Lost the love of my life to Breast Cancer

2

Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #22
    It's always harder on the
    It's always harder on the ones left behind. Take comfort in that she is not in pain now. Hugs.
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #23
    outdoorgirl said:

    tough,
    you can post on here as often as you want for as long as you want!
    I am sorry for the loss of your wife-I can't imagine what you are going through. Don't know what I would do without the love of my life..
    Though you cannot see us face to face,we have a caring and warm bunch on here. No one is judgemental,and people are very understanding and wanting to help and listen.
    I hope that given time,life gets a little bit easier for you.

    So sorry for the loss of
    So sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. Praying that you will find strength and feel better with time.


    Hugs,


    Debby
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #24
    So sorry about your loss
    I know it sounds cliche but it is so true, to have love and lost than to have never
    loved is better. You found the Love of your life, how many people can say that?

    I am so sorry about your pain, a heart break is a tough thing to recover from. Since
    you can't reason with your heart. Try to pour your love into something else, maybe
    animals at a shelter or volunteer work. Don't bottle up your grief, come here and
    lean on us anytime you feel the need.

    I am probably not the best person to give advise, I have never been married and
    can't imagine spending a life time with a person, building a life, becoming a part
    of each other and suddenly that part is gone. I can only start to imagine your pain.

    wishing you strength and courage to go on.

    Ayse
  • EllenaMaria
    EllenaMaria Member Posts: 69
    #25
    Marcia527 said:

    It's always harder on the
    It's always harder on the ones left behind. Take comfort in that she is not in pain now. Hugs.

    I think that knowing I may
    I think that knowing I may leave my spouse one day because of this is harder than actually having cancer. I don't know how he does it every day, worrying about me, wondering if we will be as blessed as you have been to have so many years together.

    Because my husband loses 25% of his patients every year, and it is always the really nice patients, he has come up with an important thing he says to them. Eat dessert first. It is so good to know that you were both able to spend the last 6 months together.

    I think in time you will find your purpose in all this. The spirit of your beloved will guide you. Take strength in her love for you and live the life she would want you to have.
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    #26
    aysemari said:

    So sorry about your loss
    I know it sounds cliche but it is so true, to have love and lost than to have never
    loved is better. You found the Love of your life, how many people can say that?

    I am so sorry about your pain, a heart break is a tough thing to recover from. Since
    you can't reason with your heart. Try to pour your love into something else, maybe
    animals at a shelter or volunteer work. Don't bottle up your grief, come here and
    lean on us anytime you feel the need.

    I am probably not the best person to give advise, I have never been married and
    can't imagine spending a life time with a person, building a life, becoming a part
    of each other and suddenly that part is gone. I can only start to imagine your pain.

    wishing you strength and courage to go on.

    Ayse

    Dear Tough, Your words
    Dear Tough, Your words reflect such pain about the loss of your wife. Sorry about her passing and sorry you're going thru this. My husband has been with me thru thick and thin and I thought about him when I read your post. We that have breast cancer have to go thru the physical pain, treatments and suffering, but our loved ones also go thru suffering and loss. I'm sure you were strong when you had to be strong but now you need to be strengthened. Hopefully you can find help and support from your family, friends and others and please come here often and let us comfort you too. What you are feeling is normal after such a painful loss. All I can tell you is that the edges around the hole in your heart will smooth out after time but the hole will always be there. May you find comfort and strength during this sadly difficult time.
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #27
    I am so sorry for your loss
    I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife. I can only imagine your pain. But you must not give up. She would never want that for you. It is hard as hell, but you have keep going and eventually you will begin to get your strength back. Not having your loved one in your life will always hurt, but she would not want you to give up on happiness. You must try and begin healing so that you can enjoy being with your family and the beauty in the world.

    We are all here for you, and if need be, ask your doctor for a feferral to a counselor. Do whatever is necessary to enjoy the rest of your life. She is watching over you. Do it for her.
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #28
    Pinkpower said:

    Im glad you found us, please
    Im glad you found us, please do not feel like you are wasting time or space. Im so sorry to hear of your pain from losing your adorable loving wife. Please feel free to rant, rave and say whatever you feel, we will listen. There may not be much we can do but we can listen and snd u prayers.

    Lupe

    I am so sorry. I hope you
    I am so sorry. I hope you can feel the outpouring of sympathy and support for you from the pink sisters here.


    Hugs, Angie
  • mollyz
    mollyz Member Posts: 756 Member
    #29
    Call on Jesus
    You have to cry out to Jesus he knows your hurting don't give up on life your wife wouldn't want you to she's just waiting on you for when it's your turn for God to call your home, but you need to start to live again but not forgetting your wife she's going to always be with you just smile and know shes watching you God gave you a sweet angel. living here on earth is just for a while for all of us this is not our permanent home she's done what were all going to do one day and that's go live with God but i know living here without your love one is hard because i had a uncle to unexpectedly fall dead in February 09 I grew up in the house with my uncle like a brother so i loved him dearly i grieved him so so bad i ended up with breast cancer yes i think me grieving him did it,I lost my faith in God because he took my uncle so i believe he allowed this to happen to me so i would trust in him and not lose my faith in him anymore well he got my attention I will never doubt God or lose my faith in him or question him,I wanted to know why he took my uncle but when all said and it was over and since then i figured it out Gods the only one that can take you off this earth he knows when we come in and how and when we go out unless we do something stupid and kill our on self and then you've took his job in your hands.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #30
    aysemari said:

    So sorry about your loss
    I know it sounds cliche but it is so true, to have love and lost than to have never
    loved is better. You found the Love of your life, how many people can say that?

    I am so sorry about your pain, a heart break is a tough thing to recover from. Since
    you can't reason with your heart. Try to pour your love into something else, maybe
    animals at a shelter or volunteer work. Don't bottle up your grief, come here and
    lean on us anytime you feel the need.

    I am probably not the best person to give advise, I have never been married and
    can't imagine spending a life time with a person, building a life, becoming a part
    of each other and suddenly that part is gone. I can only start to imagine your pain.

    wishing you strength and courage to go on.

    Ayse

    Offering my sympathy to you
    Offering my sympathy to you for your loss. Praying for you and your family.


    Lex
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #31
    Marcia527 said:

    It's always harder on the
    It's always harder on the ones left behind. Take comfort in that she is not in pain now. Hugs.

    :(
    This is so sad and I am so sorry that you lost your wife. Hoping and praying that you find comfort with your family and friends and the wonderful sisters in pink on this board.

    With my sympathy,


    Sue :(
  • tough52000
    tough52000 Member Posts: 4
    #32
    sea60 said:

    I don't have the words
    to lift the void you must feel after spending so many precious years together. All I can offer is a prayer of strength and hope for you.

    with sympathy,

    Sylvia

    Thank you
    Just wanted to say Thank you one and all for the support and the feed back. I think the worst is still to come for me. Tuesday is my birthday, and the 24th is the love of my lifes birthday and on the 26 of January willbe married for 43 HAPPY years, at least they were happy for me. I just can't stand the loneless, due to the fact in all of the 43 years, we were never apart, sure when I went to work, but that is all. I Miss her so much and it has been three months and seven days. I miss her and Love her.
  • gagee
    gagee Member Posts: 332
    #33
    so sorry to hear about your loss..
    I am so worried if I go before my husband. I thought I had to take care of him as he just couldn't do it himself. One thing the cancer showed us was how he stepped up to the plate and was and is there for me from the time I get up until I to to bed and even while asleep. We have almost 46 years and I just learned how he could do so much. We would both miss the other if that times comes. But with our faith in God I think we will be okay until we meet up again.

    Remember all the good times and that she would want you to be happy and not down. Not a lot of people make it for so many years. The ones who don't and lose one of them, well they feel the same way as they don't know the difference of 1,5,10.25 years. True love is so wonderful and just remember it and treasure the time you had.

    Big Hugs and many Prayers are coming your way...
    Diana
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398 Member
    #34
    You too are a survivor
    Welcome to this site and know you have touched us.
    If nothing else we can be here for you knowing exactly what you are feeling and going through. For that I am so sorry...
    Your wife a lucky woman having you by her side though I am sure it doesn't feel that way now. One day you too will look back and see that there was allot of good in your life even though you and your wife faced so much.
    Tara
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #35
    CypressCynthia said:

    My husband and I have been
    My husband and I have been together for 37 years. My greatest fear is not dying from this disease, but leaving him alone. And I have told him in no uncertain terms that I want him to celebrate the life that he has left.

    Please for your wife's sake, see a physician and tell him or her what you have told us. It is often hardest on a caregiver when their loved one dies because their life has been full with caring for the person. Suddenly, all of the caregiving activities end and you are left feeling empty and depressed. You have been through so much and you are grieving, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Please call your doctor--your wife would want this.

    Symptoms and Types of Depression

    Sending my sincere sympathy
    Sending my sincere sympathy to you and your family.
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #36
    CypressCynthia said:

    My husband and I have been
    My husband and I have been together for 37 years. My greatest fear is not dying from this disease, but leaving him alone. And I have told him in no uncertain terms that I want him to celebrate the life that he has left.

    Please for your wife's sake, see a physician and tell him or her what you have told us. It is often hardest on a caregiver when their loved one dies because their life has been full with caring for the person. Suddenly, all of the caregiving activities end and you are left feeling empty and depressed. You have been through so much and you are grieving, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Please call your doctor--your wife would want this.

    Symptoms and Types of Depression

    Sending my sincere sympathy
    Sending my sincere sympathy to you and your family.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #37
    tough52000 said:

    Thank you
    Just wanted to say Thank you one and all for the support and the feed back. I think the worst is still to come for me. Tuesday is my birthday, and the 24th is the love of my lifes birthday and on the 26 of January willbe married for 43 HAPPY years, at least they were happy for me. I just can't stand the loneless, due to the fact in all of the 43 years, we were never apart, sure when I went to work, but that is all. I Miss her so much and it has been three months and seven days. I miss her and Love her.

    Sending sympathy and
    Sending sympathy and hugs.


    Leeza
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #38
    sea60 said:

    I don't have the words
    to lift the void you must feel after spending so many precious years together. All I can offer is a prayer of strength and hope for you.

    with sympathy,

    Sylvia

    Very sorry
    I wish I could make you feel better. I don't know what you are going through now.


    Offering my prayers and sympathy,


    Susie
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #39
    PinkPearl said:

    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry that you have lost your dear wife. It is so hard on those left behind and you have not had enough time to truly grieve and begin to heal yet. The whole first year after someone passes is difficult. Others certainly understand that and I think it would be very natural to be thinking of her and the plans you had. We lost my sister in August and she and my brother in law were also married a lengthy time and he actually retired just one month after she passed away so his life and yours have taken major turns that were not what we planned. Their are some truly good books on grief out there if you cannot talk to someone. Never feel like you are taking up too much time and space. Your grief is real, don't bottle it up.
    Merlyn B.

    I'm so very sorry.
    Accept my
    I'm so very sorry.


    Accept my sympathy,

    Angie
  • Patiann
    Patiann Member Posts: 10
    #40
    bluwillo said:

    Putting on Social Worker hat here
    (which you'd way rather I wore than my legal hat! LOL)

    1. You are not taking up time and space. All those rumors about using too much bandwidth are just that, rumors. AT&T and Verizon will always make more bandwidth. Which is my funny way of saying "vent on!" Talk to us, tell us how you're feeling. Sometimes for me, just reading helps. I know reading here helped me come to terms with a few things.

    2. What about your family? Do they know you're feeling this way? Remind them (and don't worry about being gentle about the reminder) that you've lost your life partner. Grieving is different for everyone, and there is no set time limit for it. As for the humor in this para, today my Aunt told me that she cleaned her windows all by herself for the first time ever. They're some kind that you have to tilt out, and until last July, my uncle had always done it, and she helped. They had a rather...uh...shall we say "loud" relationship. So, today, she was so proud of herself! She said either Uncle or God helped her with the windows. I told her it was probably Uncle, and she should tell him it was the first time they'd done it together without getting into a fight! She still "feels" him around, and I tell her that's quite normal. Most times, for her, it's a comfort.

    3. If you feel yourself really feeling like you can't go on, then seek help. The coolest part about this is you don't even have to leave your house! There are crisis lines all over the country that are staffed 24-7. They are not just trained to deal with bratty kids and drug problems, they are trained to help you understand that you are not alone, you can do this, and refer you, if you want, to more professional help. Look in your phone book under counselors.

    4.DO NOT GIVE UP! Not knowing you or your wife, but knowing myself and my hubby of 34 years today, he knows that if I pass before him, he is to strive to have a normal life, and if that means lady friends (as long as they're not someone I know:) then so be it...otherwise when we meet up in the next life, I'll be greeting him with a cast-iron fry pan upside the head.

    5. You are here on earth for a reason. I hope I don't insult you by bringing faith to the discussion, but God has a purpose for you. What do you enjoy doing? Can you share that with others? Start with things you did alone, without your wife. That way, her absence won't be so glaring. At some point, you'll be able to do the things the both of you used to do...but that's down the road. Everyone has a talent, whether it be whittling (wish I could do that), teaching kids about science by making sure every experiment ends with an explosion (my grandkids say I am the best science teacher they've ever had!) or simply reading to little ones at the local library or school.

    6. Baby steps. Start small. Don't feel like you have to finish everthing you start by a certain time. Don't spread yourself too thin. Be sure to take care of yourself, eat well and get enough sleep. Don't be shy about asking your doctor for help with this.

    7. PLEASE KEEP TALKING TO US! Yes, there's been some really bad news here lately, but there's also been some great news. Oh, yeah, and if ya come back, I'll tell ya'll about my red alligator cowboy boots.

    8. Know you are among friends who care about you.

    Bluwillo, I do think I like
    Bluwillo, I do think I like you!
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #41
    sweetvickid said:

    WE are so glad you came
    WE are so glad you came to this board! You will never take up to much time or space. You are going thru a bad depression/grieving process which is totally understandable. After having your wife for 42 years it will be very hard to adjust to her not being there. I wish I knew some magic words that would make it better but I don't. But we all are here for you. Do seek help and continue to come talk to us ladies and gents on this board.

    Extending my sympathy and
    Extending my sympathy and prayers for your wife.


    Hugs, Diane

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