Lost my Dad June 21st

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rrogers34
rrogers34 Member Posts: 135
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have not been on here to post for quite sometime. I have been able to read posts once in awhile. I lost my Dad last Monday the day after Father's Day. He went from doing better to loosing him within about 10 hours. They originally thought he has until around July 15th, but he only lasted about a week. There was no indication that he was declining and I CERTAINTLY DID NOT EXPECT TO LOOSE HIM SO SOON. I miss him dearly, we were always very close. This past year has been quite the battle. I was diagnosed with BC at the end of November and my Dad took a turn for the worse the week before Christmas. He spent most of his time in a chair. He stayed about the same and then Hospice was called in about 2 months ago. Dad never thought he needed hospice, but my Mom needed some help. No one ever said, he was terminal. However, Beginning in April my schedule has pretty much been, Treatment, work and going to my parents. I am still going through radiation and am about at the half way mark. I have eating really bad due to all that has been going on. In the midst of all of this, actually the day of My Dad's viewing I find out my Husband has been writting love letters to another woman and was barred from going to where she works while she is working. If it were not for my faith in Christ, I hate to think where I would be today. You all have been on my heart and in my prayers and hopefully I will be able to be on here more. What my Dad had, if he had it today he would take antibiotics. Because what he had happened in the late 50's he had a lung removed, and a blood transfusion that infected him with Hep C which caused cirrosis of the liver (he never drank alcohol), which ulimately took his life.
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  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #2
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    So sorry
    Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. You have my deepest sympathy at the loss of your Father.

    As if you didn't have enough on your plate, you had more added to it. There is no rhyme or reason as to why this all happens to us, but, it does. You seem to have more than your share though rrogers, and for that, I am truly sorry.

    And, I am so sorry to read what your husband is doing. Unbelievable......

    Your faith in Christ is strong and he will lead you out of the darkness. I don't know what I would do without my faith in God. We just have to trust in him.


    I wish you all the best rrogers and am sending prayers to you and big cyber hugs!

    And once again, I am sorry about the news of your Father. Please take care of yourself!


    Sue :)
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #3
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    HANG ON.........
    I am so terribly sorry about the loss of your father......truly sorry....it's so hard to lose a parent, often they are the only ones who love us unconditionally......I lost my dad when I was 19....still miss him...You have really had more on your plate than most...Hard enough to battle bc without losing your dad and then discovering your husband writing love letters....hang on to your faith....when things look the darkest, God will shine a light..

    Again, I am so sorry.....
    Peace be with you
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    #4
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    Hugs to you as you go thru
    Hugs to you as you go thru this mourning of the loss of your father. Seems when it rains it pours, but like you said, you have faith in Christ, and that faith will certainly get you thru whatever happens. I keep telling myself God didnt bring me this far to abandon me. I recall you saying there were problems with your husband. I'm so sorry you are going thru all of this. We put our faith in God not man. I'll be praying for you. ((((Hugs)))
  • Balentine
    Balentine Member Posts: 393
    #5
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    Ritzy said:

    So sorry
    Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. You have my deepest sympathy at the loss of your Father.

    As if you didn't have enough on your plate, you had more added to it. There is no rhyme or reason as to why this all happens to us, but, it does. You seem to have more than your share though rrogers, and for that, I am truly sorry.

    And, I am so sorry to read what your husband is doing. Unbelievable......

    Your faith in Christ is strong and he will lead you out of the darkness. I don't know what I would do without my faith in God. We just have to trust in him.


    I wish you all the best rrogers and am sending prayers to you and big cyber hugs!

    And once again, I am sorry about the news of your Father. Please take care of yourself!


    Sue :)

    Ditto to Ritzy's response
    Dear Rrogers,
    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father and I know nothing can ease that pain other than your faith in God (which is evident that you do) and time. When I lost my mother in 1997 it took me about a year to get past it. I would cry at the drop of a hat for no particular reason. I would see a woman my moms age at a restaurant and just start crying. We have to grieve though so know that this will be normal...you have to expell all of those emotions to get better.

    Also, having to deal with an unfaithful husband especially going through cancer is one of the hardest things to take. When you need them the most, they are just not there for you and worse....betraying you. I know the feeling....like you, my faith gets me through each and every day...one day at a time (as they say)...it is true....God gives you enough grace for each day and His mercies are new EVERY morning. Keep your eyes on Him my friend because there are no guarantees in this life but with Christ we have His guarantee living within us....His Holy Spirit who teaches us, sustains us, intercedes for us with groanings which cannot be uttered when we are too weak to pray for ourselves and who will carry us home to be with Him once this life is over. Receive the peace and comfort of God which passes all understanding. Love and hugs,
    Lorrie
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #6
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    I am so sorry for the loss
    I am so sorry for the loss of your father. My Dad and I were very close and in August it will be five years that I lost him to lung cancer and not a day goes by that I don't think of him.
    God bless and keep you in his prayers.
    Wanda
  • MNLynn
    MNLynn Member Posts: 224
    #7
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    in my thoughts & prayers
    Please know that you are in my thoughts & prayers . . . so much going on for you - sending hugs & hope they help you know that you are not alone.
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
    #8
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    I am so sorry for your loss
    I am so sorry for your loss and all that you are going through. I am glad you have Jesus with you through all this. Where would we be without Jesus Christ holding onto us. I lost my Dad 15 yrs. ago I too was very close to my Daddy. I still miss him but as others have said you will get through this too, one day at a time. I have been through this BC without a husband to rely on too, I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. I will be praying for that same strength for you. I know I could never have done this witout Jesus with me. God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Pro. 3:5-6
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #9
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    Boppy_of_6 said:

    I am so sorry for your loss
    I am so sorry for your loss and all that you are going through. I am glad you have Jesus with you through all this. Where would we be without Jesus Christ holding onto us. I lost my Dad 15 yrs. ago I too was very close to my Daddy. I still miss him but as others have said you will get through this too, one day at a time. I have been through this BC without a husband to rely on too, I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. I will be praying for that same strength for you. I know I could never have done this witout Jesus with me. God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Pro. 3:5-6

    I am so sorry for this loss.
    I am so sorry for this loss. Losing our parents, I think, is something we are never prepared for. They have always been there for us and when they are gone, we have such a hole in our heart. But, know that your Father is with God now and feeling no pain and healthy once again.

    I can't imagine when that time comes in my family. :(

    So sorry about your husband. Didn't you have trouble with him before? I thought I remembered that. Try not to concern yourself with his problems and just take good care of yourself. You are number one now!

    Sending you prayers and hugs!


    Leeza
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #10
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    my heart is breaking for you
    i am so sorry for your loss of your father, i miss mine every single day. you have been hit hard, but know that your faith will help you through this. i know that my faith is what has helped me in this cancer journey.

    lots of hugs and prayers being sent to you and your mother.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #11
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    jnl said:

    I am so sorry for this loss.
    I am so sorry for this loss. Losing our parents, I think, is something we are never prepared for. They have always been there for us and when they are gone, we have such a hole in our heart. But, know that your Father is with God now and feeling no pain and healthy once again.

    I can't imagine when that time comes in my family. :(

    So sorry about your husband. Didn't you have trouble with him before? I thought I remembered that. Try not to concern yourself with his problems and just take good care of yourself. You are number one now!

    Sending you prayers and hugs!


    Leeza

    so sorry about your dad, its
    so sorry about your dad, its so hard esp with what you are going through Hugs
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #12
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    My Condolences
    I am deeply sorry for your loss, he will always be with you in memories of all the time spent together and in your daily walk as he surely had an impact on you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    RE
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #13
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    RE said:

    My Condolences
    I am deeply sorry for your loss, he will always be with you in memories of all the time spent together and in your daily walk as he surely had an impact on you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    RE

    I am truly sorry.............
    I offer you my deepest sympathy for the loss of your Father.

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #14
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    Becky
    I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your father. It sounds like he was a very special man in your life and I'm sure you will miss him. Know that he will always be in your heart and his love for you will never go away.

    I'm also sorry to hear that you had to learn these things about your husband at such a difficult time. I know you had been trying to work things out with him, but it looks like he is not committed to your marriage. My heart goes out to you, and I want to send my arms to hold you and give you even more strength than you have already shown to get through this time in your life. As sad as it is to learn about his betrayal, things might actually be easier for you being on your own. Sometimes a difficult relationship is worse than no relationship at all and we just need to learn to rely on ourselves and find the strength we never knew we had.

    It will get better, and we are here any time you need us to help you.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #15
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    natly15 said:

    Hugs to you as you go thru
    Hugs to you as you go thru this mourning of the loss of your father. Seems when it rains it pours, but like you said, you have faith in Christ, and that faith will certainly get you thru whatever happens. I keep telling myself God didnt bring me this far to abandon me. I recall you saying there were problems with your husband. I'm so sorry you are going thru all of this. We put our faith in God not man. I'll be praying for you. ((((Hugs)))

    I am so sorry. My deepest
    I am so sorry. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #16
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    MAJW said:

    HANG ON.........
    I am so terribly sorry about the loss of your father......truly sorry....it's so hard to lose a parent, often they are the only ones who love us unconditionally......I lost my dad when I was 19....still miss him...You have really had more on your plate than most...Hard enough to battle bc without losing your dad and then discovering your husband writing love letters....hang on to your faith....when things look the darkest, God will shine a light..

    Again, I am so sorry.....
    Peace be with you

    I am truly sorry........

    I am truly sorry........
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #17
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    cindycflynn said:

    Becky
    I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your father. It sounds like he was a very special man in your life and I'm sure you will miss him. Know that he will always be in your heart and his love for you will never go away.

    I'm also sorry to hear that you had to learn these things about your husband at such a difficult time. I know you had been trying to work things out with him, but it looks like he is not committed to your marriage. My heart goes out to you, and I want to send my arms to hold you and give you even more strength than you have already shown to get through this time in your life. As sad as it is to learn about his betrayal, things might actually be easier for you being on your own. Sometimes a difficult relationship is worse than no relationship at all and we just need to learn to rely on ourselves and find the strength we never knew we had.

    It will get better, and we are here any time you need us to help you.

    Take care,
    Cindy

    rrogers
    I am so sorry to hear that your dad passed away. Hang in there take care of yourself while you finish your treatments. I won't say anything ugly about your husband I'll just say the best to you.
    1 big hug 2 u
    Jennifer
  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175
    #18
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    ms.sunshine said:

    rrogers
    I am so sorry to hear that your dad passed away. Hang in there take care of yourself while you finish your treatments. I won't say anything ugly about your husband I'll just say the best to you.
    1 big hug 2 u
    Jennifer

    rrogers,
    sorry to hear about
    rrogers,
    sorry to hear about your dad and all your trials but keep your faith...it can only go up hill from here.
    I agree with ms. sunshine i wont say anything about your husband either cuz it wouldnt be nice.
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #19
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    I'm sorry for your loss.
    What a blessing it was to have such a close relationship with your father. And yes, Christ is walking with you through it all. Praise God that He promised to never leave us. I know you find you're strength in Him and HE will NEVER disappoint you.

    Covering you in prayer,

    Sylvia
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #20
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    Sorry for you loss
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Hugs
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #21
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    Oh sweet sister! The agony
    Oh sweet sister! The agony in your heart was so apparent in your words. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to put everything "on paper" and post it. I am glad only for one thing; that you felt that this is your safe place to land, and you knew that this would be the place to get the cyber hugs and support and understanding you need.

    So many of us have lost our fathers, myself included and the void is never quite filled. Our fathers have such a profound influence on our lives, and you were one of the fortunate ones to have a close, meaningful and good relationship with him. It will hold you up during the difficult days, just knowing you are his daughter.

    Your husband....I will reserve comment about that. It is such a painful betrayal; one that defies understanding. I hope you find a peaceful place to be~physically and emotionally. I am sorry your grief has been compounded by this.

    Hold your head high, relish the life lessons your father taught you, and the woman he helped you to become.


    Hugs and condolences,

    Chen♥

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