Do you ever have just one of those days?
Lately ive been over whelmed with having so many doctors appointments and tests and on and on and on....does it ever end?
Plus im worried about a couple of tests...the bone density scan that i just had monday, they said they would have the results by weds/thurs, yet my doctors are calling each other and talking but nobody is telling me anything yet....thats usually not a good sign.
Plus im a little worried about a large mass they found behind my breastbone and they want to do a biopsy on it but are deciding if it can wait till after my implant surgery on the 14th, and also i have to get an echocardiogram done cuz they think now something might be wrong with my heart from the chemo. Also im in the middle of changing oncologist so i dont have the guidance i need for that with everything going on.
ITs not often that i let this get to me, i usually have a good attitude and just take what ever comes my way and yes even try to find humor in it all...but right now i just feel like curling up in a ball and just cry.
Sorry for being such a downer but thanks for letting me vent!
Comments
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I'm sorry all this is happening.
You're not being a downer. This is enough to get even the most optimistic frustrated. I feel your pain in all this.
I'll pray God gives you comfort and peace always but especially during times like these. I have this book someone gave me during my diagnosis and treatment and I ran across this beautiful poem:
I don't look back ~ God knows the fruitless efforts,
The wasted hours, the sinning, the regrets;
I leave them all with Him Who blots the record
And mercifully forgives and then forgets.
I don't look forward ~ God sees the future,
The road that, short or long, will lead me home;
And He will face with me its every trial
And bear for me the burdens that may come.
I don't look around me ~ then would fears assail me,
So wild the tumult of earth's restless seas,
So dark the world, so filled with woe and evil,
So vain the hope of comfort or ease.
I don't look in ~ for then am I most wretched;
Myself has naught on which to stay my trust.
Nothing I see save failures and short-comings
And weak endeavors crumbling into dust.
But--I look up ~ into the face of Jesus,
For there my heart can rest, my fears are stilled;
And there is joy and love and light for darkness
And perfect peace, and every hope fulfilled.
Blessings and peace,
Sylvia0 -
"Care for a little stress
"Care for a little stress with that coffee, ma'am?" jo jo, you have been strong through quite a lot. Just know that the waiting gets to all of us at some point during this journey. And I bet we've all cried at some point. It DOES get better. This is a great place to vent. We're right with you. <<hugs>> xoxoxo Lynn0 -
hang in there JoJo
I am sorry you are in the 'overwhelmed' state....I recognize that! This journey is long and mysterious at times, and very hard to keep positive at times. We want to be in control, but in reality we are not. The test results will come, what is...is....and you can deal with anything as you have. The waiting always is hard, but I know you are strong and can get through this. It seems nonending at times....but you are on the road and traveling in the right direction. My thoughts are with you for strength and encouragement.0 -
Yes, I have had one of thosecavediver said:hang in there JoJo
I am sorry you are in the 'overwhelmed' state....I recognize that! This journey is long and mysterious at times, and very hard to keep positive at times. We want to be in control, but in reality we are not. The test results will come, what is...is....and you can deal with anything as you have. The waiting always is hard, but I know you are strong and can get through this. It seems nonending at times....but you are on the road and traveling in the right direction. My thoughts are with you for strength and encouragement.
Yes, I have had one of those days. And it seems that every day is one of those days. I saw that you were here at 1am, so you are having sleepless nights, it is hard to find someone outside of here that can understand what you are going through. I have recently had a reoccurance, so I am going through all this again and again and it does not get any easier. It always makes me feel better to come here and vent.0 -
Yes there are bad days
Many of them. It will get better. I've been through treatment, except for the Zometa, but I feel very good. I have bone met in my hip, so they think. They are treating the spot as if it is. I don't have the fear and worry like I did. I asked my surgeon if it will "come back", he said yes, but it may take 120 years. In other words, don't worry about it. It will get better. I'm so happy, I'm starting to get "bed-head" again. Hair is slowly coming back. Good luck, you will feel better.0 -
JoJo
Without a doubt it can be overwhelming some days and it often seems like everything piles up together. I'm very sorry that you are having to go through this and so worried. I don't think the bone density test is diagnostic for anything other than osteoporosis so if something showed up, they may just be trying to decide how to best treat it (especially since those same drugs are now coming to the forefront as having some positive attributes in preventing cancer and recurrences). You good attitude and humor always show on your posts but you can't expect that this will never get to you - just as you often lighten things up for the rest of us, we are here for you when you need us. I hope you get some answers soon and they are all good ones!
Chris0 -
Big Hugs to you Jo
Big Hugs to you Jo Jo....yes, we do have those days and it sounds like you are going through more than alot of us right now. I have hit the proverbial wall a couple of times but always bounce back. Just keep positive hon and know that we are all here to hold one another up!!!!0 -
Yes, and those days are hard
Jo Jo--we've all had 'em and it's totally okay to have a meltdown or two--in fact, it's necessary. I've been trying to keep a smile on my face and everything bottled up when I don't feel like it, and at some point, you just break down and it's actually okay. We're human--not robots or machines. We have many emotions (especially as women)and that's beautiful. Go with the flow, honey, cry when you need to, and when you're ready, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again! We care--keep us posted, please.
Renee0 -
JoJo,
I'm so sorry about all the stuff you are facing. Some days it rolls over us and some days it just knocks you off your feet. I hoping and praying for good news for you. Always come here -to vent, to give, to take, to laugh or to cry. We love you, JoJo!
Big hugs for you,
Sue0 -
Thanks everyone...I needed that positive attitude right now!
Im feeling a little better right now...last night i had my little meltdown and cried on my sisters shoulder and vented to all of you...I think thats just what i needed to just let thoughs bad negative feeling go so i can pick myself back up and start fresh all over again as hard as it is to do. Someone had said something about me not sleeping...ive had insomnia for at least the last month or more and i dont know why...does tamoxifen cause that cuz i think thats the only thing different ive taken in the last couple months.
Thank you sea60 for that awesome poem!!!
Gregstahl - The mass that they found is behind my breastbone but its almost to my spine and they were talking about a biopsy that they stick this really long needle thru my side like behind my lungs?...to get to it...and he said they wont even put me all the way out for it, I forget what they call it.
Once again i want to just tell all of you how much better i feel just reading your kind uplifting words and im starting to get my positive attitude back because of it and because i know all of you understand what im going through and its just my turn now to go threw it. I know it will turn out ok even if i have to fight cancer again or have a bad heart or get osteoporosis or whatever else...I will fight it just like i fought the breast cancer one step and one day at a time with a smile on my face and brass knuckles in my hands!0 -
Were here for you Jo Jo,jo jo said:Thanks everyone...I needed that positive attitude right now!
Im feeling a little better right now...last night i had my little meltdown and cried on my sisters shoulder and vented to all of you...I think thats just what i needed to just let thoughs bad negative feeling go so i can pick myself back up and start fresh all over again as hard as it is to do. Someone had said something about me not sleeping...ive had insomnia for at least the last month or more and i dont know why...does tamoxifen cause that cuz i think thats the only thing different ive taken in the last couple months.
Thank you sea60 for that awesome poem!!!
Gregstahl - The mass that they found is behind my breastbone but its almost to my spine and they were talking about a biopsy that they stick this really long needle thru my side like behind my lungs?...to get to it...and he said they wont even put me all the way out for it, I forget what they call it.
Once again i want to just tell all of you how much better i feel just reading your kind uplifting words and im starting to get my positive attitude back because of it and because i know all of you understand what im going through and its just my turn now to go threw it. I know it will turn out ok even if i have to fight cancer again or have a bad heart or get osteoporosis or whatever else...I will fight it just like i fought the breast cancer one step and one day at a time with a smile on my face and brass knuckles in my hands!
Were here for you Jo Jo, emotioanlly, spiritually, and as mentors. No one walks alone, we walk beside you.
"Were There to Walk Beside You"
People will open their arms to support you
and to listen to your point of view
At first you may feel shy
so we say take a big sigh
and the time for a healthy cry
Do not feel alone
as each one of us
will show you how its done
Today may be hard
and the world so unfair
as your body may seems on guard
but never forget, we care
Reach out and feel the bond
as we cancer survivors walk along your side
and always holding your hand
If we look to each other as a trusted guide
Those lonely moments will surely subside
The sun will again shine
as life will rise up again
and reappear newly defined
surrounded by many new friends
Steve Heart of Soul0 -
So sorry been there my selfsea60 said:I'm sorry all this is happening.
You're not being a downer. This is enough to get even the most optimistic frustrated. I feel your pain in all this.
I'll pray God gives you comfort and peace always but especially during times like these. I have this book someone gave me during my diagnosis and treatment and I ran across this beautiful poem:
I don't look back ~ God knows the fruitless efforts,
The wasted hours, the sinning, the regrets;
I leave them all with Him Who blots the record
And mercifully forgives and then forgets.
I don't look forward ~ God sees the future,
The road that, short or long, will lead me home;
And He will face with me its every trial
And bear for me the burdens that may come.
I don't look around me ~ then would fears assail me,
So wild the tumult of earth's restless seas,
So dark the world, so filled with woe and evil,
So vain the hope of comfort or ease.
I don't look in ~ for then am I most wretched;
Myself has naught on which to stay my trust.
Nothing I see save failures and short-comings
And weak endeavors crumbling into dust.
But--I look up ~ into the face of Jesus,
For there my heart can rest, my fears are stilled;
And there is joy and love and light for darkness
And perfect peace, and every hope fulfilled.
Blessings and peace,
Sylvia
Sometimes it all gets overwhelming and to much to handle . I have had them meltdowns myself. Cant help it just happens.. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Go ahead and cry. {{{{{HUGS }}}}}} Take care Kay0 -
Wow...
You are not being a downer...I am usually hyper and laughing...(Teary Eyed)
Life shows up with NO notification and we MUST adjust...
This is alot to take in...0 -
Teary EyedHeartofSoul said:Were here for you Jo Jo,
Were here for you Jo Jo, emotioanlly, spiritually, and as mentors. No one walks alone, we walk beside you.
"Were There to Walk Beside You"
People will open their arms to support you
and to listen to your point of view
At first you may feel shy
so we say take a big sigh
and the time for a healthy cry
Do not feel alone
as each one of us
will show you how its done
Today may be hard
and the world so unfair
as your body may seems on guard
but never forget, we care
Reach out and feel the bond
as we cancer survivors walk along your side
and always holding your hand
If we look to each other as a trusted guide
Those lonely moments will surely subside
The sun will again shine
as life will rise up again
and reappear newly defined
surrounded by many new friends
Steve Heart of Soul
I need support...0 -
sohardbnme you came to thesohardbnme said:Wow...
You are not being a downer...I am usually hyper and laughing...(Teary Eyed)
Life shows up with NO notification and we MUST adjust...
This is alot to take in...
sohardbnme you came to the right place for support cuz look at all of you that are here for me when i need it!
Steve the poem was really awesome...thank you!0 -
Hi JoJojo jo said:sohardbnme you came to the
sohardbnme you came to the right place for support cuz look at all of you that are here for me when i need it!
Steve the poem was really awesome...thank you!
Boy can I relate, all I've done for the past day or so is fall apart emotionally, physically I think I'm doing well considering I had chemo on Wednesday. Some days are just gonna suck no matter how hard we just want to get through them.
Love Ronda0 -
JO JO is not a loner (isn't2Floridiansisters said:Hi JoJo
Boy can I relate, all I've done for the past day or so is fall apart emotionally, physically I think I'm doing well considering I had chemo on Wednesday. Some days are just gonna suck no matter how hard we just want to get through them.
Love Ronda
JO JO is not a loner (isn't that from a song?) ... no you are an inspiration to so many of us who are experiencing similar situations. Tears are ok ... as long as you get past them to the realization that we have total control of how we deal with each situation. The most promising outcomes will come from positive energy and humor....pass it on!0 -
Thats why i love this site2Floridiansisters said:Hi JoJo
Boy can I relate, all I've done for the past day or so is fall apart emotionally, physically I think I'm doing well considering I had chemo on Wednesday. Some days are just gonna suck no matter how hard we just want to get through them.
Love Ronda
Thats why i love this site cuz everyone can relate to what im going thru...emotionally, spiritually and physically!!
and your right Rhonda somedays are gonna sux no matter what we do.
Sorry your going thru chemo right now...i feel for ya and pray its a mild one for ya!0
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