mothers & daughters
Are there any other mothers out there who have been through this themselves and with their own daughters? Love to hear from you.
Comments
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Not I, but 1 of our younger WARRIORS, Miss Heatherbelle
went thru, chemo and surgeries .. only to have her Mom diagnosised with breast cancer -- If I recall correctly, both even sat side by side during several chemo treatments . I hope she chimes in here ...
Strength and Courage,
Vicki Sam0 -
i'm notVickiSam said:Not I, but 1 of our younger WARRIORS, Miss Heatherbelle
went thru, chemo and surgeries .. only to have her Mom diagnosised with breast cancer -- If I recall correctly, both even sat side by side during several chemo treatments . I hope she chimes in here ...
Strength and Courage,
Vicki Sam
I'm not in the same situation as you, but just wanted to welcome you here and to let you know that having been through this yourself, you can be an enormous help to her. Best wishes to you both. AND congratulations to you - a 14 year survivor!
Marsha0 -
Thank you for the welcome -Marsha Mulvey said:i'm not
I'm not in the same situation as you, but just wanted to welcome you here and to let you know that having been through this yourself, you can be an enormous help to her. Best wishes to you both. AND congratulations to you - a 14 year survivor!
Marsha
Thank you for the welcome -0 -
Hello Mellindy
I am the reverse, I was in treatment the same time as my mother was. I clearly recall how "guilty" my mom felt that both my sister and I had breast cancer. She felt it was her fault that she carried the gene and she passed it on to us. I only mention this because I was horrified when I understood her feelings in regards to our illness. I in no uncertain terms told her it was not her fault, it is simply my lot in life that we all get something and my something is cancer. I told her what she gave me was LIFE, she gave me all that I have because she was my mom. I tell you this because should you happen to have even an inkling of this type of thought please dismiss it. My mom was very supportive during my treatment, her knowledge of how I felt both emotionally and physically helped me a lot. I wish you and your daughter all the best.
Hugs,
RE0 -
Mothers...
Glad you found us, sorry for the reason...Welcome.....
not in your situation, but your being a14 year survivor is an inspiration to your daughter and to all of us who are fighting this disease. Being the mother of a 37 year old daughter I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch your precious daughter go through this..
This Site a wonderful place to find comfort...please keep us posted..we care
Peace be with you and offering prayers for you both
Nancy0 -
What a wonderful gift youRE said:Hello Mellindy
I am the reverse, I was in treatment the same time as my mother was. I clearly recall how "guilty" my mom felt that both my sister and I had breast cancer. She felt it was her fault that she carried the gene and she passed it on to us. I only mention this because I was horrified when I understood her feelings in regards to our illness. I in no uncertain terms told her it was not her fault, it is simply my lot in life that we all get something and my something is cancer. I told her what she gave me was LIFE, she gave me all that I have because she was my mom. I tell you this because should you happen to have even an inkling of this type of thought please dismiss it. My mom was very supportive during my treatment, her knowledge of how I felt both emotionally and physically helped me a lot. I wish you and your daughter all the best.
Hugs,
RE
What a wonderful gift you gave your mother with your response. My daughter tested negative for BRCA1 and Herta and I was told mine was hormone related. That doesn't mean the feelings of guilt don't come up, but intellectually I know what you say is true. My daughter has her own theory of why she got it (to make herself a better RN, she said). I don't know many of the why's but it is truly a bonding event in our lives. And yes, it is difficult to watch her pain and suffering. If I could do it all over again instead of her, I would.0 -
I have to echo what NancyMAJW said:Mothers...
Glad you found us, sorry for the reason...Welcome.....
not in your situation, but your being a14 year survivor is an inspiration to your daughter and to all of us who are fighting this disease. Being the mother of a 37 year old daughter I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch your precious daughter go through this..
This Site a wonderful place to find comfort...please keep us posted..we care
Peace be with you and offering prayers for you both
Nancy
I have to echo what Nancy and the others said. Sorry you are here but welcome.
Stef0 -
Welcome Mellindy, It must be
Welcome Mellindy, It must be very difficult to watch your daughter go through this. I must say I'm a little scared for my daughter (she's 21) and pray everyday she doesn't have to go through it. If she does, I'll hold her hand as she held mine, she was my angel the entire time. Looks like I'm going to hit round two, they found mets to my spine, and I can say, rather me than her. We love our daughters and don't want them to get this beast but I believe you will inspire your daughter with your 14 year survivor-ship. God Bless, and come here often for support as you walk this journey with your daughter.
Hugz,
Kari0 -
Mellindy, I wanted to
Mellindy, I wanted to welcome you to this amazing group, too. I am not in your same situation but also have a 25 year old daughter that I pray never has to get on this rollercoaster. Congratulations on being a 14 year survivor! I am certain you are of great support and comfort for your daughter. This great site is open 24/7 and someone is usually available. Good luck to you and your daughter.0 -
so sorry you and your daughter
so sorry your daughter is going through this! I wish you both the best!0 -
Welcomedisneyfan2008 said:so sorry you and your daughter
so sorry your daughter is going through this! I wish you both the best!
I am not in your situation but wanted to welcome you. This board is a great place for info and support. As a Mom of a 28 yr.old daughter I know it has to be hard for you. I pray my daughter never has to go through this battle. Prayers for both of you. God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice0 -
Stay Strong
Your post brought tears to my eyes. As hard as this experience has been on me, the last thing I want to do is watch my daughter go through the same thing. Maybe you went through it first so you could lend support to her now. She has the best possible support person anyone could wish for...her mom. Stay strong. Much love to you both.0 -
I'm really sorry for whatNJMom10 said:Stay Strong
Your post brought tears to my eyes. As hard as this experience has been on me, the last thing I want to do is watch my daughter go through the same thing. Maybe you went through it first so you could lend support to her now. She has the best possible support person anyone could wish for...her mom. Stay strong. Much love to you both.
I'm really sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. Like many others I have a daughter, (33) and have often thought about this possibility. As someone who's been there I'm sure you are a great comfort to your daughter. Warmest wishes to you both.0 -
I went through it last yearGayleMc said:I'm really sorry for what
I'm really sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. Like many others I have a daughter, (33) and have often thought about this possibility. As someone who's been there I'm sure you are a great comfort to your daughter. Warmest wishes to you both.
My mom was just diagnosed this week, cancer in both breasts! It is scary. We thought we had no family history, and know we have a history! I was fortunate to find my lump early, and had a lumpectomy with radiation, and tamoxifen. My mom will be having a double mastectomy, we do not know her treatment yet. Funny thing was my mom mentioned that she thought that she had an aunt that had a mastectomy, "MOM that is so important to know". Now we are going to research to see if I can find this out for sure. I have been praying that my family would never have to experience this, I am sad for her, that she has to experience this!0 -
HI Mj - so sorry your mom ismjjones453 said:I went through it last year
My mom was just diagnosed this week, cancer in both breasts! It is scary. We thought we had no family history, and know we have a history! I was fortunate to find my lump early, and had a lumpectomy with radiation, and tamoxifen. My mom will be having a double mastectomy, we do not know her treatment yet. Funny thing was my mom mentioned that she thought that she had an aunt that had a mastectomy, "MOM that is so important to know". Now we are going to research to see if I can find this out for sure. I have been praying that my family would never have to experience this, I am sad for her, that she has to experience this!
HI Mj - so sorry your mom is going through this too. As for hereditary factors, I had no family history that I knew of and my daughter's doctors have told her it is not hereditary in her case. Mine was thought to be hormone related. My daughter has tested negative for the genes. Soooo - although it means your risk factors go up if someone related had it, it doesn't mean one gave it to another. And, as bad as it seems, it is definitely a bonding experience between mother and daughter. I wish your mom well, and hope both of you have many cancer-free years ahead together.0 -
daughter update
My daughter has had her first round of chemo, got very sick, lost her hair, shaved her head and has the most amazing attitude I have every seen. She's bounced back now, and is prancing around with her bald head and getting compliments. She also has two new wigs to wear through all this. Wednesday is my birthday and she is going to have lunch with me and then we are going to her plastic surgeon for a "fill" and then Thurs. she has her second round. Tough? Yes, but she will survive with flying colors (pink of course!).
Just wanted you all to know.0 -
Hi Mellindymellindy said:daughter update
My daughter has had her first round of chemo, got very sick, lost her hair, shaved her head and has the most amazing attitude I have every seen. She's bounced back now, and is prancing around with her bald head and getting compliments. She also has two new wigs to wear through all this. Wednesday is my birthday and she is going to have lunch with me and then we are going to her plastic surgeon for a "fill" and then Thurs. she has her second round. Tough? Yes, but she will survive with flying colors (pink of course!).
Just wanted you all to know.
I just read
Hi Mellindy I just read your initial thread on here asking about mothers & daughters - first off I want to say that I'm SO GLAD to hear that your daughter is getting through chemo well and handling everything like a champ. I'm sure that she got her bravery and good attitude from her mama
I was diagnosed with IDC in June of lasst year, and in August, right after my 2nd chemo treatment, my mom was also diagnosed with IDC. I had found mine via a lump in my right breast, while my mom's showed up on her annual mammogram. We have no other family history -and I'm the mother of 2 little girls myself and frankly terrified at the thought of them going through this. We haven't had any genetic testing as of yet. I know there must be some reason mom & I ended up sharing this together, I just can't figure it out yet. I am grateful that I went through it first though - it made it MUCH LESS scarier for my mom & i think that since I was fighting cancer myself at the time of mom's diagnosis, it didn't hit me quite as hard that my mom had cancer. I was 34 at diagnosis and my mom had just turned 60.
We have always had a very close relationship, but yes, this experience has brought us even closer together.
I'm glad you're on here Mellindy & please keep us updated on how your daughter is getting through treatment!
*hugs*
Heather0 -
Mothers and daughters can take on the world!Heatherbelle said:Hi Mellindy
I just read
Hi Mellindy I just read your initial thread on here asking about mothers & daughters - first off I want to say that I'm SO GLAD to hear that your daughter is getting through chemo well and handling everything like a champ. I'm sure that she got her bravery and good attitude from her mama
I was diagnosed with IDC in June of lasst year, and in August, right after my 2nd chemo treatment, my mom was also diagnosed with IDC. I had found mine via a lump in my right breast, while my mom's showed up on her annual mammogram. We have no other family history -and I'm the mother of 2 little girls myself and frankly terrified at the thought of them going through this. We haven't had any genetic testing as of yet. I know there must be some reason mom & I ended up sharing this together, I just can't figure it out yet. I am grateful that I went through it first though - it made it MUCH LESS scarier for my mom & i think that since I was fighting cancer myself at the time of mom's diagnosis, it didn't hit me quite as hard that my mom had cancer. I was 34 at diagnosis and my mom had just turned 60.
We have always had a very close relationship, but yes, this experience has brought us even closer together.
I'm glad you're on here Mellindy & please keep us updated on how your daughter is getting through treatment!
*hugs*
Heather
Hi Mellindy and welcome to you and your daughter
Im new to these boards and can say Im so grateful for all the support and knowledge that this amazing group of woman have! Especially as Im in New Zealand and we just don't have anything like this here!
Im 30, have 2 young children and diagnosed with stage 2 invasive tumor, DCIS and Pagets disease in my right "busy boob" I had a masectomy 18th Jan and am about to start chemo in a couple of weeks,followed by radiation after that.
My mum has 3 cousins who had breast cancer in their early 40's and also had the BRACII gene, her sister had breast cancer last year at 69 but did not get tested. She decided not to get tested for the gene but has had yearly mamograms with no problems at all since age 40 - she is 54 now.
Still with this history I really thought I was far too young to get this but life has a funny way of testing your strength!! I am getting tested in April this year and will need to decide (if it comes back positive) what I will do for my daughter who is 7.
Mum is racked with guilt and has taken the diagnosis much harder than I have, her thoughts are filled with "what ifs" and "if onlys".....but the best thing she has tought me is that - it is what it is and the only way out is thru it!! I have to remind her that she is my idol and I only hope to be an amazing woman like her...1 day when I grow up lol
I bet your daughter looks to you in the same way...to have an amazing mum who has "been there, done that" and lives to tell the tale 14 years later is one of the most inspirational stories I have read here....she KNOWS she can do it,because YOU have SHOWN her how to...the way she is dealing with this all is a testament to what an amazing mum you are!
Im so glad you found this group too...and am looking forward to your updates
Lotsa love and hugs to you both!!
Dee xx0 -
Hi Dee,Dee said:Mothers and daughters can take on the world!
Hi Mellindy and welcome to you and your daughter
Im new to these boards and can say Im so grateful for all the support and knowledge that this amazing group of woman have! Especially as Im in New Zealand and we just don't have anything like this here!
Im 30, have 2 young children and diagnosed with stage 2 invasive tumor, DCIS and Pagets disease in my right "busy boob" I had a masectomy 18th Jan and am about to start chemo in a couple of weeks,followed by radiation after that.
My mum has 3 cousins who had breast cancer in their early 40's and also had the BRACII gene, her sister had breast cancer last year at 69 but did not get tested. She decided not to get tested for the gene but has had yearly mamograms with no problems at all since age 40 - she is 54 now.
Still with this history I really thought I was far too young to get this but life has a funny way of testing your strength!! I am getting tested in April this year and will need to decide (if it comes back positive) what I will do for my daughter who is 7.
Mum is racked with guilt and has taken the diagnosis much harder than I have, her thoughts are filled with "what ifs" and "if onlys".....but the best thing she has tought me is that - it is what it is and the only way out is thru it!! I have to remind her that she is my idol and I only hope to be an amazing woman like her...1 day when I grow up lol
I bet your daughter looks to you in the same way...to have an amazing mum who has "been there, done that" and lives to tell the tale 14 years later is one of the most inspirational stories I have read here....she KNOWS she can do it,because YOU have SHOWN her how to...the way she is dealing with this all is a testament to what an amazing mum you are!
Im so glad you found this group too...and am looking forward to your updates
Lotsa love and hugs to you both!!
Dee xx
Your wonderful post
Hi Dee,
Your wonderful post came to me on my birthday! It was a wonderful day because I spent it with my daughter. She started out by giving me a card that told me how special I am to her, and I cried so much I couldn't read it all!. We had lunch and I took her to her plastic surgeon for a "fill". Tomorrow she gets her second round of chemo. Yes, I am here for her, feel for her, and even have some guilt which I try to tell myself is unfounded. Ironically I found out last week that I had a first cousin who had breast cancer in the mid 1950's. We lost her, but treatment has changed very much since then and even since I was treated in 1996-7. What I want to say is this - with breast cancer touching one out of approximately 8 women, it's hard to say what is the cause. I have just entered a research program that will explore Eastern European ancestry and my friend is doing one that looks at African American trends (she has 3 daughters). Your momm is extraordinary in her philosophy that "the best way out is thru it". I love that.
Good luck with your treatment. Mellindy0
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