Cancer is where our fight should be....NOT GOD!!!

CherylHutch said:

Huggggs Hatshepsut!
I just wanted to say that you have been missed BIG time. After the last Religion Flamewar in here back in 2009(?) I had enough of the one or two leopards and their changing accounts (their spots never changed and they didn't seem to understand that) so I left. I must admit, when it happened today and the leopards showed up in new accounts, but not clever enough to cover their spots, I actually thought it was funny and sad at the same time. Sad that an adult has to pull that trick on a support board just to get attention. But I came back to the board because of you and some of the other gems in this forum. I was so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I realize there's not much need for you to come back and it may even be painful or bring back painful memories.... but you know we would LOVE to have you hang out here. I just love reading your posts!!

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

geotina said:

Buckwirth:
I was on line late last night and witnessed what went on in here. It has been on my mind all day long, thank you for putting the whole episode into words, much kinder words than were used last night. CSN pulled it later or early this morning, thank goodness, so the rest of the board did not have to read it.

Tina

Ciaran said:

Okay I will admit TL:DR a
Okay I will admit TL:DR a tad. Got about half way down the thread and gave up.

I too am a Catholic from Derry. Saying that however, I consider myself to be agnostic at best.

I have been lurking on this board for a while now, and I will be honest that lines such as "God has a plan" etc... I personally don't agree with. As I simply don't believe that any deity would be cruel enough to inflict a disease of this nature on anyone. Sometimes I read the long threads about "god having a plan", "the doctors don't know everything, have faith in god", "only faith in god will save you" etc.... and I do find myself wanting to object. At times I find myself wanting to scream at those threads and argue with the blind and absolute faith that they exhibit. I don't wish to be preached to, I want someone to save the people I hold dear and save the sermons for someone with faith. I am a man rooted in science and fact, i have faith in medicine and the years of development put into it and it is medicine that I hope will save my beloved.

However when i divorce myself from my anger and analyze why I am angry with these people, it is not really to do with them or their faith. These people are scared too and searching for hope as much as I am. In my heart of heart's I know this and I then have to acknowledge that I am terrified about what is happening in my life and I am jealous that these people can gain solace in something which is just too distant from me to engage in. My anger is a dark and ugly emotion born from envy and hopelessness. It is the yearning to be comforted while knowing that nothing can truly comfort me and I envy those people their faith and the peace they gain from it. Their words of kindness don't salve my pain, as I simply don't believe in the same things they do.

If you are an atheist on this board, ask yourself the one question that i ask myself all the time, what right do you have to prevent people from seeking solace in the way that calls to them most? If someone could tell me that their is a father figure that will help us bear through the hard times and if things come to the worst will take us by the hand to paradise. To not be scared of our loved ones passing but to rejoice because their pain has ended. If I could truly believe that, I would be more thankful than I could ever describe on this board.

The people here, from what I can tell, differ greatly but we are similar in certain ways. We are all scared of what it is either we or a loved one are going through and thus we come here for a safe environment to express those fears, look for hope and in some cases simply a desire to find comfort in others who understand personally what we are going through.

This is not simply a medical science board. This is a network of people, drawn together by common calamities in our lives. Many of us are at our lowest ebb and many of us feel lost. This board can provide hope, direction and support.

For many people an essential part of that hope and support is religious in nature. Their faith gets them through. Those of us here are united by something that no one should have to cope with. We have little in common on the surface but beneath that we all have the same deep understanding of what it is to see death and fight tooth and nail to beat it. It is therefore beyond me why anyone here would object to people finding solace in faith and offering that same solace to others. We are different in many ways, but we come here to offer hope, comfort and solace. Some of us can do that through lending a caring ear, some through offering advice about treatments and some can offer prayers and good wishes.

I lost my father to cancer when I was 16, my best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year and my partner (and husband to be if he will take me) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 3 weeks ago. I am only 29 and within the next 2 years cancer will probably be responsible for taking away the only 3 men I have ever loved. If people here can offer me hope when i am lost in despair, support when i feel i cant go on and prayers and good wishes if nothing more can be done. Then the people here will have been true friends to me and I will cherish my time here with them, regardless of if I share their faith or not.

I am not a religious man, but I respect the people on this board. I respect the strength and courage many show in the face of massive odds. I respect their ability to keep going when deep down you only want to hide and most of all I respect their faith. Their faith in each other, their faith in those they love and, for some, their faith in a greater power.

We are united here in our darkest hour, none of us should wish too, let alone try, to rob anyone here from what brings them hope and lightens that darkness.

I hasten to add, that I do not condone preaching on any forum. A prayer said is a fine thing as good wishes are noble, (and who knows, maybe religions are right, thus I'm glad someone is kind enough to cover all the bases for me, when i can't). Ranting at people however, that they have to believe in Christ to be saved, is quite different and something that no one needs on this board. Be they religious or not, no one needs to be told that faith alone will save them, as the suggestion their is always that one didn't have enough faith if this vile illness beats them. It attaches a degree of personal blame to the individual in connection with something which is essentially blameless and personally I find these comments more accusatory than comforting.

So in conclusion, I am all for people offering medical advice, a kind word or prayers for the people I love. It is all welcome and it is why I come to this site.

May you be happy and well and for those with faith, may your god be with you.

Ciarán

Ciaran said:

if it only it were 6 days
I've only been a member here for 6 days, but I have been lurking on these boards for over a year now.

As for religion. I am a happily lapsed catholic. I was very religious once, (even went to seminary to be a priest), but those days are far behind me.

I just acknowledge that faith was a great comfort to me at one point and at time's like this it is something I miss. Alas I can't reclaim that faith just for comfort. Genuine faith is born from something other than desperation and that none-defined thing just isn't in me anymore.

I thought it was important to post, as I'm a token agnostic, verging on atheist, who at least acknowledges the importance and power that faith can have in some people's lives. So I can kinda see both sides of the argument. (however that's obviously from a very subjective viewpoint and in no way do i mean to imply that anyone else who self defines as atheist or agnostic, envies people of faith, that's just a personal thing.)

Buckwirth said:

Thanks for the support
While I have never really been an IT specialist, I was president of a computer club in 1980, and have always enjoyed gadgets and what can be done with them.

Boards like CSN are not a free speech zone, nor should they be if we actually want to keep them on topic and pertinent. It only takes one troll to move a board off topic, and a couple of them, left unchecked, will destroy all of the comradarie ever earned in this shared battle.

If you want to discuss politics there are thousands of places to go and do that, if you want to explain that only some deity can actually cure your disease, there are hundreds of places to go and do that.

If however, you want help with your cancer, well, CSN is a voice in the wilderness, open to all who are civil and can follow a few rules that aid in that civility. It is a secular place, and you will be greeted with open arms, regardless of age, sex, religion or politics. It can be this BECAUSE it has a restricted mission with restricted speech. Learn it, love it, and know that those who wish to change it do so at YOUR peril.

plh4gail said:

Can we all just get along?
This is what I want to know. I joined this board because it was made of a group of people with similar circumstances, not that we are all exact in out situations. We have certain similarities. I had an iliostomy, but don't any longer. TMac52 has a colostomy for life. Nanab has been out of treatment for months. Winter Marie just went through major surgery. We all have our differences. We have different lifestyles, different healings, different Doctors, different treatments, and different beliefs that help us through our cancer treatment process. I don't see anyone telling me I don't belong because my recovery is different. I don't know if my cancer will be gone after chemo or if it will come back. Somedays I pray I pray I will never have to deal with it again, others I curse the disease for being a part of my life. We are not here to judge others or to persecute their beliefs. It's just not our job to monitor how others get by from day to day. It is polite to not push our beliefs onto others whether that is religious or none.............so I am wondering if we can all agree that Bambi hit it right on the target with "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say nothin' at all".

Just me being me, Gail