feeling helpless with my dads condition

I wish i could hug you all and make all ur suffering better, but i can't. "I feel just as helplesss with my dad". i just don't know how to make things better!! i wrote him this and it inspired him. i hope it helps any of u too. I remember all of you in my prayers.....i know most of u live very far away from gibraltar but if u are ever near, know you have a friend here. xxxxxx
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Letter to my new guest
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Dear uninvited guest,(cancer)

I never invited you; you never even introduced yourself until you were settled in. I never made you feel comfortable, yet you continue to dwell in my body. Slowly you are trying to invade every corner, trying to claim it bit by bit. At home we talk of nothing but you since you came into my life

I never thought that I would be saying this, but one day you and I will become friends. I will know as much about you as you have come to know about me. I must admit that when I first met you, I was afraid of you. I am no longer afraid. I just feel indignant at the way you forced yourself into my life.

I can’t make you go away, though I want you to know, that I'll never stop trying to. Don’t make yourself comfortable, I will never let you relax. Continue trying to steal from me, I won’t give you anything without a fight. I know that you will win a few battles but you have to know that I intend to win the war

So, if you are planning on staying for a while, there are a few things that you should know!

• If there is one in a million who make it, be warned that I will be fighting
this as if I am that one in the million!
• There are days when I will decide that you are not going to wear me out.
• You are going to have to hear me when I tell you “NOT TODAY!” Most of the time
I will decide to spend my day pretendig that you are not here.
• There will come a time when, with help from God, my family, friends and doctors,
that we WILL get rid of you. You might come back uninvited again, but by then
I'll be stronger. I will know that I have beaten you before and I will know that
I can do it again
• I will teach you to be compassionate in front of my kids. Nothing you can ever do
can be stronger than the love and support they give me everyday. I can feel you
die a little when I am surrounded by my children. I will not allow you to show
your ugly side when they are around. Their love and faith will help me do that.
• I know you will try your hardest to shake my faith, but I will make you feel the
same peace and love I feel when I pray. At the end of the day you have to know
that only God decides if it’s time for you or me to leave. But I will show you
that faith can move mountains! (I think that I am showing you already!)
• I will allow you to meet my wife. She is the person who shares all my joys, my
sorrows and pain. She is the person who will be helping me to cope with you on a
daily basis. You will be touched by her beauty; both inside and out. By the way
she loves and cares for me, by her unconditional love. You will feel the need to
be at your best when in her presence and I will appreciate that. But even if you
decide to show her your ugly side, don’t be mistaken by her gentle nature. When it
comes to me, my wife is the strongest most resilient person you will ever come
across. She will do anything in her power to get rid of you. I don’t think that
she will ever be your friend! She will make sure that I take those tablets. The
ones that make you go away. She will cook the most nutritious, lovely food to
ensure that I have all the strength I need to kick you out. But most importantly
of all, she is the one who is going to give me all the encouragement and love I
need to get through this. There’s no medication that can match that!
• One day, but not for a very long time, I might decide that I don’t wish to fight
you any longer. Don’t count on this though, as this is not very likely, but until
then, learn to live with me. I can be very stubborn. When I say NO I mean
NO,and if im not ready to go anywhere yet….I ain’t going!!

So if you decide to stay for a while, remember that you have not been invited. Don’t expect me to plan my life around you. By all means if you like travelling, come along I’m planning next years holiday. If like me, you have a good appetite, come to dinner. I love eating out. I hope you enjoy celebrating special occasions because I am planning on enjoying many Christmases, birthdays and other festivities with my family. Just don’t expect to run my life. I am in control. This is my life and there is so much that I am allowing you to take over!

PS: I don’t think that we will ever be the best of friends but if you are planning on staying a while we must learn to get along.




‘Conditionally’ Yours




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