Waiting, Wigs, and a new tattoo

I'm playing the waiting game now -waiting for a surgery date. I'll be having a double mastectomy with expanders put in for reconstruction. Hoping the doctors can find a time soon to get together and fix me up. I feel like I'm in limbo right now. I just want to have my surgery, get my boobs back (well, not my originals, but my new & improved boobs), and get the chemo done and over with. I don't know if I'm just too vain or what, but the idea of losing my hair, and having my kids seeing me look sick, is worse than the surgery part to me. Which leads me to my wig experience yesterday.... My husband and I took our girls to a local non-profit cancer agency yesterday. They have a wig/hat/scarf boutique there and I could pick out a few things for free - one of my great "perks" I get because I don't have health insurance (just a tiny bit of sarcasm there). It's really a great place & the women there are wonderful. So I take my seat at the vanity, and they give me one of those nylon pantyhose-looking wig caps to put on, and I immediately start laughing. I felt ridiculous. The laughing helped me break the ice though, and made the whole process a little less painful for me. I wasn't very optimistic about finding anything at all, I didn't think I'd be able to find something that actually improved my appearance and looked somewhat natural. But boy did we have fun with it. After a while I was trying on the most ghastly wigs we could find, putting giant long wigs on my 19 month old baby & watching her prance around in them, I SO WISH that I would have brought my camera along! In the end, I did end up finding a very cute short dark brown bob wig with bangs (think Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction) - very retro & suits my style & personality. I also got a cute headwrap/headband with attached hair in back that actually looks just like the wig, only with a headband instead of bangs, in case I want to live dangerously and change it up a bit. I also got a cute white cap, which is almost too trendy for me but I think I can make it work, a blue and white tie-dyed turban to keep my head warm when it gets colder out, and this wacky bright pink fluffy stocking cap. The highlight of my week though, was getting my new tattoo 5 days ago. I've always wanted one on the inside of my wrist, but cound never pinpoint exactly what I wanted there (i have now 10 tattoos and am very serious and picky about them-it's like I'm my own little art gallery). So I emailed my tattoo artist friend, asked him to draw me up a lotus flower for the inside of my wrist. It's about the size of a silver dollar, maybe a little bit bigger. It's got pretty pinks and purple-ish leaves, and he put the number "10" in the middle, with like a sunburst coming out from behind it. I had him add the 10 because, this year was supposed to be the "year of the Heather" - my birthday is october 10th, so it will be on 10-10-10 this year. And get this - I was born at 10:09 in the morning. So now I have this pretty little reminder on my wrist, the lotus flower to remind me to stay calm and remember to relax and do my yoga breathing if need be, and the 10 to not let me forget how cool I am