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What happen on my brief &*^%$ leave of absents

Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

That scary old woman I live with is not looking so I can post this.

Well I had my office scope exam last week. There I was with my *** pointing up while he shoved that telephone pole with splinters up my butt. While he is looking around in there he says “what the hell is this”. He took biopsy samples of it. Did not even feel anything but a tug. He said I need a PET asap. That same area was clear 4 months back.

I got a PET scan yesterday. Got the scan CD and reports this morning. All looked good with a “possible” problem in the rectum. I was one happy old coot driving home.

Then I get a call from my colon doc. The biopsy he took showed that same type 3 crap is back.

Where it stands now is I will mail the PET CD to him and he will look at what my options are next week.

Quality of life is going to play a major part in what I do. I will put it on the scale of life, but now I am damn mad. Cancer does not know who it is messing with.

Well Buzz my friend, you are not the only one that got their hat knocked in the creek.
That is such a nice way of saying Oh sh*t.


Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

No one can tell a story like you! I love reading what you write. I am sorry for this recurrance. You will tell it where to go! Keep on smiling + making us smile.

thready's picture
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

O.K. Kerry, I'm counting on you. You have been a source on inspiration to many of us. I want to get me some land, a log home and a tractor (o.k. I'll let Mr Handsome drive the tractor) but we need you to whoop up on this stuff and get back to being you!!!
Darn while you are at it tell these Dr's who are always practicing to get it right and cure this cr___ (stuff)
We love you!

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008

Well, Kerry.

I'm glad to read a post from you, but I sure didn't want to read this! I'm sorry you have to go through it again, but know we will all be with you. I'll be praying cancer goes away to stay!


Linda Z's picture
Linda Z
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2010

Welcome back, I was wondering where you went. So sorry to hear about the troubles. Pulling for you for sure

impactzone's picture
Posts: 542
Joined: Aug 2006

Funny line...We unfortunately can all relate.. keep the fight going!

Buzzard's picture
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

and Im sure that Kerry will second this.....

CANCER CAN KISS OUR *** !!!!!....or whats left of it !!!

Sorry ladies and gentlemen, but we ain't going no where..we got wayyyyy to many people to make mad before we go... We got wayyy to many stories to lie (oops) I mean tell to go home now...Im sure that the Lord will keep us around a little longer just to allow us to finish all that we have to say....Well, I hope He does anyway...

Kerry, tell the wife that there are only a few things in life that we enjoy, and this is one of em. Yeah, I know, shes like my wife, shes heard all these tales 10 x over, but these folks in here haven't so we got to get through this with our"piss and vinegar" outlooks on life, and keep these people smiling, cause I really think that our purpose in life included clown suits that never arrived....Guess we'll just have to make due with what we got......and I don't know bout you but the wife told me in her own words " That ain't much "....but thats another story in its own.........Kerry, tell the misses I said howdy doo...and we'll be talkin' again soon Im sure.........Buzz

Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

You know the worst part was when he said what the hell is this, he then he called his nurse in to help him do the biopsy bit. So then I have both of them looking at my old ugly *** while it is pointing north. Pushing more tools up my butt. They had all kinds of tools shoved in there.

Now the nurse is a HOT gal in her late 40s to early 50’s. I mean the wife would just have to understand. I loved flirting with her. Well this just killed the mood with her forever. How the hell can you flirt with a Fox that has shoved tools up your butt?

Yep, you and I my friend have a different view of this cancer crap then most. It’s called “ the cancer world” according to Kerry and Buzz. Well, got to go to bed and get my body’s warriors off their dead****** and get them ready for another damn battle. We kicked cancer’s *** once, we can do it again. I sure as hell am not putting out the white flag as yet.

Kerry – The cancer slayer!!

Patteee's picture
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

thank you for the continued chuckle. You definitely have a way with the words!

Carry on

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Sorry to hear you are back in battle, but you have an advantage this round - you've been through it and know basically what to expect. As for the hot nurse...you can still flirt with her - just depends on how kinky she might be. ;)

Ok, Mr Slayer - time to rev up to do some cancer slaying! We're all here cheering you on!

just4Brooks's picture
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

Funny.... We must have the same wife and my doctor has one of them telephone poles with splinters too!! Let's not worrie too much untill you talk to the doc. One BEAUTIFUL day at a time :o)


RickMurtagh's picture
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

What!?!? Only splinters? Mine had those damned climbing pegs in it, and a braced cross piece and a transformer. I think I am bow legged now!

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6694
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear this information but you are a fighter an know this by your posts. Let us know what the doctor wants to do. You fight hard kiddo and love that you posted. Always encouraged by whatever you have to say. You are going to win this battle too.


Aud's picture
Posts: 480
Joined: Oct 2009

I'm so sorry to hear that it's back. And I'm sure you'll give it hell.
I so appreciate you being here.

greybeard64's picture
Posts: 254
Joined: Mar 2010

Wasnt happy to see this post, but I know you, and you aint met a battle you were'nt up for. I dont think I would want to be a cancer cell faced off against you. You keep being Kerry, and as for that hat in the creek, something tells me you'd have plenty of volunteers to jump in after that thing, and I am one of 'em.
Your a good man, with a great sense of humor, and a way of cutting to the heart of the matter that puts a smile on a lot of faces.


mommyof2kds's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

I have no doubt that you will beat this, I can tell by your words that you are very strong. Keep fighting.. Petrina

462lt's picture
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2010

I'm new here but have so counted on all you guys for your advice,humor and inspiration. i will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Laura

John23's picture
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

On the up-side, at least your entire procedure hasn't been posted
on YouTube yet.

(oh wait... I think I just found it HERE)

Just turn the other cheek, and move on....


Posts: 56
Joined: Oct 2009

John, I wasn't gonna fall for that but I did. That video fits Kerry's humor to the T!

Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Very funny John! You keep us on our toes!

Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003


But: I love your sprit, darling. Let's kick *****

In battle and spirit,


Crow71's picture
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

Well this pisses me right off. I've got an extra can off whoop a$$ if you need one. But it doesn't sound like you do.
Gather weapons and ammo.

idlehunters's picture
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Sorry you gotta get back in the battle field. It's so nice when the war is on hold. I know you will do good. You got a terrific attitude. Take care


lesvanb's picture
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

but I sure enjoy laughing with you. Unfortunately as someone said, Buzz?, we understand your humor.

love, Leslie

Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

I'm so glad you are back again. Missed you hugely! Sorry about the new 'problem' but I know you, if anybody can, will get your A$$ in gear and get the problem under control.
Sending you sparks and well wishes.


Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

You all know that my wife (AKA scary old woman) got me off the board because it was depressing the hell out me. I brought this post up on the screen and had her read it. She now understands that it is different for me now. You all have put more fight in me then I could muster up on my own. I am no longer on the sidelines mentally; I am now in the middle of the battle with you all again after 20 months of NED.

There is a big damn difference. Thanks my friends for your love and support.


Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009


I didn't know it was possible to put more fight in you; you are one of my heroes for the amount of fight in you. I think you can tell by these posts how much + how many people care for you! Glad we could help in any way.

pluckey's picture
Posts: 484
Joined: Jul 2009

Kerry ( and Buzz) I love your swear-like-a-sailor way with words. My 77 year old parents were constantly mortified when i'd start a run of swearing at the interns and nurses and "doogie-Housers attendings when they would do nasty procedures on me like the one you described, the barium enema from hell that failed, feeding tubes, tubes down my dose etc....I have cancer-induced Turrets Syndrome and I don't give a rats azz...it's like the only thing that made me feel better is when I could swear up and down...like getting a poisin out of your systerm...

Kerry- love and light, darlin' and a big FU to cancer too



Buzzard's picture
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

"rats azz" .......LOL...are you from Kentucky too !!!sorry bout hi jacking...im gone...

Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009


I always felt you were on the battle field with us even when you were NED. Maybe one of those blocking positions in football so we can get through the enemy.

Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008


You are such a strong and brave person. You go kick that damn cancer to the curb.....


herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Hello Kerry, that's it, stay strong, and kick that cancer's sorry arse!!!
Thinking of you, prayers your way!!
Winter Marie

lisa42's picture
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Kerry,

You have me in stiches laughing! You haven't lost your sense of humor, that's for sure! You too, Buzz! Well, watch out cancer cells- Kerry's got his armour on and is ready to fight!

I can understand about your wife not wanting you to come onto the board anymore- my husband was the same way- can't understand why I'd want to "go on a board just to get depressed". He doesn't understand that I get so much more out of the board and I have relationships with many people who understand having cancer & I also get a lot out of being able to share hope with others. I'm glad you showed your wife this post and she seems to get it a bit more now.

Take care my friend,

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Aw heck! That really *@*@*@*@*! Give it hell!

eric38's picture
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

You are just like buzzard. Way too ornery. Your internal environment is way too hostile for cancer cells to live in for very long. Your healthy cells are going to be so ticked off about the treatment you received that they are going to go on a gang related mobile assault. They are going to take a light and anally probe everyone of your cancer cells. They are going stick those cancer cells butts in the air, reach in and pull them inside out. There won't be one cancer cell left with their butt hanging out and then your healthy cells can continue being******.


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eric38's picture
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

I am happy for everybody to do good but now that we have had our crisis with the women I sure hope everything goes better for the men and that things go better for all of us in the future. There is some angry cancer killing gene out there just waiting to be used. It's gathering soldiers even as we speak. I hope someone finds it soon.


Buzzard's picture
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Its most likely right under our noses...But consider that we are the ones that may make it happen so others don't suffer.....I will sacrifice all to assure that someone someday will not have to...and I am sure that all of us would ...its just that cancer hasn't figured out just who its dealing with yet.......when it does, its gonna be in a hell of a mess................Bless all of us...and yes...we will win the war eventually, and when we do, where ever we are, we can say, "I told ya so"..... !!!! ...Love all of ya, Buzz

Sonia32's picture
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm sorry you have to go through this again, but you have such an amazing fighting spirit. You'll get throught this with your scary old woman beside you. lol hugs

geotina's picture
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009

Gosh, don't really know what to say. I'm so sorry you have to join the battle again.

No matter what you say, I think that scary old woman loves you to pieces. Take a deep breath, digest the news, move forward with your treatment options and I'm betting that scary old woman will be right next to you like a glue stick.

As far as that nurse goes, well, you could ask, "you saw mine, can I see yours?" but you might get slapped.....or she might say "get in line"!

Take care and give that scary old woman a big kiss and hug. No matter what you say, I'll bet she is in this battle with you 100% - Tina

chicoturner's picture
Posts: 285
Joined: Apr 2009

Kerry, thank you for showing the rest of us how to FIGHT! sometimes we get weary and kind of down on ourselves and our situations...You are such a benefit to us! Now...You keep up this fight, it is our turn to lift you up! You are in my prayers Kerry> Jean

hoya1973's picture
Posts: 37
Joined: May 2010

You are a pillar of strength and a role model for the rest of us. We are with you in your battle and know you will prevail.

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Kerry S's picture
Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

She is not bad looking for an old broad. In fact she looks a lot better then most her age. She did once, back in my drinking days, break my grandmother’s rolling pin hitting me with it. In our 45 years together, I have learned not to mess with her. She will sneak up on ya and get ya. All 124 pounds of her.


HollyID's picture
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

that when a frozen turkey hits him in the back of the head while we're in the frozen food section, and he asks what that was for, my reply will always be, "You know!!"

HollyID's picture
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

you are a fighter, fer sure. It sucks that you got this $hitty news whilst taking a break from us. I know your wife wants whats best for you. So do we and we know that you know what's best for you.

Put on your fightin' face. Get down and dirty. That sucky cancer has no idea who it's messing with.

We're gonna be right beside you, fighting too.

Love and Hugs


jams67's picture
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

Keep fighting! Everyone on this board counts on you.
Your wife has to be a saint!
Jo Ann

pepebcn's picture
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Jo Ann you are rigth everything makes think that the famous
old scary woman is a Saint with huge pacience!

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