99.5 Rocks!

Hondo said:

Hi Sweet


I talked to Chef Daddy Mike last night and he has gained 15lbs, his body is really doing a turnaround

Hondo
That's awesome to hear about Mike. I called him last week and it just rang, no voice mail. Will try again this week. I know when last we spoke he was working some. That's really good news. Thanks for letting me know.

dennis318 said:

it goes threw stages
I can eat this for a week or so and lose total happines for it, and have to find something else. The hardest part for me is still the personal demon i carry, i can be fine, and have not a worry, and suddenly deflate and not want to continue, this makes me feel like total crap, is it a mood swing, cancer thing, mid life crisis, why does this happen. the chili thing, with the mustard and cheese is wierd, I can taste everything plus there hotdogs, but it has to come from the sonics...lol, no onions please, and I only have a half of burper, because of my paraylzed larnyx, today is a good day Sweet, but why does the switch flick on and off mentally??

Yeah, sometimes I can eat
Yeah, sometimes I can eat something one day, and not the next. I used to love chili and chilidogs but too spicy and salty right now.

I don't know why the switch gets triggered. Sometimes it's easy to say why you are having a good day or bad day. Ex: pain, not swallowing = bad day. Eating, and less pain = good day. Somedays it's not that easy. It's hard when people say, "You should be happy, you are still alive. " but maybe they don't understand what it's like to go through. I mean when you think about it, we've all really been through traumatic stuff. We get cut open, disfigured, told we have something that can kill us. Then they "treat" you by cooking you, and or putting poison chemicals in you. And for me, that is just what happened to me in the last couple years. Never mind the stuff I've lived thru before this (like others too have had) cheating spouse, divorce, death of sibling, death of young family members, losing everything in a fire, I could go on, but won't. Sometimes things can wear you down. Sometimes it gets overwhelming and sometimes I think we need to cut ourselves some slack. I think it can be hard because we also worry if we have beaten this monster everyday. I always try to remember when I get into my dunks, there is always someone who is in more pain, has had more loss, and Is fighting more demons. I try and count my blessings every day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I pray everyday. I have had an anxiety disorder and have suffered thru depression for years. This ordeal required an adjustment to my lexapro which when I finally was prescribed that back in 2006 was a literal life saver fo me.

Dennis, I don't have all the answers, and I wish I did. I don't even have solutions. I just know I get up each day, and plug away, greatful for the support of many friends, and hopeful that each day I can do at least one positive thing for someone else. Sometimes when we focus on what we can give to others we get more in return than focusing on what we can do for ourselves.

So now that I've babbled on, I decided I need some ice cream.
Hang in there Dennis. We will get through. Day by day through good and bad days. I figure He must have some thing more in store for us since we are all still here and kickin'.

Hugs to all,

Sweet