extreme mother-daughter bonding....
*hugs*
Heather
Comments
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Wow Heather!
I am so sorry your Mother has also been diagnosed. Yes, that must have been so surreal for you both! Gosh, who knows why the heck so many are being diagnosed. It just makes me so mad!
You and your Mom sound like incredibly, wonderful strong women who are close, and this experience together, will certainly bring you closer.
You both are in my prayers. May your healing come soon for you both!
Hugs,
Sylvia0 -
So sorry to hear this. Isea60 said:Wow Heather!
I am so sorry your Mother has also been diagnosed. Yes, that must have been so surreal for you both! Gosh, who knows why the heck so many are being diagnosed. It just makes me so mad!
You and your Mom sound like incredibly, wonderful strong women who are close, and this experience together, will certainly bring you closer.
You both are in my prayers. May your healing come soon for you both!
Hugs,
Sylvia
So sorry to hear this. I know you will be a great source of strength for her. I cannot even imagine how you felt at the Dr. office. My prayers are with you both God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice0 -
So sorry about your mom'sBoppy_of_6 said:So sorry to hear this. I
So sorry to hear this. I know you will be a great source of strength for her. I cannot even imagine how you felt at the Dr. office. My prayers are with you both God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice
So sorry about your mom's diagnosis but she will have you to help her through each phase of her journey. You can gather strength from each other and know that each of you will understand what the other is going through. My prayers for you both.
Stef0 -
I am sorry to hear your Mom
I am sorry to hear your Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. It does sound so surreal to have been diagnosed within two months of one another by the same doctor. I am glad you have each other during this time.
God bless.
BL0 -
Gosh, Heather! I am so sorry
Gosh, Heather! I am so sorry that your Mom is now one of us, though of course she will be welcomed with great warmth, love, and open arms! (Just LOVE this site!) But, like you said, at least she can lean on you since you've gone through it before her. Honestly, I believe everything that happens does so for a reason. I believe that the many painful crises I endured before my dx helped to prepare me for it. I've learned through my past struggles (with losing both parents, my sister to lung cancer, and my mother-in-law to brain cancer) have helped me to recognize how strong I actually am so that this diagnosis has not left me feeling terrified and helpless. I am fierce!
I know you're strong, too, and that your mother must be a wonderful person to have led you to be the person you are.
You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings,
Jenn0 -
HeatherMarcia527 said:So sorry to hear this. I
So sorry to hear this. I hope your mom has an easy time with treatment. Hugs to both of you.
I am very sorry about your Mom. It probably still feels like a nightmare. Wishing your mom and you easy time with treatment, minimal side effects, and quick recovery.
Hugs,
New Flower0 -
Best wishes to your momNew Flower said:Heather
I am very sorry about your Mom. It probably still feels like a nightmare. Wishing your mom and you easy time with treatment, minimal side effects, and quick recovery.
Hugs,
New Flower
and of course, to you too, as you go along your course...but maybe, given everything, and the way things worked out, you were meant to be her guide and safety net through this jungle. And with your great attitude, what better person could she have beside her? Hugs...0 -
Surfacesfilimu said:Best wishes to your mom
and of course, to you too, as you go along your course...but maybe, given everything, and the way things worked out, you were meant to be her guide and safety net through this jungle. And with your great attitude, what better person could she have beside her? Hugs...
That inner strength that surfaces when we're facing trying times is amazing!
Thoughts and prayers for you and now your mom too!
God bless us all. Marsha0 -
hugs and prayers
Wow, I can't imagine how sureal your day was.......like twilight zone. Your Mom must be amazing to have raised you and given you such strength. Hugs and prayers sent for both of you as you continue in this battle. Glad your Mom was diagnosed so early.......what a blessing that is. And...that she has you by her side to help guide her. Best wishes.....0 -
What to say?
Heather,
I am really sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. What to heck is going on
here? Two women in the same family diagnosed back to back?
I really hope to see progress towards a cure for cancer. There are too many
women getting diagnosed. It's scary.
You got it right Heather, this IS extreme mother daughter bonding.
Ayse0 -
Sorry
Heather,
I'm sorry to hear that about your mom but I'm sure it was better that you went through it first so she can see how you handled it. It is strange that you had it before they found it in her since most people think of bc being genetic passed down through generations (not up).
Please encourage your mom to join this forum if you think it would help her. I've found that a lot of times it is comforting just to read that there are other people going through the same dx, feelings, emotions, etc. You are a great daughter and will be a big comfort to your mom as she receives her treatment(s).
Take care and keep us posted on how she is doing.0 -
Gosh Heather I am so sorry
Gosh Heather I am so sorry to hear this about your Mom. glad you was with her. You gain strength from each other. You are both in my prayers. I hope your headache goes away when you wake up. I have migraines I know how they are. Take care Kay0 -
thank you all i posted
thank you all i posted this for somewhat selfish reasons last night, i just had to get my feelings out there & i knew i could count on you for your words of wisdom and support. Still have the headache - but of course, it's my allergy season, and i my allergies trigger sinusisis, which triggers my migraines..it's not so bad now & i took a painkiller which will hopefully kick in soon. I just can't get the idea out of my head that there has to be some sort of environmental factor in my & my mom's diagnosis...maybe something where we lived? For us to both get breast cancer within 2 months of each other..i just can't wrap my mind around it. And I feel so bad for my dad..My diagnosis was devastating for him, i was very much a daddy's girl growing up, and as a young adult, dad & i were partners in crime -we'd shoot pool together, listen to live blues bands in local dive bars, have some beers. He still refers to me as his little girl, and every morning he drops off the newspaper for me (i dont subscribe but he works for our local paper, so he gets them for me & leaves them on my porch because he knows i like to read the paper with my coffee in the morning) and a few times a week he'll get be some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies & leave those for me too. My mom has severe arthritis & i can't remember the medical name but degenerated disks in her back - she's disabled from it & in varying degrees of pain most days, and dad takes care of her. Now, add breast cancer to mom's already crappy amount of pain she endures daily, and to dad's stress & worries about the 2 women he loves most in the world. It just stinks. Not to mention the fact that I have two young beautiful daughters of my own. My 9 year old, who is very wise beyond her years, is putting two and two together and asking about her future possililiby of getting breast cancer and I can't even begin to think about my girls dealing with this. Last week a woman from the local ACS came by to drop off some materials about an upcoming breast cancer walk that i'm getting a team together for. I told her if they need a "local loudmouth" to speak, at functions, to send to congress, or whatever, that I'll be their girl. I have alot of experience with fundraising & health related non-profits, for 4 years (until I took maternity leave with the baby) I worked for our local Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, as an event assistant, which is really a glorified secretary, but we put on the JDRF walk every fall in 2 cities, we held various fund raising events, just my boss & I - so I know the ins & outs of non-profits, fund raising, event planning, advocating - you name it. I just know that this is what I HAVE to do - somehow get involved, raise money, change laws, change doctor's ways of thinking that we dont have to worry about our breast health until we hit the magic age of 40, and get all women more aware of taking charge of their health & knowing what to look for, not accepting any doctor's "wait and see" approach to lumps...
phew here i am going off on a rant now. Bottom line is, I just can't sit and do nothing beyond taking care of myself and my mom. I have experience & ideas that I can share and really help out.
And on a lighter note, last night my husband told me i have a pretty head. lol. He said "it's not lumpy or anything"....i still don't like it
thank you all again for your support, i draw strength from it every day
*hugs*
heather0 -
Heather .. You are truly my HERO, and to be ableJean 0609 said:Sorry about your Mama Heather
Sending prayers your way. Your Mom is so lucky to have you. You are a strong woman and I'm hoping everything will be okay. Give your girls a hug for me. Jean
to stand there and hold your Mother as she was given the news that she too has breast cancer, is indeed surreal. Your dear mother is probably in shocked and disbelief. You being the Pink WARRIOR - gained strength and insight - into a new fold of fund raising - I truly am in awe.
Keep your parents close, and I know without a doubt you will be there every step of the way for mom guiding her - providing research, love and support. Please do I thing for me Miss Heatherbelle - my PINK sister Warrior. When you can -- go down to one of those dive bars - catch a band or football game (yes,you can sip on 1 beer, or ginger ale) with Dad - let him know that his little angel (that's you), and the love of his life (mom) are strong WARRIOR women who love and adore him and plan to be around for a very long time .. he may need some reassurance. Create a familiar normal stage for him, so he can continue to support his Queen and Princess during their journey's.
Your 9 year daughter sounds like a very wise little girl. She knows more than we as mothers think. Try and keep her routine, school activies as normal as humanly possible. She is watching you, taking all that happens with you in. I asked my daughter, Alexandra if she wanted to accompany me to several doctors visits after I had a plan of treatment etc .. she did once, and that was enough - she is more of a caretaker. She would never listen or read the phamplets I brought home regarding 'self examines' breast .. so I made an appointment with my GYNO PA - who laid Ally on that lovely narrow table .. and proceeding to guide her thru self examination -- 17 years old .. Every month since this horrifing experience (Ally's words), Ally examines her breast -- for me.
My dad died about 14 years ago, my sister Anne and I have taken on the role of parent, as our Mother has never been too strong emotional and physically - being married for 25 years to an abusive alcholic -. Even as teenagers, I would jump on my dad's back trying to get him off my mom - he will hit and beat her at nights. So ..... Mom finally left dad, after we girls moved out to start our lives. My mom knows very little about my fight with my breast cancer, my black and dark times, and my extreme chronic fatigue. My mom is daughter-like and when I try and convey my feelings or sadness - all I get is .. just let it go, Vicki and pray to God.
Your journey will have its up and downs - but family support and love will get your thru it all!
Hugs and Prayers:
Vicki Sam0 -
I am so sorry to hear aboutVickiSam said:Heather .. You are truly my HERO, and to be able
to stand there and hold your Mother as she was given the news that she too has breast cancer, is indeed surreal. Your dear mother is probably in shocked and disbelief. You being the Pink WARRIOR - gained strength and insight - into a new fold of fund raising - I truly am in awe.
Keep your parents close, and I know without a doubt you will be there every step of the way for mom guiding her - providing research, love and support. Please do I thing for me Miss Heatherbelle - my PINK sister Warrior. When you can -- go down to one of those dive bars - catch a band or football game (yes,you can sip on 1 beer, or ginger ale) with Dad - let him know that his little angel (that's you), and the love of his life (mom) are strong WARRIOR women who love and adore him and plan to be around for a very long time .. he may need some reassurance. Create a familiar normal stage for him, so he can continue to support his Queen and Princess during their journey's.
Your 9 year daughter sounds like a very wise little girl. She knows more than we as mothers think. Try and keep her routine, school activies as normal as humanly possible. She is watching you, taking all that happens with you in. I asked my daughter, Alexandra if she wanted to accompany me to several doctors visits after I had a plan of treatment etc .. she did once, and that was enough - she is more of a caretaker. She would never listen or read the phamplets I brought home regarding 'self examines' breast .. so I made an appointment with my GYNO PA - who laid Ally on that lovely narrow table .. and proceeding to guide her thru self examination -- 17 years old .. Every month since this horrifing experience (Ally's words), Ally examines her breast -- for me.
My dad died about 14 years ago, my sister Anne and I have taken on the role of parent, as our Mother has never been too strong emotional and physically - being married for 25 years to an abusive alcholic -. Even as teenagers, I would jump on my dad's back trying to get him off my mom - he will hit and beat her at nights. So ..... Mom finally left dad, after we girls moved out to start our lives. My mom knows very little about my fight with my breast cancer, my black and dark times, and my extreme chronic fatigue. My mom is daughter-like and when I try and convey my feelings or sadness - all I get is .. just let it go, Vicki and pray to God.
Your journey will have its up and downs - but family support and love will get your thru it all!
Hugs and Prayers:
Vicki Sam
I am so sorry to hear about your mom, that is unbelievable. Now, she has you for support. This must be so hard for her also, i am sure she wants to be there for you. Take care, and hope your mom joins us0 -
Heather,Heatherbelle said:thank you all
i posted
thank you all i posted this for somewhat selfish reasons last night, i just had to get my feelings out there & i knew i could count on you for your words of wisdom and support. Still have the headache - but of course, it's my allergy season, and i my allergies trigger sinusisis, which triggers my migraines..it's not so bad now & i took a painkiller which will hopefully kick in soon. I just can't get the idea out of my head that there has to be some sort of environmental factor in my & my mom's diagnosis...maybe something where we lived? For us to both get breast cancer within 2 months of each other..i just can't wrap my mind around it. And I feel so bad for my dad..My diagnosis was devastating for him, i was very much a daddy's girl growing up, and as a young adult, dad & i were partners in crime -we'd shoot pool together, listen to live blues bands in local dive bars, have some beers. He still refers to me as his little girl, and every morning he drops off the newspaper for me (i dont subscribe but he works for our local paper, so he gets them for me & leaves them on my porch because he knows i like to read the paper with my coffee in the morning) and a few times a week he'll get be some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies & leave those for me too. My mom has severe arthritis & i can't remember the medical name but degenerated disks in her back - she's disabled from it & in varying degrees of pain most days, and dad takes care of her. Now, add breast cancer to mom's already crappy amount of pain she endures daily, and to dad's stress & worries about the 2 women he loves most in the world. It just stinks. Not to mention the fact that I have two young beautiful daughters of my own. My 9 year old, who is very wise beyond her years, is putting two and two together and asking about her future possililiby of getting breast cancer and I can't even begin to think about my girls dealing with this. Last week a woman from the local ACS came by to drop off some materials about an upcoming breast cancer walk that i'm getting a team together for. I told her if they need a "local loudmouth" to speak, at functions, to send to congress, or whatever, that I'll be their girl. I have alot of experience with fundraising & health related non-profits, for 4 years (until I took maternity leave with the baby) I worked for our local Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, as an event assistant, which is really a glorified secretary, but we put on the JDRF walk every fall in 2 cities, we held various fund raising events, just my boss & I - so I know the ins & outs of non-profits, fund raising, event planning, advocating - you name it. I just know that this is what I HAVE to do - somehow get involved, raise money, change laws, change doctor's ways of thinking that we dont have to worry about our breast health until we hit the magic age of 40, and get all women more aware of taking charge of their health & knowing what to look for, not accepting any doctor's "wait and see" approach to lumps...
phew here i am going off on a rant now. Bottom line is, I just can't sit and do nothing beyond taking care of myself and my mom. I have experience & ideas that I can share and really help out.
And on a lighter note, last night my husband told me i have a pretty head. lol. He said "it's not lumpy or anything"....i still don't like it
thank you all again for your support, i draw strength from it every day
*hugs*
heather
Again, I am so
Heather,
Again, I am so sorry about your mom's diagnosis. My sister and I were diagnosed within months of each other. There could be genetic links that they haven't even discovered. I had some genetic testing and have Lynch Syndrome with Muir Torre. It increases the chance of several cancers, most strongly colon. Breast cancer do show up but the increase was slight. My sister has not been tested but it is possible she has this also and that might be our link. You and your mom could have a genetic link, envirommental or it could be the fickle finger of fate. Since your daughter is saavy and putting two and two together, maybe it would be good to be frank with her. That she could get breast cancer but that she has the upper hand in knowing that her mom and grandma had it and she will be vigilant and looking out for any signs, that she can get earlier mammograms and most importantly that progress is being made every day in detection and treatment and the possibility of a cure goes closer with every year. I think that you would be an ideal person to work as you put it "a local loudmouth" because the squeaky wheel does get the oil. And all your experience would be so valuable. One of my good friends started at the ACS in her hometown and she is now the director. She is outspoken, knowledgable, and had worked for other non-profits. Sounds a lot like you so I say go for it. Be strong for your mom but be sure that you save energy for your own diagnosis and treatment. Good thoughts for you both.
Stef0
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