My daughter is a spoiled ...., anyone have any advise

Meena, I have to agree with
Meena, I have to agree with Chen. You need to save your strength fighting the good fight you have before you. There isn't enought time to "change" the habits of your daughter in the near future. Hopefully, as she goes through this "fight" with you she can learn some compassion and gain some understanding of exactly what you are going through. Get some earplugs and put yourself in whatever situation suits YOU and fight like a girl!! We're all here to get you through it!!

MyTurnNow said:

Meena, I have to agree with
Meena, I have to agree with Chen. You need to save your strength fighting the good fight you have before you. There isn't enought time to "change" the habits of your daughter in the near future. Hopefully, as she goes through this "fight" with you she can learn some compassion and gain some understanding of exactly what you are going through. Get some earplugs and put yourself in whatever situation suits YOU and fight like a girl!! We're all here to get you through it!!

It is called Narcism
Altough I may not have spelled it correctly. I have one of those too...a 20 year old boy...only child. He grew up an athlete to make things worse. We focussed on his athletics all his life....baseball, football and basketball and we created a monster. Sometimes as young parents we don't see things the way we should so we just do the best we can. He right now has a full football scholarship at the University of Southern Mississippi so that is great. However, the other life skills that he desperately needed were not taught to him. For example....learning compassion, humility, selflessness, etc...only comes from raising a child from a young age to be around and learn to help those less fortunate. When I recently went to the Relay for Life here, my co-workers sponsored me and raised alot of money in my honor. Well, that evening several of them came out with their young children which amazed me and made me think back on the days when my son was that age...we were at the ballpark watiching his practices and games and when he didn't have practice or games, we still took him to the ballpark and practiced with him...it was always 'all about him'. Anyway, these young kids at the relay set up a tent and did face paintings and sold drinks and snacks and helped raise money for a cause. I NEVER did this with my son and this is just one example. Others might be going to nursing homes or helping with other charities to raise that awareness in them that there are other people out here in desperate situations and you can and should help them. We live and learn Meena. I am just lucky that my son is 10 hours away and I don't have to deal with his mouth and attitude all the time like you do and I am so sorry for this because I know exactly what you are going through and it hurts us as mothers that we feel we missed something somewhere along the way. Please don't beat yourself up over this....we did what we knew to do and that is all we can do at the time. Try not to go through the regrets and guilt trips that we as mothers do. I agree though that since she is working, she needs to be paying some bills with her income. Sit down with her and make a budget of all her bills and look at her income and see which bills she can contribute to and little by little she will be forced to seek a better job to eventually pay all her bills but you have to use some tough love and get her started on paying some of her bills. With my son, since he has a full scholarship and plays football, he does not have the time to work now so it will take him much longer to eventually learn this lesson unfortunately. I am just hoping for all our sakes that he makes it to the next level and goes pro so he does not have to worry about money but then we will have to hope he allows one of us to help him handle that money and teach him about a budget and investing and saving, etc. Once they are grown they have to be pushed from the nest in order to survive. As hard as it is for us to let go, we have to because we won't be here forever and it is crucial for their success in life.
Lorrie