okay, here's my topless day story too...
Comments
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I am proud of you too
Wow it does take allot of courage to do something and you know the stares are coming along with the odd comment. Well single women get sometimes for raising children alone. Single women get it if they work at unconventional jobs. Women get it if they stand against the norm for whatever reason and also have to live with partners critisisms that can also be very hurtful.
I am grateful I stuck around long enough to see this site actually talk about things that should matter to all women. Yes not easy being single mother, working in male oriented world as well as being that lesbian everyone isn't sure about. Know this all I have been waiting for this day and thanks to you Emily and others I finally feel like it has happened. Women/FEMALES truly are the bravest things on this planet and should be looked to for more answers than questions the men see us for.
Being comfortable with wigs or being bald. Being comfortable with who we are is the best thing there is and having to face our fears as we do with cancer can truly change everything.
THANKS
Tara0 -
Right on, Chen! Thank-you,chenheart said:I have my GPS programmed in
I have my GPS programmed in the direction of your Bible Belt...and my Karma is about to run over their Dogma!
People are of course allowed to have their opinions, fears, prejudices, (or is that Prejudi?) etc etc. We are products of our upbringing, good or bad. And yet~ there is a limit!!!
As most of our moms said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"~ and hello Bible-belters, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I don't think I need to say who spoke those words, do I?
This is not a blatant indictment against those in the Bible Belt, or anywhere else, of course. There are lovely, fair-minded, giving people everywhere~ I know that.
This is just a big POOPY-FOOEY to the mean-spirited ones, and a big HOOORAH to you, beautiful topless sister!!!
Hugs,
Chen♥
Right on, Chen! Thank-you, dear friend.
I was raised in a true-blue-Southern-Baptist church, but I was always taught that even though there may be someone who's different or living a life we may not believe in, it's not up to us to make that judgement call for them. Because we do things wrong, too. "Let he who has no sin cast the first stone." Just love everybody, period, that's all there is to it.
I feel bad for the few friends I have had through life who *are* in fact homosexual. My hair will grow back and I won't get those rude judgemental comments in Wal-Mart anymore. But they have to go through that stuff all the time. And they endure it with such grace and patience!0 -
You look better than I did!
You look better than I did! I took a picture of me when my hair was just coming back in and I knew I looked different so I made a funny face so my eyes looked like they were popping out of my head. I just couldn't go out like that but then it was winter! You look marvelous! Those other people are just ignorant. At least being bald is temporary, stupidy is permanent.
I have Parkinson's and people look at me funny too. Some days I wish I had my cane with me to trip a few. Just kidding.0 -
haha! some people deserve aMarcia527 said:You look better than I did!
You look better than I did! I took a picture of me when my hair was just coming back in and I knew I looked different so I made a funny face so my eyes looked like they were popping out of my head. I just couldn't go out like that but then it was winter! You look marvelous! Those other people are just ignorant. At least being bald is temporary, stupidy is permanent.
I have Parkinson's and people look at me funny too. Some days I wish I had my cane with me to trip a few. Just kidding.
haha! some people deserve a good cane beating...
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HeatherHeatherbelle said:I so admire your courage,
I so admire your courage, and I hope that I can follow in your footsteps when my hair is gone, which will be in about a week according to my estimates
People can be SO ignorant..I'm in the midwest (Indiana) -not exactly the most liberal minded folks around here -I've had my share of stares since I got my hair cut super short, buzzed in back & sides but a little bit of length in front, which is dyed blonde & pink, which i sometimes spike up into a mohawk - so i get alot of people who just assume i'm gay & decide to smirk or stare. I just stare back & smile. People really have no idea how their ignorance can make others feel so uncomfortable. My suggestion would be (rather than kicking everyone in the face who acts that rude to you...) when you hear one of those a-hole comments I would respond with "No assh*le -I'm not gay, sorry for the disappointment, it's just cancer". Make THEM feel uncomfortable and foolish.
Ooh that just makes me so mad. I have a tendency to be a bit outspoken, tell it like it is, brash even -and man oh man I really feel sorry for the fool who acts like that around me, especially if i had my kids with me...oooh nooo way....i can see the police reports already lol....
best of luck to you beautiful courageous woman....and "Eff-Word" to the ignorant people out there!
*big hugs*
Heather
I grew up in Indiana!0 -
Wow! That is quite some
Wow! That is quite some experience and take a huge amount of courage to see it through. I on the other hand live south of San Francisco, near Stanford University and have been walking around wiht no hair on my head for months. I have a few kids stare at me, but never had an unkind word said about the status of my hair or lack thereof. In fact I have had many a people comment on how good I look!! Admittedly I make a point of dressing a little stylish, wearing earrings and just enjoying being in my skin but on the whole people have been very kind.
I guess the demographics makes a huge a difference and I am so sorry for all those women out there who have to endure the judgements and ignorance of other people. It says a great deal for all you who have the courage to go 'topless'.0 -
Awh the wind thing blowin
Awh the wind thing blowin thru your hair or SPOUTS feels pretty good...tickles a little too.
I loved your pic...you look great even at 5am!
One of my first experiences that first day was we were at Tacobell eating sitting next to the window and unfortunately the drive thru went right past where we were sitting. I happened to look over out the window and 4 teenage boys in a car were pointing and laughing at me and they didnt care that i knew it. well since we couldnt hear each other i sent them a message they could understand...i waved at them with just one finger.0 -
The way people act isjo jo said:Awh the wind thing blowin
Awh the wind thing blowin thru your hair or SPOUTS feels pretty good...tickles a little too.
I loved your pic...you look great even at 5am!
One of my first experiences that first day was we were at Tacobell eating sitting next to the window and unfortunately the drive thru went right past where we were sitting. I happened to look over out the window and 4 teenage boys in a car were pointing and laughing at me and they didnt care that i knew it. well since we couldnt hear each other i sent them a message they could understand...i waved at them with just one finger.
The way people act is sometimes beyond belief. I work with the public and when I first ditched the wig, everyone had to comment. Most were kind but some guy asked me if I got in a fight with a lawnmower. I told him no, I'd been in a fight with cancer. Another guy told me how brave I was to be seen " like that ". One thing that always strikes me is that people don't realize that this can happen to them or someone they love and hopefully kindness and understanding will be what they come across. All you folks rock and I'm not glad to have BC but glad to be blessed with everyone here.0 -
I feel sorry that folks behave that way!
It's really hard to believe grown adults can act like that and then be an example to their children...scary.
You look adorable in your picture.
And yes...I loved that 1st time when you finally take off the wig, hat, scarf and feel the tickly wind...nothing like it!
Hugs,
Sylvia0 -
Emily, you are cute as a button! (if that doesn't give awaysea60 said:I feel sorry that folks behave that way!
It's really hard to believe grown adults can act like that and then be an example to their children...scary.
You look adorable in your picture.
And yes...I loved that 1st time when you finally take off the wig, hat, scarf and feel the tickly wind...nothing like it!
Hugs,
Sylvia
my age,nothing will! hahaha) I really don't understand what all those hateful, ignorant people were talking about. But we have to remember, it was Walmart and we've all seen those pictures of the People of Walmart! I honestly don't know why you didn't look back at everyone of them and say "Sorry, hairdo by chemo, breast cancer...I'm thrilled that it's growing back in".
When I shed my baseball caps I have waited for some looks etc. and either I'm too stupid to notice or am not paying attention, but I have never gone thru that...and my hair is 3" at the back and one side and the shortest is 1" on the top, but you can see my scalp thru the top, so now I look like one of those poor ladies with really thin hair....and curly too.
You look beautiful and your hair is coming in great...isn't the wind wonderful? Hold your head up and smile and don't forget to mention the hairdo by breast cancer...then have fun watching their faces crumble with shame...
We all waited weeks and months for this much growth and I'm enjoying it and those that don't have any sense of manners and can't figure it out on their own can all get Jo-Jo's one finger salute! Love it Jo-Jo!
By the way, your hubby ain't bad either.
Hugs, Judy :-)0 -
First, congrats Emily onSkeezie said:Emily, you are cute as a button! (if that doesn't give away
my age,nothing will! hahaha) I really don't understand what all those hateful, ignorant people were talking about. But we have to remember, it was Walmart and we've all seen those pictures of the People of Walmart! I honestly don't know why you didn't look back at everyone of them and say "Sorry, hairdo by chemo, breast cancer...I'm thrilled that it's growing back in".
When I shed my baseball caps I have waited for some looks etc. and either I'm too stupid to notice or am not paying attention, but I have never gone thru that...and my hair is 3" at the back and one side and the shortest is 1" on the top, but you can see my scalp thru the top, so now I look like one of those poor ladies with really thin hair....and curly too.
You look beautiful and your hair is coming in great...isn't the wind wonderful? Hold your head up and smile and don't forget to mention the hairdo by breast cancer...then have fun watching their faces crumble with shame...
We all waited weeks and months for this much growth and I'm enjoying it and those that don't have any sense of manners and can't figure it out on their own can all get Jo-Jo's one finger salute! Love it Jo-Jo!
By the way, your hubby ain't bad either.
Hugs, Judy :-)
First, congrats Emily on going topless! I am so very proud of you!
Second, I have always avoided ignorance and just laughed at it. I am just sorry that what those ignorant, stupid people did and said might have even have stolen a lil bit of your happiness. Please don't let it! I didn't go through chemo, so, I didn't have any of the hair comments. But, from what so many of you have written, people can be so rude that it makes you wonder what in their lives has made them so miserable. You have to pity them I suppose.
But, you straighten your shoulders out, stand tall and shout to the world that you are a survivor and a brave warrior in the battle for your life!
And, you won!
Rude people are just stupid people. And, you are so above and beyond them!
Enjoy being topless! You look great!
Sue
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Here in new England, peopleRitzy said:First, congrats Emily on
First, congrats Emily on going topless! I am so very proud of you!
Second, I have always avoided ignorance and just laughed at it. I am just sorry that what those ignorant, stupid people did and said might have even have stolen a lil bit of your happiness. Please don't let it! I didn't go through chemo, so, I didn't have any of the hair comments. But, from what so many of you have written, people can be so rude that it makes you wonder what in their lives has made them so miserable. You have to pity them I suppose.
But, you straighten your shoulders out, stand tall and shout to the world that you are a survivor and a brave warrior in the battle for your life!
And, you won!
Rude people are just stupid people. And, you are so above and beyond them!
Enjoy being topless! You look great!
Sue
Here in new England, people probably think it more than say it. I can't believe the hatred in people and I feel sorry for them with such ugliness inside them! I have had to some soul searching about myself.
I never would have chosen my short do, and now that I am small I think I look like a boy too. I wondered at myself, am I homophobic?, and my kids said, you want to look like what you are. I know some lesbians wear their hair that way, because they like it and it is who they are. Also some heterosexual women prefer short hair too. It is not the hairstyle I would choose. I just want to my life and look to be somewhat similar to the way it was before this hit me again. hair means so much to us in ways I never expected. I think I will wear it shorter than I used to, and with the hot flashes it sure comes in handy. Why does who we love have to be such an issue? There are so many real issues to be concerned about. I have a friend whose daughter has come out to her, and she cant handle it. I was suprised by her wondering about how people would view this, now I understand it better. My daughters best friend at school is a gay male. we text him all the time for clothes advice.
Emily we all adore you , you are such a ray of sunshine, I am sorry you had to deal with this you didnt deserve it. I checked out your pic you look awesome awesome awesome. Your hubby is cute too!!!!!0 -
You look great! All ofpattimc said:Proud of you....
So very proud of you Emily for not letting people get you down...to heck with them! You look great to me! I felt the same way when I went topless. I always felt like I had to explain. Not anymore! Going for my fourth haircut on Saturday!
Best to you!
Patti
You look great! All of those dumb people are just that - dumb!
Proud of you too Emily!0 -
aw, thankscarkris said:Here in new England, people
Here in new England, people probably think it more than say it. I can't believe the hatred in people and I feel sorry for them with such ugliness inside them! I have had to some soul searching about myself.
I never would have chosen my short do, and now that I am small I think I look like a boy too. I wondered at myself, am I homophobic?, and my kids said, you want to look like what you are. I know some lesbians wear their hair that way, because they like it and it is who they are. Also some heterosexual women prefer short hair too. It is not the hairstyle I would choose. I just want to my life and look to be somewhat similar to the way it was before this hit me again. hair means so much to us in ways I never expected. I think I will wear it shorter than I used to, and with the hot flashes it sure comes in handy. Why does who we love have to be such an issue? There are so many real issues to be concerned about. I have a friend whose daughter has come out to her, and she cant handle it. I was suprised by her wondering about how people would view this, now I understand it better. My daughters best friend at school is a gay male. we text him all the time for clothes advice.
Emily we all adore you , you are such a ray of sunshine, I am sorry you had to deal with this you didnt deserve it. I checked out your pic you look awesome awesome awesome. Your hubby is cute too!!!!!
You say such sweet things. Thankyou for lifting and cheering me up!
I've done a lot of soul searching, too, carkris. I just go back to thinking this is a good chance for me to really latch on to the idea that it shouldn't matter what other folks think, even though it hurts pretty bad when they're mean like that. But, the folks that really matter will keep loving us regardless of how we look, and I'm sure they don't love us just for our hair! I'm just glad my hubby thinks I'm still beautiful. and yes, i think he's pretty cute too
Anyhow, I feel so smug - it's so hot and muggy today, but I've got this maintenance free hair-do that is soooooo nice and cool. I work at a national park, and I've been outside most of the day seeing women outside with long thick hair and thinking, "neener neener neeeeeeener..." hahaha 0 -
Emily you handled yourself
with much tact. Congrats! People can be so cruel and it's usually adults. Children are puzzled and cute. I love the comment Punkindo's son made :-) I had my 1st chemo yesterday and have an appt with hairdresser for the 26th. I already have short hair but don't know what it's going to look like before she shaves it. I have a 10am appt and I'll walk in wearing whatever hair I have at the time. I plan on going topless at home and around my house. I will not wear a wig - they're too hot! I bought little soft cotton hats and hairbands.
You go girl and be proud. Phooey with those who judge and don't know what you've been through!
Char0 -
Hi I'm proud of you. I am
Hi I'm proud of you. I am new to the web pade .I too have gotten plenty of stares so don't worry you look great. I brought a bunch of hats and never put them on. My kids encouraged me to wear my bald head saying it is the new style. I feel so helpless without hair. You have a lot of guts. Stay strong0 -
Welcome!Sherlon Evans said:Hi I'm proud of you. I am
Hi I'm proud of you. I am new to the web pade .I too have gotten plenty of stares so don't worry you look great. I brought a bunch of hats and never put them on. My kids encouraged me to wear my bald head saying it is the new style. I feel so helpless without hair. You have a lot of guts. Stay strong
Hey, welcome, Sherlon! These women are so on here are powerfully encouraging and uplifting, it makes life after a cancer diagnosis a bit more bearable. So glad you found this place
And what great kids you have to encourage you like that about going without hats I bet you look great! You stay strong too, Sherlon! Take care,
Emily0 -
Welcome to the best siteSherlon Evans said:Hi I'm proud of you. I am
Hi I'm proud of you. I am new to the web pade .I too have gotten plenty of stares so don't worry you look great. I brought a bunch of hats and never put them on. My kids encouraged me to wear my bald head saying it is the new style. I feel so helpless without hair. You have a lot of guts. Stay strong
Welcome to the best site Sherlon ever! You are amongst so many loving, caring and supportive sisters in pink that will help you along the path of treatment.
Sounds like you have some great kids!
Good luck to you!
Sue 0 -
Emily = topless!Snowkitty said:I seriously don't know how
I seriously don't know how you didn't end up in jail for assault. Can't imagine those rude comments. Your tongue must be really sore from biting it.
Cindy
Emily = topless! Congrats!
Hugs, Jan0 -
I am so proud of you tooVickiSam said:Emily .. What a butt hole society we live in .. as many wonder
ful stories come across our boards, we also see the flip side of the coin! I am so sorry that you had to experience such rude behavior by adults and lack of human kindness or sympathy.
I had a shirt .. which I designed and had a local sport shop stencil .. I am fighting breast cancer .. with the American Cancer Society 800 number on the back .. just for those days when I went to Wal-Mart to face those green/yellow drippy nosed kids -- coughing and hacking in my face while their Mothers stared at me .. I found more kind and civilized folks at Macy's or Nordie's while shopping for hats, under garnments etc - believe me when I say that purchasing Sale items at either store will beat the price and quality off of any JC Penney's or Sears store -- I never pay full price for anything -- and I've been a Purchasing Manager, or Purchasing Agent/Buyer for 17 years. I frequent Target early a.m. for my everday tide, downey ..essentials.
Vicki Sam
I am so proud of you too Emily! And, congrats on going topless! WTG!0
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