The Pad Diaries
Comments
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Depends, pads and life before PCTrew said:It All Depends
Diary Entry for Tuesday, July 6, 2010
It is becoming apparent to me that others are reading my diary.
After crash and burn Saturday with ten pads, Sunday and Mon and today have settled down a bit. I am now on my 7th pad and should wear my 8th to bed- same for 3 days now. I am usually dry in the night but I get up now from 1 (rare) to 2- 5 times a night to urinate. If I shake off an urge and just go back to sleep I will most likely wet in my sleep. so the depends is my security blanket. I liked the old one when I was 2 much better.
I am a Tena man, myself. Just saying that almost makes me cry. i just give God thanks this didn't happen to me in grade school- those kids could be rough.
When I am going to have a stressful appointment I will wear a depends with a Tena pad inside. that way I have some added protection just in case urine gets past the Tena. that does happen sometimes. Most embarassing. And changing a Depends in a public rest room is also embarassing so I prefer reg underpants with the Tena inside and just carry a lot of extras with me. I have Tenas in my pockets, glove compartment in the car, my brief case, coat pocket, you get the idea. I am a haunted man wo sees and hears nothing but leaks where there shouldn't be any leaks.
I have tried a number of different pads- I just like the feel of the tena best. Its almost like being in plain underwear again which I have not done since surgery on March 23, 2009. My that was a lifetime ago.
There are times I just hate bringing this stuff up, especially when I htink of life before PC. How I miss that life. Well, that is all I can write for now. I am having an emotional minute.
I use the Depends and 30 pack Poise pads myself, have not tried the Tena pads. Are the Tena pads ultimate absorbency? Like you I wear the Depends for those oops! times when you fill the pad and leak onto the sides of the diaper. I have been fortunate last few months and wear the 72 pack Certainty pads which are less absorbent overnight with a Depends diaper just in case. I do get up 1-2 times during the night and pee.
I still long for the time when I can at least use only a pad with my briefs and will really be happy when I don't need any protection. But when I think of my life before PC I have to remind myself that at least I am ALIVE and my PSA remains .008 when I yearn for the pre PC days. Let's hope for an end to the incontinence someday. Maybe some brilliant urologist will come up with a better procedure that will not have the side effect of incontinence.0 -
Another Crash and Burn DayJR1949 said:Depends, pads and life before PC
I use the Depends and 30 pack Poise pads myself, have not tried the Tena pads. Are the Tena pads ultimate absorbency? Like you I wear the Depends for those oops! times when you fill the pad and leak onto the sides of the diaper. I have been fortunate last few months and wear the 72 pack Certainty pads which are less absorbent overnight with a Depends diaper just in case. I do get up 1-2 times during the night and pee.
I still long for the time when I can at least use only a pad with my briefs and will really be happy when I don't need any protection. But when I think of my life before PC I have to remind myself that at least I am ALIVE and my PSA remains .008 when I yearn for the pre PC days. Let's hope for an end to the incontinence someday. Maybe some brilliant urologist will come up with a better procedure that will not have the side effect of incontinence.
I am on my 10th pad of the day.
Anytime I get past 7 pads I start going down. I see the uro in the morning. This has got to stop. We need to set a date for the AUS. per-PC is NEVER, NEVER coming back.
I took my xanax, I"ll be better in the morning. But for now its just crash and burn, again...0 -
Another Crash and Burn DayJR1949 said:Depends, pads and life before PC
I use the Depends and 30 pack Poise pads myself, have not tried the Tena pads. Are the Tena pads ultimate absorbency? Like you I wear the Depends for those oops! times when you fill the pad and leak onto the sides of the diaper. I have been fortunate last few months and wear the 72 pack Certainty pads which are less absorbent overnight with a Depends diaper just in case. I do get up 1-2 times during the night and pee.
I still long for the time when I can at least use only a pad with my briefs and will really be happy when I don't need any protection. But when I think of my life before PC I have to remind myself that at least I am ALIVE and my PSA remains .008 when I yearn for the pre PC days. Let's hope for an end to the incontinence someday. Maybe some brilliant urologist will come up with a better procedure that will not have the side effect of incontinence.
I am on my 10th pad of the day.
Anytime I get past 7 pads I start going down. I see the uro in the morning. This has got to stop. We need to set a date for the AUS. pre-PC is NEVER, NEVER coming back.
I took my xanax, I"ll be better in the morning. But for now its just crash and burn, again...0 -
I really hope yourTrew said:Another Crash and Burn Day
I am on my 10th pad of the day.
Anytime I get past 7 pads I start going down. I see the uro in the morning. This has got to stop. We need to set a date for the AUS. pre-PC is NEVER, NEVER coming back.
I took my xanax, I"ll be better in the morning. But for now its just crash and burn, again...
I really hope your appointment today turns up some results and a decision for your AUS. You have suffered long enough. Somehow I have a feeling that you will get what you want today. Keep on keepin on and let us know how today goes.
Ed0 -
Ejn, thank-you. there are soejn said:I really hope your
I really hope your appointment today turns up some results and a decision for your AUS. You have suffered long enough. Somehow I have a feeling that you will get what you want today. Keep on keepin on and let us know how today goes.
Ed
Ejn, thank-you. there are so many compasionate people on this site.
And I did get sort of an answer today- I got a referral to the UofMich for an eval. I can hardly wait.....0 -
New word for today: Urethrotomy
Friday, July 9, 2010.
Uro visit this morning has introduced a new term to my ever growing medical vocabulary.
The word for today is "Urethrotomy." I am getting a referral to the U of Michigan for an eval and possible Urethrotomy. More waiting.
Even if the self cath hurts- keep doing it on schedule as directed. Ouch.
The entire visit: about 15 min. And I kept my clothes on for this one.
Joke for today: Did you hear about the doctor who decided to go into kidnapping but had to give it up because no one could read his ransom notes? That was my joke. I am not going to repeat his.
So life after PC once again takes another turn. More strangers to be naked in front of coming in the future. I hope UofM can get me in soon. I am getting so tired of this.0 -
New Word and Joke for the dayTrew said:New word for today: Urethrotomy
Friday, July 9, 2010.
Uro visit this morning has introduced a new term to my ever growing medical vocabulary.
The word for today is "Urethrotomy." I am getting a referral to the U of Michigan for an eval and possible Urethrotomy. More waiting.
Even if the self cath hurts- keep doing it on schedule as directed. Ouch.
The entire visit: about 15 min. And I kept my clothes on for this one.
Joke for today: Did you hear about the doctor who decided to go into kidnapping but had to give it up because no one could read his ransom notes? That was my joke. I am not going to repeat his.
So life after PC once again takes another turn. More strangers to be naked in front of coming in the future. I hope UofM can get me in soon. I am getting so tired of this.
Trew, Thanks for the new word, must have something to do with the uretha (ya think).
I like your joke :-), that's a good one because it's so true, NO one can read a doctor's writing.
Hang in there, let's hope UofM can take care of your problem.
May you
have warm words on a cold evening,
a full moon on a dark night,
and the road downhill all the way to your door. (author unknown)
JR0 -
urethotomyTrew said:New word for today: Urethrotomy
Friday, July 9, 2010.
Uro visit this morning has introduced a new term to my ever growing medical vocabulary.
The word for today is "Urethrotomy." I am getting a referral to the U of Michigan for an eval and possible Urethrotomy. More waiting.
Even if the self cath hurts- keep doing it on schedule as directed. Ouch.
The entire visit: about 15 min. And I kept my clothes on for this one.
Joke for today: Did you hear about the doctor who decided to go into kidnapping but had to give it up because no one could read his ransom notes? That was my joke. I am not going to repeat his.
So life after PC once again takes another turn. More strangers to be naked in front of coming in the future. I hope UofM can get me in soon. I am getting so tired of this.
I feel your pain about self-cath. Yeah, literally. I wasn't willing to put up with it during the 5 weeks I was on plumbing because I _couldn't _ pee on my own, so I traipsed 3 blocks to the med center for a trial--and traipsed back to see what I could do--and traipsed back again to get re-plumbed for another week. But the upside of this was that the plumbing visits became jolly social events of the most bizarre kind: here I am reclining on the table with my pants off, trading bons mots with the 2 young women charged with pulling things out of me and shoving things in to me. The result: I don't care any more about appearing nekkid in front of whomever. Proof: subsequent knee surgery. "Here, put these shorts on; we need to look at your knee." They evidently got them from the Pacific NW Ballet tutu wardrobe. I refused. Undies or nothing, but not the tutu. But seriously, Trew, I'm still in your corner, hopping up and down with thumbs up. John in Seattle0 -
urethotomyTrew said:New word for today: Urethrotomy
Friday, July 9, 2010.
Uro visit this morning has introduced a new term to my ever growing medical vocabulary.
The word for today is "Urethrotomy." I am getting a referral to the U of Michigan for an eval and possible Urethrotomy. More waiting.
Even if the self cath hurts- keep doing it on schedule as directed. Ouch.
The entire visit: about 15 min. And I kept my clothes on for this one.
Joke for today: Did you hear about the doctor who decided to go into kidnapping but had to give it up because no one could read his ransom notes? That was my joke. I am not going to repeat his.
So life after PC once again takes another turn. More strangers to be naked in front of coming in the future. I hope UofM can get me in soon. I am getting so tired of this.
I feel your pain about self-cath. Yeah, literally. I wasn't willing to put up with it during the 5 weeks I was on plumbing because I _couldn't _ pee on my own, so I traipsed 3 blocks to the med center for a trial--and traipsed back to see what I could do--and traipsed back again to get re-plumbed for another week. But the upside of this was that the plumbing visits became jolly social events of the most bizarre kind: here I am reclining on the table with my pants off, trading bons mots with the 2 young women charged with pulling things out of me and shoving things in to me. The result: I don't care any more about appearing nekkid in front of whomever. Proof: subsequent knee surgery. "Here, put these shorts on; we need to look at your knee." They evidently got them from the Pacific NW Ballet tutu wardrobe. I refused. Undies or nothing, but not the tutu. But seriously, Trew, I'm still in your corner, hopping up and down with thumbs up. John in Seattle0 -
Sunday, July 11, 2010- The Struggle continues
Sunday Afternoon, July 11, 2010
Looking back at Friday, uro visit in the morning, Electical stimulation at the CC in the afternoon.
Uro visit. I stressed to the doc I was getting worn done by this constant dripping. that it is beginning to impact my life in negative ways.
That the the self cath was still a long ways to go and I am interested in a faster track to a solution. Then he suggested, 1. Maybe I need professional counseling if I am getting discouraged; 2. That the self cath has a good probability that it will not be a lasting solution and that, if I wanted a faster solution that was more lasting, he is going to refer me to UofMich medical center.
I wonder if any uro has any idea what its like to be3 on the anti-hormone shot- how he messes with one's emotions and life? Why do they seem surprised when a patie3nt doesn't react like a pateint does who gets a shot of penicilin? I am still on the emotional roller coaster from the shot- the leaking is not easy to deal with.
The CC center was great. I am not making much progress there, if any. We just talked. for about 35 min- no charge. then I went home. I am getting drained by this whole process. I just want the stricture fixed and then get on to the AUS.
So this week I am waiting for the call from Ann Arbor. And I need to find ways to cope with a situation no man was ever meant to cope with. I do hope this whole process can happen sooner than later. Please...............0 -
They will call this week,Trew said:Sunday, July 11, 2010- The Struggle continues
Sunday Afternoon, July 11, 2010
Looking back at Friday, uro visit in the morning, Electical stimulation at the CC in the afternoon.
Uro visit. I stressed to the doc I was getting worn done by this constant dripping. that it is beginning to impact my life in negative ways.
That the the self cath was still a long ways to go and I am interested in a faster track to a solution. Then he suggested, 1. Maybe I need professional counseling if I am getting discouraged; 2. That the self cath has a good probability that it will not be a lasting solution and that, if I wanted a faster solution that was more lasting, he is going to refer me to UofMich medical center.
I wonder if any uro has any idea what its like to be3 on the anti-hormone shot- how he messes with one's emotions and life? Why do they seem surprised when a patie3nt doesn't react like a pateint does who gets a shot of penicilin? I am still on the emotional roller coaster from the shot- the leaking is not easy to deal with.
The CC center was great. I am not making much progress there, if any. We just talked. for about 35 min- no charge. then I went home. I am getting drained by this whole process. I just want the stricture fixed and then get on to the AUS.
So this week I am waiting for the call from Ann Arbor. And I need to find ways to cope with a situation no man was ever meant to cope with. I do hope this whole process can happen sooner than later. Please...............
They will call this week, and if Friday gets here with no call maybe there is a way you can contact them. I dont do waiting very well either. I truley feel for you, but I have a feeling this is going to be your week. Good luck,
Ed0 -
Feel Your PainTrew said:Sunday, July 11, 2010- The Struggle continues
Sunday Afternoon, July 11, 2010
Looking back at Friday, uro visit in the morning, Electical stimulation at the CC in the afternoon.
Uro visit. I stressed to the doc I was getting worn done by this constant dripping. that it is beginning to impact my life in negative ways.
That the the self cath was still a long ways to go and I am interested in a faster track to a solution. Then he suggested, 1. Maybe I need professional counseling if I am getting discouraged; 2. That the self cath has a good probability that it will not be a lasting solution and that, if I wanted a faster solution that was more lasting, he is going to refer me to UofMich medical center.
I wonder if any uro has any idea what its like to be3 on the anti-hormone shot- how he messes with one's emotions and life? Why do they seem surprised when a patie3nt doesn't react like a pateint does who gets a shot of penicilin? I am still on the emotional roller coaster from the shot- the leaking is not easy to deal with.
The CC center was great. I am not making much progress there, if any. We just talked. for about 35 min- no charge. then I went home. I am getting drained by this whole process. I just want the stricture fixed and then get on to the AUS.
So this week I am waiting for the call from Ann Arbor. And I need to find ways to cope with a situation no man was ever meant to cope with. I do hope this whole process can happen sooner than later. Please...............
Trew, for what it's worth, I feel your pain. I understand that you feel discouraged and I wish I could help you by just waving a magic wand or something. My incontinence pales when compared to what you have and I understand your frustration. Just don't let this get the best of you. Medical Science is always coming up with new meds and procedures.
I believe that Ann Arbor will be calling you this week and I pray for you that they will find a solution to your incontinence problem.
Just keep on keepin' on and roll those dark clouds away :-).
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
JR0 -
JR, I hope you are right butJR1949 said:Feel Your Pain
Trew, for what it's worth, I feel your pain. I understand that you feel discouraged and I wish I could help you by just waving a magic wand or something. My incontinence pales when compared to what you have and I understand your frustration. Just don't let this get the best of you. Medical Science is always coming up with new meds and procedures.
I believe that Ann Arbor will be calling you this week and I pray for you that they will find a solution to your incontinence problem.
Just keep on keepin' on and roll those dark clouds away :-).
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
JR
JR, I hope you are right but no call today- this is only Monday. I'll call my uro's office tomorrow to see if the referral has been made yet.0 -
Sometimes Doctors Offices Are Like The GovernmentTrew said:JR, I hope you are right but
JR, I hope you are right but no call today- this is only Monday. I'll call my uro's office tomorrow to see if the referral has been made yet.
Trew, sometimes doctors offices are like the government, sometimes they do not get in a hurry responding. Another example are the GS workers on military bases. When I was in the Navy in Guam it seemed that the GS workers really did not care or try to help you.
Good luck.
JR0 -
Ann Arbor UM is a Go!
The call from UM came this afternoon- my wife took it. Someone dropped an appointment and I got moved into it- I was rated an ASAP by the doctors. But the ASAP date is not until Aug 30. Still, I have a date and something to pin my hopes on now.
So, I am now six weeks out......
I will soon get to be naked in front of more strange people. :-)0 -
That's Great!!!!!!Trew said:Ann Arbor UM is a Go!
The call from UM came this afternoon- my wife took it. Someone dropped an appointment and I got moved into it- I was rated an ASAP by the doctors. But the ASAP date is not until Aug 30. Still, I have a date and something to pin my hopes on now.
So, I am now six weeks out......
I will soon get to be naked in front of more strange people. :-)
I knew it. I had a feeling it would happen for you. I have read almost all of your post and have followed this one closely. Very happy for you and I am sure you celebrating the news. You deserve it.0 -
ejn, keep pulling for me andejn said:That's Great!!!!!!
I knew it. I had a feeling it would happen for you. I have read almost all of your post and have followed this one closely. Very happy for you and I am sure you celebrating the news. You deserve it.
ejn, keep pulling for me and maybe I can get the Aug 30 date moved up a few weeks.0 -
This is the doctor I'll be SeeingTrew said:Ann Arbor UM is a Go!
The call from UM came this afternoon- my wife took it. Someone dropped an appointment and I got moved into it- I was rated an ASAP by the doctors. But the ASAP date is not until Aug 30. Still, I have a date and something to pin my hopes on now.
So, I am now six weeks out......
I will soon get to be naked in front of more strange people. :-)
this is who I have my appointment on Aug 30 with:
http://www2.med.umich.edu/healthcenters/provider_profile.cfm?individual_id=110473
Her specialty is exactly what I need.
I can hardly wait.
That is pretty true. Mostly, anyway.0 -
Trew, Im going on vacationTrew said:This is the doctor I'll be Seeing
this is who I have my appointment on Aug 30 with:
http://www2.med.umich.edu/healthcenters/provider_profile.cfm?individual_id=110473
Her specialty is exactly what I need.
I can hardly wait.
That is pretty true. Mostly, anyway.
Trew, Im going on vacation starting tonight as directed by my doctor (really my wife)and I will checking in on this thread. I know there will be some positive reports you because thing appear to be starting to go your way. This next appointment is exactly what you need and I hope everything works out great for you. You have had more than your share of suffering and it is your turn now to enjoy some good results. Keep up the humor, sometimes it can be the only medicine that works.
Ed0 -
The Gap Widens
July 18, 2010
I can go all day long with no urge to urinate. Only at night when I am laying do do i get an urge that wakes me up 1- 6 times a night. 4- 5 is about average.
Sunday afternoon.
I am moving closer to my Ann Arbor/UM appointment. I have a sense again that my life is agian changing, moving me furthr and further from my pre-cancer days.
Today for the first time I reseached penile implants- what they look like, type of devises available and acutal video of what the effects of one inside a man.
I think I am on my way to another crash and burn evening. I am not handling all the changes that have come since a simple PSA test in late November or 2008.
I think I am just going to go take a Xanax and go to my room and see if I can sleep this off.
Before surgery everything worked so well. Its enough to make a grown man cry.0
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