I'm going to scream
Comments
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THANKScreampuff91344 said:Piece of Cake?
Guess that's something I have never liked.....my entire life. Cancer is in no way comparable to a piece of cake, nor will it ever be something that even resembles anything sweet. Those who have not walked the walk are quick to give their analogy of what it is like to battle against the most aggressive disease ever to face you. Like most unpleasant things that pass through our lives, ignore the ignorance, and fight like hell to beat the beast. We here on the Board certainly know that cake never tasted like chemo or a lumpectomy, and never will. Hang in there, and know we are all behind you in your journey. Now, let's all go have a bannana split....that's a true treat we could all enjoy. Hugs to you and your family. Judy
Thanks to all of you for all your advice and kind words.This site is truly a lifesaver-everyone here knows what cancer means. It's life changing and I guess unless u walk the walk.....
I know after reading all of your comments that I have a lot of extended family here on the board.
Thanks again!!!!0 -
WOWlizzie17 said:just adding this
Today, I told my neighbor while walking the dogs, "My groomer has cancer that has spread to the pancreas and..." My neighbor said, "The vet's office has a good groomer."
What the heck????????????
I guess people just don't realize everything u go through with all of this cancer stuff..They just don't think about what they are saying0 -
Hello LVGLVG said:Understand...
I understand you well. I have a majority of friends & family who truly understand the seriousness, etc. But there are those who make me scream for real! I hang up the phone and wonder... Have you heard of cancer? It's pretty scary & serious. And I can't deal with those who brush this off as though it's not much and continue to try talking to me about day to day issues in there life that, I'm sorry... But don't compare right now.
I will, with others think of you on the 4th... I had a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, with 3 Nodes removed 12/7 and as the survey itself was easier than I anticipated (pain-wise); this entire ordeal is easily overwhelming.
I was wondering if you had radiation also. The plan for me is partial breast radition which is treatment 2x a day for 6 days. Of course everything could change with surgery but that is the plan as of now. I get results of bone, CT and Pet scans next week..Never had so many tests in my life as I have this past month. Stressful!!!!!0 -
BetsyBetsy13 said:I have screamed...many times
I can feel your pain. I have screamed so many times, I have screamed myself voiceless. It will be a year in Feb. since I have had surgery and I finished radiation on May 28th. I still have pain, although it is better. It still pulls when I move my arm certain ways. Once treatment was done, well, before that, people never asked how I was, what they could do, I was on my own and have been ever since. It was definately a rude awakening. My friends disappeared, my family...well, what family?, work...that's a joke. My husband and kids were good, but now they lose patience because I should be just fine. After all, I'm done with treatment. I am so alone and lonely I just don't know what to do. I have been looking for a support gorup in my area since last Feb. and the closest one is 50 miles away. I am so sorry that you feel this way, but I definately understand.
Take care of yourself,
Betsy
Take care of yourself also.I have to say that this board is great for sounding off and expressing your feelings.0 -
OH yes i agree!!! i had a
OH yes i agree!!! i had a lumpectomy nov 27th, the lump itself was over 3.5 inches long. and i am still sore!! everyone heals a different rate and can hurt like heck. i still dont like to sleep without my bra. here are somethings i learned with my boyfriends help if you have a lot of pain after: i took a bath when i could. gravity was a killer on my breast incision so he washed me, i held the boob, he dried my chest off first so i could put the bra on right away. little by little i did more myself until i weened him off. sleeping was so hard. i slept on the opposite side that i had surgery on. put a regular bed pillow under the sore breast. put a little decorative couch pillow under the boob but on the bed pillow. my arm laying on my side hurt too, so i took a hunting hot seat and put that under my arm to stop the pressure. i learned on here, that some thoughtful, decent clinics actually have special pillows to put under your arm after surgery. bending over was hard so if i had to bend over, i held my breast so it wouldnt sag (im big chested and saggy to begin with). wish you luck with your surgery and hope you dont have as much pain as i did. some on here sail thru with little pain, sometimes some like me, have so many troubles. thank goodness i have a thoughtful partner who helped me realize that i shouldnt feel bad or whatever cuz i had a harder time. so no, my lumpectomy was not a piece of cake, i am so new to cancer but i know having cancer sucks. some days less, some days more, and on a realllly good moment, i can push it so far back in my mind in a little place that i can almost forget i have it.0 -
I understand too how youscout5000 said:None
None of the treatments for cancer are a piece of cake. I truly understand what you are going through. Hoping all will go as smoothly as possible.
Scout
I understand too how you feel, as I think every woman with breast cancer does. None of it is a piece of cake, not any of it. I hope that after screaming and hopefully finding some comfort here, you will feel better.
Hugs, Leeza0 -
perhap after reading all this...creampuff91344 said:Piece of Cake?
Guess that's something I have never liked.....my entire life. Cancer is in no way comparable to a piece of cake, nor will it ever be something that even resembles anything sweet. Those who have not walked the walk are quick to give their analogy of what it is like to battle against the most aggressive disease ever to face you. Like most unpleasant things that pass through our lives, ignore the ignorance, and fight like hell to beat the beast. We here on the Board certainly know that cake never tasted like chemo or a lumpectomy, and never will. Hang in there, and know we are all behind you in your journey. Now, let's all go have a bannana split....that's a true treat we could all enjoy. Hugs to you and your family. Judy
I will never use that expression again...Ishould say I was very happy to have such littel reaction for treatment compared to many. I am very thankful
I guess I really made wrong comment...and I have been through...so my "comment" meant I am fortunate compared to what I could have had to go through...
I just try to find something good-I have had many go get mammos since mine was found so early, so if i can save one person from having to go through some really bad times.0 -
I have been therecinnamonsmile said:OH yes i agree!!! i had a
OH yes i agree!!! i had a lumpectomy nov 27th, the lump itself was over 3.5 inches long. and i am still sore!! everyone heals a different rate and can hurt like heck. i still dont like to sleep without my bra. here are somethings i learned with my boyfriends help if you have a lot of pain after: i took a bath when i could. gravity was a killer on my breast incision so he washed me, i held the boob, he dried my chest off first so i could put the bra on right away. little by little i did more myself until i weened him off. sleeping was so hard. i slept on the opposite side that i had surgery on. put a regular bed pillow under the sore breast. put a little decorative couch pillow under the boob but on the bed pillow. my arm laying on my side hurt too, so i took a hunting hot seat and put that under my arm to stop the pressure. i learned on here, that some thoughtful, decent clinics actually have special pillows to put under your arm after surgery. bending over was hard so if i had to bend over, i held my breast so it wouldnt sag (im big chested and saggy to begin with). wish you luck with your surgery and hope you dont have as much pain as i did. some on here sail thru with little pain, sometimes some like me, have so many troubles. thank goodness i have a thoughtful partner who helped me realize that i shouldnt feel bad or whatever cuz i had a harder time. so no, my lumpectomy was not a piece of cake, i am so new to cancer but i know having cancer sucks. some days less, some days more, and on a realllly good moment, i can push it so far back in my mind in a little place that i can almost forget i have it.
still going for reg mammos , d & c from cancer med side effects...I too am fortunate to have spouse of 25 yr with me..through all this...my mom died just prior so she never knew
A co worker and I went through all this within couple weeks of each other..
I mentioned to my duaghter how mis-shaped I am now..(small breasted and all) she said MOM that is battle scar you won...not a bad thing..
smart girl...0 -
If you are on Herceptin the
If you are on Herceptin the so called WONDER DRUG, for breast cancer, ask your doctor and do a lot of research before starting this chemo treatment. It is not the WONDER DRUG as they make it out to be. After a few years of completing this therapy, Herceptin can affect your lungs and it is irreversible. Three years ago I was on Herceptin for a whole year. Now Herceptin made my lungs toxic and was recently diagnosed with Interstitual lung disease and pulmonary fibrosis. I had a lung biopsy and the pathology report indicated that my lungs are toxic from the Herceptin. It is a terrible disease and I probably would have chosen another form of treatment. Marcia B.0 -
Yes -sometimes people with
Yes -sometimes people with even the best intentions dont realize what stupid crap they can say. I remember telling my best friend after my appt with the surgeon to find out my biopsy results, when I told her it was cancer. We cried for a minute, and later in the conversation she said "well, I guess if you have to have cancer, breast cancer isn't a bad one to have, because it's so treatable" - in her defense her mom (my aunt) is a lung cancer survivor & neither of us knew much about breast cancer in the beginning. But STILL!
I get irked now because since im done with treatment (other than 5 yrs of Tamoxifen) and surgeries that I'm supposed to jump right back to being my "normal" me, and I'm supposed to be happy that I'm cancer free. Of course I'm happy about that - but the happiness isn't quite enough to cancel out the fear that's constantly lurking in the back of my mind.
I'm glad we have this place where we can talk with others who understand exactly what the others are feeling
*hugs sisters*
Heather0 -
did your jaw droppedlizzie17 said:just adding this
Today, I told my neighbor while walking the dogs, "My groomer has cancer that has spread to the pancreas and..." My neighbor said, "The vet's office has a good groomer."
What the heck????????????
mmmmmm0 -
I know exactly how you feel.disneyfan2008 said:I have been there
still going for reg mammos , d & c from cancer med side effects...I too am fortunate to have spouse of 25 yr with me..through all this...my mom died just prior so she never knew
A co worker and I went through all this within couple weeks of each other..
I mentioned to my duaghter how mis-shaped I am now..(small breasted and all) she said MOM that is battle scar you won...not a bad thing..
smart girl...
I know exactly how you feel. It is like when your surgery is over and the radiation treatments and everyone thinks you should just go back to the "old" you. Just isn't going to happen.0 -
I agree
BC diagnosis has forever changed our lives! Chemo was obviously much worse for me than the lumpectomies (I had 2 for clear margins). Yes the surgery was not "a piece of cake" but I always say it could be worse. Praying for a quick recovery for you after your surgery next week.
All the best.
hugs,
chris.0 -
This is an extended familypbrndm5 said:THANKS
Thanks to all of you for all your advice and kind words.This site is truly a lifesaver-everyone here knows what cancer means. It's life changing and I guess unless u walk the walk.....
I know after reading all of your comments that I have a lot of extended family here on the board.
Thanks again!!!!
This is an extended family on here and I am so happy that what was written by the other sisters in pink helped you.
Happy Holidays to you!0 -
I would like to slap anyonecinnamonsmile said:OH yes i agree!!! i had a
OH yes i agree!!! i had a lumpectomy nov 27th, the lump itself was over 3.5 inches long. and i am still sore!! everyone heals a different rate and can hurt like heck. i still dont like to sleep without my bra. here are somethings i learned with my boyfriends help if you have a lot of pain after: i took a bath when i could. gravity was a killer on my breast incision so he washed me, i held the boob, he dried my chest off first so i could put the bra on right away. little by little i did more myself until i weened him off. sleeping was so hard. i slept on the opposite side that i had surgery on. put a regular bed pillow under the sore breast. put a little decorative couch pillow under the boob but on the bed pillow. my arm laying on my side hurt too, so i took a hunting hot seat and put that under my arm to stop the pressure. i learned on here, that some thoughtful, decent clinics actually have special pillows to put under your arm after surgery. bending over was hard so if i had to bend over, i held my breast so it wouldnt sag (im big chested and saggy to begin with). wish you luck with your surgery and hope you dont have as much pain as i did. some on here sail thru with little pain, sometimes some like me, have so many troubles. thank goodness i have a thoughtful partner who helped me realize that i shouldnt feel bad or whatever cuz i had a harder time. so no, my lumpectomy was not a piece of cake, i am so new to cancer but i know having cancer sucks. some days less, some days more, and on a realllly good moment, i can push it so far back in my mind in a little place that i can almost forget i have it.
I would like to slap anyone that says anything related to bc is a piece of cake. There most certainly is nothing easy about it. I just assume they are ignorant if they use a comment like that. Just focus on yourself and fighting the beast. That is what is important.
Hugs, Lex0 -
A piece of cake???
A piece of cake??? Surgery???? I don't think that whoever has said that to you "gets it" ... but I do know that we all do. There is absolutely nothing about our journeys that is a piece of cake... I probably would respond ... "yes, a piece of cake doused in tabacco sause... let's see you eat a piece!"
As for our own sisters & brothers comments I am sure if it is or was a piece of cake for them, they speak only of their own experiences... That I have no issue with... I am so happy for them that they have had something in this journey that wasn't terrible for them... some things are easier for some that are more difficult than for others.
As for poeple who have never ventured on this journey who make the comment, they just don't get it... I pray that they will never have to... there ignorance is infuriating at times I know... I'm so glad and thankful for this site, because I know my sisters (and brothers) in pink "get it".
Hugs,
~T0 -
That's Why Us Sisters Are Here!
Go ahead...you can scream and vent all you want here!! People mean well, but unless you've gone through it you just haven't a clue of the impact it has both physically and emotionally!
Just be kind to yourself. And if you can, try to find a local support group where you live. It really does help. And of course...this board is always here:)
Blessings,
Sally0 -
Yep, people can be insensitive
After my diagnosis, I admit, I spent a good deal of time in tears, crying at the littlest thing. Well, one day my co-worker/supervisor told me "suck it up" and to be "grateful that breast cancer was so curable". I was dumbfounded...curable? I hope so. But it taught me to try my best to put on a "happy face" at work and keep my feelings to myself. I honestly don't think she was trying to be mean, her sister has an auto-immune disease that is incurable, but it still hurt.
I have to choose carefully as to what I say to people and I am learning to ignore the stupid remarks people say when they don't know what else to say.
My 2 lumpectomies, were not a piece of cake, but I made it through with less trauma than I expected. The chemo is not fun, but I am doing it and only have 1 more treatment (of 6). I'm sure that I'll make it thorough the 33 rads also...one day at a time.
I am so looking forward to a time when breast cancer will not be my entire focus as it is now and I know that day will come sooner rather than later no matter what people say to me.
Good luck, scream all you want and know that they just will never understand unless they have the "cancer" experience that we've all gone through.
Hugs,
JoAnn0 -
Here is a "best friends" perspective.......
40 year old female, single mom of three teen girls. Stage IV, Grade 3, recurred after no sign of cancer for 9 months. 20% growth of existing cancer and three new spots of growth after three month check with PET scan.
I read these posts and feel as if I have become a "nothing" to my best friend. No one knows what a person goes through when they have breast cancer. Funny thing is, I have found myself to be dumbfounded, confused, hurt, angry, anxiety to the point of feeling like I am having a heart attack, oh yeah, and did I mention ANGRY!
I can't think of one thing I can do for her. At the age of 40, a single mom she is to three beautiful girls. We have been friends for 23 years and I don't know what to do for her?
I feel guilty, feeling pain from heartbreak at the thought of losing someone I have so many precious memories with because I couldn't possibly feel as much pain as her. I can no longer talk to her about my trivial issues at blending a family because they are no where near as big as what she is going through. I can't talk to her about how I feel because it is nothing compared to how she is feeling. I can't tell her what the fear does to me when I think about losing her. When I think about her girls.....
I am not with her daily so I don't know what is chemo brain (what was), shear fear or time to be concerned about this cancer growing in yet another new spot.
What am I supposed to be now? This cancer took from me the ability to laugh with her about the things we used to laugh about because those things are being stripped from her, and me. There is no more of her and I growing old together being the "single,fun, hot mamas" in the rocking chair on the front porch anymore. There is no going out to eat and cocktails anymore, both will make her feel like she just fed the "beast".......how can I contribute to what ails her?
All anyone , including myself can think of is try to keep things normal. How do you keep things normal when normal doesn't exist anymore. How can I feel like a best friend when that has been completely redefined for me with no instruction booklet?
What about that? Who am I supposed to be to her now without offending or hurting her or assisting her to feel that she is killing herself or jealous, envious,or angry that I still have my health. I stand a chance at seeing my daughter graduate high school...why do I feel I have to demise my own life to make her feel better?
Who am I supposed to be now?
Let me add....not only do I not know what to be for her.....but I have lost her before cancer took her. She was/is something to me too....in the midst of all my tragedy/drama in my life, this , this is the friend I ran too, we helped raise eachothers kids when our husbands decided they didnt want to anymore. We went back to school to better ourselves, helping eachother every step of the way.....and now. I don't know where to "run" anymore. Nothing in my life is big enough to compare to what she is going through....but I am going through something too....I just can't run to her anymore. Is it even fair to say....I am lost?0
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