Shaved my head tonight
My family was very supportive. My 21 month old is still a little leery of me, but my husband & daughter have both been very reassuring & telling me how nice I look. I personally think I look old and sick. But, like I keep reminding myself, I'm alive. It will grow back. I didn't even cry much, not like the floodgates I expected. Losing my breasts wasn't as hard for me as losing my hair
I think i was just so tired of leaving clumps of hair in my wake wherever I went.So I'm allowing myself a freak out night tonight, if I need it. Thanks for listening!
*hugs*
Heather
Comments
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Oh Heather
you brave girl! Your 21 month old daughter reminds me of funny story. A couple of years ago when I came home from the convalescent home with this huge sling my grandson who was 2 1/2 at the time looked at me while he slid his arm inside the strap of his overalls. Kids are sooooo cute! As long as she hears your voice she knows it's you. If my hair has not started falling out by Thursday I'm just going to have my hairdresser trim my short hair. The onco nurse said it would probably fall out by next Tuesday when I have my next chemo.
You are on a 2 week cycle, right???? Are you getting Taxotere/Cytoxan or do you get TAC????
I went for my 2nd follow up blood draw today and the onco nurse told me my zits are from the steroids. She told me about Domboro (a powder substance you mix with water to form a paste) and to put it on them. I found it at my CVS and will try tonight. My face is so much worse than it ever has been - ugly lumpy red zits (of course I attacked one).
Enjoy your new freedom from taking care of your hair. Everyone assures us that it will grow back slowly when treatment is over. {{hugs}}
Char0 -
It's only hair!!
I had my daughter shave my head last Nov. while going thru chemo. I was scared but decided that at the time it was the only thing "I" has control over. Docs were telling my "do this", "start that treatment" etc. When I was first bald I wore a hat whenever I went out, but never around the house.I finished all treatment in April 2010 and I went for my first haircut this past Sat.( mind you it's still very short, and the cut just evened everything up). You'll get used to your new "look" and so will others.When you look in the mirror, just remember "CONTROL". (((((HUGS))))) Gail0 -
Heather
If you feel like
Heather
If you feel like freaking out, you go for it. You have the right to react in whatever way you feel. This is very personal and losing hair is a visual reminder of what you are going through. In spite of several cancers I have not had chemo and I think that losing my hair would be the hardest of all and I don't even have great hair. Hell, I don't even have good hair but I have hair and losing it would freak me out. But I will say again what an adorable face you have and you will be adorable with or without hair. Your baby will get used to it before you know it. I remember when a good friend of my daughter's was pregnant. She was a month from her due date and they discovered a melanoma. They did a C section and she immediately went into treatment. A few weeks later she sent out cards with a picture of her and her son, both bald, with the caption "Doesn't he look just like me?" It was the cutest picture and she looked just as beautiful as she always did. That was several years ago and she tells everyone that her son, August, saved her life. Because she was pregnant and had frequent tests and exams this cancer was caught much, much earlier than they usual are. My good thoughts are with you always.
Stef0 -
Sending Hugs!
I'll bet your Pink Mowhawk looked cool - Did you take a picture before you buzzed the rest?
I also didn't cry as much as I thought I would when hubby shaved my head (New Year's Day 2010), but this afternoon I'm going for my first trim after it has started to grow back - YEA!!! It's still pretty short, but it came in so curly that I just need help figuring out what to do with it.
Freak out to your heart's content - You've earned it.
Just come back when you can to let us know how you're doing.
HUGZ,
Cindy0 -
You are brave! I am still
You are brave! I am still in the waiting stage, I almost wonder if once you get to the point of shaving it, is it good to just have it done? It must be so hard though! It will grow back soon! Keeping thinking that, plus you have such a beautiful face! Your hair style can't change the sparkle in your eye or your happy smile!
How are you feeling since your second treatment?
Thinking about you,
Michelle0 -
thank you!MomMichelle said:You are brave! I am still
You are brave! I am still in the waiting stage, I almost wonder if once you get to the point of shaving it, is it good to just have it done? It must be so hard though! It will grow back soon! Keeping thinking that, plus you have such a beautiful face! Your hair style can't change the sparkle in your eye or your happy smile!
How are you feeling since your second treatment?
Thinking about you,
Michelle
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I did get a few mohawk pics - I have to say I like the pink mohawk much more than the black stubble look. Michelle - I was holding off on shaving until I just couldn't take it anymore - it was falling out all over, and went beyond just thinning out & was very noticeable on top - just looked like crap. I'm feeling ok since chemo, the ickiness & extreme fatigue are lifting & I'm on an up-swing now. The baby's gotten used to mommy's new look & likes to rub my head lol..i also rub her feet on top of my head & tickle her & she gets a kick out of that..i still think i look old & sick now. I have been splurging on new makeup though - and when I have my make up on all pretty & shiny pink lip gloss, it really isn't so bad. Another fill tomorrow, yay!!
*hugs*
Heather0 -
I have to admit I wasHeatherbelle said:thank you!
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I did get a few mohawk pics - I have to say I like the pink mohawk much more than the black stubble look. Michelle - I was holding off on shaving until I just couldn't take it anymore - it was falling out all over, and went beyond just thinning out & was very noticeable on top - just looked like crap. I'm feeling ok since chemo, the ickiness & extreme fatigue are lifting & I'm on an up-swing now. The baby's gotten used to mommy's new look & likes to rub my head lol..i also rub her feet on top of my head & tickle her & she gets a kick out of that..i still think i look old & sick now. I have been splurging on new makeup though - and when I have my make up on all pretty & shiny pink lip gloss, it really isn't so bad. Another fill tomorrow, yay!!
*hugs*
Heather
I have to admit I was traumatized about my hair falling out. I truly decided it wasn't gonna happen. Well, I got it buzzed short, but all the buzzed hair came out in clumps and I had it shaved. By that time I was ready and finally facing reality. I hated the way I looked but it felt good to get it done and over with. I'm almost 5 mos. since the end of chemo and I have hair. Not a lot, but it's enough that I ditched the wig for the hot summer. I think it's cute how you used the situation to play with your baby. Good luck and warmest wishes for your continued well-being.0 -
Heather, I also shaved myGayleMc said:I have to admit I was
I have to admit I was traumatized about my hair falling out. I truly decided it wasn't gonna happen. Well, I got it buzzed short, but all the buzzed hair came out in clumps and I had it shaved. By that time I was ready and finally facing reality. I hated the way I looked but it felt good to get it done and over with. I'm almost 5 mos. since the end of chemo and I have hair. Not a lot, but it's enough that I ditched the wig for the hot summer. I think it's cute how you used the situation to play with your baby. Good luck and warmest wishes for your continued well-being.
Heather, I also shaved my head when the time came that it was coming out in chunks. Ya my husband and son said i looked pretty good bald. Ya they were full of it, but it was a nice thing to say at the time. One good thing, depending on where you live the weather is going to get cooler so when you wear scarfs, wigs or hats you won't be hot as he--. Don't be surprised if in the next few weeks your head feels really sore. This is normal. It will go away. My hair is now about 3 inch in the back about 2 in front. So it will come backt a pain waiting for it.0 -
Pink streakKat11 said:Heather, I also shaved my
Heather, I also shaved my head when the time came that it was coming out in chunks. Ya my husband and son said i looked pretty good bald. Ya they were full of it, but it was a nice thing to say at the time. One good thing, depending on where you live the weather is going to get cooler so when you wear scarfs, wigs or hats you won't be hot as he--. Don't be surprised if in the next few weeks your head feels really sore. This is normal. It will go away. My hair is now about 3 inch in the back about 2 in front. So it will come backt a pain waiting for it.
I had my 14 year old shave my head when the time came, it did not even occur to me that I might be traumatizing her.
It is just hair, as pointed out previously. Your bold pink streak always makes me smile when I come across it perusing the boards. Too, I am thrilled that you and your family got to play!0 -
Boy golly,
Do I ever remember THAT night...... Heather, I am now 4 months past chemo. Yes there were times 2 month past that I still resembled a pin cushion! Well my husband said I was a CUTE pin cushion, sweet guy. But, IT WILL GROW BACK....ALL of it....even the stuff you don't really want to grow back! You are such a cute woman. I love your picture. I can tell you are a fun, Happy person. My Mom always use to say-This too, shall pass. Sigh. She was right. Hang in there! We are with you on this!!!! xoxo, Jackie0 -
Did you ever?jackiejhm said:Boy golly,
Do I ever remember THAT night...... Heather, I am now 4 months past chemo. Yes there were times 2 month past that I still resembled a pin cushion! Well my husband said I was a CUTE pin cushion, sweet guy. But, IT WILL GROW BACK....ALL of it....even the stuff you don't really want to grow back! You are such a cute woman. I love your picture. I can tell you are a fun, Happy person. My Mom always use to say-This too, shall pass. Sigh. She was right. Hang in there! We are with you on this!!!! xoxo, Jackie
Did you ever see the commercial of the little old man getting off the bus advertising SIX FLAGS?
Well, when I first looked in the mirror after my daughter shaved my head I thought I looked like my Uncle Joe, but then I realized it was that little man I really looked like! Now that it's going to be gone again soon, I'm NOT planning to look in the mirror!
One other thing: When it grows back, it sometimes comes in a different color than it used to be.
BUT, I don't think it will EVER come in PINK! lol
God bless, Marsha
P.S. When it starts coming back, it's only your family and closest friends that tell you "You look like a Chia Pet."0 -
You are brave and I bet youHeatherbelle said:thank you!
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I did get a few mohawk pics - I have to say I like the pink mohawk much more than the black stubble look. Michelle - I was holding off on shaving until I just couldn't take it anymore - it was falling out all over, and went beyond just thinning out & was very noticeable on top - just looked like crap. I'm feeling ok since chemo, the ickiness & extreme fatigue are lifting & I'm on an up-swing now. The baby's gotten used to mommy's new look & likes to rub my head lol..i also rub her feet on top of my head & tickle her & she gets a kick out of that..i still think i look old & sick now. I have been splurging on new makeup though - and when I have my make up on all pretty & shiny pink lip gloss, it really isn't so bad. Another fill tomorrow, yay!!
*hugs*
Heather
You are brave and I bet you do look marvelous!
Hugs, Megan0 -
Feeling your pain
I'm going to be getting my hair cut short tomorrow...later today actually, as it's after midnight here. ☹ Mine isn't as long as yours was (I read yours was waist length when you got your dx) but it's down past my shoulders, longer than it has been since I was a child. Wouldn't you know that when I finally decide to let my hair grow out I get diagnosed with cancer! ☁ I'll be starting my chemo soon, so I'll be sporting the baldness right along with you in a couple of weeks. I keep telling myself not to flip out about it, but I'm not looking forward to facing an Indiana winter with no hair. ☃ I'm hoping it'll grow back with more body, since mine has always been flat as a board. Anyway, all we can do is wade right into this mess. God bless & keep you! ✞
Jenn♥0 -
Ooh these cold Indianawinsomebulldog said:Feeling your pain
I'm going to be getting my hair cut short tomorrow...later today actually, as it's after midnight here. ☹ Mine isn't as long as yours was (I read yours was waist length when you got your dx) but it's down past my shoulders, longer than it has been since I was a child. Wouldn't you know that when I finally decide to let my hair grow out I get diagnosed with cancer! ☁ I'll be starting my chemo soon, so I'll be sporting the baldness right along with you in a couple of weeks. I keep telling myself not to flip out about it, but I'm not looking forward to facing an Indiana winter with no hair. ☃ I'm hoping it'll grow back with more body, since mine has always been flat as a board. Anyway, all we can do is wade right into this mess. God bless & keep you! ✞
Jenn♥
Ooh these cold Indiana winters - I had to turn our air conditioner off last night as I was frezing & couldn't quite figure out why...duh because my head is bald...got me thinking how COLD I'm going to be this winter (I'm in South Bend, IN, Jenn..)
I told myself not to flip out about it either, and I didn't, not too bad. It really just got to the point that I had clumps of hair everywhere that I was tired of vacuuming, every shower I took filled the drain, and after my shower yesterday you could see some bald spots. Now I'm actually thinking about taking a razor & shaving off the stubble, because I didn't sleep for crap last night, these little stubbles rubbing on my pillow hurt! Man, if someone could invent a pill or treatment to prevent chemo hair loss they would be heroes and millionaires lol...I know it seems so vain but I barely had any grey hairs (ok i had a few, but between the pink bangs & blonde highlights you couldn't tell)...here I am 34, 2 months ago I lost my breasts, yesterday I lost my hair, and I'm a mother of 2 young girls myself. I try not to let it get to me but next thing you know they're going to want my ovaries and then ALL my girly stuff will be gone!
I am going a bit heavier on the eyeliner, putting a brighter shade of pink on my cheeks, and going overboard with the lip gloss. I wasn't much of a "girly girl" before this, but now I feel like being as feminine as I can. When I look in the mirror, though, all that comes to mind is that paparazzi pic of Britney Spears, right after she shaved her head, where she was grimacing & pointing that umbrella at someone lol....at least I'm just bald, not crazy too!!
*thanks and hugs*
Heather0 -
No Worries It Will Grow Back
Good for you having the courage to get it all shaved off! I had mine shaved off just after my first chemo and just started wearing cute hats if I needed to go out. It will come back probably thicker and curlier than ever...mine did!
Hang in there!
Morgan0 -
HeatherHeatherbelle said:Ooh these cold Indiana
Ooh these cold Indiana winters - I had to turn our air conditioner off last night as I was frezing & couldn't quite figure out why...duh because my head is bald...got me thinking how COLD I'm going to be this winter (I'm in South Bend, IN, Jenn..)
I told myself not to flip out about it either, and I didn't, not too bad. It really just got to the point that I had clumps of hair everywhere that I was tired of vacuuming, every shower I took filled the drain, and after my shower yesterday you could see some bald spots. Now I'm actually thinking about taking a razor & shaving off the stubble, because I didn't sleep for crap last night, these little stubbles rubbing on my pillow hurt! Man, if someone could invent a pill or treatment to prevent chemo hair loss they would be heroes and millionaires lol...I know it seems so vain but I barely had any grey hairs (ok i had a few, but between the pink bangs & blonde highlights you couldn't tell)...here I am 34, 2 months ago I lost my breasts, yesterday I lost my hair, and I'm a mother of 2 young girls myself. I try not to let it get to me but next thing you know they're going to want my ovaries and then ALL my girly stuff will be gone!
I am going a bit heavier on the eyeliner, putting a brighter shade of pink on my cheeks, and going overboard with the lip gloss. I wasn't much of a "girly girl" before this, but now I feel like being as feminine as I can. When I look in the mirror, though, all that comes to mind is that paparazzi pic of Britney Spears, right after she shaved her head, where she was grimacing & pointing that umbrella at someone lol....at least I'm just bald, not crazy too!!
*thanks and hugs*
Heather
Get yourself a "sleep cap" It will keep your head warm & cozy & also not hurt as much because those little stubbies won't be rubbing on your pillow. I got shaved 5 weeks ago and still wear it. Plus you can get really cute ones.
Cindy0 -
No, Heather, you're not crazy!Heatherbelle said:Ooh these cold Indiana
Ooh these cold Indiana winters - I had to turn our air conditioner off last night as I was frezing & couldn't quite figure out why...duh because my head is bald...got me thinking how COLD I'm going to be this winter (I'm in South Bend, IN, Jenn..)
I told myself not to flip out about it either, and I didn't, not too bad. It really just got to the point that I had clumps of hair everywhere that I was tired of vacuuming, every shower I took filled the drain, and after my shower yesterday you could see some bald spots. Now I'm actually thinking about taking a razor & shaving off the stubble, because I didn't sleep for crap last night, these little stubbles rubbing on my pillow hurt! Man, if someone could invent a pill or treatment to prevent chemo hair loss they would be heroes and millionaires lol...I know it seems so vain but I barely had any grey hairs (ok i had a few, but between the pink bangs & blonde highlights you couldn't tell)...here I am 34, 2 months ago I lost my breasts, yesterday I lost my hair, and I'm a mother of 2 young girls myself. I try not to let it get to me but next thing you know they're going to want my ovaries and then ALL my girly stuff will be gone!
I am going a bit heavier on the eyeliner, putting a brighter shade of pink on my cheeks, and going overboard with the lip gloss. I wasn't much of a "girly girl" before this, but now I feel like being as feminine as I can. When I look in the mirror, though, all that comes to mind is that paparazzi pic of Britney Spears, right after she shaved her head, where she was grimacing & pointing that umbrella at someone lol....at least I'm just bald, not crazy too!!
*thanks and hugs*
Heather
I have a night cap (not a drink, mind you). A store near me as well as a couple of the websites have cute ones with lace on them. They come in cotton or terry and should do the trick of keeping your head warm at night. In CT our 90 deg days went to low 70's real quick. We may be back to 90's in the next couple of days though. We too get fairly cold during the winter. I crochet chemo hats and would love to mail you one if I had your address :-)
Char0 -
You are very courageous!MomMichelle said:You are brave! I am still
You are brave! I am still in the waiting stage, I almost wonder if once you get to the point of shaving it, is it good to just have it done? It must be so hard though! It will grow back soon! Keeping thinking that, plus you have such a beautiful face! Your hair style can't change the sparkle in your eye or your happy smile!
How are you feeling since your second treatment?
Thinking about you,
Michelle
You are very courageous! And, I bet you still look beautiful too!
Hugs, Jan0
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