You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Geesh
Hugs and kudos to your wife for taking the higher road, its hard to do sometimes. I used to get a kick out of my family and relatives who would start tilting their heads while chatting with me because my wig was off kilter. I finally figured it out and told them to tell me for heavens sake!

I am sure you wife looks beautiful in her wig, it is not important what Mom likes it is important what your wife is comfortable with.

Hugs to both of you!

RE

Egads, mothers
I AM one! I constantly have to remind myself that, just because I made my daughter, I don't own her and cannot say just anything that pops into my mind! I keep biting my lip until it's sore!

Your Donna sounds like a real adult. Love that.

something similar happened to me
i work at a grammar school. because i started chemo a week before christmas, my wig was ordered the day before christmas eve. delivery was delayed because of the holidays. when christmas break was over, i was totally bald so i went to work in hats. i had one that i wasn't overly fond of but wore it one day. one of the school family moms (who is a total pain) walked into the office and said to me, i really don't like that hat you are wearing! i bit my tongue and bided my time. about a week later, i was wearing a scarf that i had done a really good job of doing a trendy looking wrap. who barges in again but the same mom. she again told me that she did not like what was on my head. this time i very calmly said, gee mrs. so and so, did you ever think that maybe i don't like the thing on my head either? cancer is hard enough to deal with, i didn't realize i needed your approval for my head coverings. and then i pulled the scarf off.

it shut her up for about a month.

Mom's
My daugther is my daugher all of my life. My son is my son till he takes a wife. Mom's do say the darnest things. Here's one for you to add to your mom sayings. "If I were to take all of my son-in-laws, put them in a bag and shook them up, I might get one good one." And my sisters and I are all still married to those men, 30 some years later. Geeze

cahjah75 said:

Some people are
Bob, some people are so insensitive. Donna handled it better than I might have.

Kudos to Heidi - it made me laugh!

I worked in a church office for 18 years before retiring with a disability. A co-worker of mine had ovarian cancer and lost her hair from chemo. One Sunday morning in church she wore a really nice straw hat but a woman sitting behind her very loudly said, "why are you wearing that big hat?" And my co-worker took the hat off and said, "are you satisfied?" The woman shut up and didn't say another word. Amen!

Some people are not tactful. Usually the person doesn't know what to say.
Char

Well
All I can think of is this:

" Everyone has a right to be stupid, some people just abuse the privilege. "

Your wife has class for ignoring her. Ignoring someone is the biggest insult.


Hugs, Angie

I know woman like that,
I know woman like that, thankfully not my mom or close relatives, am so grateful they are the total opposit. Donna- what a special soul, how she thought about her Dad's feelings before hers. You are a very lucky man, well you both are very lucky to have each other. But agree, someone will have to bring it up to M-I-L how hurtful she was whether intended or not. that way she will be more careful in the future.

Heidijez- diddo on the kudos..

MNLynn said:

sounds like . . .
my mother-in-law!!! I don't mind when she says stupid things to her own kids, because they usually "fight" back . . . but I don't dare do that . . . even if my husband agrees with me, he would still probably not talk to me if I said something back to his mommy! (this is anonymous, right??? 'cause I'll deny saying this if it gets back to him!)

♥ Lynn ♥

Sounds like something my mom or granny would say
Thats horrible that she said that. We have a hard enough time going through the emotions of losing our hair and we hope that our wig will make us look better and feel better about ourselves. Maybe her mother should be taken to the side to be given a talkin to. Sometimes though, no matter what, people are going to say what ever they want to reguardless of how it might make someone else feel. You just tell your wife yourself everyday how beautiful she is and try to reassure her and keep her head up.

Take care
Laura

ScubaGirl said:

You handled that better than me or than my husband would have!
I would have wanted to respond, "well then, aren't you glad you're not wearing it!". Not sure I can take the high road like you did...good for you.

I would have been stunned
I would have been stunned and prob cried. I am so sensative about my appearance right now.kudos to Donna and Heidi!

lolad said:

Sounds like something my mom or granny would say
Thats horrible that she said that. We have a hard enough time going through the emotions of losing our hair and we hope that our wig will make us look better and feel better about ourselves. Maybe her mother should be taken to the side to be given a talkin to. Sometimes though, no matter what, people are going to say what ever they want to reguardless of how it might make someone else feel. You just tell your wife yourself everyday how beautiful she is and try to reassure her and keep her head up.

Take care
Laura

Like Pink stated .. I know that Woman .. does she
live in Southern California. Family, friends and strangers let the oddest, most hurtful things 'fall' out of their mouth.

I am one who may of said back to my mom .. Oh, I am sorry . .. but I adore it, and maybe if you get struck with bc, then we can see what type of wig you go out and buy for yourself. This may sound harsh .. but I tend to strike back .. it is something that I find works .. well for me. First, Donna may want to try .. stating .. "OUCH, that comment hurt" .. if that does not work .. try being nice, but BLUNT.

Sorry Donna .. don't take it to heart .. Tell Mom ... We are doing the very best we can, and I am happy with my wig .. More importantly ... I am fighting for my life, here - .


Vicki Sam

ms.sunshine said:

I had to stop talking with
I had to stop talking with my mom. She always finds the most messed up things to say. Listening to her would cause emotional distress that would just zap my strength. I got to the point where I couldn't deal with her cruel remarks.
Before surgery I told my mom I was nervous and upset that the dr would be cutting me, hacking me up. I'll have a chest full of scars. She replies, " I wasn't aware that you made a living showing off your breasts." What!, " well it's not like you are showing them off, no one will see them." Well their my damn boobs!!

Good luck with your mil you may have to run interference

It has been a while since
It has been a while since you posted that incredibly insensitive Mom response. My Mom will never see this, but she was weird also. Health comes first, of course. She did show some concern about my breast. Dad is always on the phone with her (like parents from a Seinfeld episode). She just didn't want me to go thru unnecessary stuff. Hate to say that "Mom was right". She was. Reconstruction has been tough. But, I'm 44. Small-breasted. I will eventually have breasts that are even and look o.k. But, being alive is also a positive for me. Trying to keep perky? Patty C.