Lost the love of my life to Breast Cancer

sea60 said:

I don't have the words
to lift the void you must feel after spending so many precious years together. All I can offer is a prayer of strength and hope for you.

with sympathy,

Sylvia

there is pleanty of room
there is pleanty of room here for you!!! I can only imagine how hard this is for you and am so very sorry for you loss. We are all here for you and will help you however we can. Please stay strong and try to remember the good times. I am sure you wife would want you to be happy.

My husband and I have been
My husband and I have been together for 37 years. My greatest fear is not dying from this disease, but leaving him alone. And I have told him in no uncertain terms that I want him to celebrate the life that he has left.

Please for your wife's sake, see a physician and tell him or her what you have told us. It is often hardest on a caregiver when their loved one dies because their life has been full with caring for the person. Suddenly, all of the caregiving activities end and you are left feeling empty and depressed. You have been through so much and you are grieving, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Please call your doctor--your wife would want this.

Symptoms and Types of Depression

CypressCynthia said:

My husband and I have been
My husband and I have been together for 37 years. My greatest fear is not dying from this disease, but leaving him alone. And I have told him in no uncertain terms that I want him to celebrate the life that he has left.

Please for your wife's sake, see a physician and tell him or her what you have told us. It is often hardest on a caregiver when their loved one dies because their life has been full with caring for the person. Suddenly, all of the caregiving activities end and you are left feeling empty and depressed. You have been through so much and you are grieving, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Please call your doctor--your wife would want this.

Symptoms and Types of Depression

I am so sorry too to read
I am so sorry too to read this. I wish I could comfort you with words. I can say that all of the sisters here will support you and listen to you when you need to write how you feel.


Cynthia is right, take care of yourself.


Hugs, Susie

Im glad you found us, please
Im glad you found us, please do not feel like you are wasting time or space. Im so sorry to hear of your pain from losing your adorable loving wife. Please feel free to rant, rave and say whatever you feel, we will listen. There may not be much we can do but we can listen and snd u prayers.

Lupe

Putting on Social Worker hat here
(which you'd way rather I wore than my legal hat! LOL)

1. You are not taking up time and space. All those rumors about using too much bandwidth are just that, rumors. AT&T and Verizon will always make more bandwidth. Which is my funny way of saying "vent on!" Talk to us, tell us how you're feeling. Sometimes for me, just reading helps. I know reading here helped me come to terms with a few things.

2. What about your family? Do they know you're feeling this way? Remind them (and don't worry about being gentle about the reminder) that you've lost your life partner. Grieving is different for everyone, and there is no set time limit for it. As for the humor in this para, today my Aunt told me that she cleaned her windows all by herself for the first time ever. They're some kind that you have to tilt out, and until last July, my uncle had always done it, and she helped. They had a rather...uh...shall we say "loud" relationship. So, today, she was so proud of herself! She said either Uncle or God helped her with the windows. I told her it was probably Uncle, and she should tell him it was the first time they'd done it together without getting into a fight! She still "feels" him around, and I tell her that's quite normal. Most times, for her, it's a comfort.

3. If you feel yourself really feeling like you can't go on, then seek help. The coolest part about this is you don't even have to leave your house! There are crisis lines all over the country that are staffed 24-7. They are not just trained to deal with bratty kids and drug problems, they are trained to help you understand that you are not alone, you can do this, and refer you, if you want, to more professional help. Look in your phone book under counselors.

4.DO NOT GIVE UP! Not knowing you or your wife, but knowing myself and my hubby of 34 years today, he knows that if I pass before him, he is to strive to have a normal life, and if that means lady friends (as long as they're not someone I know:) then so be it...otherwise when we meet up in the next life, I'll be greeting him with a cast-iron fry pan upside the head.

5. You are here on earth for a reason. I hope I don't insult you by bringing faith to the discussion, but God has a purpose for you. What do you enjoy doing? Can you share that with others? Start with things you did alone, without your wife. That way, her absence won't be so glaring. At some point, you'll be able to do the things the both of you used to do...but that's down the road. Everyone has a talent, whether it be whittling (wish I could do that), teaching kids about science by making sure every experiment ends with an explosion (my grandkids say I am the best science teacher they've ever had!) or simply reading to little ones at the local library or school.

6. Baby steps. Start small. Don't feel like you have to finish everthing you start by a certain time. Don't spread yourself too thin. Be sure to take care of yourself, eat well and get enough sleep. Don't be shy about asking your doctor for help with this.

7. PLEASE KEEP TALKING TO US! Yes, there's been some really bad news here lately, but there's also been some great news. Oh, yeah, and if ya come back, I'll tell ya'll about my red alligator cowboy boots.

8. Know you are among friends who care about you.

WE are so glad you came
WE are so glad you came to this board! You will never take up to much time or space. You are going thru a bad depression/grieving process which is totally understandable. After having your wife for 42 years it will be very hard to adjust to her not being there. I wish I knew some magic words that would make it better but I don't. But we all are here for you. Do seek help and continue to come talk to us ladies and gents on this board.

tough,
you can post on here as often as you want for as long as you want!
I am sorry for the loss of your wife-I can't imagine what you are going through. Don't know what I would do without the love of my life..
Though you cannot see us face to face,we have a caring and warm bunch on here. No one is judgemental,and people are very understanding and wanting to help and listen.
I hope that given time,life gets a little bit easier for you.

bluwillo said:

Putting on Social Worker hat here
(which you'd way rather I wore than my legal hat! LOL)

1. You are not taking up time and space. All those rumors about using too much bandwidth are just that, rumors. AT&T and Verizon will always make more bandwidth. Which is my funny way of saying "vent on!" Talk to us, tell us how you're feeling. Sometimes for me, just reading helps. I know reading here helped me come to terms with a few things.

2. What about your family? Do they know you're feeling this way? Remind them (and don't worry about being gentle about the reminder) that you've lost your life partner. Grieving is different for everyone, and there is no set time limit for it. As for the humor in this para, today my Aunt told me that she cleaned her windows all by herself for the first time ever. They're some kind that you have to tilt out, and until last July, my uncle had always done it, and she helped. They had a rather...uh...shall we say "loud" relationship. So, today, she was so proud of herself! She said either Uncle or God helped her with the windows. I told her it was probably Uncle, and she should tell him it was the first time they'd done it together without getting into a fight! She still "feels" him around, and I tell her that's quite normal. Most times, for her, it's a comfort.

3. If you feel yourself really feeling like you can't go on, then seek help. The coolest part about this is you don't even have to leave your house! There are crisis lines all over the country that are staffed 24-7. They are not just trained to deal with bratty kids and drug problems, they are trained to help you understand that you are not alone, you can do this, and refer you, if you want, to more professional help. Look in your phone book under counselors.

4.DO NOT GIVE UP! Not knowing you or your wife, but knowing myself and my hubby of 34 years today, he knows that if I pass before him, he is to strive to have a normal life, and if that means lady friends (as long as they're not someone I know:) then so be it...otherwise when we meet up in the next life, I'll be greeting him with a cast-iron fry pan upside the head.

5. You are here on earth for a reason. I hope I don't insult you by bringing faith to the discussion, but God has a purpose for you. What do you enjoy doing? Can you share that with others? Start with things you did alone, without your wife. That way, her absence won't be so glaring. At some point, you'll be able to do the things the both of you used to do...but that's down the road. Everyone has a talent, whether it be whittling (wish I could do that), teaching kids about science by making sure every experiment ends with an explosion (my grandkids say I am the best science teacher they've ever had!) or simply reading to little ones at the local library or school.

6. Baby steps. Start small. Don't feel like you have to finish everthing you start by a certain time. Don't spread yourself too thin. Be sure to take care of yourself, eat well and get enough sleep. Don't be shy about asking your doctor for help with this.

7. PLEASE KEEP TALKING TO US! Yes, there's been some really bad news here lately, but there's also been some great news. Oh, yeah, and if ya come back, I'll tell ya'll about my red alligator cowboy boots.

8. Know you are among friends who care about you.

Great advice bluwillo!
Great advice bluwillo! Praying that they will help him at this very sad time in his life.

Welcome Tough52000 I
Welcome Tough52000 I can't imagine the pain you are feeling because I have never lost a spouse (just through divorce) but I have lost my Mom to cancer and it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but I made it through. You must be overwhelmed with many feelings and I'll keep you in my prayers. I hope you come back here for support and remember that she is with you always now. That really helped me when I lost my Mom, I know now that she is with me all the time and even though I can't see her, I know she is ok and her spirit lives on. There are many people on here who have loved and lost and may they find there way to you and give you the support you need. Hang "Tough" and keep coming back.
Big Cyber Hugs,
Kari

I Am Sorry
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot begin to imagine what that must be like. We are all hear for you whenever you need anyone to listen. I had a thought and it is just a thought.....maybe you can do those things you had planned with your wife, in honor of your wife. She won't be there by your side but I am sure she will be with you. Take care of yourself and try to eat and try to go on. You know that is whay she would want.