pieces
The glue that binds us will hold us together , piece by piece day by day we are each our own person yet connected in so many ways .Sometimes So alone but surround by so many people.
Comments
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the quilt
Did you know you are a poet, Zinniemay?
You have used your words to put together the many pieces of the quilt we are all living right here on this website.
Thank you. It feels good to be part of a quilt.0 -
Strangers, but connected
You are so right, we have so many friends on here even though we've never met. But we all are or have been in the same situation of either having cancer or going through it with a loved one, or having lost our husbands. We all understand but so many people if they've never had to deal with this don't know how we feel. Be strong! "Carole"0 -
Exactly
Exactly0 -
Nicely Put
Very nicely put. I think we humans tend to spend way to much time thinking about how we are different instead of how much we are alike. Here on these boards we tend to look past the differences and share our common lot. Fay0 -
Thanksgrandmafay said:Nicely Put
Very nicely put. I think we humans tend to spend way to much time thinking about how we are different instead of how much we are alike. Here on these boards we tend to look past the differences and share our common lot. Fay
Today is a bad day, The doctor called just said the tumnors did not shrink but did not grow. So I think I need my quilt to keep me warm. Make this empty fear go away.The tears are flowing .0 -
Not bad!zinniemay said:Thanks
Today is a bad day, The doctor called just said the tumnors did not shrink but did not grow. So I think I need my quilt to keep me warm. Make this empty fear go away.The tears are flowing .
Zinnie! The tumors did not shrink but they did not grow! It means they are not gaining ground. And maybe they won't grow any more!
Gentle hugs to you because I know you wanted them to at least shrink and, if possible, to be gone. Me, too.0 -
PositiveNoellesmom said:Not bad!
Zinnie! The tumors did not shrink but they did not grow! It means they are not gaining ground. And maybe they won't grow any more!
Gentle hugs to you because I know you wanted them to at least shrink and, if possible, to be gone. Me, too.
I am trying to stay positive but the tears keep coming. I know I have to think this is good news and that things will be ok. We were so hoping I guess all of us know . Thank you I can use all the hugs I can get.0 -
You just needzinniemay said:Positive
I am trying to stay positive but the tears keep coming. I know I have to think this is good news and that things will be ok. We were so hoping I guess all of us know . Thank you I can use all the hugs I can get.
You just need a little while to catch your breath, Zinniemay. Both of you do.
You will get there. I know you will.0 -
momentNoellesmom said:You just need
You just need a little while to catch your breath, Zinniemay. Both of you do.
You will get there. I know you will.
I am trying to see the good that it did not grow. But you know some of the hard part is no ones knows the feeling running thru us the fear the emptiness the pain except the ones walking in our shoes.
Thank you so much , I really thank you0 -
Neutral Newszinniemay said:Thanks
Today is a bad day, The doctor called just said the tumnors did not shrink but did not grow. So I think I need my quilt to keep me warm. Make this empty fear go away.The tears are flowing .
Actually, I guess I would consider this neutral news. Of course you were hoping that the tumors had shrunk. So any news short of that seems like bad news. On the roller coaster ride you are on right now instead of an up this seems like a down. It really isn't. Instead it is a steady as you go. It may mean that the doctors need to consider additional or alternate treatments. At the worst it means that you are buying time to consider possible changes in treatment. At the best it means that the cancer is controlled for now. Since we knew that my husband was just buying time we considered these times of no change as positive. You are in my prayers. Just get out that pot of glue and add this story to your quilt. And hey, I am a strong advocate of tears. Just like laughter,they help us cope. Fay0 -
tearsgrandmafay said:Neutral News
Actually, I guess I would consider this neutral news. Of course you were hoping that the tumors had shrunk. So any news short of that seems like bad news. On the roller coaster ride you are on right now instead of an up this seems like a down. It really isn't. Instead it is a steady as you go. It may mean that the doctors need to consider additional or alternate treatments. At the worst it means that you are buying time to consider possible changes in treatment. At the best it means that the cancer is controlled for now. Since we knew that my husband was just buying time we considered these times of no change as positive. You are in my prayers. Just get out that pot of glue and add this story to your quilt. And hey, I am a strong advocate of tears. Just like laughter,they help us cope. Fay
I agree, Fay. With our quilt, tears are like fabric softener.
Corny, but true
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Got my backgrandmafay said:Neutral News
Actually, I guess I would consider this neutral news. Of course you were hoping that the tumors had shrunk. So any news short of that seems like bad news. On the roller coaster ride you are on right now instead of an up this seems like a down. It really isn't. Instead it is a steady as you go. It may mean that the doctors need to consider additional or alternate treatments. At the worst it means that you are buying time to consider possible changes in treatment. At the best it means that the cancer is controlled for now. Since we knew that my husband was just buying time we considered these times of no change as positive. You are in my prayers. Just get out that pot of glue and add this story to your quilt. And hey, I am a strong advocate of tears. Just like laughter,they help us cope. Fay
Thank you both for having my back guess you will be the linning of my quilt! The pieces so fragile . I think about the old quilt I have in my closest. My great aunt made it she died almost 70 years ago, it is called Jacobs ladder the triangle peices are half inch , two make the square in the middle is a square 2x2 inches. Around it is the little triangles, it was only a quilt top my mother did not have much money she took my blanket and made a padding and took old flour sacks to finish the quilt. She told me about the pieces , how some were my daddy's shirts and Granny's old dress, and people and friends whose clothes had worn out they would give my great aunt the pieces , So it took many people and allot of work but the quilt it beautful , old falling apart but still so much left .
I am a positive person and my husband he is not so what I see as good news he sees as bad. So it is a give and take thing.
Thank you for the help mentally I am falling apart trying to hold it together , Guess I better look for my glue!0 -
Learning To Live Day To Day
Zinniemay,
You are indeed a poet. My husband has melanoma stage 3c and he is teaching me to live one at a time. This has been a difficult journey for both of us but our glue is called "love". I will look for more of your messages...
Deb0 -
Think Positive!zinniemay said:Got my back
Thank you both for having my back guess you will be the linning of my quilt! The pieces so fragile . I think about the old quilt I have in my closest. My great aunt made it she died almost 70 years ago, it is called Jacobs ladder the triangle peices are half inch , two make the square in the middle is a square 2x2 inches. Around it is the little triangles, it was only a quilt top my mother did not have much money she took my blanket and made a padding and took old flour sacks to finish the quilt. She told me about the pieces , how some were my daddy's shirts and Granny's old dress, and people and friends whose clothes had worn out they would give my great aunt the pieces , So it took many people and allot of work but the quilt it beautful , old falling apart but still so much left .
I am a positive person and my husband he is not so what I see as good news he sees as bad. So it is a give and take thing.
Thank you for the help mentally I am falling apart trying to hold it together , Guess I better look for my glue!
ZinnieMay,
You have to think positive! If your tumors didn't grow, it's cause your treatment is helping, so don't be sad. I'm only a "caregiver", but can realize what you're going through. Even though my hubby didn't last long, we worried every time he had a scan. So take one day at a time & be happy each morning you wake up!!! We're all here for you. "Carole"0 -
Againlovingwifedeb said:Learning To Live Day To Day
Zinniemay,
You are indeed a poet. My husband has melanoma stage 3c and he is teaching me to live one at a time. This has been a difficult journey for both of us but our glue is called "love". I will look for more of your messages...
Deb
Thank you all that read my post , I am not a writter or have a grasp of our lanuage when it comes to spelling, I was so bad at it and stuggle with simple words. So I find this hard but it is my way of venting.
I am the caregiver to my husband but he gives me more care than I can him. I know that we have lived a simple life, we dont drank and we don't go to Church to important outlets for manking friends. So We are alone in this world with our two adult children . We are trying to find out lets and trust me not easy.
Neither one of us have great health I am disabled from a birth defect and diabetes, So it is hard for us to reach out to people. So this is my out let. We did manage to go to a Gilda Club meeting tonight and we enjoyed it very much.
I thank you all so much for your thoughts prayers and wishes .
Jennie0 -
Gilda Clubzinniemay said:Again
Thank you all that read my post , I am not a writter or have a grasp of our lanuage when it comes to spelling, I was so bad at it and stuggle with simple words. So I find this hard but it is my way of venting.
I am the caregiver to my husband but he gives me more care than I can him. I know that we have lived a simple life, we dont drank and we don't go to Church to important outlets for manking friends. So We are alone in this world with our two adult children . We are trying to find out lets and trust me not easy.
Neither one of us have great health I am disabled from a birth defect and diabetes, So it is hard for us to reach out to people. So this is my out let. We did manage to go to a Gilda Club meeting tonight and we enjoyed it very much.
I thank you all so much for your thoughts prayers and wishes .
Jennie
Jennie,
I am so glad you went to the Gilda Club meeting - I understand they are wonderful.
I'm also glad you have this place as an outlet - there are many good people here, aren't there?
I can feel how much you want your husband to survive this cancer and how worried you are about this not being the reality of your future.
You may or may not think so, but you are a strong person with a talent for self-expression and sharing. Your words are a gift.
As to church: you have mentioned this several times in your posts. Please try to find one in your area and attend a service. They can be wonderful support for you during trying times. I am not promoting any particular denomination but the United Methodist Church has something called the Stephen Ministry, in which specially trained church members go to the people in the community when there is illness and do what they can to help. I'm sure other denominations have much the same groups if you ask.
Please know you are in my prayers and thoughts.
Hugs.0 -
ChurchNoellesmom said:Gilda Club
Jennie,
I am so glad you went to the Gilda Club meeting - I understand they are wonderful.
I'm also glad you have this place as an outlet - there are many good people here, aren't there?
I can feel how much you want your husband to survive this cancer and how worried you are about this not being the reality of your future.
You may or may not think so, but you are a strong person with a talent for self-expression and sharing. Your words are a gift.
As to church: you have mentioned this several times in your posts. Please try to find one in your area and attend a service. They can be wonderful support for you during trying times. I am not promoting any particular denomination but the United Methodist Church has something called the Stephen Ministry, in which specially trained church members go to the people in the community when there is illness and do what they can to help. I'm sure other denominations have much the same groups if you ask.
Please know you are in my prayers and thoughts.
Hugs.
I come from a God of God the old ones where woman's hair was long and her dresses longer, my husband come from Catholic back round. I find the Catholic Church easier. But not one in our town. There is a Methodist Church in town , We know all the people that attend . When Greg first got cancer I told a lady . It is now all over town but not one of these poeple have called or stopped by.Many of the people we knew for 20-30 years their children when to school with ours. We stopped one day at a "Sale: and the ladies we knew, Greg said to one You know I have cancer she said they talk or pray at Church for you .
My husband and I are not out going , we use to try , we helped built a palace in the park for children knowing ours was to old to play there, we worked their Christams things at school to raise money. We did 4-h for 6 years as leaders. The Band boosters we ran the Football stand for the school. Everyone pretty much knows us. But we did not make friends. So there is our problem ! In small towns it is harder that citys. They know the rich for the poor they ones you need to be around to gain Our neighbos know but not one have stopped over we have known the for 31 years. We are just different .Those things never change.0 -
sometimeszinniemay said:Church
I come from a God of God the old ones where woman's hair was long and her dresses longer, my husband come from Catholic back round. I find the Catholic Church easier. But not one in our town. There is a Methodist Church in town , We know all the people that attend . When Greg first got cancer I told a lady . It is now all over town but not one of these poeple have called or stopped by.Many of the people we knew for 20-30 years their children when to school with ours. We stopped one day at a "Sale: and the ladies we knew, Greg said to one You know I have cancer she said they talk or pray at Church for you .
My husband and I are not out going , we use to try , we helped built a palace in the park for children knowing ours was to old to play there, we worked their Christams things at school to raise money. We did 4-h for 6 years as leaders. The Band boosters we ran the Football stand for the school. Everyone pretty much knows us. But we did not make friends. So there is our problem ! In small towns it is harder that citys. They know the rich for the poor they ones you need to be around to gain Our neighbos know but not one have stopped over we have known the for 31 years. We are just different .Those things never change.
I think sometimes churches hold back in communicating with people who don't go to service because they think that if you wanted contact, you would come to church looking for it. They may be trying to respect your privacy. Sometimes people do that too much, even in churches. Churches get weary of being told they are pushy.
Please try again. Go to a service and just absorb what goes on there, even if no one speaks to you. Let the hymns and prayers fill up any empty places you may have. I would hope someone would speak to you and make you feel welcome - at our church you would probably think we were trying to adopt you! There is usually at least one person in a church who wants to reach out.
It sounds as though you and Greg have been supporters of the community. I want to believe there is a way your community can support the two of you during this difficult time.
As for your neighbors: shame on them, Jennie. I know you would reach out to them if they needed you. And, you know what? They really do need you right now, with your generosity and giving spirit - they just don't know it.
Maybe you and Greg should bake a loaf of bread and take it to them - might soften their spirits and give them an opening to be there for you.0 -
I thinkNoellesmom said:sometimes
I think sometimes churches hold back in communicating with people who don't go to service because they think that if you wanted contact, you would come to church looking for it. They may be trying to respect your privacy. Sometimes people do that too much, even in churches. Churches get weary of being told they are pushy.
Please try again. Go to a service and just absorb what goes on there, even if no one speaks to you. Let the hymns and prayers fill up any empty places you may have. I would hope someone would speak to you and make you feel welcome - at our church you would probably think we were trying to adopt you! There is usually at least one person in a church who wants to reach out.
It sounds as though you and Greg have been supporters of the community. I want to believe there is a way your community can support the two of you during this difficult time.
As for your neighbors: shame on them, Jennie. I know you would reach out to them if they needed you. And, you know what? They really do need you right now, with your generosity and giving spirit - they just don't know it.
Maybe you and Greg should bake a loaf of bread and take it to them - might soften their spirits and give them an opening to be there for you.
I personally think it is Greg and I we do not really know how to relate to people. I don't really blame them . I just don't understand people. We are a odd couple .We just are not very good in social things. If it is work we know how to do that. Trust me we do get calls for that. If someone needs something fixed . As friends we do that. So we assume they are friends but does not work that way. we end us feeling needed. So we just gave up.
I am sure you are right about the church but I would not feel comfortable there. I will figure out something.0 -
Hugszinniemay said:I think
I personally think it is Greg and I we do not really know how to relate to people. I don't really blame them . I just don't understand people. We are a odd couple .We just are not very good in social things. If it is work we know how to do that. Trust me we do get calls for that. If someone needs something fixed . As friends we do that. So we assume they are friends but does not work that way. we end us feeling needed. So we just gave up.
I am sure you are right about the church but I would not feel comfortable there. I will figure out something.
Just hugs this time.0
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