I'm going to scream

pbrndm5
pbrndm5 Member Posts: 83
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I'm going to scream if one more person tells me surgery is a "piece of cake." I'm scheduled for a lumpectomy on Jan. 4 with radiation afterwards. I don't think anyone realizes that maybe the surgery itself is a piece of cake, but it's everything else that goes with it that stinks. People just don't understand that this cancer thing has changed my life forever!

Anyone else feel this way?
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Comments

  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #2
    I have screamed...many times
    I can feel your pain. I have screamed so many times, I have screamed myself voiceless. It will be a year in Feb. since I have had surgery and I finished radiation on May 28th. I still have pain, although it is better. It still pulls when I move my arm certain ways. Once treatment was done, well, before that, people never asked how I was, what they could do, I was on my own and have been ever since. It was definately a rude awakening. My friends disappeared, my family...well, what family?, work...that's a joke. My husband and kids were good, but now they lose patience because I should be just fine. After all, I'm done with treatment. I am so alone and lonely I just don't know what to do. I have been looking for a support gorup in my area since last Feb. and the closest one is 50 miles away. I am so sorry that you feel this way, but I definately understand.

    Take care of yourself,
    Betsy
  • Grandma X 6
    Grandma X 6 Member Posts: 135
    #3
    We do realize
    It changes all of our life's forever,and yes there is a lot more that goes with it but you have to take it one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time.I also had a lumpectomy chemo and radiation and a year of herceptin (an IV drug every 3 weeks for Her2 POSITIVE CANCER) I am now dancing with NED and you will get there too. I was also very scared but hang there no it is not fun but very do able.My Prays will be with you. The surgery was easier than I thought it would be. Keep us posted. I hope this will help you. Good Luck we will all be with you on the 4 of Jan.no one is alone. Cindy
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #4
    BC is never a piece of cake
    BC is never a piece of cake or a walk in the park. People who have never gone through this will never know. Yes, it changes our lives forever. I hope your surgery goes well for you. I had a bilateral masectomy and chemo, it was very scary but very doable, all the tests before were scary, waiting for tests results was horrible. It is not easy to go through this so if someone makes light of what you have to endure tell them to take a hike. That's putting it mildly. I'm out of treatment now and I'm feeling very good,starting to do the things I was doing before I got sick. Time may soften our scars. Good luck with your surgery.
    Hugs
    Annette
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #5
    just adding this
    Today, I told my neighbor while walking the dogs, "My groomer has cancer that has spread to the pancreas and..." My neighbor said, "The vet's office has a good groomer."
    What the heck????????????
  • gagee
    gagee Member Posts: 332
    #6
    It's funny (not funny ha ha)
    It's funny (not funny ha ha) how people who have never had cancer feel or say it isn't that bad. My daughters (2) said their friends or co-workers did just fine. Well we are not all the same. Thank God for my husband. It has been just the two of us and we will be fine. I hope your family realizes how much you need them. I got so lonely and scared with no one to talk to until I found this site. I go into the chat room also. There are a lot of super fine people here and they all can relate one way or another. The first person I met was a care giver and it was a man. He helped me so much. Then from there it was everyone I had contact with. I had a lumpectomy on Aug. 2 and finished radiation Nov. 9th. The drug they put me on doesn't like me. Had to stop it about 3 weeks ago. Way to many side effects. It was Arimidex. My friend is on it and has been for over a year and not one side effect. Just never know. We are all different.

    Please don't worry you will be fine. God will be with you. I will say extra prayers for you on that day. If you ever want to talk contact me and I am always here. I am not the best writer but will try to help any way I can.

    Hugs to You,
    Diana
  • LVG
    LVG Member Posts: 128
    #7
    Understand...
    I understand you well. I have a majority of friends & family who truly understand the seriousness, etc. But there are those who make me scream for real! I hang up the phone and wonder... Have you heard of cancer? It's pretty scary & serious. And I can't deal with those who brush this off as though it's not much and continue to try talking to me about day to day issues in there life that, I'm sorry... But don't compare right now.

    I will, with others think of you on the 4th... I had a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, with 3 Nodes removed 12/7 and as the survey itself was easier than I anticipated (pain-wise); this entire ordeal is easily overwhelming.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #8
    LVG said:

    Understand...
    I understand you well. I have a majority of friends & family who truly understand the seriousness, etc. But there are those who make me scream for real! I hang up the phone and wonder... Have you heard of cancer? It's pretty scary & serious. And I can't deal with those who brush this off as though it's not much and continue to try talking to me about day to day issues in there life that, I'm sorry... But don't compare right now.

    I will, with others think of you on the 4th... I had a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, with 3 Nodes removed 12/7 and as the survey itself was easier than I anticipated (pain-wise); this entire ordeal is easily overwhelming.

    Please scream at them if you want to scream
    Scream at them it is very therapeutic and you will feel better, no doubts.
  • amoccia53160
    amoccia53160 Member Posts: 10
    #9
    Scream away!!
    As a sister BC survivor who had a lumpectomy x2 for clear margins I can tell you that it is not that bad.........I won't use the "cake" word:) The drain was the most difficult part for the axillary node removal which I needed. I didn't have to take one pain pill when I came home from the hospital. As a matter of fact the pills were over a year old and I just got rid of them this week.....never even opened the bottle. Good luck! xxoo Annette
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #10
    Go ahead - scream!
    NO surgery is a "piece of cake"!!! Some are minor, some are major. But, ALL are invasive to the body.

    I choose to believe that most folks have good intentions. However, they often speak without thinking. Which results in ignorant and rude comments.

    So, go ahead - scream! You'll feel better. Then, try to learn to ignore the ignorant & rude, in order to protect yourself. Or, try a snappy comeback. For example: "Really? A 'piece of cake'? Would you like to have the surgery FOR me? AND the radiation treatments afterwards?" Admittedly, I wasn't always good at this; but, now I am. It's just another survival technique.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #11
    sorry...
    I had lump. surgery almost 3 yrs ago...not near as bad as I expected..I must say...and then i had 8 wks daily radiation-my radiation went very well, no burning, dry skin etc..hardly can tell...I know I am very lucky..but there are some cases much easier then others..I hope yours goes smoothly and treatment goes OK...

    I am just so happy I went faithfully for yearly mammo and caught mine early! good luck
  • pattimc
    pattimc Member Posts: 431
    #12
    Christmas Girl said:

    Go ahead - scream!
    NO surgery is a "piece of cake"!!! Some are minor, some are major. But, ALL are invasive to the body.

    I choose to believe that most folks have good intentions. However, they often speak without thinking. Which results in ignorant and rude comments.

    So, go ahead - scream! You'll feel better. Then, try to learn to ignore the ignorant & rude, in order to protect yourself. Or, try a snappy comeback. For example: "Really? A 'piece of cake'? Would you like to have the surgery FOR me? AND the radiation treatments afterwards?" Admittedly, I wasn't always good at this; but, now I am. It's just another survival technique.

    Kind regards, Susan

    I have a "friend"
    That every time she asks how I'm doing and I tell her..oh, aches and pains, headaches, whatever she inevitably says, "well, my MIL didn't have that" or "Cindy didn't have that" almost discounting my feelings. I'm sure she's not doing intentionally but it sure get's old.

    Good luck on your surgery....no surgery is easy!!

    Best to you in 2011.

    Patti
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #13
    I have said that about my surgery
    When speaking to a therapist she said what? new therapist...i was telling her about my cancer etc..
    I said well compared to most mine was a PEICE OF CAKE...she said No , it never is..

    but I felt after sitting in cancer ctr & seeing how much worse it could be I thought mine was...(i was being serious) I would never tell anyone else it is...just I try to find good and i found it could be so much worse..

    I really think writing in journals really helped..I dint 'think so at the time..but now i look back and it was a big help!
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #14
    Betsy13 said:

    I have screamed...many times
    I can feel your pain. I have screamed so many times, I have screamed myself voiceless. It will be a year in Feb. since I have had surgery and I finished radiation on May 28th. I still have pain, although it is better. It still pulls when I move my arm certain ways. Once treatment was done, well, before that, people never asked how I was, what they could do, I was on my own and have been ever since. It was definately a rude awakening. My friends disappeared, my family...well, what family?, work...that's a joke. My husband and kids were good, but now they lose patience because I should be just fine. After all, I'm done with treatment. I am so alone and lonely I just don't know what to do. I have been looking for a support gorup in my area since last Feb. and the closest one is 50 miles away. I am so sorry that you feel this way, but I definately understand.

    Take care of yourself,
    Betsy

    Nothing with breast cancer
    Nothing with breast cancer is a piece of cake. I scream every time I see someone write that about radiation treatments.


    Sending you a hug,

    Kylez
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #15
    Let's see...Do "they" really
    Let's see...Do "they" really mean we are getting a piece of cake when they say we have a lot on our plates???!! I wish I had known that~ it all would have tasted so much better! I am not afraid of cake~ I could have saved myself so much stress and anxiety if I had only known! Dang!

    Even that "walk in the park" that it also isn't? Last time I walked in the park I stepped in dog-doo, and twisted my ankle in a gopher hole!

    There is something really wrong with this whole analogy thing! LOL

    So, scream away dear sister! And when you are once again taking that post scream deep breath, come on in here with us~ we may remind each other that this is indeed do-able, but I don't think any of us will say any part of it is fun!! Or easy.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #16
    chenheart said:

    Let's see...Do "they" really
    Let's see...Do "they" really mean we are getting a piece of cake when they say we have a lot on our plates???!! I wish I had known that~ it all would have tasted so much better! I am not afraid of cake~ I could have saved myself so much stress and anxiety if I had only known! Dang!

    Even that "walk in the park" that it also isn't? Last time I walked in the park I stepped in dog-doo, and twisted my ankle in a gopher hole!

    There is something really wrong with this whole analogy thing! LOL

    So, scream away dear sister! And when you are once again taking that post scream deep breath, come on in here with us~ we may remind each other that this is indeed do-able, but I don't think any of us will say any part of it is fun!! Or easy.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Screaming is required!
    If someone hasn't been in our shoes, they truly have no idea what the stress, the fear, the treatments, the original diagnosis, everything that goes with bc feels like. And, I pray they never do.

    If someone says something like that, I just ignore them, or, come back and say " How do you know?" That usually stops them in their tracks.

    If you want to scream, you scream. If writing here helps you, then please do it. Your sisters in pink here do " get it ".

    I want to wish you good luck with your surgery. And, to wish you a happy holiday also.


    Sue :)
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #17
    Kylez said:

    Nothing with breast cancer
    Nothing with breast cancer is a piece of cake. I scream every time I see someone write that about radiation treatments.


    Sending you a hug,

    Kylez

    sorry...I have said that about radiation (for myself)
    not meaning to say not serious..but I was very very lucky , no burning, no drying, cracking etc..NO side effects at all..not tired of fatigue. I just look at it (for me...) it could have been or be so much worse!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #18
    I must say on the flip side
    I was at my gyno last week-office staff setting up my D &C (due to tamoxifen) asked about my cancer. I said just radiation...she said OH just radiation..good...

    then she back tracked and said not that it is not serious with only radiation-she felt bad...
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    #19
    disneyfan2008 said:

    I must say on the flip side
    I was at my gyno last week-office staff setting up my D &C (due to tamoxifen) asked about my cancer. I said just radiation...she said OH just radiation..good...

    then she back tracked and said not that it is not serious with only radiation-she felt bad...

    I just came out of over a
    I just came out of over a year's worth of surgery, chemo and radiation, and none of it was a "piece of cake". I had so many infections, illnesses, horrible burns, too much medications, I didn't scream but I sure didn't know if I was going to make it. Funny part, only my closest family and friends know what I went thru and most of them think its all over with now. Those not so close say "you sure did well", "has it really been a year", "you really breezed thru it", etc. I think people mean well and good, but just don't understand what anyone really goes thru. And then most people think its all over with after treatment. Even tho all tests are normal and no evidence of cancer, you always have that question in the back of your mind, "Will it come back"? We do have to look forward and get thru all the treatment, look for better days and rejoice when we have them. Sometimes you just have to take it day by day, but better days will come, as many here on the board knows. Keep posting and we'll help you thru some of those dark days. Take care.
  • scout5000
    scout5000 Member Posts: 94 Member
    #20
    None
    None of the treatments for cancer are a piece of cake. I truly understand what you are going through. Hoping all will go as smoothly as possible.
    Scout
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    #21
    scout5000 said:

    None
    None of the treatments for cancer are a piece of cake. I truly understand what you are going through. Hoping all will go as smoothly as possible.
    Scout

    Piece of Cake?
    Guess that's something I have never liked.....my entire life. Cancer is in no way comparable to a piece of cake, nor will it ever be something that even resembles anything sweet. Those who have not walked the walk are quick to give their analogy of what it is like to battle against the most aggressive disease ever to face you. Like most unpleasant things that pass through our lives, ignore the ignorance, and fight like hell to beat the beast. We here on the Board certainly know that cake never tasted like chemo or a lumpectomy, and never will. Hang in there, and know we are all behind you in your journey. Now, let's all go have a bannana split....that's a true treat we could all enjoy. Hugs to you and your family. Judy

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