010

I couldnt possibly write better then that which has already been written, so I won't even try.
I'll just say thanks for all you do and who you are.

greybeard

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

everyone for your kind reponses. I have been away from the computer for a couple days due to a trip out of town. I would respond to each and every one of you, but I am on my folks' computer and don't want to tie it up.

My mother was dx'ed with breast cancer and is having surgery tomorrow. I am now an official caregiver. Interesting road to walk with her on the other side of this cancer gig. People are commenting on how peaceful and calm she has been so far and her response is that she's walked this with two daughters now. Of course she also taps into the peace that surpasses all understanding, if ya know what I mean. ;-)

I brought my juicer along so naturally I will be pumping her full of kale and cabbage and what have you if she allows me to. My dad is wanting me to juice him so let's hope I'm just buzzing on that juicer all day long! HA!

But back to the post...I was hoping that you all would add your own sweet memories of those on here...like limey and Jana and fitlisa and JerseySue and others. I'm envious of those who have made it to the paloozas and have gone beyond the cyber realm to solidify the friendship bonds we create here. I am SOOOOO looking forward to the one in Chicago this fall. WOOHOO!!

If I don't take the train down you can count on my lugging my juicer along for some carrot cocktails! HA!

So thanks again for the sweet comments. If I don't respond just know that I'm here in spirit while I'm taking care of my wonderful mama. Any healing vibes, prayers, good thoughts, candle lighting is greatly appreciated.

SEMI-COLONS ROCK!!

peace, emily the juice chick who wants to turn her mama a beautiful betacarotene orange. :-)

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am sending good thoughts + vibes to you + your Mom for great results with her surgery.

Juice on!

christinecarl's picture
christinecarl
Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2009

I hope all goes well with your mom. I am sorry cancer is visiting your family yet again. Clearly it does not realize what it is up against.

I have often times wondered what it would have been like if my mom had beat her colon cancer and we would've had each other to lean on. She definitely gave me the blueprint as to how to navigate my way through it. Maybe it was better she never knew about mine. Guess I will never know.

I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2122
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry cancer is visiting your family again. Being a caregiver is difficult, you want to make everything better and yet much of the time feel so helpless (don't know if I said that right but I think you know what I mean).

I will say a special prayer for your mom and entire family as you face this new challenge.

Tina

Crow71's picture
Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

I hate to hear about your mom. I hope the surgery goes well and the recovery is quick. I'll light some candles for you two.
Roger

thready's picture
thready
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

Emily,
You were there for so many of us. You have been down the road, seen the big picture, offered hope. You are the person whom you described. Those on this board that have walked so many of us through the fire are true heros.
You unselfishly shared so much wisdom about things that are difficult to find answers to. It is because of you and others who came (come) here that people like me could find suggestions that where not part of the "normal" discussions and for that I am ever grateful. Thank you.

I wish you and your mom the best. She is a very blessed mom to have a daughter who can understand and help.
Jan

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Emily,
You and your mom are in my prayers. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer in September 2010. She had surgery and then the 5 day radiation. She is fine now. I pray your mom comes through this well.
The peace that passes all comprehension is a gift.

Aloha,
Kathleen

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