okay, here's my topless day story too...
I went to Wal-Mart two days ago. I guess most folks are fairly in tune and figured it out - I wear a yellow livestrong bracelet and a purple R4L one, too, so figure folks can deduce why my hair is so short. But, you wouldn't believe the rude stares and things a few people said very loudly to make sure I could hear them!! Arg! One lady passed by and said (loudly) "That HE is a SHE, oh that is DISGUSTING." and in line at the check out, a little 3 or 4 yr old boy was grinning up at me and showing me his package of candy, so I said, "Hey, buddy, whatcha got there?" His mom turned around and grabbed him and pulled him over to her and told him, "Don't you talk to *that*". Ugh, can you believe that?!! I just can't believe how rude people are. Now, I live smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt, and homosexuality is not exactly the most acceptable lifestyle around here. But until being mistaken for a lesbian in Wal-Mart, I never realized how blatantly rude and judgemental people can actually be about it. Well, anyhow, I'm going off track a bit. Just bugging me the last couple days.
Anyhow, yeah I'm topless now! And the people who count - friends, family, co-workers - they think it's awesome and keep letting me know how proud they are of me. So, phooey on everybody else. I *like* this whole wind-through-my-sprouts feeling! I'm free, I'm free! hahaha. Y'all have a GREAT day!
Comments
-
Proud of you....
So very proud of you Emily for not letting people get you down...to heck with them! You look great to me! I felt the same way when I went topless. I always felt like I had to explain. Not anymore! Going for my fourth haircut on Saturday!
Best to you!
Patti0 -
Emily
Glad you had a good time and you love the "wind through your sprouts feeling" as you put it. Your pic looks great and you look like a woman to me, so forget those thoughtless people. I don't know why some people think they have the right to make such ugly comments to others. Just shows what's in their hearts, pure nasty hate. Sorry you had to hear that, but you just keep on smiling.
Jennifer0 -
people are rudems.sunshine said:Emily
Glad you had a good time and you love the "wind through your sprouts feeling" as you put it. Your pic looks great and you look like a woman to me, so forget those thoughtless people. I don't know why some people think they have the right to make such ugly comments to others. Just shows what's in their hearts, pure nasty hate. Sorry you had to hear that, but you just keep on smiling.
Jennifer
some people are just plain rude i remember when i had no hair from chemo last summer, i wore a bandanna and one day i went to the post office to get stamps well the postmaster and a lady in front of me were making fun of me. when she left it was my turn so i asked him for the breast cancer stamps and he said oh them are for a good cause i said yes i know i was diagnosed with breastcancer. he had a very sorry look on his face for making fun of me and he did say he was sorry to me. so anyway you keep keeping on dont worry about what they say .
wishing you the best
teresa0 -
People are Pr***s
I live in a community that does St. Baldrick's Day every year, so seeing buzz cut women and children is a pretty common thing (at least once a year)and some women just wear there hair that length as their hair style. You look good, except someone needs to teach your husband how to smile; just joking. I don't think you would have gotten any rude comments if he was with you. I guess I'll let you know in about six or seven months from now if people are as rude on Long Island as they are in the Bible belt.
Bob0 -
Emily .. What a butt hole society we live in .. as many wonderHubby said:People are Pr***s
I live in a community that does St. Baldrick's Day every year, so seeing buzz cut women and children is a pretty common thing (at least once a year)and some women just wear there hair that length as their hair style. You look good, except someone needs to teach your husband how to smile; just joking. I don't think you would have gotten any rude comments if he was with you. I guess I'll let you know in about six or seven months from now if people are as rude on Long Island as they are in the Bible belt.
Bob
ful stories come across our boards, we also see the flip side of the coin! I am so sorry that you had to experience such rude behavior by adults and lack of human kindness or sympathy.
I had a shirt .. which I designed and had a local sport shop stencil .. I am fighting breast cancer .. with the American Cancer Society 800 number on the back .. just for those days when I went to Wal-Mart to face those green/yellow drippy nosed kids -- coughing and hacking in my face while their Mothers stared at me .. I found more kind and civilized folks at Macy's or Nordie's while shopping for hats, under garnments etc - believe me when I say that purchasing Sale items at either store will beat the price and quality off of any JC Penney's or Sears store -- I never pay full price for anything -- and I've been a Purchasing Manager, or Purchasing Agent/Buyer for 17 years. I frequent Target early a.m. for my everday tide, downey ..essentials.
Vicki Sam0 -
I have my GPS programmed in
I have my GPS programmed in the direction of your Bible Belt...and my Karma is about to run over their Dogma!
People are of course allowed to have their opinions, fears, prejudices, (or is that Prejudi?) etc etc. We are products of our upbringing, good or bad. And yet~ there is a limit!!!
As most of our moms said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"~ and hello Bible-belters, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I don't think I need to say who spoke those words, do I?
This is not a blatant indictment against those in the Bible Belt, or anywhere else, of course. There are lovely, fair-minded, giving people everywhere~ I know that.
This is just a big POOPY-FOOEY to the mean-spirited ones, and a big HOOORAH to you, beautiful topless sister!!!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
I so admire your courage,
I so admire your courage, and I hope that I can follow in your footsteps when my hair is gone, which will be in about a week according to my estimates
People can be SO ignorant..I'm in the midwest (Indiana) -not exactly the most liberal minded folks around here -I've had my share of stares since I got my hair cut super short, buzzed in back & sides but a little bit of length in front, which is dyed blonde & pink, which i sometimes spike up into a mohawk - so i get alot of people who just assume i'm gay & decide to smirk or stare. I just stare back & smile. People really have no idea how their ignorance can make others feel so uncomfortable. My suggestion would be (rather than kicking everyone in the face who acts that rude to you...) when you hear one of those a-hole comments I would respond with "No assh*le -I'm not gay, sorry for the disappointment, it's just cancer". Make THEM feel uncomfortable and foolish.
Ooh that just makes me so mad. I have a tendency to be a bit outspoken, tell it like it is, brash even -and man oh man I really feel sorry for the fool who acts like that around me, especially if i had my kids with me...oooh nooo way....i can see the police reports already lol....
best of luck to you beautiful courageous woman....and "Eff-Word" to the ignorant people out there!
*big hugs*
Heather0 -
You should a kicked them in
You should a kicked them in the shins.
There is nothing wrong with the way you look. Anybody in their right mind should be able to understand that having short hair does not make you any different than anybody else. It just means you have short hair.
The first time the wind blew my hair it was like "Oh what was that. Oh my, my hair moved." I tried to put curlers in my hair last night. Still not long enough even for the itty bitty ones.
Hugs
Donna0 -
Emily, You are Beautiful!Heatherbelle said:I so admire your courage,
I so admire your courage, and I hope that I can follow in your footsteps when my hair is gone, which will be in about a week according to my estimates
People can be SO ignorant..I'm in the midwest (Indiana) -not exactly the most liberal minded folks around here -I've had my share of stares since I got my hair cut super short, buzzed in back & sides but a little bit of length in front, which is dyed blonde & pink, which i sometimes spike up into a mohawk - so i get alot of people who just assume i'm gay & decide to smirk or stare. I just stare back & smile. People really have no idea how their ignorance can make others feel so uncomfortable. My suggestion would be (rather than kicking everyone in the face who acts that rude to you...) when you hear one of those a-hole comments I would respond with "No assh*le -I'm not gay, sorry for the disappointment, it's just cancer". Make THEM feel uncomfortable and foolish.
Ooh that just makes me so mad. I have a tendency to be a bit outspoken, tell it like it is, brash even -and man oh man I really feel sorry for the fool who acts like that around me, especially if i had my kids with me...oooh nooo way....i can see the police reports already lol....
best of luck to you beautiful courageous woman....and "Eff-Word" to the ignorant people out there!
*big hugs*
Heather
And, to me, you look like a strong, brave woman! I've just started going topless myself and sometimes I get self-conscious when I get the stares. Funny, it's usually the adults--the kids just sort of look and accept. I've decided I'm just gonna stare right back--and keep staring until they get uncomfortable and have to look away. Yesterday, I really stared an ignorant woman down and it made me feel strong and empowered!
Good luck and stay strong!
Renee0 -
I like your idea Renee -missrenee said:Emily, You are Beautiful!
And, to me, you look like a strong, brave woman! I've just started going topless myself and sometimes I get self-conscious when I get the stares. Funny, it's usually the adults--the kids just sort of look and accept. I've decided I'm just gonna stare right back--and keep staring until they get uncomfortable and have to look away. Yesterday, I really stared an ignorant woman down and it made me feel strong and empowered!
Good luck and stay strong!
Renee
I like your idea Renee - stare them down until they look away. That way you make THEM feel like a ****, and you can pay them back for acting like one without getting into legal trouble
I sure hope I can handle myself with the grace that you ladies are showing
*hugs*
Heather0 -
VickiSamVickiSam said:Emily .. What a butt hole society we live in .. as many wonder
ful stories come across our boards, we also see the flip side of the coin! I am so sorry that you had to experience such rude behavior by adults and lack of human kindness or sympathy.
I had a shirt .. which I designed and had a local sport shop stencil .. I am fighting breast cancer .. with the American Cancer Society 800 number on the back .. just for those days when I went to Wal-Mart to face those green/yellow drippy nosed kids -- coughing and hacking in my face while their Mothers stared at me .. I found more kind and civilized folks at Macy's or Nordie's while shopping for hats, under garnments etc - believe me when I say that purchasing Sale items at either store will beat the price and quality off of any JC Penney's or Sears store -- I never pay full price for anything -- and I've been a Purchasing Manager, or Purchasing Agent/Buyer for 17 years. I frequent Target early a.m. for my everday tide, downey ..essentials.
Vicki Sam
Right on- well said! xo0 -
Emily you look great
Your pictures are as wonderful as your spirit. I'm sorry you had a bad experience at Walmart, there in the Bible Belt. Being totally off topic, it makes me realize how difficult it is out there for some people ALL the time. We of course have had our share of s*cky time, but we all see the light at the end of the tunnel, the hair will come back, the eyebrows and lashes too, even that long annoying hair on your chin will be back, if you ever had one. We'll get stronger, less tired, and create a new normal for ourselves and our families. Your story pointed out to me not only how stupid and insensitive people can be when they don't understand cancer, but how STUPID and INSENSITIVE they can be when they don't understand alot of things.
Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a tangent.
Enjoy the breeze in your hair and the way it feels different when you shampoo now compared to a few months ago.
marge0 -
My son
I go pretty much everywhere with my 6 yo son. He has Aspergers and for some reason feels it necessary to tell everyone we see (if I am not wearing a wig) that his mom had chemo. He doesn't say it like it is a sad thing, he says it like he is proud and it makes me smile every time.0 -
Punkindo said:
My son
I go pretty much everywhere with my 6 yo son. He has Aspergers and for some reason feels it necessary to tell everyone we see (if I am not wearing a wig) that his mom had chemo. He doesn't say it like it is a sad thing, he says it like he is proud and it makes me smile every time.
Aw, what a little sweetheart you've got there 0 -
Thanks, friends!!
Thanks, Ladies + Bob! Thank-you for having my back and letting me vent. You all are so encouraging, and if I didn't have all the encouragement and support I've gotten over the months on this site, I'd probably be living life as a hermit in my back room with a paper bag over my head. Lots of hugs to each and every one of you!
And thankyou for the kind words about my picture - nice to hear some folks think I look allright afterall. I'm leaving my bandanas boxed up in the closet where I stuck them yesterday. 0 -
Chen, I love it!chenheart said:I have my GPS programmed in
I have my GPS programmed in the direction of your Bible Belt...and my Karma is about to run over their Dogma!
People are of course allowed to have their opinions, fears, prejudices, (or is that Prejudi?) etc etc. We are products of our upbringing, good or bad. And yet~ there is a limit!!!
As most of our moms said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"~ and hello Bible-belters, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I don't think I need to say who spoke those words, do I?
This is not a blatant indictment against those in the Bible Belt, or anywhere else, of course. There are lovely, fair-minded, giving people everywhere~ I know that.
This is just a big POOPY-FOOEY to the mean-spirited ones, and a big HOOORAH to you, beautiful topless sister!!!
Hugs,
Chen♥
I use that same statement all the time, about feeling like my dogma just got run over by my Karma!
I just figure what goes around, comes around. One of these days, one of those small-minded people will get diagnosed, go in for treatment, get high-dose chemo, go bald, and get the same treatment from her neighbors that she's been spouting! Or, as my daddy used to say, "It's a long road that doesn't have a turn in it somewhere."
Meanwhile, the people who love and support you through this are the ones who count, not those narrow minded prudes. So SMILE, cause you know you're loved!0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.9K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 398 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 793 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 63 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 540 Sarcoma
- 732 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards