Bada Bing... too funny!

aysemari
aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
The economy is now so bad that:


I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by
the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide
Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

Comments

  • beetle25
    beetle25 Member Posts: 150 Member
    #2
    Way to funny thank you I
    Way to funny thank you I really needed a good laugh while I was at work
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #3
    Ha-Ha-Ha!!
    Thanks for the funnies, Ayse. Some of these will definately have you laughing out loud!!
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #4
    Last 2 Jokes
    Last 2 jokes made me laugh out loud.
    Hugs,
    Janelle
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #5
    Different Ballgame said:

    Last 2 Jokes
    Last 2 jokes made me laugh out loud.
    Hugs,
    Janelle

    That was freaking hilarious

    That was freaking hilarious
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #6
    ms.sunshine said:

    That was freaking hilarious

    That was freaking hilarious

    I agree with with ms.sunshine .. this is ... freaking
    hilarious!


    Thanks for sharing, and putting a smile on my face this morning - boy, did I need it!


    •☆.•*´¨`*••♥ Vicki Sam ♥••*´¨`*•.☆•
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #7
    :-) :-) :-) Thanks so much
    :-) :-) :-) Thanks so much for this, pretty lady! A much needed lift!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #8
    chenheart said:

    :-) :-) :-) Thanks so much
    :-) :-) :-) Thanks so much for this, pretty lady! A much needed lift!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Thanks
    Thanks--needed a laugh.
    Margo
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #9
    tommaseena said:

    Thanks
    Thanks--needed a laugh.
    Margo

    That's so funny, thanks!
    Loved this.
    Suzanne
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #10
    Double Whammy said:

    That's so funny, thanks!
    Loved this.
    Suzanne

    Thanks for the laugh today.

    Thanks for the laugh today.
  • ccincin
    ccincin Member Posts: 82
    #11
    oh my gosh
    That was too funny!!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #12
    chuckle
    too funny

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