Sister Only Has One or Two Days To Live

skipper85
skipper85 Member Posts: 229
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My sister called me today. That's not unusual except for the fact that she is losing her battle with bc and has been given only about one or two days left to live. She is on a light morphine drip at her request so that she would be able to communicate with everyone as long as possible. I was so happy to hear her voice even though I had to do most of the talking. She is a fierce warrior who has fought this beast for over 16 years. She says she is not afraid anymore. I'm grateful for that. She lives in another state and I haven't been able to see her because I am caring for my husband with lung cancer. We last saw each other in May. When she was leaving to go home I called her back from the car to give her another hug and I told her again that I loved her. I just knew then that I would never see her again.

I am not writing this for sympathy for my sister or myself. I'm am writing to tell all of you with bc to keep fighting. Don't give up. With God's help maybe they will find a cure for this horrible disease.

Although I have not posted much on this board I have been reading the posts of others on this forum and on the caregiver forum and also the lung cancer forum. They have helped me more than I can say to deal with all the emotional ups and downs my whole family has been through. Thank you everyone for your postings on this board.

The most help I have received is from God. I put myself and my sister in his hands. Soon he will take my sister into his loving arms. I will miss her terribly but I am happy that she will no longer be confined to a bed and be in constant pain. I wish she could have lived to see her kids marry and to see her grandchildren but I'm sure she'll be watching them from above as their special guardian angel.

Please know that my heart and my prayers go out to all the cancer patients and their caregivers. Be strong and trust in God to guide you through your journey. Never give up hope.

Skipper


UPDATE:

Thank you all for your kind responses. Again I apologize if anyone was upset by my post. It certainly wasn't meant to upset anyone. In fact, it was meant to cheer on all you brave pink ladies and your support teams. My sister was able to buy 16 more years because she chose to fight. I hope to speak with her again today - not about bc but about some of the good times we've had. She's still laughing and enjoying what she can even now. She has a great sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine. You are all in my prayers.

Skipper
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Comments

  • AMomNETN
    AMomNETN Member Posts: 242
    #2
    So Sorry
    Slipper,
    I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. Your sister knows how much you love her. I will pray for all in your family. I promise I will not give up hope.

    Janie
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #3
    Skipper
    bless you as you come to peace with the inevitable. May your sister rest in peace knowing that you loved her just as much as she loved you. My heart aches for you.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #4
    Thank you Skipper
    for sharing your sentiments. You sound like you were blessed to have a close relationship with your Sister.

    How amazing God is to give you and her a peace that surpasses all human understanding.

    God be with you all,

    Sylvia
  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175 Member
    #5
    Skipper im sorry your sister
    Skipper im sorry your sister is loosing her battle with BC...my heart goes out to you and her family. I know how it is to loose someone close to you like a sister cuz i just recently lost my cusion and my aunt raised me making us more like sisters...im still devasted over it. Im just glad your coming to terms with it and just dont want her to feel the pain anymore. I continue my fight in her honor!
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #6
    I am so sorry to hear about
    I am so sorry to hear about your sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I know it is hard to be physically apart, but I know she loves you and is with you in spirit. Stay strong my friend. We are all pulling for you.
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #7
    While I am sorry for your loss
    I wish you didn't post this. If you were someone who posted regularly I'd understand.

    I don't see why you think you are encouraging anyone to keep fighting with your post.
    There's so much anxiety we have to deal with already, why add to it?

    I for one feel terrified when I read posts like this.

    Sorry if I offended you but I am just being honest.
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #8
    Prayers
    I'm sorry about your sister. That is no way to live in constant pain. I'm glad she's not scared. My aunt towards the end wasn't scared either. I hope you and ur husband are well. Must be very hard to want and need to be in 2 places at the same time.
    My prayers are with you and your family. Katz
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #9
    Skipper,
    My heart and
    Skipper,
    My heart and prayers are with you and your sister and the rest of your family.
    Stef
  • reeseslover1234
    reeseslover1234 Member Posts: 87
    #10
    Prayers for you and your sister

    Skipper, your faith has brought you this far and it will continue to sustain you through your grief. Your sister's in pink will keep you in our prayers. I am so glad your sister is at peace.

    Continued prayers for your family,

    Reese
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #11
    So sorry
    to hear this. I know what you are going through as far as not being able to see her. I had a similar experience but it was my niece instead. She will be in a place where she will not be in pain and will always know how loved she was. As long as she is in your heart you will never be apart.

    Hugs
    Georgia
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #12
    Skipper I am so sorry
    I cry for your sister, but will never give up. She is truly a warrior, one of a kind. You, your sister and your family are in my prayers.. God keep us all Kay,
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #13
    aysemari said:

    While I am sorry for your loss
    I wish you didn't post this. If you were someone who posted regularly I'd understand.

    I don't see why you think you are encouraging anyone to keep fighting with your post.
    There's so much anxiety we have to deal with already, why add to it?

    I for one feel terrified when I read posts like this.

    Sorry if I offended you but I am just being honest.

    While I am sorry for your loss
    Hello aysemari:

    I'm so sorry my post upset you. That wasn't my intention. I don't know your circumstances but the reason I encourage you to fight is that fighting bought my sister 16 years that she might not have had if she had just given up.

    I only found this board a couple weeks ago. I had been on another web site previously where I posted often.

    Anxiety is normal. If you haven't done so already perhaps you could ask your doctor to give you something to help you with it.

    I wish you the best and I'll pray for you to find peace and strength. What helped my sister most was her sense of humor and her deep faith in God.

    Again, I apologize if my post upset you.

    Skipper
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #14
    (((((((((HUGS)))))))) to
    (((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you, Skipper. Not an easy time at all...but so important that you and your sister had the time to connect and let each other know how much you love each other. Whereas the unspoken often speaks volumes, it is also priceless to take the opportunities given us to verbally our good, loving feelings as well.

    Caregivers are absolute saints in my book! I can't imagine going through this on my own. The physical/emotional support you are giving to your husband and of course to your sister is invaluable. I do hope that you will take the time needed for YOU, as well. It seems to me that caregivers are like sponges, watering those around them with soothing waters...but, if a sponge dries out it isn't very useful anymore, and can actually crumble. I hope you take time to re-hydrate yourself~get a massage, have a mani-pedi,spend a days with girlfriends, in short, rejuvenate yourself! I can see from your post that you are indeed a spiritual woman; may that faith and hope, along with some well-deserved pampering, sustain you through these difficult days.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #15
    chenheart said:

    (((((((((HUGS)))))))) to
    (((((((((HUGS)))))))) to you, Skipper. Not an easy time at all...but so important that you and your sister had the time to connect and let each other know how much you love each other. Whereas the unspoken often speaks volumes, it is also priceless to take the opportunities given us to verbally our good, loving feelings as well.

    Caregivers are absolute saints in my book! I can't imagine going through this on my own. The physical/emotional support you are giving to your husband and of course to your sister is invaluable. I do hope that you will take the time needed for YOU, as well. It seems to me that caregivers are like sponges, watering those around them with soothing waters...but, if a sponge dries out it isn't very useful anymore, and can actually crumble. I hope you take time to re-hydrate yourself~get a massage, have a mani-pedi,spend a days with girlfriends, in short, rejuvenate yourself! I can see from your post that you are indeed a spiritual woman; may that faith and hope, along with some well-deserved pampering, sustain you through these difficult days.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    So sorry
    I am so very sorry skipper. You are right that everything is in God's hands. I will most certainly pray for your sister and for you and your husband.

    It seems you have a lot that has to be dealt with. Life seems so unfair at times, but, just know that all of your sisters in pink on here are surrounding you with love and support.

    Your sister has fought a brave battle. She is a true warrior.

    I know that when you talk with your sister, you will feel so much better. Sister's are priceless and I am so lucky to have such a wonderful sister in my life too.

    Please know that I am sending you big hugs and lots of prayers.


    Hugs, Jan
  • cathyp
    cathyp Member Posts: 379 Member
    #16
    skipper85 said:

    While I am sorry for your loss
    Hello aysemari:

    I'm so sorry my post upset you. That wasn't my intention. I don't know your circumstances but the reason I encourage you to fight is that fighting bought my sister 16 years that she might not have had if she had just given up.

    I only found this board a couple weeks ago. I had been on another web site previously where I posted often.

    Anxiety is normal. If you haven't done so already perhaps you could ask your doctor to give you something to help you with it.

    I wish you the best and I'll pray for you to find peace and strength. What helped my sister most was her sense of humor and her deep faith in God.

    Again, I apologize if my post upset you.

    Skipper

    thinking of you and your family
    It brought comfort to me hearing that your sister is not afraid.

    I rarely post on this board but would hope anytime I do, it is as welcome as the regular posters. I don't think you should apologize for posting. This should be an outlet for you where so many posters share in similiar circumstances. An ear and a hug from people who truely have been in your shoes.

    Best wishes during this trying time.

    Cathy
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #17
    skipper85 said:

    While I am sorry for your loss
    Hello aysemari:

    I'm so sorry my post upset you. That wasn't my intention. I don't know your circumstances but the reason I encourage you to fight is that fighting bought my sister 16 years that she might not have had if she had just given up.

    I only found this board a couple weeks ago. I had been on another web site previously where I posted often.

    Anxiety is normal. If you haven't done so already perhaps you could ask your doctor to give you something to help you with it.

    I wish you the best and I'll pray for you to find peace and strength. What helped my sister most was her sense of humor and her deep faith in God.

    Again, I apologize if my post upset you.

    Skipper

    No Skipper
    actually..... I apologize, I was upset that day because a woman from a support group,
    I sometimes attend died that day. She was diagnosed last year, same time as me. She
    was a little older than me. But it turned out that she had the gene and it had already
    spread in her ovaries and spine. She was so bubbly and full of life... it really hurt me.

    So it really shook me... I am sorry if I let it on you. It is hard to loose someone to
    cancer, as you know. So please accept my apologies. This just hit too close to home.
    I am still learning and growing with this process.

    I have two sisters... god forbid something happened to them I would be devastated.
    It is just as hard for a caregiver to watch someone they love go through this.


    Hugs?
    Ayse
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #18
    survivorbc09 said:

    So sorry
    I am so very sorry skipper. You are right that everything is in God's hands. I will most certainly pray for your sister and for you and your husband.

    It seems you have a lot that has to be dealt with. Life seems so unfair at times, but, just know that all of your sisters in pink on here are surrounding you with love and support.

    Your sister has fought a brave battle. She is a true warrior.

    I know that when you talk with your sister, you will feel so much better. Sister's are priceless and I am so lucky to have such a wonderful sister in my life too.

    Please know that I am sending you big hugs and lots of prayers.


    Hugs, Jan

    Sending prayers and lots of
    Sending prayers and lots of love to you and your family!


    Hugs, Megan
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #19
    ladyg said:

    So sorry
    to hear this. I know what you are going through as far as not being able to see her. I had a similar experience but it was my niece instead. She will be in a place where she will not be in pain and will always know how loved she was. As long as she is in your heart you will never be apart.

    Hugs
    Georgia

    I am so sorry about your
    I am so sorry about your sister. I can't imagine going through this with my sister.

    I am sending hugs and prayers to you and her.
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #20
    Megan M said:

    Sending prayers and lots of
    Sending prayers and lots of love to you and your family!


    Hugs, Megan

    So sorry Skipper. Thanks for
    So sorry Skipper. Thanks for reminding us to fight.
    God Bless,
    Wanda
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    #21
    aysemari said:

    No Skipper
    actually..... I apologize, I was upset that day because a woman from a support group,
    I sometimes attend died that day. She was diagnosed last year, same time as me. She
    was a little older than me. But it turned out that she had the gene and it had already
    spread in her ovaries and spine. She was so bubbly and full of life... it really hurt me.

    So it really shook me... I am sorry if I let it on you. It is hard to loose someone to
    cancer, as you know. So please accept my apologies. This just hit too close to home.
    I am still learning and growing with this process.

    I have two sisters... god forbid something happened to them I would be devastated.
    It is just as hard for a caregiver to watch someone they love go through this.


    Hugs?
    Ayse

    No Skipper

    Ayse:

    Double Hugs Back!! You must be so upset. I had sensed something was wrong but I wasn't sure if you were angry about having bc or if you were just having a bad day. Now I know. No worries. I'm so sorry you lost your friend. You, however, are still here and need to go on. There is so much research being done. There's constantly news about new ways to fight this disease. You fight the fight and don't give up. I'm sure your friend would have told you the same thing. Don't know if you are a religious person but I will pray for you. Prayer does help and it also gives me comfort. We caregivers are tough. It makes us feel better to be able to help any way we can.

    Keep me posted on how you are doing.

    More HUGS!!!

    Skipper

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