Really Scared - Beginning of the End?

skipper85
skipper85 Member Posts: 229
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
I'm very worried and scared. Had to make a doctor appointment for my husband today. He's very very weak (because he isn't eating) and he says he has trouble eating because his stomach gets full right away. He's extremely thin (now around 100 lbs - maybe less). He's having a lot of face pain from the shingles he had which is making things worse. I have a feeling we are going to go from the doctor's office to the hospital.

I'm afraid this is the beginning of the end. There's no way he'll start chemo on the 6th. His body won't be able to take it. The cancer has already spread a lot. The chemo would have slowed it down and maybe shrunk some tumors. It might have given him several more months. I don't think he realizes that he's dying or he's just in denial. He won't talk with me about anything.

Please say a prayer for him.

Thanks,

Skipper
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Comments

  • stevenl
    stevenl Member Posts: 587
    #2
    Prayers
    Prayers are outgoing.

    Hoping for the best,
    Steve
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #3
    Hi Skipper
    Yes get him to a doctor as soon as possible; he must eat to stay alive. Ask the doc about putting a PEG tube in to help him get the nutrition he needs. I will continue to keep you both in my prayers, God be with you.
  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
    #4
    THINKING OF YOU
    A prayer is headed your way, but please do what you can to get him admitted into the hospital. I know it sucks, but they can get him to a point where he can take his chemo. He needs his chemo.

    WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!

    Mike
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #5
    Hondo said:

    Hi Skipper
    Yes get him to a doctor as soon as possible; he must eat to stay alive. Ask the doc about putting a PEG tube in to help him get the nutrition he needs. I will continue to keep you both in my prayers, God be with you.

    No PEG Tube

    Thanks for your prayers.

    He won't agree to a PEG. I've been trying to get him to have one since the beginning (last April). He just won't do it. We have an appointment with the doctor at 4:00 p.m. I wanted to try and get something earlier but he says he doesn't want to wait for hours in the doctor's office. He's going to his PC doc. I wanted him to go to the Onc. The pain from the shingles is his main priority. I'm trying to tell him that I'm worried his heart is going to stop because of lack of nutrition that will cause an irregular heartbeat. He won't let me take his blood pressure right now. He says maybe later.

    I am worried that he won't last another week or even a few days. He seems to be getting really weak very fast. I was supposed to attend my sister's memorial service (bc) Tuesday but I cancelled my plans because I was worried about leaving my husband alone. Thank God I didn't go.

    I'm just really scared for him and for me. I don't know what to do. He won't really talk with me about it. So your prayers are welcome. Thank you.

    Skipper
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #6
    luv4lacrosse said:

    THINKING OF YOU
    A prayer is headed your way, but please do what you can to get him admitted into the hospital. I know it sucks, but they can get him to a point where he can take his chemo. He needs his chemo.

    WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!

    Mike

    Mike

    I'm working on it Mike. It's an uphill battle with him. I'm sure we'll go from the doc's office to the hospital. I wanted to go directly to the hospital but he won't go. The doc will be able to convince him to go (I hope). He's a stubborn old goat, but I'm going to do whatever I can to get him to the doc and hospital so he can get some kind of nutrition - even if it's just glucose in an IV.

    Skipper
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
    #7
    Prayers, hugs, and happy
    Prayers, hugs, and happy thoughts

    April
  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
    #8
    skipper85 said:

    Mike

    I'm working on it Mike. It's an uphill battle with him. I'm sure we'll go from the doc's office to the hospital. I wanted to go directly to the hospital but he won't go. The doc will be able to convince him to go (I hope). He's a stubborn old goat, but I'm going to do whatever I can to get him to the doc and hospital so he can get some kind of nutrition - even if it's just glucose in an IV.

    Skipper

    GOOD FOR YOU
    I know you are. It is easy for me to say from here, but that is all I can offer.

    Please keep up yor good work.

    All the Best!!

    Mike
  • BonnyKay
    BonnyKay Member Posts: 8
    #9
    My prayers are with you,
    My prayers are with you, Skipper ... I hope the doctor can convince him to get treatment. Sometimes the hospital is the best place they can be.
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #10
    Praying!
    Skipper,
    So sorry to hear that your hubby isn't doing good. It's too bad that all the chemo, etc always makes them feel so miserable, and it makes you mad that it doesn't cure! Hope you're doing okay. I know how you're feeling and hope you have someone who's there with you. Take care! Keep us posted. I'll say a prayer for him! "Carole"
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #11
    other options
    Skipper,

    Prayers are being lifted for the best possible outcome for your husband and for you.

    PEG tube would have been ideal: there are other options, though, for nutrition. There is the naso-gastric tube which can be used for feeding. Your husband is likely dehydrated and would benefit from fluids whatever else is going on. Too, pain control is likely to be easier for everyone if delivered in the hospital.

    Please know you are in our prayers during the difficult time. Let us hear from you when you can.

    Hugs.
  • adventurebob
    adventurebob Member Posts: 691
    #12
    Praying
    Lifting you both up.

    Bob
  • Glenna M
    Glenna M Member Posts: 1,576
    #13
    Prayers
    I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

    Stay strong,
    Glenna
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    #14
    Prayer for you both
    I just said a prayer for both of you Skipper. I respect his wishes, and your concerns, and wish you both grace and peace.

    Hal
  • rozaroo
    rozaroo Member Posts: 665
    #15
    Hal61 said:

    Prayer for you both
    I just said a prayer for both of you Skipper. I respect his wishes, and your concerns, and wish you both grace and peace.

    Hal

    Skipper
    I am so sorry for what you are going through. The hospital & Dr's may be the best place to
    be right now. You both must be so exhausted as we know how tiring this is. My thought's & prayer's are with you both.
  • staceya
    staceya Member Posts: 720
    #16
    rozaroo said:

    Skipper
    I am so sorry for what you are going through. The hospital & Dr's may be the best place to
    be right now. You both must be so exhausted as we know how tiring this is. My thought's & prayer's are with you both.

    You are in my prayers and my
    You are in my prayers and my thoughts.
    I hope that you did go right from the doctors office to the hospital.

    Stacey
  • miccmill
    miccmill Member Posts: 248
    #17
    staceya said:

    You are in my prayers and my
    You are in my prayers and my thoughts.
    I hope that you did go right from the doctors office to the hospital.

    Stacey

    You are in my prayers tonite
    Skipper, I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. I hope you're at the hospital and I hope he's getting some relief. I know just that alone will take a heavy load off you for a little while.
    Thinking of you.
    Lisa
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #18
    skipper85 said:

    No PEG Tube

    Thanks for your prayers.

    He won't agree to a PEG. I've been trying to get him to have one since the beginning (last April). He just won't do it. We have an appointment with the doctor at 4:00 p.m. I wanted to try and get something earlier but he says he doesn't want to wait for hours in the doctor's office. He's going to his PC doc. I wanted him to go to the Onc. The pain from the shingles is his main priority. I'm trying to tell him that I'm worried his heart is going to stop because of lack of nutrition that will cause an irregular heartbeat. He won't let me take his blood pressure right now. He says maybe later.

    I am worried that he won't last another week or even a few days. He seems to be getting really weak very fast. I was supposed to attend my sister's memorial service (bc) Tuesday but I cancelled my plans because I was worried about leaving my husband alone. Thank God I didn't go.

    I'm just really scared for him and for me. I don't know what to do. He won't really talk with me about it. So your prayers are welcome. Thank you.

    Skipper

    Hope Appointment Went Well
    Skipper,
    Hope the doc was able to get your hubby to see the reason in your suggestions. Asking for the boost he needs to get him to and through chemo on the sixth.
  • Mikki332
    Mikki332 Member Posts: 49
    #19
    Praying
    Please know that you and your husband are being lifted in prayer.......
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
    #20
    Mikki332 said:

    Praying
    Please know that you and your husband are being lifted in prayer.......

    Has he made a choice?
    If you can get him in the hospital and get IV fluids in him (along with his pain meds) he might feel better enough to want to help himself. Nutrition without the g-tube is not impossible (but the hospital folks did their best to convince us it was darn close) but it require cooperation from the patient.

    I do feel that I should point out that it is possible your husband as made a choice, however. If so, it is something he should have discussed with you, but he might be trying to spare you pain. I'd bring it up: "have you decided to skip the next chemo and stop eating to hasten the end?" That's a tough question to have to ask, but if he has made such a decision, you ought to know.

    He should also know that he will feel better if he takes better care of himself. He might want to give some support measures (like IV fluids and pain meds) a try before he makes that decision - the road always looks longer when you feel like crap.

    Sorry to bring this up and I do hope he feels better soon -
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #21
    Drag Him In....
    Sorry for the situation, and thoughts and prayers for you both....

    Now do what you have to do and drag his butt in to the hospital or at least his oncologist. Be strong and take charge...he's obviously not making the best choices right now....

    Best,
    John

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