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phoebe1017's picture
phoebe1017
Posts: 37
Joined: Sep 2009

I know I haven't updated everyone on Michael's condition but I've been a bit overwhelmed with everything that is happening. I had hospice come and they are going to have a nurse come twice a week to check on us.

It's hard for me to decide how much to share about what is happening with Michael. His decline has been very swift and painful for me.

It is hard to find a balance with the pain meds. If I give him the amount of medication the hospice wants me to give him, he is completely unresponsive which means I can't get him to eat or drink anything. If I decrease the meds, he is somewhat lucid and can recognize people and communicate a bit. But with that comes the problem if him trying to get out of bed on his own and he is still somewhat disoriented and very weak. Unfortunately the decision is going to be out of my hands very quickly. It is becoming increasingly difficult for him to swallow pills. I will probably have to give him a fentanyl patch tomorrow.

This disease is wretched!

lcarper2
Posts: 638
Joined: Dec 2009

I am sorry for your loss but I am rejoicing in the fact that he is with cancer no more he is free of what burdened him and he is in the arms of the Lord , we are left to cry and wonder why some one so young had to leave this earth so early , the Bible tells us that when it is time for us to go it is because there is something in the future that we are being spared of. I didn't know you that long but it was long enough to know you loved your husband and will miss him forever. Please know I am praying for you and your family.

lcarper2
Posts: 638
Joined: Dec 2009

I am sorry for your loss but I am rejoicing in the fact that he is with cancer no more he is free of what burdened him and he is in the arms of the Lord , we are left to cry and wonder why some one so young had to leave this earth so early , the Bible tells us that when it is time for us to go it is because there is something in the future that we are being spared of. I didn't know you that long but it was long enough to know you loved your husband and will miss him forever. Please know I am praying for you and your family.

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

that "the only thing they can take with them is a piece of your heart".

Michael has but moved...from in front of your eyes, into your heart, where he will live on forever.

Hugs, Kathi

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I am so sorry and so very sad to hear he has passed, but i believe he is in a better pain free place. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

God Bless
Beth

krf's picture
krf
Posts: 99
Joined: Dec 2009

I am so very sorry. I am glad that Michael was able to leave surrounded by your love.

Sharon57
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2009

Phoebe, I've followed your postings since coming to this site after my husband was diagnosed last September, and it breaks my heart Michael has passed. Thank you for being so brave in the face of this terrible disease, and accept my deepest sympathies.

MelanieT's picture
MelanieT
Posts: 188
Joined: Nov 2009

I am sooo very sorry for your loss.. This is a horrible disease and truly does not care who it affects.. my heart is with you and your family..
loves,
Mel

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

To hear about your loss. I hate this disease! I pray you will find peace, strength and courage through this difficult time. I cannot imagine how difficult this is and how difficult this will be for your boys without their father. Prayers coming your way.

Nicksangels
Posts: 41
Joined: Sep 2008

Im so sorry for your loss, may God bless you and your family. Your husband Michael will be your Angel looking over all of you.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry for your loss, and for that of your sons. Please know you and the boys are in my thoughts. Thank-you for letting us know about his passing.

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Words can not express how sorry I am for your loss. May God bring you peace during this time. Our love and thoughts go out to you and your boys during this very sad time.

In Love,
Diane

melissaincali's picture
melissaincali
Posts: 34
Joined: Sep 2009

Phoebe,
Just read your news. My deepest sympathy to your family. My heart goes out to you and your boys. I will be thinking of you in the coming days and praying for strength, courage, and much needed rest for you. I have been without my wonderful husband Brant for a month now and have an almost 4 year old boy. Please let me know if I can help in anyway or if you ever want to talk.
Love,
Melissa

JDuke's picture
JDuke
Posts: 443
Joined: Nov 2009

I am so sorry that this disease took your husband and your boys father. It is infuriating. Both you and Michael were so courageous through his fight. If your love for each other had been enough to keep him here, I would not be typing this post. I hope that in the coming days you will find comfort in knowing that you did all that was possible to help him. You and your family will remain in my prayers.
Joanne

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

How saddened I am by this news, thank you so much for letting us know, I hate this disease with a passion!! but know, he didn't give up, and the disease didn't win, he was now freed from it, and the good lord will guide him to where you will all be together again one day. Like Brooks said, I hope he holds the door open for me as well, I am in tears now, and feel saddened for you and your family. It's great you were by his side through all of it, and he didn't go alone, let me know if you ever need to talk, we're still here for you, and please stay with us and let us know how you and the boys are doing, we'll still be thinking of you all, and praying for you all.

Hugsss!!
~Donna

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

So sorry for your loss. When my sister's husband passed away, all I could tell her was to be strong, one foot in front of the other, and one day, you will be alright! She told me she remembered those words and that kept her going.....hope it helps you some.

XXXXXXX

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6512
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry for your loss. It just seems such a short amount of time since he found out. Wishing you God's healing hands now and in the future.

Kim

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, Phoebe.

I'm so very sorry. I just hate that you and your family have to go through this. If it is some small comfort to you in this horrible moment, I want to tell you that you sound like a very loving and wonderful caregiver. I'm sure you made Michael feel very loved.

Please continue to be part of our group and let us know how y'all are doing.

*hugs*
Gail

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Phoebe,
My heart just breaks for you. You have been a wonderful caregiver to your beloved husband. I will continue to hold you and your boys in prayer. We will continue to be with you as you morn the loss of Michael. So very, very sorry.

Aloha,
Kathleen

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Phoebe,
I am so sorry for your loss. You, Mike and your family have been in my prayers. Please know that there are so many on this board that care so much. Let us know what we can do to help you get through these difficult days.

Hugs to you,

Priscilla in San Antonio

pokismom's picture
pokismom
Posts: 153
Joined: Jul 2009

Dear Phoebe,
May god bless you and your family and give you the time to mourn, the time to heal and the time to remember all the good times that you all had together. Be kind to yourselves.
Much love,
Donna

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Phoebe

My heart like so many others on the board are saddened today. This is a post that we feared we might see, but hoping we would not. You kept us updated so well and I think we all knew from your updates that things were not going well, but we all kept up hope.

The Semi;Colon life is a hard one. When one of us Wins, we all win and when one of us Loses, then we all lose. And we have lost a great person in Michael today.

My words cannot adequately express what I'm feeling for you right now. I cannot think of anything worse than being a CareGiver and watching your loved one slip away while you care for them. You have a strength that is undeniable. In the short time you have been here, we have gotten to know you and have been glad to have you here with us.

Things are obviously much worse for you right now and I can't imagine what you are feeling and dealing with at this moment. I do pray that time will help to ease some of your pain. Your husband was a good man and he fought with all of his being to beat this thing. And you did all that you could do as his wife and CareGiver to help him with your battle.

I pray that he is at peace - and that you can find some solace to help you through these trying days ahead.

I want to thank you and Mike for your courage and bravery. You both have inspired many of us to new heights and you have showed all of us how to live our lives to the end with Grace and Dignity.

I can understand you wanting to forget about Cancer now - but perhaps in time you will come back and check in with us to tell us how you are doing. I feel that as a Caregiver that you would have much to offer the board on what it takes to be one. I hope to hear from you again one day.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family during this difficult time of your lives. My heart is heavy for you and it was a shock to read this first thing on Sunday morning. But there is never a good time for that.

The Semi;Colon family holds you in our hearts forever and we still walk with you on your continuing journey.

-Craig

Bear23's picture
Bear23
Posts: 84
Joined: Jan 2010

..with the good memories that you have of Michael. God grant you continued strength as you go through the next few weeks and the life you have with your boys ahead of you. I am so sorry for your loss.

Bear

Hatshepsut's picture
Hatshepsut
Posts: 340
Joined: Nov 2006

Words seem like such an inadequate tool at a time like this. How can mere words convey adequate comfort to a family whose hearts are so heavy? Nevertheless, words are what I have. Please accept my sincere condolences for your family's loss. I sincerely hope that your family will find peace and comfort.

Hatshepsut

impactzone's picture
impactzone
Posts: 538
Joined: Aug 2006

Words can not express my sorrow...It will hurt for a long while but life finds a way...take care of yourself...

respectfully

Chip

daydreamer110761's picture
daydreamer110761
Posts: 497
Joined: Dec 2008

your posts. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Joy1216's picture
Joy1216
Posts: 293
Joined: Mar 2006

I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your children are in my prayers.
Joy

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

This is very sad,you and your family are in my thoughts.

michelle

cowman
Posts: 61
Joined: Jun 2009

We join the others with great sorrow in our hearts. We are praying for you and your family. Please let us know how you are doing when the time is right.

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Adrian was looking for this.

jillpls's picture
jillpls
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2008

Phoebe, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know that one day I too will face this with myself. I think I would want to be out of pain both physically and emotionally. I think the emotional pain can be worse sometimes. My heart goes out to you and to your husband. Please know that I will keep you both in prayer to give you strength and hope for a better tomorrow. Take care of yourself while taking care of hubby.
JIll

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elizabethgd
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. elizabeth

AceSFO's picture
AceSFO
Posts: 230
Joined: Sep 2009

Dear Phoebe - I'm so sorry for your loss. I hadn't been on the board much lately and just learned about what's going on with you. Know that I am wishing you strength and grace at this time.
He will always be with you and your children and everyone else who loves him. I'm sure you'll see him in certain phrases and gestures and be reminded of how many people still love him.

Adrian

pluckey's picture
pluckey
Posts: 484
Joined: Jul 2009

So many eloquent words posted here....I will lift prayers for you, Michael and your family so that you all me receive the support, peace and understanding you need to get through this saddest of times.

((HUGSS)

Peggy

Fb489
Posts: 69
Joined: Sep 2009

May god help you and the children during this difficult time.
Take it one day at a time, keep in touch.

ann2008's picture
ann2008
Posts: 119
Joined: Nov 2009

Read about the sad news but haven't had a chance to post. So sorry about Michael losing his battle to this awful disease. But so glad that he had you all there with him. How comforting for him and for you too. Please keep in touch. God bless you and your family. Ann

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