Choosing Hospice

just4Brooks said:

)
You welcome... Sorry to ruffel so many people. LOL

herdizziness said:

My cousin in Hospice
I had to call hospice for my 80 year old cousin 2 months ago. I'm extremely grateful to them. No, he doesn't have cancer, he has other problems which aren't curable, the doc's have nothing more they can do for him.
He isn't drugged to a point that he doesn't know anything, as a matter of fact, to me, he doesn't have enough drugs, he still is in some pain. I hate the pain he suffers, he doesn't understand it. Hospice has at least seen to it, that he gets pain killers, which don't affect his mind. Thankfully (he's in a nursing home)hospice is seeing to his comfort, I travel every week to see him, (he lives in another town) and anything of concern, I call hospice and it is taken care of immediately (I HATE NURSING HOMES). After I asked, they brought in an air bed, then when I said he was complaining about his feet, they came and brought him an air pillow (the bed was too harsh for his poor tender feet). I travel every week to see him, I'm thankful for the hospice people for being there when I can't. A gentleman even comes once a week just to VISIT with him from hospice. I tried to get the nursing home to give him his favorite food (ICECREAM) daily and they sure weren't doing it. I called hospice, and it's been added to his daily diet.
So, in my view, thank you to the powers that be for hospice.

AnnaLeigh said:

Sometimes......
Sometimes choosing hospice is about having the strength to LET GO. We all know how much strength it takes to hold on to the hope that you will win this battle but it takes enormous strength to make a decision to stop the fight. This is always, and should be, a very personal and individual decision made only by the person who must go through the day-by-day struggle of trying to stay alive.

I wouldn't dream of asking a loved one to "never give up" and would never insist they seek additional treatments long after they have been subjected to more than their bodies can take just so I can have a few more precious months with them.

Hospice is about choices. Choosing how you will spend the remainder of your days. Something I hope I have a chance to decide.

Annabelle41415 said:

You are Right
My mom fought the hard battle and after it spread to her liver and other places (breast cancer) she told my dad "enough is enough." She couldn't do any more chemo and just wanted to "go home." Didn't live close to my mom at the time she was going through this but remember my daughter and I were on the way home as she had slipped into a coma the day before (and she was able to be at home because of hospice). My mom died 15 minutes before we got there. My daughter said to the hospice nurse "mean I came all this way for not even being even able to see Grandma one last time" and the beautiful hospice nurse sat on the front porch step and talked to my daughter and said, "she knew you and you're mom were coming. She wanted you to remember her how she was and not see her dying". Wow, brings tears to my eyes now. Those hospice nurses are very amazing to say the least. Thank God for them because my family had help with my mom in her last days and made them the most comfortable for her.

Kim

unknown said:

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PhillieG said:

Not to run this into the ground
John, you say "Make certain there is -absolutely- no hope left, before committing to death's door; There are always options that haven't been tried, and death should be the very, very last option, because there are no more options after that."

Do you believe that some people may know when it's time to let go? They may have had enough and do not wish to explore every option that may be out there. I do not think that you would want someone to keep on trying this and that if they do not wish to just to so they can try to satisfy someone else's idea of how they should die. That seems like it is just trying to satisfy the living and puts the person whose life it is as just a spectator in their own existence.

I believe some people are more in touch/at peace than others are and know when they have done all they can or want to do and it's time for them to enjoy what time they have left. No one is talking about making someone choose hospice against their will. Some people are ready to go while others are not ready to go. Some people who love and care about the person wish to respect their wishes even if they do not agree with them. Other times I think their own fear of dying gets in the way and they may not be able to understand or accept that someone is choosing to be at peace.

If someone really loves the person, they would respect their wishes no matter how much it may hurt. Like I've said before, I think death is the hardest on those who are left behind.

Death is immanent; being alive is a one-way road.
-phil

greybeard64 said:

touchy subject
Okay, you know me here are my two cents worth. I think, which is probably how most moronic statements on my part start but...I think John is not ripping on Hospice as much as he is trying desperately to keep people fighting. It sounds as if he has seen quite a few friends pass and it hurts. He is just trying to make sure no one gives up before all avenues of a "cure" or at least the a prolonging of life, with quality ahve been exhausted.
Enter all those who have witnessed in their eyes the seemingly endless struggle of a loved one, the pain, the loss of quality in their life. they're friend our loved ones are tired and it is a horrible thing to watch. Seems to me both sides are saying the same thing just from different perspectives so to speak. Fight the good fight, and exhaust all options (john) and from the others, there personal accounts seem to be that this is in fact what they're loved ones have done. For their own personal reasons and and they are similar and yet different in every case just as this disease is, they have reached a place where hospice is right for them. It boils down to each individual having the right to chose, and know one knows better then the person who is making that choice. Each of us have our own agenda when it comes to how we handle this and how we would like the people we care about to handle it, sometimes for our sake, and sometimes for theirs but the only person who is qualified to know when enough is enough is the person who is facing that decision for themselves. everyone who has been DX with this, makes decisions based on a wide variety of variables, and no one can fully understand the hows and whys of that process, except the person who is making them. If we arent making the decision it seems to me that the thing to do is respect their wishes, support them as best we can. And if and when we are faced with this difficult choice, I think it is our hope that those we love will do the same for us. right and wrong is not for us to decide it is for those who have the ultimate decision.
There is no doubt that each of us on here want everyone else to know we support them no matter there decision, after all none of us, although we share similar paths take this journey wearing the same moccasins as our friends.
bless you all
chris

greybeard64 said:

touchy subject
Okay, you know me here are my two cents worth. I think, which is probably how most moronic statements on my part start but...I think John is not ripping on Hospice as much as he is trying desperately to keep people fighting. It sounds as if he has seen quite a few friends pass and it hurts. He is just trying to make sure no one gives up before all avenues of a "cure" or at least the a prolonging of life, with quality ahve been exhausted.
Enter all those who have witnessed in their eyes the seemingly endless struggle of a loved one, the pain, the loss of quality in their life. they're friend our loved ones are tired and it is a horrible thing to watch. Seems to me both sides are saying the same thing just from different perspectives so to speak. Fight the good fight, and exhaust all options (john) and from the others, there personal accounts seem to be that this is in fact what they're loved ones have done. For their own personal reasons and and they are similar and yet different in every case just as this disease is, they have reached a place where hospice is right for them. It boils down to each individual having the right to chose, and know one knows better then the person who is making that choice. Each of us have our own agenda when it comes to how we handle this and how we would like the people we care about to handle it, sometimes for our sake, and sometimes for theirs but the only person who is qualified to know when enough is enough is the person who is facing that decision for themselves. everyone who has been DX with this, makes decisions based on a wide variety of variables, and no one can fully understand the hows and whys of that process, except the person who is making them. If we arent making the decision it seems to me that the thing to do is respect their wishes, support them as best we can. And if and when we are faced with this difficult choice, I think it is our hope that those we love will do the same for us. right and wrong is not for us to decide it is for those who have the ultimate decision.
There is no doubt that each of us on here want everyone else to know we support them no matter there decision, after all none of us, although we share similar paths take this journey wearing the same moccasins as our friends.
bless you all
chris

greybeard64 said:

touchy subject
Okay, you know me here are my two cents worth. I think, which is probably how most moronic statements on my part start but...I think John is not ripping on Hospice as much as he is trying desperately to keep people fighting. It sounds as if he has seen quite a few friends pass and it hurts. He is just trying to make sure no one gives up before all avenues of a "cure" or at least the a prolonging of life, with quality ahve been exhausted.
Enter all those who have witnessed in their eyes the seemingly endless struggle of a loved one, the pain, the loss of quality in their life. they're friend our loved ones are tired and it is a horrible thing to watch. Seems to me both sides are saying the same thing just from different perspectives so to speak. Fight the good fight, and exhaust all options (john) and from the others, there personal accounts seem to be that this is in fact what they're loved ones have done. For their own personal reasons and and they are similar and yet different in every case just as this disease is, they have reached a place where hospice is right for them. It boils down to each individual having the right to chose, and know one knows better then the person who is making that choice. Each of us have our own agenda when it comes to how we handle this and how we would like the people we care about to handle it, sometimes for our sake, and sometimes for theirs but the only person who is qualified to know when enough is enough is the person who is facing that decision for themselves. everyone who has been DX with this, makes decisions based on a wide variety of variables, and no one can fully understand the hows and whys of that process, except the person who is making them. If we arent making the decision it seems to me that the thing to do is respect their wishes, support them as best we can. And if and when we are faced with this difficult choice, I think it is our hope that those we love will do the same for us. right and wrong is not for us to decide it is for those who have the ultimate decision.
There is no doubt that each of us on here want everyone else to know we support them no matter there decision, after all none of us, although we share similar paths take this journey wearing the same moccasins as our friends.
bless you all
chris