Frustration/Depressed

OK girls here is my private delima. I read all your post and can't get over just how much most of you have gone through and still going through. I know I missed the bullet, having had a lumpectomy, 4 chemos, 30 rads and moving on with my life. BUT, that's the biggest word in the english language, I am unable to deal with having my left breast smaller and firmer due to BC and my right breast going through life changes ie: sagging, larger, etc. Bra's don't fit, shirts don't hang right, looking in mirror is depressing. I ended up yelling at my husband over the new bra not fitting right just to get him to understand. I told him I wanted to see about a breast reduction and fix the hole. His first comment was "How much is this going to cost?" Then he came back with why don't you call the insurance co and see if this all is covered after he realized I am really unhappy, and this is all over a period of 8 years of dealing with BC. The usual hidden fear of BC rearing it's ugly head again and when if ever. I thought I could deal with the difference, move on though life, and just wait and see if the BC does come back before I made the decision for a breast reduction and repair. I think I have hit the wall and need to do what I need. I have spent the last 25 years or so taking care of my husband and his medical needs first and putting myself second. I went through the BC like it wasn't happening just to get him though the whole thing. He took it all so hard, was so afraid he would loose me, I had to be stronger. Is it time for me? Oh, and to top it all off. Medical professionals are at least 75 miles away, he doesn't and can't drive to provide the assistance I will probably need. That is probably the number one reason I put me off.

Maybe I just need to vent and a sympathetic ear or two.