celebrating two years NED

Today I am celebrating my second anniversary of NED. I was diagnosed Nov 3, 2008 at age 49 with Stage II TN3, had surgery on the 16th and Ileo Ostomy takedown in June 2009. Did 2 rounds of Folfox, could not tolerate the oxaliplatin, did 6 rounds of Folfiri, and elected not to do any radiation. My hair is back if full glory with curls galore (I had waves before but now more like Shirley Temple) my energy is back but the memory is still spotty.
I am grateful to have been put in such excellent care by my surgeon and onc doc. I had expectations of being almost giddy today but instead all I want to do is cry! I probably have posted twice and most often just lurk. I can't come on very often because I feel such sadness with the precious ones who have passed on and my emotions still run very close to the surface. Most seem to "have it together" and have so much more to deal with than I did/do and I marvel at your strength and courage and your humor. I am trying to be brave for those who are near the end and I wonder how I will deal with it. I had much laughter (and still do)when I was in the center of the treatment from friends and family and that kept me going along with my faith. I know just one moment at a time and I will get there. So thank you all for posting about your daily struggles, your trimuphs and courages acts. I include you in my prayers. Shanna