while I love the attention...

lizzie17
lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Does anyone ever feel that people are "extra" nice to you, or buy you a gift that in 20 years never have.........is it me, because I wonder if they do because they think I won't be here for the next birthday or holdiay, etc.

Comments

  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #2
    yup, my husband and I used
    yup, my husband and I used to joke about a certain Christmas party we were never invited to. Guess what invite we got in the mail this year? I said "see what cancer gets you?" anyway if it makes people nicer and more appreciative we deserve it. go with it girl!!!!! Of course we would trade not having this crap for people being meaner but ........
  • pbrndm5
    pbrndm5 Member Posts: 83
    #3
    Oh yeah!
    My brother and his family that I haven't seen or spoken to in years heard through the grapevine that I have breast cancer.I then received a dozen pink roses from them. I feel like you couldn't contact me or talk to me when I was healthy but now you send me flowers!@#!#!#. WHY!!!!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #4
    I am gift giver and card sender
    whether ill or not...I just think little surprises are nice... so if people being xtra nice...ENJOY...
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #5
    pbrndm5 said:

    Oh yeah!
    My brother and his family that I haven't seen or spoken to in years heard through the grapevine that I have breast cancer.I then received a dozen pink roses from them. I feel like you couldn't contact me or talk to me when I was healthy but now you send me flowers!@#!#!#. WHY!!!!

    Same here pbrndm5
    I have the exact situation as you do. I ask why also. Flowers? Now, after 5 years? Never a phone call to apologize though.
  • cavediver
    cavediver Member Posts: 607
    #6
    I notice that in stores or
    I notice that in stores or restaurants strangers are more friendly...saying hello and smiling toward me in a kind way. I think the head scarf gives me away Anyway, I think it is nice since I am assuming they are thankful for their and their loved one's good health when they see me and are reminded they are fortunate to have good health. And....being nice to someone always makes one feel good....so I am glad they can feel good.
    Happy Holidays........
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #7
    pbrndm5 said:

    Oh yeah!
    My brother and his family that I haven't seen or spoken to in years heard through the grapevine that I have breast cancer.I then received a dozen pink roses from them. I feel like you couldn't contact me or talk to me when I was healthy but now you send me flowers!@#!#!#. WHY!!!!

    agree flowers
    I think perhaps a thoughtful card or letter...even to break the ice...sorry things are rocky...
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    #8
    Yes, it's nice
    It is so sweet how people are in the stores, they'll show such compassion. Of course they can tell because I have the bandana on and I'm without the girls. Then they will share how cancer has touched their lives or someone close to them. It makes me feel I'm not alone.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #9
    Annette 11 said:

    Same here pbrndm5
    I have the exact situation as you do. I ask why also. Flowers? Now, after 5 years? Never a phone call to apologize though.

    I think when people know
    I think when people know that you are in the fight for you life with cancer, it makes them realize that the outcome might not be good and they want to show you they care. I think it also wakes them up a little to how fragile life is and that you need to show the ones you love and care about, just that. Show them you care. I personally like it!


    Leeza
  • kjrpcb
    kjrpcb Member Posts: 41
    #10
    Attention
    The one thing I have learned during the past 6 months it that there are many people,friends and strangers alike, who will take my hand and walk the journey with me. I was out shopping the other day and was getting fatigued and my feet were killing me. This total stranger gave up his chair so I could sit down. In a strange way cancer has made me a better person. I am more aware of and more concerned with others and I really want to pay the kindness that I have recived forward. There will be other pink sisters just starting their journey who will need a hand and I intend to take their hand and walk the journey with them. So yes, people are being extra nice and I like it!
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #11
    kjrpcb said:

    Attention
    The one thing I have learned during the past 6 months it that there are many people,friends and strangers alike, who will take my hand and walk the journey with me. I was out shopping the other day and was getting fatigued and my feet were killing me. This total stranger gave up his chair so I could sit down. In a strange way cancer has made me a better person. I am more aware of and more concerned with others and I really want to pay the kindness that I have recived forward. There will be other pink sisters just starting their journey who will need a hand and I intend to take their hand and walk the journey with them. So yes, people are being extra nice and I like it!

    it is nice
    and the reality is I guess....It just makes all of us appreciate life more and the little things that maybe had been overlooked. SO....I think I should be gracious, appreciative, and not concentrate about their possible motivation. :)
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #12
    lizzie17 said:

    it is nice
    and the reality is I guess....It just makes all of us appreciate life more and the little things that maybe had been overlooked. SO....I think I should be gracious, appreciative, and not concentrate about their possible motivation. :)

    Hey I'll take niceness
    Hey I'll take niceness wherever I can.

    And I have been known to use the "cancer card" from time to time. Right after I was diagnosed with mets, I told my sisters that they needed to have our annual sisters' reunion in New Orleans because I wasn't going to the West Coast that year.

    I love California, but my little sister (who lives in California) never wanted to travel anywhere because she was afraid of flying. Her doctor gave her ativan and they all came and we had a great time. And now she says she is coming back next year!
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #13
    lizzie17 said:

    it is nice
    and the reality is I guess....It just makes all of us appreciate life more and the little things that maybe had been overlooked. SO....I think I should be gracious, appreciative, and not concentrate about their possible motivation. :)

    To me, there's a big difference between...
    ...1) friends/family who've blown me off for years suddenly "remembering" me when they hear I have/had cancer, and 2) casual acquaintances or strangers who just wanted to do something nice for me.

    #1 always pissed me off. #2, I always tried to be appreciative of, because people feel so helpless in the face of cancer, and often genuinely want to do a little something to help in some way, even if it's just offering their seat or being extra nice in the checkout line.

    Traci
  • pbrndm5
    pbrndm5 Member Posts: 83
    #14
    Annette 11 said:

    Same here pbrndm5
    I have the exact situation as you do. I ask why also. Flowers? Now, after 5 years? Never a phone call to apologize though.

    I know Annette
    Really? It would be nice to apologize. Don't contact me out of pity--
  • pbrndm5
    pbrndm5 Member Posts: 83
    #15
    TraciInLA said:

    To me, there's a big difference between...
    ...1) friends/family who've blown me off for years suddenly "remembering" me when they hear I have/had cancer, and 2) casual acquaintances or strangers who just wanted to do something nice for me.

    #1 always pissed me off. #2, I always tried to be appreciative of, because people feel so helpless in the face of cancer, and often genuinely want to do a little something to help in some way, even if it's just offering their seat or being extra nice in the checkout line.

    Traci

    I agree Tracy
    People who have blown me off for years piss me off too. On the other hand having strangers or acquaintances wanting to help in some small way,is nice.

    I do have to admit though that I use the cancer card sometimes with family and friends

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