Frustration/Depressed

Scotch Freckles

OK girls here is my private delima. I read all your post and can't get over just how much most of you have gone through and still going through. I know I missed the bullet, having had a lumpectomy, 4 chemos, 30 rads and moving on with my life. BUT, that's the biggest word in the english language, I am unable to deal with having my left breast smaller and firmer due to BC and my right breast going through life changes ie: sagging, larger, etc. Bra's don't fit, shirts don't hang right, looking in mirror is depressing. I ended up yelling at my husband over the new bra not fitting right just to get him to understand. I told him I wanted to see about a breast reduction and fix the hole. His first comment was "How much is this going to cost?" Then he came back with why don't you call the insurance co and see if this all is covered after he realized I am really unhappy, and this is all over a period of 8 years of dealing with BC. The usual hidden fear of BC rearing it's ugly head again and when if ever. I thought I could deal with the difference, move on though life, and just wait and see if the BC does come back before I made the decision for a breast reduction and repair. I think I have hit the wall and need to do what I need. I have spent the last 25 years or so taking care of my husband and his medical needs first and putting myself second. I went through the BC like it wasn't happening just to get him though the whole thing. He took it all so hard, was so afraid he would loose me, I had to be stronger. Is it time for me? Oh, and to top it all off. Medical professionals are at least 75 miles away, he doesn't and can't drive to provide the assistance I will probably need. That is probably the number one reason I put me off.

Maybe I just need to vent and a sympathetic ear or two.

shy violet

dear scotch...lumpectomy or
dear scotch...lumpectomy or masectomy doesn't matter we are all still in the club...I had rad masect but did not do reconstruct...so I feel your pain when the clothes go up or down or sideways and expose the zone...It would definitely be worthwhile to check about insurance but maybe others with experience will know if there are ways to get it approved...I haven't come up with any fashion tricks yet...tried the non prosthesis lightweight padding but it just tilted up to my neck...

you should always come here...someone will be here to help or listen...but you should be able to feel good about yourself and not come in second place...some of the cancer organizations may have funding or volunteers to help with transportation...love, shy

heidijez

i can't relate to your lumpectomy. . .
since i am having a bilateral mastectomy this wednesday, but i do understand the frustration and depression. i have gotten through almost eight months of chemo (out of the past nine and a half months) - tried to minimize what i was going through so an not to scare my mom - did too good a job, because i get no support from my family and they think it was a breeze for me. what i am especially grateful for is the lovely women (and few gentlemen) on this website that are here to listen, to soothe, so support, and to love us even when we are at our crankiest.

i wish we lived closer to each other - i would certainly be willing to drive you. i hope that knowing there are lots of us out here who care about you will help in some small way.

sending you positive thoughts and lots of hugs, Heidi

Marcia527

I had a modified radical
I had a modified radical mastectomy with no reconstruction so I know what you mean.

If you want reconstruction find out how much it will cost and how much the insurance will cover and find friends or someone to drive and help you. You could call the ACS to see if they have volunteers to help also. If you really want to do it...go for it.

PinkWillow

I know how you feel. I had
I know how you feel. I had similar treatment as you and feel very fortunate it wasn't worse than it was. BUT. I get frustrated at the non-fitting bra and age sags. To top it off - I am not married or even dating and feel like I never will at this point. What single guy looks twice at an aging sagging misshaped woman?? It is troubling even though I know it is emotional and not logical. Well, Scotch Freckles, we are survivors and will be alive and whole in spirit and we still have so much left in us. What the heck that we are not perfect?? We are still fun! Vent all you want - it makes me feel better just to know there are people who feel the same!

roseann4

PinkWillow said:

I know how you feel. I had
I know how you feel. I had similar treatment as you and feel very fortunate it wasn't worse than it was. BUT. I get frustrated at the non-fitting bra and age sags. To top it off - I am not married or even dating and feel like I never will at this point. What single guy looks twice at an aging sagging misshaped woman?? It is troubling even though I know it is emotional and not logical. Well, Scotch Freckles, we are survivors and will be alive and whole in spirit and we still have so much left in us. What the heck that we are not perfect?? We are still fun! Vent all you want - it makes me feel better just to know there are people who feel the same!

I'm in the same boat but am not concerned with the size differen
However, my surgeon told me that my insurance would cover reconstruction to lift my other breast. Check it out with your surgeon.

Roseann

carkris

roseann4 said:

I'm in the same boat but am not concerned with the size differen
However, my surgeon told me that my insurance would cover reconstruction to lift my other breast. Check it out with your surgeon.

Roseann

I felt that way when i was a
I felt that way when i was a uniboober as i had one very large breast and no other one. It was hard to match and I just wore loose clothing. i wonder if this was why I gained weight. ?? anyway now I am bilateral I do feel bad as necklines and armholes are tough. ONe thing I do know is you should not put yourself aside, if it bothers you enough do it. I bet insurance would cover it. I dont think you live near me but if you do I will help.

Scotch Freckles

Encourgement
Thank you all for your input. I have been encourgage and am greatful I had someone to discuss my private delima with. I will be contacting my insurance co tomorrow. I keep having the emotional fear I have waited too long. But checking could only answer question of uncertainty. Kathryn